The two little girls nodded, solemnly.
“Where’s Mummy?” Harper asked. “I haven’t seen her.” Her little lip trembled. “I miss her.”
“She’s gone to France, silly,” said Max, frowning at his sister. “Remember? She had to leave with Billy.”
“Oh, yes,” said Harper, but she still looked bewildered. I was starting to get an idea of how complicated and confused these children’s lives were. And here was little old me, joining the fray. Another adult to learn how to trust. It must be hard for them.
Desperately, I looked around the room. I spied a bookcase filled with games. “How about we play something?” I asked, walking over to it. “Snakes and ladders?”
“We were watching Shrek,” said Max, in a bored voice. He walked back over to the television, putting the movie back on. The two girls followed his lead, sitting back on the bean bags. Their eyes riveted back onto the screen. I was ignored.
Well, that went down like a lead balloon, I thought. What now? I stood awkwardly, watching them. But they never even glanced at me.
Eventually, I sat down on a sofa, and watched the movie with them.
And it had only got worse from there.
***
I called out to the children that their lunch was ready. Poppy and Harper arrived, but Max was nowhere.
“You really need to show them you are in charge,” said Mrs. Price, frowning. “Max will stay outdoors with the station hands all day, if you let him.”
“Yes, Mrs. Price,” I said, through gritted teeth. I gave the girls their lunch, then walked outside.
The heat hit me in the face. It was so hot here; I was still getting used to it. It was a dry heat, that entered your lungs the same as the eternal red dust that swirled around the house. The landscape was vast, and barren; mile after mile of unrelenting desert. Sometimes I felt as if I had landed on the surface of the moon.
I walked to one of the cattle yards. I could see Max, leaning on the railing. He was with Robbo, the station master.
“Lunch is ready, Max,” I called. He turned to look at me, then turned back. I could see Robbo frown at him.
“Max, Ms. Bianca is talking to you,” Robbo said, frowning. He looked at me, his old craggy face full of sympathy. I smiled, a bit unsure of what to do next. “You know your manners, young man.”
Max sighed theatrically, then jumped from the railing, running back to the house. He didn’t look at me.
“It will get better,” Robbo said to me. “Give it time. These kids have been through the wringer.”
“I’m trying,” I said, looking at the old man. “I just can’t seem to connect with them. Either they ignore me completely, or they play pranks on me. Max put a small goanna in my bed, did I tell you?” I still shuddered at the thought. I had just got into bed, and my foot had touched a hard, scaly item. I had shrieked, jumping out. Mrs. Price had come running, and so had Max. I had seen him laughing as he scurried back to his room.
I hadn’t even known what the creature was; Mrs. Price had kindly informed me. A very ugly lizard, apparently.
“You need to think of something that you can do together,” said Robbo now, breaking into my thoughts about strange lizards. “You know, a project, or an event. Something that you can engage them with, get to know them.”
“Yes,” I answered, slowly. “You’re right. Any thoughts?”
Robbo scratched his head underneath the cowboy hat, laughing. “I’m just an old stock hand,” he said. “I’ll put on my thinking cap, but don’t be too hopeful. Maybe Mrs. Price might have some ideas.”
“Not likely,” I said, a bit sourly. “She doesn’t like me, that’s for sure. I don’t think she’d go out of her way to help me.”
Robbo laughed again. “Just set in her ways,” he said. “She’s been here forever, and she’s wary of newcomers. Especially a pretty young American. Can’t say we’ve ever had one of your mob here before.”
I thanked Robbo, then walked back toward the house. At least someone was being kind to me, and welcoming. I was very grateful to him.
I was walking along the veranda toward the front door when I almost collided with someone coming the other way.
“Excuse me,” I laughed, stepping back. Oops. It was the boss. Zane Connelly himself.
He looked different. He had changed out of his business clothes, and was wearing the type of thing all the stock hands wore around here. But it looked completely different on Zane. In fact, it looked downright sexy. Old, faded denim jeans and a flannel shirt. He was also wearing a cowboy hat. I was suddenly very aware of his bright blue eyes, his rugged good looks.
