I bit my lip until I tasted blood. I didn’t check for Brendan’s reaction, and I already knew Drake didn’t care. I was stuck with a crazy faery king in the Darkside. I would never make it past the army outside. I didn’t have Dubh or Bekind to help me, Grim to give me advice, or some unseen goddess to watch over me.
I was alone. Pregnant. Married. Desolate.
Chapter Sixteen
For hours after the faeries I thought I could trust left, a lump ached in my throat. Sadler glanced at me occasionally, probably expecting me to fall apart. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
He held court and made a show of me sitting next to him. He did pretty much exactly the same things as Brendan: listened to requests and pledges of fealty. But he seemed impatient, whereas Brendan saved his frustration until the day was over. I wondered how Drake handled it.
I watched and listened and tried to think of ways I could use something I heard to my advantage, but there was nothing. The more I observed the room, the more I noticed, however. Everyone wore black. The majority of soldiers and servants had black eyes. All of the women, bar Vix, had white to ash-blond hair. Most had different coloured roots. Many had painted their skin with white makeup. Some had even drawn freckles across their noses and cheeks. And no wings showed. The Dark Court was all-out creepy.
When Sadler broke for dinner, Vix bade me to follow. A group of faeries I assumed were the important people in court shared dinner with him. I sat at one end of a long table, he at the other. In between sat an array of faeries I didn’t recognise. Behind them stood soldiers, some I did recognise, such as Vix and Reynard. He had been cleaned up a little. He leered at me and winked. I was going to have trouble with him if I didn’t stand up to him soon.
A woman with a cape of black feathers that completely covered one of her arms leaned across the table and snatched food out of another faery’s mouth. I waited for an outburst, but none came.
Somebody’s cloven feet made constant noise under the table. A toothless faery scratched her talons on the table as empty plate after empty plate was laid in front of her. I shrank back when a serpent-tongued fae spat close to my plate.
As much as I watched them, they watched me. Two women talked about me as if I weren’t sitting right there, pointing out my physical faults as though participating in some kind of game. I wanted to glare at them, but I was too weak, too afraid of what would happen.
I stared at my food, my hands on my lap. If I looked up, I would see the doctor, and I hated him. I feared him, too. I had heard his moans of pleasure when he hurt me.
My mind frantically raced. I was desperate to come up with a plan. I kept a firm rein on my feelings. I refused to let Sadler’s court enjoy any bit of me.
After dinner, even before everyone had finished eating, Sadler stood and pointed at me. “I’ve found myself a queen.” His tone was cruel and mocking.
We all knew I wasn’t a queen. I was a placeholder because I had something he could one day bargain with. Brendan had made a vow, so he would be forced to act if Sadler directly threatened the child. But Brendan had his own escape route—a marriage of his own. Then, he could forget all about me. Drake had already forgotten.
“And now it’s time to make a woman out of her.”
The faeries began to slow clap. My head snapped up, and I caught Sadler’s eye. He looked so pleased, as if punishing me was fixing something broken inside him. I shuddered involuntarily, and his look turned grim.
“Reynard!” he bellowed. “Take her to my room while I… prepare myself. If she protests, call the doctor.”
I glared at Sadler, making sure he knew how much he disgusted me. It was a pathetically small bit of power, but I would use it until it broke. I repulsed him, too, so how far would he go?
Reynard swaggered to my side. I eyed the knife hanging by his hip.
“Don’t even think about it,” Vix murmured, moving to my other side. I felt an ounce of relief that I wouldn’t be alone with Reynard.
As we walked out of the room and up the stairs to Sadler’s quarters, I felt numb. If he touched me, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. I wouldn’t be able to just lie there.
Reynard’s hand rested on my lower back before travelling south.
I elbowed him. “I dare you,” I whispered fiercely. “You’re not the scariest thing I’ve faced.”
He laughed, slapping my backside. “You’re the funniest I’ve faced. Get on with you. Nobody keeps a king waiting.”
Sadler’s room was guarded by soldiers. They patted me down before they let me enter.
Reynard tried to follow, but one of the soldiers stepped in front of him. “No,” the black-garbed soldier said in a strange rumbling voice.
Reynard laughed, but it was harsh, as though he were playing it off.
The door closed, leaving me alone in the room. The fire in the grate did nothing to take away the chill or warm the barren appearance. The room said nothing at all about its owner, except perhaps that the owner was hollow inside. I stood in the centre, my body shuddering uncontrollably.
