by Susan Lewis
“You can’t.”
“Yes I can. He’s my dad, and he’s my dog.”
“He’s Paige’s dog.”
And so it had gone on, arguing, planning, getting increasingly excited in a way that had put more and more fractures in Jenna’s heart and left her with nothing to say. They had no idea that Jack was coming to tell them he wouldn’t be living with them anymore; how could they know that when they believed with all their hearts that he would always be there?
Hearing a car pull into the drive, she immediately tensed. Bena was already in the office and her mother was at her yoga class, so unless it was Jack she couldn’t think who it might be.
Glancing at her mobile as it bleeped with a text, she quickly texted Paige back to say yes, she’d speak to Mr. Thomas about the video if she was sure it was what she wanted, and went to answer the door.
“Hanna?” she gasped, stunned to see her sister in the porch.
“I set off at dawn,” Hanna told her, pulling her into a hearty embrace. “I wondered why I couldn’t get hold of you on Sunday. You should have rung as soon as it happened. You know I’d have come right away.”
“Mum told you,” Jenna said flatly.
“Of course. Oh, Jen, I’m so sorry. I feel so responsible. If I hadn’t introduced you to that woman…”
“It’s not your fault,” Jenna insisted, turning back inside. “You couldn’t have known.”
“I realize that, but I swear, when I recommended her I never dreamt anything like this would happen. She’s always seemed so…I don’t know…”
“His type?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“But she is.”
“That might be what you’re telling yourself, but you’re wrong. Anyway, don’t worry, I’m going to see her myself. I need to make her understand that she can’t just break up your family.”
“It takes two,” Jenna pointed out. “And she has a family too.”
“Not in quite the same way.”
“I’m sure she cares about them just as much.”
“Which would be why she shipped the kids off to boarding school and why her husband is almost never at home.”
Jenna let it go at that and watched as Hanna cast an eye round the kitchen, reminding her of how like their mother she could be at times. She showed more emotion, that was for sure, and wasn’t quite as compulsive or literal, but her need for order and her way of speaking her mind were vintage Kay. “Would you like a coffee?” Jenna offered.
“I’ll make it,” Hanna insisted, putting down her bag and starting to clear a worktop. “Are you here on your own?”
“Bena’s in the office.”
Hanna stopped what she was doing and looked up. “The office,” she repeated. “What are you going to do about that? OK, I realize it’s early days and you probably haven’t worked it all out yet, but if he’s known for a while that he’s going to leave, he’s surely come up with some sort of plan.”
“He has,” Jenna replied. “Apparently he’s going to let me have Celticulture, but they’ll help me to run it.”
Hanna’s jaw dropped. “By ‘they’ I take it you mean him and Martha?”
Jenna nodded.
“And you’re in agreement with that?”
“No.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I’ve hardly had time to decide, but I suppose, if it comes to it, I’ll throw it back in his face.”
Coming to her, Hanna said, “I’m sorry you’re going through this.”
They looked up as the door opened and Bena let herself in.
“Hanna?” Bena said in surprise. “I had no idea….When did you get here?”
“About five minutes ago,” Hanna replied, going to hug her. “Mum’s told me how wonderful you’re being. I can’t thank you enough. Coping with all this is hard enough, and when you factor in four children on top of it…How are they?” she asked Jenna. “Mum says Paige is the only one who knows. How’s she taken it?”
“Hard,” Jenna told her, “but she’s internalizing at the moment. Or she’s hiding it from me, anyway. I think a part of her might even blame me.”
“No! That can’t be true,” Hanna protested. She glanced at Bena for support, but Bena merely shrugged. “She’s got to know that it’s not your fault her father had an affair.”
“Maybe she thinks I wasn’t a good enough wife. Maybe she’s right.”
“I’m not listening to any more of this,” Hanna declared. “There are only two people to blame here, and one of them is definitely not you.”
Jenna didn’t bother to argue.
Sighing, Hanna said, “Men can be so bloody weak at times, and everyone knows Martha’s marriage has been dead for years. Her children aren’t living at home, so she hardly ever sees them, and I’m not entirely sure she has any proper friends.”
“She has plenty,” Jenna assured her. “They were at the party Jack and I went to last year.” She wondered if the pair of them had managed to snatch some time together while everyone was milling about the terrace sipping cocktails and making small talk, if they’d got a kick out of the risk, if it was something they did often. Her eyes closed as the thought of it seared through her.
What are they doing now?
“I have to pop over to the post office to pick up some parcels,” Bena told them. “Is there anything you need?”
Hanna shook her head as Jenna said, “Why don’t I go? I’m sure you two are dying to talk, and I need to take the dog out.”
“It’s you I’ve come to see,” Hanna reminded her briskly.
“I know, and I appreciate it, I really do, but it’s probably best if Bena fills you in on everything. I don’t want to go through it again.”
A few minutes later she was in the car with Waffle happily filling up the rear compartment and her hands-free turned on in case Jack rang. If he did, there was a good chance she’d end up losing her temper, but she was going to try not to because all this shouting, ranting, and raging were never going to get her anywhere.