I could feel myself blushing. Stop it, Harris, I said to myself.
Zane looked down at me, his eyes boring into me.
“Do the children have their lunch?” he asked, brusquely. He wasn’t smiling.
“I just rounded up Max,” I said. He nodded, then brushed past me, walking toward the cattle yard.
I gazed after him. A man of few words, obviously. Not used to making small talk with the employees. But then, I suppose he was a billionaire. They probably didn’t make time for the small people, did they? I thought of Bryce, Cara’s new husband. No, he was a friendly man, very approachable, despite being obscenely wealthy.
Maybe it was just me. I was rubbing everyone the wrong way, apparently. A fish out of water, in a big dry dustbowl.
I walked into the house. At least the children were at the table, eating their lunch. I sat down next to them, thinking over Robbo’s words. Find something to engage them with. A project, or an event.
“Will Mummy be home for Christmas?” Poppy suddenly asked, swallowing her vegemite sandwich.
“Christmas is ages away,” replied Max, scornfully. “Why are you thinking of that?” He picked up his glass of orange juice, draining it. “And anyway, Mummy and Daddy don’t live together anymore. You are silly, Poppy.”
“No, I’m not,” the little girl replied. “Will Santa be able to find us, if Mummy isn’t here?” She cocked her head to the side, looking for all the world like a little bird. It was an endearing habit of hers.
“Santa will always find us,” said Harper, nodding sagely. “He is clever. He knows where all the children are.”
Christmas, I thought to myself. Would I still be here, then? It seemed unlikely, the way things were going. Perhaps I would be back in California, licking my wounds after being run out of the Outback by three small children and one very stuffy old housekeeper.
Suddenly, I sat up straighter. I had an idea. An idea as to how to get to know these kids, and hopefully connect with them.
“What does everyone do for Halloween around here?” I asked, looking around the table.
Three little faces stared back at me, their mouths open. I could see chewed up vegemite sandwich about to fall out of Poppy’s, if she wasn’t careful.
“Halloween?” Max repeated. “This is Australia, silly. We don’t have Halloween here.”
“What is Halloween?” asked Harper.
I looked at them. This was going to be interesting.
Zane
I watched the children slowly walk to the table, climbing onto their chairs. Bianca had managed to get them to the bathroom, at least, and their hands were washed.
Mrs. Price brought a steaming roast chicken to the table, carefully placing it in the middle alongside the gravy boat and roast vegetables that were already sitting there. Dinner was almost ready.
I tried to stifle a yawn, but didn’t quite succeed. I was bushed. If the children hadn’t been here, I would have finished dinner on a tray in my bedroom by now and probably be in bed, sleeping off the whirlwind business trip. But they were here, and I always made a point of dining with them if I was home. It was a way to stay connected with them, and I hadn’t seen them in a while.
“There you go.” Bianca placed a napkin on Harper’s lap. I watched her dark hair fall across her shoulders as she straightened the napkin. I had a strange urge to run m
y hands through that hair, it was so full and glossy.
It was going to take some getting used to, having a young, beautiful woman in our midst. I don’t think I had ever had fantasies of running my hand through Rosa’s hair. I could see why Jo had always employed older, straitlaced nannies now. It was a bit disconcerting lusting after the help.
It was only because I was tired, and feeling low, I told myself. Also, I hadn’t been with a woman in a long, long time. Well, I had been recovering from a messy divorce, after all. Of course, I was going to have moments of weakness if there was an attractive woman around. It didn’t mean anything.
“Are you going to dine with us?” I asked her, now. She turned toward me, obviously not expecting it.
“Mrs. Price,” I called. “Could you set another place, please.”
I could see the older woman muttering to herself as she brought over the extra plate and cutlery. It was hard for her; she was used to the old ways, where the help ate separately from the family. She would never dream of accepting a place at the table herself.
Bianca sat down, looking uncomfortable. I could see that she was feeling Mrs. Price’s disapproval.
I carved the chicken, and Bianca served the vegetables onto the children’s plates. Eventually everyone had a meal in front of them.
