Caroline looked down at herself, “What?”
"You know what!" Conner muttered under his breath.
Caroline rolled her eyes at him and walked over to her suitcase and lifted it onto the bed.
“It’s flattering to know I still fluster you,” She said calmly.
Conner seethed, he refused to admit to himself that he was flustered.
“You do not fluster me.”
She shrugged, "Whatever."
Conner opened his mouth to say something else but decided it was futile. He made his way towards the ensuite bathroom and slammed the door shut, but this even a bigger problem. He could smell her shampoo and body lotion, and his body seemed to enjoy it much more than his brain.
He wondered if he should just skip dinner altogether but then decided against it, pushing his luck with his mother was already running out.
***
Rachel was seated to the right of Conner and Caroline to his left, much to his dismay. Across from him, Macy gave an apologetic smile that he wouldn't return, she was a traitor too. The table was lively as Dale retold a story to Caroline about the time he served in Afghanistan as a doctor, his brown eyes wide as he recounted the more interesting soldiers in his unit.
Caroline seemed completely fascinated by his war stories and hanging onto every word. It was much to his advantage knowing that he didn't have to engage in conversation with her, although he was very much aware of her closeness.
“There was one surgeon there, from England, he had a mouth on him that would make a sailor blush. Before I met him I thought men from there were supposed to be gentlemen.”
Caroline chuckled at that, “A man is a man, and it doesn’t matter where they are from, I’ve learned.”
Pa chuckled in agreement at that from one end of the table, while Ma just smiled at the other end and Conner wanted to puke. He couldn't believe how everyone was okay with this. From bachelorship to hitched, in less than a day. What has his world come to?
“Wise woman,” Dale said, “Conner’s lucky to have found you.”
Conner glared at his big brother, “I didn’t find her, Ma dug her up.”
Looked at Caroline "Excuse my brother, he must have left his manners in Mexico."
Caroline shrugged, "I'm inclined to believe he never had any."
Rachel nudged him and muttered, "Stop being so rude to her."
He didn't respond. But Dale was silently looking between the two, Conner had always been the black sheep. But he was never rude unless he had a reason to be, and this was reason enough.
Dale broke the silence, "How did you find this pretty little thing anyways Ma?"
Ma perked up at that, “Actually she’s an old flame of Conner’s, you don't think I would give my son up to a complete stranger? What kind of mother would I be?"
Conner suddenly got up before he said something he would regret. And as angry as he was with his mother, he still loved her, and wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. But he could simply not stand being here one minute longer. This whole situation was absolutely bogus. At least Caroline agreed to go back home, which would settle the issue. He had to just get through the evening.
"If you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed."
“Night,” Pa said.
Conner nodded at his father and walked out of the dining room. The sound of a chair scraping followed and a few seconds later Macy barricaded the staircase, stopping him in his tracks.
"Why are you being so mean to her?" she muttered shoving her finger against his chest.
Conner sighed, "It's complicated," and gently moved his sister out of his way and continued walking up the stairs hoping she would leave it alone.
If he were so lucky, she was on him like a fly to a ball of crap.
"So un-complicate it," Macy demanded, "Regardless of how you feel about her, she is still a guest and from what I can see, did nothing to deserve your anger or your rude attitude."
“You’re too young to understand,” Conner said trying hard not to snap at his baby sister.
“I’m twenty!”
They were at the top of the stairs and Conner looked down at her. Despite her stature, Macy could be quite stubborn when she didn't get her way. She wasn't pushy like Rachel but was convincing all the same. She was twenty indeed, but what did she know about love and heartbreak, disappointment and rejection? She was a pretty girl, if anything, she rejected boys. She was yet to experience that moment, when you're under the assumption that life is perfect, only to have the rug ripped out from underneath you.
Conner sighed and ruffled her short hair, "Goodnight pixie," He said using her nickname.
Macy softened at that, “Just think about what I said, she really doesn’t seem that bad and I don’t think she would come all the way here for nothing.”
Conner looked at his little sister, offered her a smile and turned around to retreat to his room.
Caroline's scent still hung in the room even after dinner, and in an attempt to eradicate it, he just about emptied a can of deodorant out before he flopped down on his bed.
As he lay there he thought about the whole palaver. Caroline had mentioned that she came here because she thought he wanted to see her.
But why, after what happened between them all those years ago? Did she think he would want anything to do with her? And what sane person would travel half way around the world, to a strange place, because of a single request. He couldn't help but think that Caroline had acted impulsively and childishly for jumping the gun as she did. If she had been more careful, did her homework and attempted to fish out exactly why he apparently wanted to see her, she would have learned very quickly that he had nothing to do with this haphazardly orchestrated plan his mother concocted. Conner's last thought before he fell asleep, was that he had to find out why she bothered.
Chapter 4
Caroline was washing the dishes with Mary after everyone had gone home, Macy was packing the leftovers up and Frank had retired to the library. She genuinely liked Conner's family. Dinner hadn't been as awkward as she thought it would, especially after Conner left to go to his room. Rachel was especially entertaining, with her quick wit and light banter. It was obvious that her husband Jack was very taken with her.
