Caroline took a shaky breath, "I'm not proud of what I have done. When I left…you have to know that it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I loved you so much, Conner."
Conner didn't respond to the words, but that didn't stop his gut from twisting.
"I thought it would be easier if I just left before you did. I knew that time was running out for us and it would have been harder and harder to say goodbye. I cried every night and every day, and then... a month after you were gone, I found out that I was pregnant with Lizette."
Conner processed this information before he finally took in a shaky breath.
"How could you have been so selfish Caroline?"
She wiped her tears, "I can't change what I have done, but at the time, I was scared and completely alone. And considering what happened between us, I was scared that you would take my child away from me."
"That's the biggest load of crap!" he started
Caroline was growing angry too now, and she stepped forward, "You know nothing! You rich kids come to Paris, all looking for a good time. Do you have any idea how many girls fall pregnant and then 9 months later they are fighting a stupid custody battle? No, you don't. So..." she started towards him and poked her finger in his chest, "Don't you dare judge me!"
"You didn't stop to think about how this would affect me? Or her for that matter?" Conner snapped.
Caroline took a breath, "This is just going to go around in circles. You're angry and I'm going to leave you to it," she moved past him and then stopped, "Know that I don't intend to keep her from you if you decide you want to be part of her life."
Caroline grabbed her clothes from the floor and turned to leave. When the door closed and Conner was alone, he finally allowed his knees to give out as he sat back on the bed. He took a deep breath and prayed that the trembling would leave his hands.
Last night, he would have done anything to make Caroline stay; but now, he couldn’t wait for her to leave. He couldn’t help the rueful chuckle that came out of the irony of the situation.
He wondered if god was having a good laugh.
***
One month later.
Conner was in the back shed, changing the oil on his bike when Rachel walked in.
“Why are you still here?” She snapped.
“I live here,” Conner said a little confused.
“No, why are you here and not taking a one-way flight to Paris?”
Conner rolled his eyes, not for the first time, regretting telling his older sister about Lizette. He hadn't talked to Caroline since that day and he was still trying to figure out what he was going to do about it. Ma wasn't talking to him at the moment; which was fine with him, after all, she had known all along about Caroline's secret. The rest of the family kept giving him hell over the whole situation.
“You know the answer to that.”
“So you’re just going to ignore the fact that you have a kid?”
Conner didn’t respond.
“Coward.”
Conner met Rachel’s eye, “What?”
“You heard me, I called you a coward. You would rather sit here and try to hide the fact you are now a father than go see your little girl.”
Conner closed his eyes and took a breath, “Let it go Rach.”
“No.”
“Rachel!”
“No! Why won’t you see her?”
"Because I don't want to mess her up!"
She looked at her brother in surprise.
“What?”
“You heard me.”
“Why do you think that?”
Conner snorted, "I'm not exactly father material. I would rather she grow up happy and well-adjusted."
The two were quiet for a second until Conner felt a sting on his cheek.
He was shocked to find that Rachel had actually hit him.
“That was the sorriest excuse I have ever heard. You would be a great father and you know it. I’m tired of seeing you mope around here, you miss Caroline and you want to see your daughter. Damn it, Conner if you don’t go see her, I swear I will never forgive you.”
Rachel then turned around and stomped back into the house. It was more of a furious waddle than actual stomping given she was in her eighth month. Conner sighed and rubbed his cheek; Rachel really had some swing in that one. He considered ignoring her and the ache her words caused. Of course, he wanted to meet Lizette and, dammit he also missed Caroline.
He went back to his bike and finished working on it and then went back to the house to clean up. When he emerged from the house it was with his jacket, helmet, and a bag packed with some clothes. Soon he was speeding down the road towards the airport with a twist of uncertainty in his stomach.
***
Paris was just as he remembered it, picturesque and beautiful. He wandered the familiar streets until he found the door he was looking for. With a burst of courage, he knocked. He didn't know what to expect when the door opened; it certainly wasn't a little girl who could only be Lizette.
His daughter.
He gave a small smile, “Do you speak English?”
The little girl nodded.
“Is your mother home?”
She nodded again.
“Could you go get her?”
The little girl turned around and ran back inside. A moment later, Caroline was at the door.
“Conner?” She closed the door before wrapping herself tighter in the shawl she was wearing over her dress, “I wasn’t expecting you.”
Conner ran his hand through his hair, "Believe me, I wasn't expecting me either," he said with a slight hint of a chuckle.
Caroline shrugged, "Would you like to come in?"
“In a minute,” Conner held up his hand, “I’ve been working on this the whole flight over here and if I don’t say it now, I never will.”
Caroline studied him intently and waited for him to continue.
“I am still so incredibly angry that you didn’t tell me about Lizette earlier.”
Caroline tensed but stayed quiet.
“I don’t think I will ever not be angry about it…but I am still so in love with you that I would be a fool to let you slip away again.”
Caroline’s shocked expression made him smile.
“And if your offer is still on the table, I would like to be a father to my little girl.”
Caroline didn't answer and for a second, Conner thought he had said something wrong.
