They both stared at me for several moments before Adrian shrugged. “Well, I bet you won’t forget the alarm again.”
I glared at him. Then shared the reproach with Harrison. “You said Neal was a big dude, but the man was all steroid muscle. A fucking rage-fueled monster.”
“Yeah, that’s what Jasper told me. Said he couldn’t believe the difference.” Harrison nodded, fear flitting behind his eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I hated that fucker nearly from the moment Jasper started dating him, but he was mainly just a douchebag of epic proportions, a controlling little bitch. In a lot of ways, it made sense that Jasper would pick somebody like that considering our father. From all Jasper had told me before, Neal wasn’t violent like he was tonight, and given his physical changes, it makes things even worse now.”
Adrian’s hand dropped from Harrison’s shoulder and began to make circles over his back. “The police will keep looking. At least we know what car he’s using. He’s not going to get Jasper. He isn’t.”
“If the man has any brains, he’ll ditch that car for another one. So that’s not going to do us much good, but with the escalating violence, the police assured me they’re going to patrol a lot more, even have an officer stationed overnight on the street for a while.” That didn’t inspire much more confidence in me. The officers had seemed like decent people, thorough and competent, but they were Lavender Shores police. From all I’d seen of the town, they’d never been required to be more than glorified mall-security guards. If Neal made up his mind to get in here, to hurt Jasper, the security system wouldn’t stop him, and I didn’t have the highest confidence that the police would do what it took to stop him either. I met Harrison’s brown eyes, such a different shade from his brother’s, but the same shape.
None of us spoke for a while. The thought of being in another situation with Neal sent a chill down my spine. I’d fucked up, not only with the security system, but with Neal himself. He shouldn’t have gotten away. The whole thing should be over and done. I’d not been ready for him, not really. I was almost in the best shape of my life, but I wasn’t in “a man in his midthirties who’d spent the last seven years pumping iron in jail” kind of shape. I’d felt every one of my forty-seven years as I’d faced off with Neal. When he’d bashed the side of my face, for a moment, I’d thought I was going to blackout. Thought I’d wake up on the pavement to find Jasper gone. It had been too close of a call. Not only had he gotten away, but I’d fucking fallen on top of Jasper—on top of the man I was supposed to protect. Only hurt him more as I smashed him against the asphalt.
The three of us sat in silence a while longer, long enough for the soft dawn glow to become harsh morning light. Finally, after Harrison peeked in on Jasper once more, the two of them left. I walked them out, set the security system, checked it, and then checked it again.
Though I hadn’t cleared it with Jasper, I taped a handwritten sign reading Do Not Disturb, under the Closed sign on the front door of the bookshop. He needed sleep; that would help heal him more than anything. He needed it much more than any tourist might need a book, no matter how important Jasper thought they were.
When I poked my head into Jasper’s room, he was sleeping soundly, his breath deep and slow. I considered grabbing the sheets out of my room and sleeping in a makeshift bed on the floor beside him. The thought of leaving him alone terrified me.
I knew how that would end.
Knew at some point in the night, I’d crawl up with him, wrap my arms around him, and swear never to let anyone ever hurt him again. Or Jasper would get out of bed to use the restroom, find me, and curl up on the floor beside me.
That couldn’t happen. It just couldn’t. The things I felt for Jasper couldn’t be real, and if I pretended they were, he’d get hurt, and I’d be devastated.
He didn’t know how he’d changed my life, didn’t know how much I owed him. Had no idea that I’d looked for him in one form or another in every man over the past seven years. I’d known that was fucked-up the entire time. Still did. But I also knew enough that even if I thought I could have a relationship again—which I didn’t—but if I did, there was no way, as wonderful as Jasper Getty seemed to be, that he could compare with the man I’d built him into in my mind.
I shut the door and crashed into my own bed. Two things had been made clear over the past few hours. One, no matter how he’d changed his physique, Jasper needed someone to protect him. And two, I wasn’t sure if I was man enough to do it.
Jasper slid off his glasses and held them up to the light, inspecting before lowering them once more and using the hem of his shirt to clean them off.
Rage filtered through me at the sight. The bruise on Jasper’s forehead and cheek, the cuts and scrapes over his legs and feet were bad, but they were nothing compared to the small dark circles on the underside of his jaw. The thought of a man with the strength and size of Neal gripping Jasper’s delicate bones so tightly made me want to pull Jasper over the table where we sat having a late breakfast, wrap my arms around him, and never let him go. That impulse was both terrifying and pointless, so I settled back on the fury, which was safer and could actually accomplish something.
“Sorry I’m keeping it so dim in here. Three in the afternoon and it’s as depressing as a cave.” After inspecting them once more, he gave up and set his glasses on the table. “No matter how many pain pills I take, I just can’t get this headache to subside.”
“He hit you hard, Jasper. Really hard.” I clenched my fist, then slid it under the table before he noticed. “You’re lucky all you have is a headache. I can’t believe the doctor said you don’t have a concussion.”
