My heart began to race. “Date night? What’s the occasion?”
Russell crossed the room and began to unpack the bags, setting tinfoil containers filled with Italian food on the table suspended over the bed. “The doctor confirmed this morning that you can leave tomorrow. A day early even. I’d say that’s cause to celebrate.”
“So we’re celebrating, or having a date?”
Russell paused in the laying out of dinner, casting an odd expression my way. “Both, I suppose. A celebratory date.” He tilted one of the tinfoil containers up so I could see through the clear plastic lid. “I thought Italian. Something heavy on garlic, carbs, and cheese. You know, stinky, romantic stuff like that.”
My stomach rumbled at the thought, and then again as he took off one of the lids and the heavenly aroma of spices and marinara filled the room.
Russell grinned. “I heard that.” He finished setting out the food.
“Is there a football team joining us on this date?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Kinky. I’m not sure if your body is up to an entire football team. Maybe you should start out with just the offensive line.”
“Shut up.” I laughed again. “You’re the one who got enough to feed the entire offensive line. Spaghetti, lasagna, chicken parmesan, and whatever’s in those two things over there.” I pointed toward the containers he’d set aside.
“Dessert.” Russell went back toward the door and dimmed the lights so they were little more than a soft glow, then pointed toward the window as he returned to the bed. “I know we’re in a hospital, but I bet we have the most romantic view in San Francisco.”
It was hardly a new sight after so many nights in the hospital bed, but with the romantic lighting, the smell of real food, and Russell attempting a date, I had to admit that the sparkly view of San Francisco high-rises against the starry sky wasn’t half bad.
The food was worlds better than not “half bad.” One of the negative side effects to being off the painkillers was that I had my sense of taste back, and it only highlighted just how lacking the hospital cuisine was. I groaned as Russell fed me a swirled forkful of spaghetti. “God, that’s good.”
“I’m glad.” He wiped the corner of my mouth with a napkin, then took a bite of his own and answered with an identical sound of approval. “You weren’t kidding.”
I grinned at the adorable sight of him talking with his mouth full. “Thank you for doing this.”
His brows creased. “I love you. You don’t need to thank me for a date.”
The “I love yous” had been fast and steady the entire time. Then again, that had been true for everyone. Even old Pete Marks had muttered the words, though gruffly, as he’d left from his one visit.
Russell held out another forkful, this time of lasagna.
“I’m afraid I can’t be that romantic of a date partner when I have to rely on you to feed me.” I shuffled my chicken wing of an arm.
“Are you kidding? Isn’t that the epitome of a romantic meal? Feeding each other?” He winked. “In fact, that was part of the reason I got spaghetti. I thought at the end, we could try that Lady and the Tramp thing. You take one end; I’ll take the other. Meet in the middle.” Despite his teasing, his tone grew heated. “Let our tongues get reacquainted.”
At the lust in his voice, my desire stirred.
Along with the abundance of “I love yous”, there’d also been plenty of kisses, handholding, and lingering looks, but they’d all been careful, tentative. It seemed Russell wanted a little bit more.
“Are you implying that I’m so easy I’ll put out just because you bought me dinner?”
“You’d better.” He grinned and lowered his voice, intentionally making it huskier. “Or I’m not sharing the desserts.” He motioned over his shoulder. “Why do you think I made certain that the nurses weren’t going to pop in?”
He wasn’t kidding. “I thought you said you didn’t want to risk anything like that here.” I’d tried to talk him into sex a couple of days before.
“The doctor gave you clearance. Well… not for this specifically, but things are good enough to go home tomorrow.” He sat back. “Not that there’s any pressure. If you don’t feel up to it, that’s totally fine. I figured you were probably as desperate as I am.”
With my basically uninjured left hand, I pushed the tray away slightly, revealing my tented hospital gown.
Russell glanced at my lap and then back up with a wicked grin. “Looks like you are easy. It only took two bites of dinner.”
“Screw dinner. It’ll still be good cold.” I reached out and slid my hand over the back of his neck.
