Fiona tells Donovan to escort me to my room, and she has Miguel escort Rynne to his. I keep Rynne in my sight for as long as possible before we have to part ways for our separate rooms. I try to puzzle through what Fiona said about Rynne leaving without an explanation and about him being unfocused. Did he somehow know I was in danger? He did arrive at… the perfect time. But that’s ridiculous. How could he?
I’M TOLD NOT TO leave my room until someone comes for me. I don’t mind too much because I’m exhausted. Once I’m alone, I take a moment to call Imae and check in with her. She tells me she and Yuki had a fight, but she got away. She finishes by saying that Arsen left when I arrived probably because of that—not because of me. She says she wants to speak more in person tomorrow, so grounded or not, she tells me to make time to meet her. Then I catch up on some much needed sleep.
Come morning, I take a moment to reflect on everything that happened yesterday. That feeling I had in my chest. That knowledge. Somehow I knew that Tasia needed me. She was facing Arsen, but she wasn’t ready to. How did I know she needed me? I was in Philadelphia, sure, but I wasn’t close enough to her to see the danger, and yet I somehow knew. And I reacted rashly because of it. I set an unknown number of thralls loose on the city and now hunter teams have to go out and clean up that mess.
I start my day with a few warm ups and stretches, as I wait for someone to allow me out of my room. I’m going to have to ask Imae about this. Maybe she’ll know what came over me. I don’t regret my actions, but that doesn’t mean they were right. Now I’m on a suspension just like Tasia, and Blade is furious with me.
The hunter guarding outside my door knocks and finally unlocks the door for me. “You don’t have to stay grounded in your room anymore,” he says. “Blade says you’re free to roam the base. You can even leave. You just can’t go on any missions.”
“Thanks,” I reply.
I exit my room after the exchange. I decide to go to the lobby to wait for Tasia for a few minutes. If she doesn’t come, I’ll call her. When I get to the lobby, it turns out she’s already there, sitting on one of the benches. I head straight for her and put on my best smile.
“Good morning,” I tell her from behind.
“Hello,” she replies without turning her head.
When I’m in front of her, I can’t help but notice she doesn’t smile back. She gives me a rather intense look instead. It’s as if she’s sizing me up, or reevaluating me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I ask.
“How did you know I needed you?” she inquires. “Last night you somehow arrived just in time. I think Arsen left because of you. Whatever he wants with me, he doesn’t want anyone else to interfere—or something. So how did you know? No one else knew I was gone.”
I want to tell her everything. I want to tell her I’m not exactly human. I know I can’t, but I feel like she has the right to know. I hate that I have to hide this from her. I hate that I have to hide who I am from her.
“You saved me yesterday, and you saved me from my burning house back in Reverie. It’s like you’re my very own guardian angel,” she says.
I try to think of an appropriate reaction for what she said, but it’s just too ironic and painful. So I laugh. She just told me the truth herself, and she doesn’t even know it.
“What’s so funny?” she asks.
“Nothing.” I say. Then I shake my head in an attempt to compose myself. “Nothing.”
“I still want to know,” she says.
“I just had a bad feeling,” I say. “And that’s the truth.”
She searches my eyes, trying to find the lie.
“Okay.” She sighs. “What are we supposed to do? We’re grounded right? Does that mean we’re not allowed to do anything?”
“A hunter told me I was free to come and go as I please. I’m just not allowed on any missions. No one told you anything like that?” I reply.
She smiles. “I guess Fiona wants to talk to me personally. I’m supposed to be in her office right now, but I wanted to see you first. Hopefully I won’t be grounded from you. I don’t think I’ll mind suspension that much if I can be with you.” She brings her right hand to her black diamond and twists the crystal and silver chain necklace up in her fingers. “I mean, if you don’t mind spending your time with me, or something…”
“I love being with you,” I say, forgetting to filter my words.
“Really?” She asks.
“Really,” I confirm.