“What have you all been up to today?” I asked.
Max turned to me, eagerly. “I was helping Robbo,” he said. “We were bringing the cattle over to the other yard.” His eyes were shining as he took a bite of his chicken.
I smiled at him. Max was a little chip off the block, always wanting to be outside. He was going to love running the station, when his turn came.
“I played barbies with Harper,” Poppy piped up. “Beach Barbie was having a concert, and the other barbies were the groupies.” She giggled.
I frowned. When had she heard that word? Of course, being around Billy Baker. That degenerate. I could see that Poppy knew the word was one she wasn’t supposed to use, but I didn’t think she had any idea of its meaning. Probably best to ignore it.
“Well, I’m glad you are all enjoying yourselves,” I said. “As of next week, school starts again for you and Max, Poppy.” Both groaned, but I was adamant. “Hey, at least you don’t have to leave home, like you did in Sydney.” Because we lived so remotely, children here were schooled by correspondence, called the School of the Air, until they went to boarding school as teenagers. It was how I had been schooled, and my father and grandfather.
“Daddy,” Harper said, her big blue eyes earnest. “We’re going to have Halloween. Bianca is going to do it for us.”
“Halloween?” I looked at her, not sure I had heard properly. I looked at Bianca, questioningly.
She smiled at me. “Just an idea I had,” she said. “I thought it would be fun for the kids.”
“We don’t celebrate Halloween in Australia,” I said. “Well, I’ve heard they have started to in the cities, but we’ve never done it out here.” I picked up my knife and fork, spearing a chicken leg.
“But that doesn’t mean that you can’t,” said Bianca, looking at me. “It’s really a lot of fun. The kids would love it.”
“You get to dress up in costumes, Daddy,” said Poppy, her eyes shining. “And go trick or treating. You get lots of lollies!”
“Where would you go trick or treating around here?” I replied, a touch scornfully. “We live in the middle of nowhere. Our nearest neighbors live hundreds of miles away.”
“We could figure something out,” said Bianca. “Maybe the kids could trick or treat around the station. It’s as big as a town.” She picked up her drink, glancing at me sideways.
Was she challenging me? I looked at her, quietly assessing. I suppose it wouldn’t do any harm; at least the children would have a good time. We’d never done it before, but like Bianca said, that didn’t mean we couldn’t.
“Well, I suppose if you know what you’re doing,” I said to her.
She smiled, a wide smile that reached her big, blue eyes. I caught my breath. She really was a stunning looking woman. I could feel myself stirring, slightly. Damn. This was getting uncomfortable.
“Thank you,” she said. She turned to the children. “The first thing we have to do is figure out your costumes. Mrs. Price was telling me there is a sewing machine here. I think I could make the costumes, seeing as we live so far away from any stores.”
“You could always order them online,” I said. “We get deliveries here.”
“But that’s not as much fun,” Bianca said. “Besides, I’m a great sewer. I’m a trained fashion designer, you know. The kids can help me.”
“What about material?”
She frowned. “I hadn’t thought of that,” she said.
Poppy spoke up. “There’s lots of material and stuff in the attic,” she said, looking from me to Bianca. “I saw Mummy store a lot of stuff there.”
Bianca smiled. “Well, then, that should be fine,” she said. “How about we go and have a look tomorrow? There might be lots of other things we could use in the attic, as well.” She winked at Poppy.
Max screwed up his nose. “Dress ups are for girls,” he said, disdainfully. He refused to look at Bianca. Her smile wavered.
I could see he had been giving her a hard time. Max was the oldest, and he was notoriously hard to impress. He was also slow to trust; he had been the most affected by the break up. The girls would thaw, eventually; if someone was responsive enough to them, they would come around. But Max was a harder nut to crack.
I wished, for the hundredth time, that things had turned out differently. That their mother and I hadn’t separated, but also if we had to, that it hadn’t been so messy. The kids had been back and forth between us like yo yo’s, and they also had to deal with their mother’s new volatile relationship. It was a lot for kids to deal with. No wonder they were wary of new people.