Russell moved easily, allowing himself to be guided to my lips.
This time, finally, there was heat in his kiss again. Not just a sweet declaration of love, but heat. Desire.
He secured himself with a hand beside my pillow and leaned deeper into the kiss, slipping his tongue into my mouth, the warmth of Italian spices flavoring him from the little taste he’d had. As he kissed, his other hand gripped my erection through the fabric of the gown and squeezed.
I groaned into the kiss, started to thrust only to gasp as my ribs protested.
He shot upward, releasing my dick and abandoning the kiss. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you? I’m sorry.”
“No.” I shook my head. “Just a twinge. I moved a little too quickly.” I reached for him again. “Please don’t stop.”
“You sure?”
“Fuck, yes. I need you, already. So badly.” It was nearly pathetic how true that was.
He only hesitated another moment, then his smile returned and he bent to kiss me once more.
Russell focused solely on the kiss that time, letting the lust rebuild, exploring my mouth with his tongue. His fingers trailed gently down my neck and over my shoulders and then back up, slowly building the fire.
As he kissed me, he reminded me of the passion we’d shared numerous times by that point. I could feel being underneath him again, anticipate him pushing into me, filling me, while the hospital faded away—even the terror-filled ride with Neal vanished.
It was just us. Just Russell.
The same man who had changed my world so many years ago, and then brought me love more than I’d known, more than I’d ever planned on having.
“What is it? Did I hurt you?” He moved his hand to my face and ran his thumb over my cheek. “You’re crying.”
I was? I hadn’t even realized.
“Sorry. It’s nothing.” I sniffed and shook my head. “Please don’t stop.”
He didn’t kiss me again. Instead he kept his hand cupping my face and stared into my eyes. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
No. I couldn’t ask. I shook my head. I just kept shaking my head.
“Jasper, babe. What is it?”
It was the babe that did. “I don’t want to lose you.” I sniffed and lifted the back of my left hand to wipe at my eyes, bumping into Russell’s hand as he continued to hold me.
Russell released my face, then stood, cocking his head. “Lose me?”
“Yeah, the danger is over. You didn’t even have to stay this long. You’re just doing it because you feel guilty that I’m in the hospital.” I couldn’t look at him anymore, and I turned toward the window. “I’m not blaming you. I’m not. Not for me being here and not for…. I agreed to do a day at a time. To focus on what we had in the moment… I couldn’t finish.
The bed shifted as Russell sat beside me, but I didn’t look back. “Jasper, baby.”
Baby. God, he was trying to kill me.
“Jasper, look at me.” He stroked my arm.
I shook my head, and the sparkling lights of the surrounding high-rises and stars blurred through tears.
“Look at me.” Russell cupped my other cheek and oh so gently turned my head, forcing me to face him. He waited until I looked into his eyes. “Why do you think I’m leaving?”
Was he kidding? “Because, you said… We agreed.” I sniffed again.
“The moment. We only had… the moment.” Another sniff, and then I wondered at his confusion, combined it with his words. “You aren’t leaving?”
“No.” He shook his head, and his own tears fell. “I told you days ago. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You did?” Through the confusion, hope exploded. Terrified, thin hope.
“Yeah. I did.” He rolled his eyes and shook his head. “God, I’m an idiot. You were still drugged up. You were just waking up, actually. I’m so sorry.” He sucked in a breath. “I’m so sorry. I should have made it clearer.” He deepened his gaze. “I’m not going anywhere, Jasper.”
It couldn’t be real. It just couldn’t. “Really?”
He hesitated, doubt entering his eyes. “Unless you want me to. Maybe I was assuming. I just thought—”
“Of course I want you to stay. Are you crazy?” I swatted his shoulder with my left hand, which wasn’t nearly as effective as it could have been with my right.
He laughed, and his voice was thick with emotion. “You do? You sure you want to keep going?”