Maybe her letter would make him understand how she felt. It was in her bag ready to be mailed at the post office, first class to make sure it reached him tomorrow, even though she’d see him later when he brought the children home. Maybe she should hang on to it, wait and see what happened when he broke his news to them; she might want to say something different after that.
Suddenly needing to speak to him right now, she connected to his number and listened to the ringtone, imagining him trying to decide whether to take her call or let her go through to messages.
“Hi, are you OK?” he said when he answered.
“Not really, but I doubt you expected me to be.”
Sounding irritated, he said, “What can I do for you?”
What can I do for you? As if she were some nuisance client he needed to be rid of, rather than a wife of fourteen years. “Josh and the twins are excited about you coming home tonight. They want to go to the King.”
He sighed audibly. “Did you tell them we would?”
“I didn’t say anything, but I think you should break your news to them at home.”
“Of course. Are you going to be there?”
“Where else would you expect me to be? They’re my children. They’re in for a horrible shock, so they’re going to need me there.”
He said nothing, leaving her to imagine his anger, or guilt, or whatever the heck he was feeling. It was impossible for her to guess, because he was no longer the man she knew.
When he still didn’t speak she said, “Are you really going to do it? Can you actually bring yourself to shatter their world the way you have mine and Paige’s?”
“I’ve said I’m sorry.”
“You think that’s all it takes? To say you’re sorry?”
He didn’t answer. Unable to hold back the tears, she pulled into the drive of Scurlage Rugby Club to rest her head on the steering wheel.
“Where are you?” he asked.
She couldn’t answer; she was fighting too hard to stop herself crying.
“Jenna, are you still there?”
Deciding she didn’t want to be, she clicked off the line and started to sob.
A few minutes later her phone rang. Hoping it was him, she looked at the screen, but it was a number she didn’t recognize at first, until she realized it was Paige’s school.
“Hello?” she answered, clearing her throat.
“Mrs. Moore? It’s Eddie Thomas here, Paige’s ICT teacher.”
Remembering she was supposed to have called him, Jenna said, “Oh yes. Is everything all right?”
“I’m not sure,” he replied. “Paige is refusing to carry on with the edit of her tourist video, and she won’t say why. It’s not like her to pull out of a project, especially one that’s showing so much promise. I was wondering if you could throw any light on things.”
Realizing Paige could be rejecting the video because she’d shot it with Jack, Jenna said, “I’m afraid we’ve been having a few problems at home lately. Would you mind bearing with her for a while?”
“No, of course not. I’m sorry to hear that. Please let us know if there’s anything the school can do to help.”
“Thank you, I will.” Wondering when she’d ever felt so helpless or hopeless, she quickly ended the call before she could break down again.
—
Bena was in the office with Hanna showing her what she’d found on Jack’s computer, needing Hanna’s advice on how and when she should pass it on to Jenna.
“I wanted you to see this in case there’s something I’m not understanding,” Bena said as the phone rang.
Hanna’s attention was totally focused on the screen as she continued to read.
Seeing it was Jenna calling, Bena picked up. “Hello, lovely,” she greeted her. “Is everything all right?”
“Yes, it’s fine,” Jenna replied, sounding as though it was anything but. “I’m just going to be a bit longer than I thought.”
Frowning, Bena said, “OK. So what time do you think you’ll be back?”
“I’m not sure. I’ll call when I’m on my way. Tell Hanna not to worry, and don’t you either.”
Bena glanced worriedly at Hanna. “Do you want to tell me where you’re going?” she prompted.
“I’ll tell you when I get back. I have to go now.” The line went dead.
“What was that about?” Hanna asked as Bena rang off.
“I’m not sure, but apparently she’s going to be out for longer than we thought.”
Hanna was clearly as concerned by that as Bena was, but she replied, “I guess it’s no bad thing in the circumstances. It’ll give us more time to go through this.”
Bena nodded and returned to Hanna’s side so that they were looking at Jack’s computer screen together.
As Hanna resumed scrolling through page after page of the company’s accounts, she said, “Are you sure Jenna’s never seen this?”
“I’d stake my life on it,” Bena replied.
Hanna nodded. “Mm. So would I.” She looked up at Bena’s anxious face. “She can’t cope with this right now,” she said decisively. “I mean, obviously she has to know at some point, but we need to give it to Mum first. She’s brilliant with figures. It’s what she used to do when she was working; in fact, she ran a whole team of bookkeepers. She’ll be able to give us the bottom line so we’ll know what we’re dealing with.”
Bena nodded her agreement. “What about Jack? Do you think we should contact him?”
Hanna didn’t ponder it for long. “Not yet,” she decided. “He’s got to know this is going to come out now that he’s handed over the business….” She broke off, still trying to get her head round the potential catastrophe in front of her.
“You have to wonder if he was ever planning to tell her,” Bena remarked, going back to her desk.
“He’d have had to sooner or later. What’s amazing is that he’s managed to keep it from her for so long.”
“She trusted him,” Bena reminded her.
Hanna’s arch expression showed what she thought of that.
“Do you think the other one knows? Martha?” Bena asked.