Tasia’s face flushes. She tries to hide her embarrassment by twisting her fingers in her hair. “Maybe we could hang out later, after I talk to Fiona.”
“Later than that. I need to head out of the base for some fresh air. I should be back in the evening, though. We can meet up then.”
“Okay,” she says, but I can feel her disappointment.
She looks at me for a moment before getting off the bench. Then she does something unexpected. She wraps her arms around me, and gives me a tight squeeze.
“Thank you, Rynne,” she whispers. “Thank you.”
I don’t get the chance to say anything back, because she’s already running to Fiona’s office. She really shouldn’t feed into my desires like that. It makes it that much harder to control myself.
I reflect on what she said, about me being like a guardian angel. Maybe I’m not giving her enough credit. Maybe she already suspects angels. It’s not that wild of an accusation. She’s already living in a world full of demons. Just because hunters don’t know anything more about angels than they did demons a while back, doesn’t mean one is any less real than the other. They have texts and lore on both. I’m sure they realize that angels are just as real. I also know many are angry because they realize that. They wonder where the angels are, where God is, when they’re here suffering and fighting evil themselves.
“There you are.”
I sigh because I know this voice all too well. The timbre and Spanish accent is something that’s been burned into my subconscious. I turn to face him and his tattooed body, “What do you want, Miguel?”
“I want a rematch,” he states. “I want you to fight me for real.”
“I’m not interested in fighting you again. We’ve been over this.”
“Of course not. The only thing you care about is that girl, Fiona’s niece or whatever you want to call her. It’s pretty weird. Don’t you think? First you show up, and then she comes along the day after. It’s like you were planning around her, hoping she’d join you here. The fact that you two even knew each other is pretty strange. Don’t you think?”
I know he’s just trying to get a rise out of me. I know I shouldn’t take the bait, but I do. “Tasia is the most important thing in the world to me,” I say icily. “If she dies, all of this is for nothing. I don’t care what you think of me, but that’s the truth. I will protect Tasia no matter what it takes. Everything else, shows of strength, me fighting you, is irrelevant.”
Miguel just stands and stares at me for a moment. I think he might punch me in the face, but a grin spreads to his lips instead.
He says, “That’s the first time you’ve ever gotten angry, and the first time you’ve ever been honest.”
And then he walks away. Just like that, he’s satisfied. Was that really all he wanted from me?
The first thing I do when I leave the base is meet up with Imae. We meet in Wissahickon Valley Park, greeting each other with our usual exchange of a kiss, and then we walk and talk together for a while, just like two ordinary people braving the cold temperatures, enjoying the last days of fall—though last night’s storm seems to have brought winter early.
“And that’s everything that happened,” I tell her, relaying yesterday’s events in full detail.
“I see,” she says. “I don’t think I’m the best angel to ask about this feeling of yours. It sounds like something akin to heart magic, a type of magic I am not well versed in.”
“Heart magic?”
“Lo
ve, specifically.”
A chill crawls up my spine, and I bring my gaze forward. “Love can do something like that?”
“So I’ve heard, but it’s not just any love, Rynne. All angels love. The kind of love that can make you feel something powerful like that is a love that has been invested, a bond that has been created.”
“You’re not angry?”
“You’re still doing your job.” She purses her pink lips. Then she changes the subject. “That fight with Yuki was a nuisance. I had to retrieve my sword and take care of a few cameras, but everything should be fine. Blade didn’t say anything about missing footage?”
“No, but I’m on suspension since I’m the reason for releasing all of those thralls into Philadelphia.”
“What’s done is done,” she says, as if my impulsive actions have little to no consequence. “Everything is still going well enough. Tasia’s reaction to Arsen this time around was a bit worrying, however.”
“What happened? She said something strange, like she felt this sensation… love for him. How is that even possible?” I ask.
Imae shakes her head. “It was…” her voice trails off. “I don’t know how feeling love for him would be possible, but I reported everything to the oracle and he said to continue as planned for now. He also said that he wants you to return to Ilenima.”