“Of course I’m sure. I love you.” He sighed as he shook his head. “I was trying not to think about it, trying not to figure out how it would work, because I didn’t know, I still don’t, but I knew I wanted you. Know I want you. I’m an idiot, Jasper, but I don’t have to leave you and walk away to be sure that I don’t want to live my life without you.”
I just stared at him. I stared and marveled.
He was staying.
We had this moment. And the next. And the next.
And then he was kissing me. Or I was kissing him. A ridiculous distinction. We were kissing each other, tears mingling and a surreal wonder coursing between us.
Turned out, we had more than a moment, him and me, but we also had this moment.
I ran the fingertips of my left hand over his face, down his neck then over the collar of his shirt. “I’m desperate to get you out of your clothes. It feels like months since I’ve seen you naked.” I stroked my hand over the planes of his chest, felt my cock twitch even as I teased. “How do I know you didn’t lose all that muscle?”
“Well…” Russell’s tone grew dark and seductive, and the heat in his eyes burned away the remnants of the tears as he straightened and began to unbutton his shirt. “You can’t really have a romantic picnic if the clothes stay on.”
His hands moved so quickly, and I was so captivated that he was unbuttoned and pulling his shirt over his shoulders by the time I attempted to look around him. “Russell! What if the nurse comes in?”
Russell tossed his shirt over the back of the chair beside the bed and shrugged one of his massive shoulders. “I told you. They know we’re having a picnic. They’re not going to disturb us.” I thought he was getting ready to undo the button of his jeans, but instead he reached around to his back pocket, and withdrew something so out of place that it took me a moment to identify.
Then, excitement, arousal, and an illicit nervousness surged through me in equal measure.
He grinned down at my ridiculously tented hospital gown. “It appears that you like the idea.”
I stared at the condom and lube packet. “We can’t do that here. What if somebody walks in?”
He moved to the side of the bed, reached out with his free hand and stroked his finger down the cotton covering my shaft.
I shuddered and sucked in a breath.
“It’s not like we haven’t put on a show before.” Russell stroked again and trailed his hand down my thigh, slipped it under the hem of the gown and slid back up to grip my cock. “Of course, if this doesn’t feel good….”
Before I could respond, he released me, pulled the gown up to my waist and took me into his mouth. All thoughts of nurses fled. As did the constant ache of bones, muscles, and brain. As his warm, wet heat enveloped me, my entire existence narrowed to a pinpoint of pleasure. At his touch, my eyes closed, but I opened them again and reached out to run my hands through his dark hair as he moved over my cock, his brown gaze meeting mine.
He wasn’t leaving.
He loved me, as I loved him. And we’d already been through so fucking much. While there was much more to learn about each other, it didn’t scare me, didn’t worry me. Now that he was staying, I wondered how I’d ever questioned it.
Of course he was staying. Of course we were going to build a life together.
Even through the heat of the moment, through the pleasure, I was overwhelmed. “I love you.”
Russell rose off of my cock, giving a playful lap at the tip with his tongue before he smiled. “I know.” His hand replaced his mouth. “I love you.” Stroking me, he leaned in once more and pressed a hard kiss to my lips.
My soul shifted, accepting the claiming and the promise I’d always felt in his kiss.
After a few moments, Russell broke the kiss again, released my dick, laid the lube and condom on the bed, and began to step out of his pants.
As I watched him get naked, his body was familiar, and yet, somehow, I’d forgotten just how stunningly beautiful he was. I thrilled at the sight of him, the way his muscles flexed, the way his erection sprang free, full, hard, and thick. The way his balls hung heavy and captivating, swinging as he pulled his feet free of the jeans. The sight of him, naked, with all his stunning masculinity on display in the middle of the hospital room only heightened the lust he prompted—knowing there were patients in the rooms around us, doctors and nurses moving around just outside the door.
From the way Russell’s chest heaved from his quickened breathing and his eyes glowed with heat, it seemed he was having a similar experience. Even so, his hands were gentle as he moved to the bed once more and carefully slid the hospital gown off my body, tenderly sliding it over the cast on my arm so he didn’t even cause a twinge of discomfort.