He laughed, actually laughed. “It’s been a while, not since the Christmas party for the book club, actually, but this headache is hangover related.” He laughed again. “Come to think of it, every hangover I’ve had since I moved to town has been because of the book club. That’s even including the time I was hooking up with Seth.” He paused and then made a dismissive wave with his hand. “He owns the bar at the bed-and-breakfast. It wasn’t anything serious.”
The shot of jealousy that went through me was ridiculous, and only served to piss me off. “How can you laugh right now? Neal almost got you last night.”
Jasper started to make another dismissive wave, seemed to catch himself, and sobered. “Because if I think about it, I’ll break. I knew one day, after all this time, that I’d have to see Neal again. Granted, he got out of jail a lot sooner than he was supposed to, but I knew it would happen at some point. But I barely recognized him last night. I figured out eons ago that the man I fell for was never real, but he was never that, either.” He started to lift his coffee mug, noticed it tremble, and set it back down.
The anger was replaced with a fresh helping of guilt. I’d done a shitty job protecting Jasper, and here I was reprimanding him for making jokes and trying to deal the best way he could. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” I held my coffee mug in my free hand, but I set it down as well. If he couldn’t drink coffee, neither would I. The next words burst from me before I could stop them, and only served to make me feel worse. “Jasper, I’m sorry about last night. It was too close of a call. If he had kept going, I don’t think I could’ve stopped him.”
He reached across the table and put his smooth hand on my forearm. “You saved me. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
Not true. So not true. If I’d done my job, the alarm would’ve been set, there would be no cuts on Jasper’s legs, no bruises on his forehead and cheek, and no goddamn fingerprints around his jaw. I glared at him, suddenly furious at him as well as Neal and myself. “Why the hell did you go outside last night? I know you were drunk. Do you even remember?”
He released me, scolded, and pulled back. “I remember. I remember it all. I’m sorry. That part is on me. My fault. I swore to you I wouldn’t leave my apartment or the bookstore without you by my side.” He looked down at the table, like a reprimanded teenager. “I’m sorry. I won
’t do it again.”
“You’d better not.” I hated the flinch my tone caused him, but I needed him safe. Especially when I wasn’t sure that I could take Neal on if it came down to it. I couldn’t have Jasper wandering about by himself at night, or any other time, for that matter.
Another thought hit me—if he remembered last night, was that also true for his invitation for me to join him in bed? What he’d said about me fucking him seven years ago? How he just asked me to hold him, with a tear rolling down his face?
I shut that train down real quick and jumped back on the original track. “So why did you go outside?”
That beautiful blush of his rose to his cheeks, and only served to darken the bruises. “Thought of some books I wanted you to try. They were in my car.”
I gaped at him, completely floored. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
He flinched again.
“Sorry.” I adjusted my tone. “But are you telling me I almost lost you because of some fucking books?”
Those blue eyes flashed up at me, shock evident.
For a second I thought I’d been too rough, then my words came back to me. Shit. “I mean… you almost got taken, or worse, because of some books?”
Jasper studied me, and I feared he saw more than I wanted him to. Finally he shrugged. “I think I might’ve figured it out. If you didn’t like the book I gave you yesterday, I think I have an option or two that might work. Though it’s going to sound crazy to you, I bet.”
I was tempted to reach across the table and strangle him. Books? That whole shitshow had been because of a couple of damn books? I nearly told him to forget about it, that I was never going to read again, but then I saw that hope in his eyes. I couldn’t understand. “Why do you care, Jasper? Why does it matter if I like to read?”
“That’s just it, you don’t know if you like to read or not. You only had to do it for school, and that’s a completely different experience.” For whatever reason, though he wasn’t reading, he slammed his glasses back on his face. “Maybe you won’t like to read, maybe I’m wrong. But if you do, if books can give you all that they’ve given me, I want to help you discover it.”
With the passion in his voice, with those bruises glowing at me, announcing just how close of a call it had been, I experienced the same wave of emotion I’d had while watching him work the room filled with dildos for the book club. Luckily I recognized it in time and was able to keep from labeling it again. More as a distraction than anything else, I gave in. “Okay, so what is it? I’ll give it a try.”
“Well….” He looked nervous suddenly. “I’ve got two choices for you, figured I’d let you pick.”
“Okay, let me have them.”
He motioned over his shoulder toward the door. “They’re still in the car. I didn’t quite succeed in my errand, if you recall.” He stood and swiped the keys off the counter. “Come on.”
“No, it can wait.” I gestured to his feet. “See? You’re limping. We’re both all cut up. Plus, it’s still daylight out. I thought your hangover was making you a vampire.”
It looked like that thought was nearly enough to make him change his mind, but no such luck. “I’ve got some fuzzy house slippers. They’ll be soft enough. Come on.”
A few minutes later, Jasper in his fuzzy slippers, which turned out to be blue with Grover’s head attached on the toes, and me in tennis shoes sans any Sesame Street characters, made our way from the back door to Jasper’s Mini Cooper. Jasper chattered excitedly the entire way, even as he squinted and held his hand above his glasses to block the sun. “Now it’s going to sound crazy, and I imagine when you see the covers you’ll want to refuse, but just give it a chance. I think I was on the right track with mysteries yesterday. But maybe you need something a little more fun, if the other made you feel like you’re at work.” He unlocked his door and reached in to retrieve two small paperbacks from the passenger seat. “They’re cozy mysteries. They’re light, fluffy, like cotton-candy fun. But still a mystery.” He held one out. “This first series is called Peridale Café Mysteries. The main character is a baker in this charming little village who gets roped into solving murders.”