“Right now? What for and how long? I told Tasia I’d be back this evening, so if I’m going to be long, I should let her know.”
“Yes, now. Not long, I think. He simply wants you to take a breather, he said.”
I’ve never gotten an order like that before, but I suppose there’s a first time for everything. “Understood. I’ll get going then,” I say, not wanting to waste any time.
Imae and I just passed the stone bridge above the Wissahickon creek, so I only have to do a little backtracking before I reach the stone bridge again. There’s a portal located just underneath it. I slide down some rocks once I’ve reached the bridge, careful not to crash into the cold river below. I can feel the displacement of energy coming from the portal now. I reach out my hand to find its exact location. Then I slip into the shadows and disappear into the portal.
The currents of opposing forces berate me as I’m tossed between worlds. I squeeze my eyes shut tight like I always do. It’s better that than to scream at the sensations that feel like they’d rip my flesh apart if I stayed in between worlds for long.
Relief washes over me once I’ve made it through the Peacekeeper and into the Mirror Room. All angel soldier eyes are on me the moment I emerge, but their gazes shift after they’ve confirmed my identity.
The soldier closest to me says, “The oracle wishes you a pleasant stay.”
“Thank you,” I say, even though having a “pleasant stay” in Ilenima is the last thing I want. As amazing and beautiful as this other world is, it’s not where I’ll ever belong. I came because the oracle told me to come. I’ll also attempt to enjoy my stay, but I’ll likely spend my time here inside of the home the angels gave to me, wondering about the point of this ordered, and hopefully short, vacation. All I really want is to go back to Tasia. I didn’t want to leave her in the first place.
I walk through the Citadel, just long enough to get out of it. The building is huge, majestic, and made entirely of frost crystals, but I’ve never seen more of its inside than necessary. I haven’t lingered anywhere in Ilenima more than necessary. I’ve never even been outside Zenith, the city where the oracle dwells. He oversees the entirety of the Crystal Oasis whereas luminaries, angel leaders under the oracle, are in charge of all other provinces. I don’t know why I’ve never bothered to see the other parts of the Highlands. Maybe it’s because there’s no reason for me to. I know about Ilenima’s structure. I know it’s separated into the Highlands and Dregs, both geographically and politically. No one in their right mind would want to go to the Dregs. The Highlands are where the angels dwell, and the Dregs are where the demons dwell.
I’ve only ever been interested in doing my duty. Zenith alone is huge, and that’s why I haven’t seen all of it. Maybe today is the day to change that. I don’t feel like waiting around, alone in my home. I’ll do what the oracle told me to do. I’ll take a break. I’ll force myself to.
I am actually curious about seeing one place in particular: the Crystal Oasis. It’s the landmark that gave the province its name. As the name suggests, it’s a crystal paradise. I’ve heard the land grows the crystals itself. It’s the same place Tasia’s black diamond comes from. I don’t have any first-hand experience with crystals myself, but the ones produced in Ilenima are much more powerful than those made in the mortal world. Tasia’s power was too much for mortal crystals, and that was why the oracle himself made a trip into Reverie and made sure Tasia received her crystal. I didn’t see the exchange, and I only found out about it after. It happened during a time when Tasia was really struggling. I was worried, so I stuck close by her, hardly ever letting up my watch over her, even though I was powerless in that situation. I thought we would lose her, but the oracle came through for us.
Tasia’s crystal is a shield for light, and it’s unwavering. The crystals in the mortal world can’t ally themselves to only light or dark forces. They have their baseline energy, and they take in the energies of the world around them as well as releasing that energy back out into the world. That’s how they work. That’s why crystals from the mortal world must also be cleansed and sometimes charged when they are being used for a specific purpose. Crystals from Ilenima also have their own natural energy, though it’s much more powerful than the natural energy of a crystal from the mortal world. I’m told that the crystals here in Ilenima have no alliance just like their mortal world counterparts, but, unlike their mortal world counterparts, they can alter their own energy to become a shield of light if they are tamed. I hear it’s all very experimental though, and taming crystals is something only the oracle has accomplished. The oracle, Cassius, is the one who discovered the potential crystals hold. The crystal he gave Tasia is one he tamed, a crystal meant to shield and protect. If he hadn’t made this discovery, I’m not sure she’d be here today. It’s done its job well throughout the years. I’ve been told crystals aren’t something that can be found in the Dregs, not easily, and not in these numbers at the very least—so maybe all crystals have a foundation of light to begin with. The oracle is the only one good enough to use them. However, even the oracle can’t tame crystals without a lot of invested time and energy.