“You could dress up for Halloween,” I said to him, glancing at Bianca sympathetically. “I’ve been to dress up parties, before. Even grown men can do it, Max.”
“Really?” Max looked at me as if I had just grown another head. “You’ve dressed up?”
“Sure,” I said, taking a sip of water. “Your mother and I went to a dress up party for New Year’s Eve, once. Your old dad made a pretty good Marc Antony to your mum’s Cleopatra.”
“Who’s that?” Max wrinkled his nose, again.
I sighed. “Never mind. I don’t have time for history lessons,” I smiled. “The point is, it’s okay for boys to dress up, buddy. It’s a lot of fun.”
Max thought about it, then he turned to Bianca. “Okay,” he said, slowly. “But I don’t want to be a girl. Could I be Batman or something?”
I could see Bianca sigh with relief. “Of course,” she said. “You can dress up as anything or anyone you like! Some people like to be scary characters, like ghosts or mummies. But lots of other people dress up as famous people or characters.”
“Cool,” Max said. He offered Bianca a small smile, then continued eating.
Bianca looked at me gratefully. I smiled back at her. It was a start, at least.
***
The kids were finally put to bed, after I had read them all a bedtime story.
I breathed a sigh of relief. At last, I could relax and head to bed. It was so good to be home, and I had to admit, it felt very good to have the children back at Birrimba. It was their home, after all. It had been in our family for five generations. The legacy was strong, and I didn’t want it to end with me. Not after how hard my ancestors had worked to build it up.
Birrimba was in my blood. And I wanted my children to feel that calling too. It was worth more than all the money in the world. I walked out onto the veranda, gazing up at the sky. There wasn’t anything like it. The night sky in the desert was a sight to behold. A million stars twinkled in the sky, as far as the eye could see. I leaned against the old weatherboard railing, soaking in the night. Finally, I felt myself relax.
I heard a movement. Was there somebody out here? I felt myself bristle, slightly. I enjoyed this time being by myself, of a night. I didn’t particularly feel like speaking to anyone.
And then I saw her. Bianca. She was on the other side of the veranda, leaning against the railing just like I had been. Her face was tilted toward the night sky; she looked like she was a thousand miles away, in her head. Sad? Pensive, at least.
Well, she was a long way from home. And this was all so new to her. I continued to watch her; I didn’t think she had any idea that I was there.
She sighed, picking up her long dark hair with her hands, and twisting it into a knot on top of her head. Then she let it fall, shaking it out. I was spellbound; it was one of the sexiest gestures I had seen in a long, long time. Suddenly, I was imagining her in bed, naked, picking up her hair and letting it fall, just like she had done.
I imagined her above me, breasts swaying, surrounded by all that long, dark hair…
I shook my head, wryly. This was the third time today that I had become aware of her as a woman. It had to stop. I couldn’t have these thoughts clouding my judgment of her; they were too distracting. And besides, I wasn’t ready to go there, even if she had have been a likely candidate. I was still raw over the break up with Jo. Even though I had instigated it, it still hurt like hell.
Divorce was like a death. You had to move through the stages of grief slowly; there was no rushing it.
Bianca turned, as if she had heard something. I backed away, so she wasn’t aware of me. She stood still for a moment, then with another deep sigh moved away, back into the house. I could hear her footsteps as she walked to her bedroom.
Even though I hadn’t wanted to be seen, I suddenly felt her absence keenly. I wanted to follow her down the hallway, softly open the door to her room. What would she be doing? Would I catch her just as she was undressing for bed?
Stop it, I told myself sternly. Let it be.
But that picture of her stayed with me for the rest of the night.
Bianca
“Bianca! Look!”
I glanced around at Poppy, who was buried deep in an old chest. She was pulling things out and tossing them to the floor at an alarming pace. We had climbed the pull-down stairs to the attic half an hour ago, and I was half regretting my decision to make these Halloween costumes.
Cowboy's Barmaid: A Small Town Military Romance (Lucky Flats Ranchers Book 2) Page 66