I glanced down, suddenly self-conscious and embarrassed. Though it hadn’t been that long, I’d lost a lot of muscle and was nearly as thin as I had been our first night, and fading yellow-and-green bruises were splattered over my skin. “Maybe you should’ve left that on.” I tried to cover myself with my good arm.
Russell pulled it away and then placed the palm of his left hand gently over the darkest part of the bruises on my ribs, then bent to tenderly kiss his way from where my erection lay across my abdomen, up over my navel and stomach, pausing to kiss each bruise. He then trailed his tongue over my chest, and slowly lapped at my nipple before traveling over my neck and jaw, and to the lobe of my ear.
“Jasper Getty, you are beautiful. Whether you have long hair and are as skinny as a little whip, or muscly and strong, all curled up in your alcove with your hair disheveled, geeky glasses on and lost in a book. There’s no form you take that isn’t beautiful and that I don’t love and desire.” As he whispered, his left hand moved continuously over my body, gentle enough that he didn’t cause even a tingle of pain or discomfort from my numerous breaks and bruises. If anything it was almost as if his soothing touch spread a healing balm.
I couldn’t speak. If I did, I feared I’d be overcome with emotion again. I marveled as Russell repositioned, almost painfully slowly getting on the bed and straddling my lap.
Sure. He was strong, sexy, handsome, and brave. But I knew, as sure as I’d ever known anything, that I would love him just as much, maybe even more, when his strength and beauty faded, when the years fell away and stole whatever they would steal, he would still be Russell. He would still be my Russell. And I would be his.
Still moving carefully, he reached by his knee and retrieved the condom and began to rip the packet open.
“No.” I found my voice then. “I want you inside of me, really inside of me. No barriers. Just you.”
Russell froze, staring down at me in what looked like shock, and then a smile broke over his face. “I want that too.”
It was right.
He tossed the partially opened condom across the room, his grin growing playful. “I really hope I forget about that over there when we’re
done. Give the nurses something to talk about.” He reached for the lube packet that time, twisted off the top and squeezed it into his hand. And as he spoke, for the first time, he looked nervous. “However, I won’t be inside of you, not right now.”
“You won’t?” Disappointment shot through me. I needed to be joined with him, not just a blowjob, not just jerking each other off, not even passionate kisses and spoken promises. I needed to be joined with him. Needed our bodies to make the same commitment as our words.
Then he shifted, the starry, high-rise induced glow shimmering off the flexing muscles of his body as he reached his slick fingers behind him and began to ready himself.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Russell grinned again, still nervous. He’d transferred some of the lube to his other hand, and with it, he reached between his legs and grabbed my shaft, the cool slickness causing me to harden further. “Is that okay with you?”
I stared at him, speechless, both captivated by the sight of such a huge mountain of a man straddling me, getting ready to take me inside himself. I managed to nod, and then found words. “Yes. God, yes.” My nerves got the better of me, and I looked up at him, hoping he wouldn’t change his mind. Maybe I shouldn’t admit it, not til later, but I couldn’t hold it back. “I’ve never… I mean… I’m always the bottom, so….”
Russell had been shifting, slowly moving to line himself up with my cock, but he paused, tilting his head quizzically. “Really?”
I nodded, my embarrassment increasing.
He chuckled. “Good. Then you won’t know if I do this wrong or not.” He bit his lower lip for a second before shrugging again. “This is my first time for this. Not so sure how it will go.”
His first time. And mine. I chuckled, nervous and happy. “That’s kind of awesome.”
He nodded as he laughed again, it was more of his normal, less nervous. “I figure it’s a good time. With how your body is doing, it’s not like you can pound me through the headboard.” He returned to lining himself up and squeezed my dick. “Plus, with the prospect of riding this monster, going slow is going to be just as necessary for my body as it is for you.”
The Alcove (Lavender Shores Book 7) Page 28