The oracle has tamed crystals for each province leader, each luminary. These crystals help the luminaries watch over their Highland province as well as whatever parts of the Dregs they are assigned to keep order in. As far as I understand, these crystals just expand on the already immense light of a luminary—but every little bit counts. This allows more angels to be deployed in different stations rather than so many concentrated as soldiers in the Dregs. Light will win. It’s not a fast process and immediate results are hard to see, but there is change for the better.
I glance behind at the Citadel, all clean-cut crystals, hard and frosted like ice. It gleams in the sun, bright and majestic. The entire city looks similar to that. The buildings all have hard edges, like they aren’t altered structures at all, but natural crystals themselves.
As I walk down into the frost crystal streets, I start seeing angels other than soldiers. I mostly see single angels, but there are families. Families are much rarer in the immortal world than they are in the mortal world. It’s one of the differences between immortal bodies and mortal bodies. It’s rare for an immortal to conceive, angel and demon alike.
It’s peaceful here. More peaceful than anything I ever knew before I was made an angel. Zenith is nothing but light. It’s comforting and warm. All of the angels here are the same way. I’m part of that light now. I enjoy being in that light, but I still don’t belong here. I’m still a product of an imperfect world. Being here is a constant reminder of my inadequacy.
As I continu
e down the mountain, I get and exchange smiles with other angels. However, no one ever stops to talk. The crystal buildings are closely compact higher up the mountain, but the farther down I go, the more they disperse, and the less angels I see. I continue on even after I’ve passed the last building. I can see the land of crystals now, and the shimmering oasis beyond.
I step into lush green grass with countless crystals scattered in between the blades. They’re almost as many crystals as there are blades of grass. I’ve never seen anything like it. This place wasn’t exaggerated in the slightest. This is obviously the reason why the angels were able to build Zenith entirely out of frost crystals. Most of the crystals I see are small, but there are structures off in the distance, jagged and hard like stones, but much too reflective. They must be giant crystals. They’re refracting the light and bathing the already colorful landscape in more colors than I’ve ever seen in my life.
I catch a glimpse of creatures only ever mentioned in legends and fairy tales in the mortal world. A herd of unicorns in particular catch my interest. Their horns look like they’re made from the same variety of crystals that coat this land. No two horns are alike. Not in their color, shape, or luster.
I make my way to the effervescent waters of the oasis next. The bubbly liquid surface seems to emit and refract light like a crystal in motion; the crystals underneath its surface only amplify the effect. The water overflows and spills outside of its pool and down the cliffs of this highland. I walk closer to the edge, and look out into the distance beyond. I see the other isolated highlands, making up the paradise above the Dregs. They’re all masses of land jutting out from a sea of clouds and misted by atmosphere. Most are mountainous and jagged, but I see flat plains too.
The closer I get to the edge, the scarcer the crystals become. Once I’m there, on the very edge, I look down. The clouds seem darker now. It’s like smog, covering the dirty land below that I’ve only ever heard of. The covering is too thick to see past, so I still have no idea what the Dregs look like. But I can feel the darkness. I can smell its putrid smell. I feel lightheaded, like I’m going to pass out. I gag as I back away from the edge. Crystals crunch underneath my feet as I struggle away from that dangerous ledge. How can two opposing forces exist so close together? How can there be such goodness, such light, next to so much darkness and evil?
Hearts Lie (Undying Love, Book 1) Page 26