Suddenly Caroline jumped up to wrap her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. The connection between them was so powerful and charged with a passion that could easily light up the Eiffel tower.
When they finally parted Caroline's eyes were shimmering with fresh tears.
He looked at her and waited, and when she didn't budge he smiled awkwardly.
“Would you like to meet your daughter?” She asked reaching her hand out.
Conner smiled and grasped her hand not really knowing what to expect but excited by what was to come.
***
THE END
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A Family By Christmas
Chapter 1
“What am I going to do?” Lucy asked in a voice high with desperation. She paced the small living room of the apartment she shared with her four-year-old son Jacob.
“Call him,” her brother Chris advised softly from the other end of the phone receiver held to her ear. “You’ve kept this from him long enough. Do you have any idea how hard it was keeping it from Mom and Dad?” he demanded.
Lucy laughed hysterically. The mere thought of rich, famous Joe Landers finding out he has a secret son would make huge headlines and that was the main reason she’d kept it from him. She didn’t want her son exposed to that kind of life.
“You never should h
ave kept this from him,” Chris admonished and she rolled her eyes at the years’ old argument.
“I never should have told you,” she snapped and instantly felt guilty. It wasn’t Chris’s fault that she’d fallen for her brother’s gorgeous best friend from college. She’d met Joe a little over five years ago, while she, herself, was only a college sophomore.
Joe had come back to town to act as best man for Chris’s wedding and after one alcohol-hazed night, he’d left Erie, Pennsylvania and Lucy in his rearview mirror. The town wasn’t affected as much as Lucy – she’d been pregnant with Joe’s child. He’d gone on to sign with the St. Louis Cardinal’s professional baseball team and now had a recurring multi-million dollar contract. He loved his high-rolling celebrity lifestyle and the spotlight it gave him. He’d gone on record numerous times saying how he wasn’t the type to settle down with just one woman and he adamantly claimed not to want children.
Lucy, a straight-A student, who loved nothing but studying and collecting books, couldn’t stand the thought of her son being used as fodder for some money-grubbing newspaper or tabloid trash. So, she’d kept Jacob’s existence a secret. It had worked fine for four years now.
Chris inhaled deeply on the other end of the call. Having moved to San Francisco, California shortly after getting married, he kept in constant contact with his little sister. Ever since she’d gotten pregnant and refused to reveal the father, their parents had virtually disowned her. They’d died in a freak car accident a month before Jacob was born. Chris was the only family she had left.
“You can’t do this alone, Luce,” her brother said. “You’re gonna need help.”
“And you’re sure neither you nor Amber can come?” she asked again. He’d already told her they couldn’t get the time off of work, but it didn’t hurt to ask again.
“I’m sorry, sweet pea, I wish we could, but Amber just got this big promotion and I need all the hours I can clock for the mortgage. I know it sounds like we’re brushing you off, but I promise you, I’m not. It’s killing me to know I’m letting you down, but I can’t take any time off until next month and then God Himself won’t stop me. You just need to make it until then…” He trailed off.
“And it isn’t like I can get a babysitter,” Lucy admitted. “This is a 24/7 clinic and they won’t let Jacob stay with me.” No matter how badly she didn’t want to call on Joe, she slowly realized she had no other choice.
“So, bite the bullet and call him. If he’s an ass, then you let me know and I’ll beat him senseless,” Chris threatened. “But honestly, I can’t see him turning his back on his own flesh and blood.”
Lucy caved at her brother’s trust and faith in his longtime best friend. Maybe she had been wrong about Joe, maybe she did owe it to him. Mind made up, she decided she’d call him and ask him for help, but she refused to throw Jacob in the line of fire just yet. If Joe came and actually showed some interest in being with her son, then maybe she’d tell him. Only time would tell.
Chapter 2
Joe Landers ran his fingers through his spiky, black hair and laughed at the naughty girl sitting next to him. She leaned against him, her breasts pressed as tightly against his bicep as possible and whispered really interesting things in his ear. Or, at least what he managed to hear was naughty. The pounding bass pumping through the club’s speakers managed to drown out pretty much everything. Her makeup seemed exotic but he knew the flashing, fluorescent lights always camouflaged the smallest flaws. Even though she looked like Marilyn Monroe at the moment, she was probably more of a Molly Toothless in reality. But hell, he didn’t care. His bear goggles were on tight and he was ready for whatever ride she provided.
“C’mon baby,” she cooed and scooted across to exit the leather booth seat, her hand grabbing his and urging him along behind her. “Let’s go someplace a little quieter.”
Joe nodded and tossed a few bills on the table to cover their drinks and followed her lead. Once on his feet, he slung his arm around her shoulders and laughed when they both weaved and wobbled their way to the door. Shoving through the blacked-out door, he inhaled sharply when the cold Missouri air hit him square in the face. Shaking his head to dispel the ringing in his ears, he frowned when it didn’t work. The girl squinted down at his jacket pocket.
“I think your pocket’s ringing,” she slurred and then giggled.