Seeing Rachel's belly made her remember her own pregnancy. She sighed thinking of her little girl and how much she missed her. She had also grown more curious as to how Mary found out about her and Conner, and why she thought there was anything good left between them.
When Macy said her goodnights and went to her own room, Caroline took advantage of the opportunity to ask.
“How did you know about me? I’m sure Conner never mentioned me to you.”
Mary nodded, “Yes, that’s true I didn’t find out who you are from him. In fact, I didn’t know about you until a month ago.”
"How then?"
“Your sister, Adalene called me, she told me about Lizette.”
Caroline's blood ran cold and she found herself frozen in place. So Mary knew about Lizette and that Conner was her dad, the plot was thickening like setting custard, and Caroline wasn't so sure if she liked it. Her sister had no right to tell Conner's family about Lizzi, she was her daughter, her life, and her secret. She took a deep steadying breath and regarded Mary.
"I thought as much," Mary said softly as she pulled the plug from the sink, "Don't worry dear, your secret's safe with me."
Caroline started to relax and the ball in the pit of her stomach began to unravel a little bit. But knowing that Mary knew about Lizzi, just beckoned more questions.
"So you haven't told him?" she asked nervously.
"Oh goodness no.
That's not my place sweetie. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to know that I have a granddaughter, but whatever happened between you two needs to be worked out before I could ever hope to see her.”
"I see," Caroline said, not sure how else to respond.
"Yes, right now it's a volatile situation, and news like this will
have to be announced at the right time."
Caroline could see why Mary hadn't told Conner, but it didn't put her mind at ease in the least bit.
"So you think me marrying your son will make such news any easier? He hates me, as it is and just imagine if I had to tell him about Lizzi, I can't even imagine what he would do."
Mary shook her head, "Conner is a difficult man, that's true, but he is incapable of actually hating anyone, he just needs time and you my dear will have to have a lot of patience."
Caroline worried her lip, patience she could do, but she wasn't so sure if it would make any difference to how Conner felt about her. He might not hate her, but he definitely despises her, and for good reason. She draped the terry towel over the rail against the wall and rubbed her temples. This was all far too daunting. What if she did tell him, and what if he insisted on claiming on full custody of Lizzi. He or rather his family had all the means, the finances to take this to court, the backing of reputable lawyers, and what did she have? Nothing.
"Are you alright?" Mary asked as she gently placed her hand on Caroline's shoulder, "You look very pale."
"It's just a headache," she lied.
"You get them often?"
"Oh no, I think I'm still jet lagged, and all the stress from today is taking its toll."
Mary reached for the small cupboard right above the microwave and took out a small bottle of pills, "Here, take two of these, it will take that headache away in no time and it will help you sleep." She turned and poured Caroline a glass of water.
"Thank you, Mary," she said and took the pills.
Mary laughed softly, "Conner may look like his daddy but he has my heart and with it comes my spite. We love passionately, but we also hold the meanest grudges. I think with time together; you both will find a way to forgive each other and move past the grudges and hurt."
Caroline sighed, “I don’t think it’s that simple.”
"Of course it is."
When Caroline didn't say anything further, Mary turned to her with an earnest look, "I won't tell him about Lizette like I said, it isn't my place. But all I ask is that you give it a week. If you then feel that there's no way forward, and you can't love my son, you can leave and I won't try to stop you. But if you ask me, I think deep down, he still loves you."
Caroline blushed and rested her head in her hands. She had burned the bridge between her and Conner a long time ago, and attempting to rebuild it, would need a miracle.
Mary smiled softly, as she pulled up a chair and sat opposite Caroline, "And you may even still love him. Just think about it and give me your answer in the morning."
Caroline nodded in agreement. Saying no to Mary was near impossible. The woman had the fighting spirit of a wasp and the gentleness of a butterfly all in one.
"I'll try, but I really think that it would be in vain."
Mary grabbed her hand and said, “I have faith in you.”
***
When she made it back to the bedroom, the bedside lamp was still on but Conner was already asleep. For a brief moment, she looked at him. He looked so young with all of his angry lines smoothed out, just like she remembered him. But she caught herself before she tracked down memory lane. She quietly rummaged through her luggage to find her pajamas and snuck to the bathroom to get dressed. Thankfully she had a modest sense of fashion when it came to sleepwear. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror and made sure she all the buttons on her flannel bunny-print shirt were fastened before she entered the dimly lit room.
"No, it's me," she whispered.
"Macy?" Conner said sleepily.
With the guest bedroom occupied by Macy since her room was being painted out, she would have to take the floor. Apparently, Mary never allowed her children to sleep on the sofas and she was not planning on making a bad impression so early in her visit. She quickly grabbed the throw that was on a chair in the corner of the room, followed by a pillow that had fallen onto the floor.
"What are you doing?" he asked with one eye open.
Caroline stopped in her tracks, “I was trying not to disturb you, just go back to sleep.”