I took the book and glanced at the cover. It had a stack of pancakes and a bloody knife. I looked at him skeptically. “Are you joking? It’s a murder about pancakes?”
Jasper waved me off but stopped midmotion and shaded his eyes once more. “Just give it a chance. It’s like Murder She Wrote, but in a book.”
“You want me to read a book about Angela Lansbury?” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and I looked past Jasper to the spot in the parking lot where he’d nearly been taken the night before. A cheery yellow Mazda Miata sat in place of the black sedan. “We’re covered in bruises because you wanted me to read a series about Angela Lansbury?” The question had started to come out in anger, but by the time I finished it, I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “I think I might kill you, Jasper.”
He scoffed. “No. It’s not about Angela Lansbury. The baker’s name is Julia. Although, she does have an older grandma who might be a little bit like Angela Lans—” He sighed. “Not the point. It’s really good. I think you might like it.” He swiped the book from me and shoved another into my hand. “The other option is this, it’s the Cozy Corgi series. In this one, the main lady sells books in a little town in Colorado, and she—”
I cut him off at the sight of the cover. It had pink-and-white stripes and a dog surrounded by candy spread out over the floor. I shoved the book back at him. “Pancakes. I’ll do pancakes.”
He handed me back the original book with a nod. “I thought so. I didn’t figure you were a dog person.”
“What?” I couldn’t help but be stung. “Why in the world would you think I’m not a dog person? I love dogs.”
Even with his hand above his eyes, Jasper’s skepticism was clear. “I saw the way you looked at Joel’s dogs as they walked by the other day.”
“Who? I never—” Then I remembered the handsome man with the two hideous dachshunds. “Oh, come on. Those aren’t actual dogs.” I motioned toward the Crazy Corgi book, or whatever it was called. “Like that one. They’re just big rats. A dog is a German shepherd or a boxer, even a golden retriever.”
He just stared at me, smirking.
“What?”
“Overcompensate much?”
“Hey!” I started to shove him playfully, then caught myself. “What would I be compensating for? You’ve seen my—”
Shit.
Jasper’s smirk just grew, and he tossed the corgi book back into his car. “I think you made the right choice. And I was leaning toward Heather liking this one better anyway.”
“I am too a dog person,” I couldn’t keep from grumbling, which only made him laugh. And that… made me want to grumble more just to keep hearing that sound.
He turned and headed toward the bookshop. “Come on. I say we not open up for the rest of the day. I think this afternoon calls for lots of coffee and curling up with some books.”
I wasn’t sure about the book part, but spending the afternoon with just Jasper and me in the apartment sounded like a little bit of heaven. Even if it shouldn’t. Then I pictured night falling, and all the tempting things I’d want to do to Jasper’s body in the dark started taunting me.
Jasper paused just inside the door, stiffening. “Shit. I almost forgot. I have the group I lead on Monday nights at the Sanctuary.” He shrugged. “Well, we still have a few hours to read.”
The thought of going out again at night made a tingle of ice run down my spine. “I don’t know if that’s a great idea. You might want to cancel.”
“No. That isn’t an option.” He tilted his chin in defiance, but didn’t look like a teenager at all, more like a man who was not going to be dissuaded. “That’s Xander’s group. I’ll never cancel on those kids.”
Nine
Jasper
The police cruiser drove slowly down the street every so often. From
my curled-up spot in the alcove, it was like I could sense it. About every fifteen minutes, it pulled my attention away from the book I was reading.
“Police again?”
I swiveled to nod over at Russell. “Yeah. They’re consistent. And a little overkill.”
“You might be reading, all safe and secure in your favorite spot, but you’re covered in scrapes and bruises. I’d hardly call a regular patrol overkill.” He shifted, repositioning his legs.
I didn’t argue. He had a point, and we’d already been down that road and a few others that were similar. On the one hand, he was right. It had been a close call. Though my emotions had been stunted from the alcohol, the memory of nearly being shoved into Neal’s car was enough to put my heart into overdrive. But despite the ache from my growing bruises and the sting from the cuts, the event already felt far away. I’d given Neal an opportunity, a stupid opportunity, but that wasn’t going to happen again. From the way Russell’s gaze followed me, even when I got up to use the restroom, I was certain I wasn’t going to be out of his sight another time.
Couldn’t say I necessarily hated that part. I wasn’t exactly hating the part of not opening the bookshop and just sitting reading together either.
Having felt the need for some comfort, I’d chosen a copy of one of Mom’s favorite Nora Roberts novels. I’d lost track of the number of times I’d reread Montana Sky, but it did its work, as always. It was like she was right there with me. How could I not feel safe? Snuggled away in my book refuge, reading lines that my mother had treasured, and the sexiest giant of a man I’d ever seen only a few feet away, sitting cross-legged on the couch as he read.
The Alcove (Lavender Shores Book 7) Page 11