Joe pulled away from her and dug in his pocket until he found the offensive little device. Pulling it out, a familiar face from years ago flashed across his screen and he sobered in a hurry. But before he could hit the send button to answer, the connection dropped. His eyes flicked to the signal strength on his screen and he noted he had full service. Had she lost connection? The little screen went black as he stood there and let his thoughts run wild. He’d had it pretty bad for his best friend Chris’s little sister ever since he first laid eyes on her. Joe had rolled into town to act as best man for his bud’s wedding and this little slip of a college sophomore flat-out stole his breath. He remembered that day as clear as if it were yesterday. He’d pulled his rental car up in front of the Conlay’s modest brick home. A petite girl with a long, bouncy ponytail knelt in the front yard gathering the contents of a spilled bag. He’d rushed from his car to help her scoop the books and papers before the wind carried them away. Contents safely returned to her backpack, they rose and the moment their eyes met, Joe’s heart lurched in excitement. He faced five-feet-seven-inches of the most adorable bookworm he’d ever met; her big, brown, doe-eyes nearly cut him off at the knees. He still remembered what she’d been wearing that day as well: a yellow sundress with a pair of those little white tennis shoes. Shaking his head to clear the lustful fog settling over him, he swiped the screen to the right and held his hand up to his drunken date, motioning for her to be quiet. He then waited for Lucy to answer the call. She picked up on the fourth ring.
“Joe?” she whispered. “I’m sorry it’s so late, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“Nah Luce,” he scoffed. “It’s good to hear from you. What’s it been – six years?” he asked and batted his hand when the drunken woman grabbed at his arm, her face scrunched in a jealous sneer.
“More like five years, give or take a few months,” she answered drolly.
Joe laughed at her sassiness, his gut feeling a warmth that had nothing to do with alcohol. He’d instantly fell in lust with her the day they’d met, so when he had the chance to spend some one-on-one time with her after Chris’s wedding, he fulfilled his fantasies by giving her the night of her life. A small part of him hated leaving her behind the next morning, but she just wasn’t a good fit for the lifestyle he’d wanted. She was the kind of woman a man settled down with, raised a family with and grew old with. Three things he didn’t want.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of this little call?” he asked playfully and then scowled at himself. The alcohol was messing with his mojo.
“I need your help,” Lucy admitted gently.
Sensing a chance to rekindle an old flame, Joe shoved his date back inside the club and pushed the door shut behind her. Leaning against it, he put all his weight into keeping her inside while he made other plans.
“When and where darlin’?” he drawled. “Give me the details and I’ll be there,” he promised.
Chapter 3
“Why can’t I go with you, Mommy?” Jacob asked in a low and frightened voice. “I don’t want to stay with a sitter, I want you,” he insisted and Lucy pressed her eyelids closed to avert the tears.
She’d had no idea how difficult it would be to look down into her baby’s big blue eyes and tell him that he had to stay with a stranger while Mommy went to the hospital to get better. The only time he’d been out of her sight was when she’d gone to work; barring that, the duo were never far from one another. When she’d gotten the Librarian position at Erie’s public library, she’d found Jacob a day care just next door. That convenience allowed her to see him on days when the library sponsored children’s activitie
s and during her breaks. She took solace in knowing he was just next door and she could pop over to see him anytime she’d wanted to. He only had a few more months and then he’d be ready for kindergarten. She wasn’t sure how either of them would handle that step, but she vowed to cross that bridge when the time came.
She set the shirt she’d been folding down on her bed and knelt before her son. Little tears escaped his eyes, snaking shiny, moist patches down over his baby cheeks. She took his glasses off and dabbed at his eyes with a tissue.
“I know sweetie,” she cooed reassuringly. “I don’t like this either, but Mommy has to get better and the doctors need me to stay there while they give me medicine.” Shoving his little glasses back onto his freckle-smattered nose, she bent down and gave him a quick peck on his protruding lips.
“You get to stay right here at home and Mr. Joe is Uncle Chris’s best friend, so you’ll be just fine with him. I’ve made him a list of all your favorite foods and television shows -” Her voice trailed off when anxiety caused her chest wall to tighten to the point of hyperventilation. Taking a deep breath, she released it slowly and did her best to smile.
“Uncle Chris will call and check on you and you can come visit me, can you be a big boy for me?” Lucy asked pasted a smile on her face.
Jacob tucked his chin and hugged the raggedy teddy bear a little tighter to his chest. He nodded gently and climbed up on the bed to watch her pack. She’d just zipped the rolling suitcase closed when someone knocked on their door. Jacob jumped at the unexpected pounding and gripped his bear a little tighter.
Lucy inhaled deeply and steeled herself for the upcoming performance. She looked back down at her son and prayed Joe wouldn’t see himself in the boy’s eyes like she did. Her baby had taken after his father in every way but two: he had his mother’s bad eyesight and he was shy to the point of terror; which was in direct contrast to Joe’s arrogance.
Cowboy's Barmaid: A Small Town Military Romance (Lucky Flats Ranchers Book 2) Page 46