Conner shifted and sighed, "I may not be happy that you are here, but you are a woman nonetheless and if you have to stay in my room, you should take the bed."
Caroline shook her head, "No, I'm not going to sleep in your bed."
"Just take it before I change my mind," he muttered irritably.
Caroline rolled her eyes, “Where will you sleep?”
“On the floor, obviously.”
“No, absolutely not. The bed looks big enough we can share.”
Conner snorted, “No, we really can’t.”
Caroline rolled her eyes and laid down on her little makeshift bed.
“Oh, for crying out loud,” Conner snapped.
In a split second, he was up. He stalked across to her and tugged her roughly up from the floor and practically dragged her along and deposited her unceremoniously on the bed.
"Could you be any more uncivil?" Caroline snapped as she bounced ungraciously on the bed.
"Maybe if you weren't so stubborn I wouldn't have had to take those measures," he retorted.
"I'm stubborn?" Caroline snapped, "You just threw me on the bed because you simply can't take no for an answer!"
Conner pinched the bridge of his nose, "Listen it's been a difficult day and I would really like to get some sleep, just take the f... damn bed."
Caroline crossed her arms, "Fine!"
"Fine!"
Conner got settled in and the room and an uncomfortable silence filled the room. She wasn't sure if Conner had fallen asleep or if he too, lay awake.
"I'm sorry," she murmured.
“For?” Conner asked.
"For what I did to you."
"It was Ma's idea, you're not the only one to blame."
"Not for that, for what happened four years ago," she said softly.
“It was a long time ago.”
“And yet you still hate me.”
Conner didn't respond to that immediately, but after a moment he said, "You should get some sleep. You have a long flight back to Paris tomorrow."
His response was indifferent, and it hurt, knowing that he wouldn't even lend her a minute to explain why she did what she did.
The deafening silence from earlier descended on the room again. But her mind sounded like a marketplace, as thoughts were flung from one corner of her mind to the next. But soon enough Caroline was drifting off to sleep, not because she was tired, but because of the headache tablets she was given. She fought against it, but it was futile and finally she gave up the fight and slowly started to drift off.
"I'm sorry too."
She heard his voice break through the fog of her mind. She figured Conner must have thought she was asleep, otherwise, he probably wouldn't have said anything. But when she did finally fall asleep, it was with a smile on her face.
If his forgiveness was the only thing she would get out of this visit, it would be enough to last a lifetime.
Caroline's dreams took her back to a more carefree time. When having fun was the order of the day. In her dreams, she was younger, and Conner was laughing as they ran hand in hand to seek shelter from the rain.
The scenes changed and suddenly they were both lying in each other's arms in Conner's bedroom, murmuring declarations of love into each other's mouths.
“How much longer do we have mon cher?" She had asked him as she kissed his chest.
"I leave in a week, but it will only be for a while. I will come back to you."
Again, the scenery changed, and this time Caroline found herself running through a maze of tunnels, trying to find a way out. The walls covered with graffiti, that read 'Goodbye Conner'. Hysterically she burst out crying and with the end of her shirt, she tried to scrub the words off the wall, but the more she scrubbed the more words appeared.
Plagued by dreams or rather nightmares, she struggled to get a good night's rest, and b
efore she finally drifted off for the last time, it was already 04:35 AM.
***
Caroline awoke to the sound of feet scuffling and slowly opened her eyes, to a sight that made her breath hitch in her throat. Conner was up and rummaging through his dresser. His back was to her, and she took the opportunity to stare, watching his muscles flex and release.
When he turned around she quickly closed her eyes to pretend to still be asleep.
"I know you're awake," he said and she cringed inwardly.
Embarrassed she opened her eyes and sat up, consciously touching the rat's nest that was stuck to her head.
"Good morning," she said groggily.
"Morning."
"Did you sleep well?" she attempted for small talk.
“I slept as well as I was going to, given that I was on a floor.”
Scratch that plan, she thought. It was really no use to try small talk, his brain wasn't wired that way, it had never been. If she was going to go through with Mary's plan for her to stay a week and try, she was going to have to consider a direct, straight forward approach. No bells and whistles or pretty, little packages with glittery bows.
"I've been thinking..." she started.
"That must be quite a challenge," he retorted sarcastically.
Caroline bit her tongue to keep herself from reciprocating with equal sarcasm.
“Can we start over?”
Conner cocked a brow and looked at her suspiciously, "Start over, are you kidding me?"
Caroline played with the blanket in her lap, "You should know that I had no idea that it was your mother who invited me. I honestly thought you wanted to see me."
"And pray tell sweetheart, what reason would I have had to see you?" He crossed his arms over his broad chest as he leaned back against the chest of drawers, regarding her with the deadpan expression of a bull frog. A pissed off bull frog.
Caroline shrugged, "I always felt guilty about how things ended and I thought this would be my chance to apologize for all the hurt I caused you."
Conner appeared to be considering it for a second before running his hand through his hair.
Cowboy's Barmaid: A Small Town Military Romance (Lucky Flats Ranchers Book 2) Page 43