“It’s hard to imagine that she doesn’t, given that she’s been advising them.” Hanna shook her head in disbelief. “I hardly know what to say,” she murmured, “but I certainly know what I’d like to do.”
“You and me both,” Bena retorted, checking the caller ID as the phone rang again. “Hi, Paige. Everything all right, sweetie?” she answered.
“Yeah, cool,” Paige replied, sounding far too nasal for that to be true. “Is Mum there? She’s not answering her mobile.”
Careful to hide her alarm, Bena said, “She’s just popped out to the post office and to walk the dog, so she could be out of range. Is there anything I can do?”
“No, it’s OK, thanks.” Before Bena could tell her that her auntie Hanna was there, the line went dead.
—
Tucking her mobile back into her bag, Paige kept on walking, not sure where she was going, just knowing that she couldn’t go to the gym, no matter what anyone said or did to try to make her. She was due there now for her next lesson and they might already be looking for her, but she wasn’t anywhere close by. She was at the other side of the school grounds, heading past the science block and art rooms, keeping her head down as she made for the back lane, where she could hide out for a while, or maybe even escape.
She’d called Charlotte just now, but she was at home with a really bad cold, so there was nothing she could do, and Julie, who’d texted her the warning of what was going to happen if she went to the gym, had done all she could to help.
Just heard they’re planning to steal your clothes and push you outside or into boys’ changing rooms with nothing on. Jxx
Wanting to believe that Cullum or Matt would stop it from happening, Paige had texted them to ask if they’d heard what Kelly was planning. Neither boy had texted back, which didn’t necessarily mean they were ignoring her, but it might mean that; after all, they hadn’t done anything to help her when the Durmites had snatched her bag last night, swinging it round and round, slamming it into her, and making sure everything, including her Tampax, fell out on the floor. They’d just walked away, leaving her and Charlotte to pick it all up, while the Durmites carried on sniggering and jeering.
Now, climbing over a gnarled obstacle of tree roots, Paige jumped down onto the lane and began walking toward the main road. She didn’t have her iPod plugged into her ears, too nervous about someone coming up behind her to take the risk.
If she’d been able to get hold of her mother, she would have said she was sick and asked her to come and pick her up, but she couldn’t, and no way in the world was she going to ring her dad.
Thinking of him brought hot, angry tears to her eyes, making it hard to see where she was going, but she pressed on, stumbling over random rocks and catching her hair in low-hanging branches. He’d come, she was sure of it, but he wasn’t going to get the chance.
When the rain started she didn’t bother putting up her hood. She let it fall onto her hair and face, so it smudged her makeup and mingled with her tears. Who cared what she looked like, how wet she got, or how cold? Since it didn’t matter to anyone else, why should it to her?
Just before reaching the main road she came to a stop and took out her phone again. Still no answer from her mother, so she tried her grandma instead.
Kay answered on the second ring. “Shouldn’t you be in lessons?” she asked straightaway.
“I’m not feeling very well,” Paige told her, “and I can’t get hold of Mum. Would you be able to come and get me?”
“Of course. Where shall I meet you?”
“At the school bus stop?”
“I should be there in ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes?”
“I’m just leaving my yoga class,” Kay explained. “It’s only down the road.”
&nbs
p; When Paige got into the car nine minutes later, Kay asked, “What’s wrong with you? Do we need to see a doctor?”
“No, I’m all right really. I mean, I’ve got a stomachache and I feel a bit sick.”
“Temperature?”
“Maybe. I think so.”
“Then we should get you to bed. Have you managed to get hold of Mum yet?”
“No, but I left a message letting her know what’s happening.”
“Good girl. Pull the blanket over from the back and wrap yourself up. You shouldn’t have allowed yourself to get so wet.”
Doing as she was told, Paige huddled down into the seat and closed her eyes. The trouble was that didn’t stop the tears from coming, and then suddenly she was sobbing and her grandma was pulling over to the side of the road.
“Here,” Kay said, passing her a tissue. “Something’s happened at school?”
Paige tried to swallow as she nodded.
Kay waited.
“It’s nothing,” Paige told her. “I’ll be all right in a minute.”
“It can’t be nothing if it’s making you cry. Now tell me what it is.”
“I just had a row with some girls.”
“What about?”
“Nothing.”
Kay waited again.
“They’re being a bit mean to me,” Paige finally confessed, “and I don’t know how to make them stop.”
“Then we shall find a way.”
“No, you can’t. It’ll just make it worse.”
Kay didn’t look convinced.
“I can handle it, I promise, they’re just being stupid, and now with Dad going and everything…”
As she dissolved into yet more tears Kay passed her another tissue. “It’s a very bad thing your father’s doing,” she declared. “I can’t make excuses for him, so I’m not going to try.”
Glad of it, Paige almost managed a smile. “Mum doesn’t want me to fall out with him, or she says she doesn’t, but I’d want me to if I were her.”
Kay didn’t comment on that. She simply said, “He’s been a good father up to now.”
“So you’re saying I should cut him some slack?”
“What I’m saying is we’ve no idea what will happen in the future, but I understand why you’re angry with him, because I’m angry myself.”