A few minutes later, the door opened, and a wingless faery was shoved into the room. Sadler strode in after her and made his way to me. His eyes were dazed, as if he were drunk. He gripped my face with one hand and squeezed.
He looked as though he were going to kiss me, then he pushed me away, his revulsion clear. “Get on the bed,” he ordered.
I shook my head and took a step back. He slapped my cheek so hard that I tasted blood.
“Now.” He unbuckled his belt. “Unless you want to bleed to death tonight.”
Shaking, I slipped under the blanket, still fully dressed. With a snarl, he whirled the faery around to make her face the wall. I closed my ears to the sounds of his moaning as he pressed against her. He bit her neck then threw her on the bed next to me. He hadn’t undressed, but I caught sight of some mottled grey patches of skin on his hands.
His female friend kicked me aside and gathered him to her, a hysterical tinge to her laughter. I inched to the edge of the bed, desperate to get away. He ignored me completely as I half-fell out of the bed and crawled across the floor to the door. I heard a slap, followed by the faery’s frightened cry, but I didn’t look back. When she whimpered, I jumped to my feet and opened the door. As Sadler swore at her, I slipped outside and closed the door behind me.
The two soldiers looked over at me, but they didn’t seem particularly surprised. My heart raced as I waited for Sadler to come after me or for the soldiers to send me back inside. I couldn’t see their faces to get a grasp on what they would do next.
“You can’t leave,” one said. I recognised his voice. He was the one who had stopped Reynard.
“Let her sit there then,” Vix called from down the hall. She was walking away with the white-eyed hunchback. She turned a corner and didn’t look back. The hunchback did.
“Sit,” the same soldier rumbled when they were gone.
I sank against the wall next to the door. The soldiers resumed their post, ignoring the screams emanating from the room. That could have been me screaming my head off while people stood outside and did nothing. I pressed my hands against my ears as a thought occurred to me. Had Deorad learned his hair obsession from Sadler? Was the king punishing someone he thought resembled his long-dead wife? In court, only the soldiers had dark hair like mine.
I couldn’t stop shivering. One of the soldiers flung a cloak at me. I looked up, but both were facing forward, though I thought I saw Rumble twitch.
“Thank you,” I whispered, wrapping the cloak around me. I wondered if Rumble had done it because I had been named queen. Whatever the reason, I was grateful.
***
I woke up aching. I had slept on the cold, hard floor all night. The soldiers were whispering, arguing about something, but as I sat up, they silenced. The bedroom door opened, and the faery stepped out and limped down the hall, naked and shivering. She was covered in bite marks and bruises.
I found it
very hard to breathe. At the end of the hall, a window told me it wasn’t yet dawn.
The hunchbacked man approached the soldiers. “I don’t think the king would like people to know his queen had slept on the floor all night.”
“He’s asleep,” Rumble said. “And we can’t leave him. Not for a human.”
“Not for your queen? I’ll take her to her room. They’ve made it ready for her.”
“You can answer to him.”
“I guarantee you he won’t ask,” the hunchback said. “We wanted a queen. That’s what we’ve gotten. We may as well treat it so.”
Rumble made a sound of acceptance. “Try not to kill it then.”
“It will die sooner on a draughty floor,” the hunchback said. “Help it up.”
Rumble lifted me to my feet with more gentleness than I would have expected. My limbs were stiff and sore. I took off the cloak and made to hand it to the guard. He refused to look at me. I glanced at the hunchback, and he gestured at the floor.
I folded the cloak as best I could and carefully laid it on the floor. “Thanks again.”
“Come,” the hunchback said. “There’s a fire in your room and a better bed. You’ll be slightly more comfortable. There are clothes, should you wish to change. If you seek different clothing then feel free to ask the servant who brings you breakfast. Sadler doesn’t rise early, so you will get some sleep before then.”
“Who are you?” I asked, limping after him. We headed up the stairs, and I figured I was going back into the tower.
“You may call me… Bart,” he said, sounding amused.
“And is this my every day now, Bart? Sitting in that hall, sneaking out of Sadler’s room, and being sent to bed by Bart?”
He smiled at me. It was the first true smile I had seen in the Chaos Court. “Not quite. You’ll attend court if you’re sent for, and only then. You’ll be allowed to explore part of the castle with an escort.”
“Can I go outside?”
“Eventually. Don’t worry. We’re not monsters. We’ll treat you with respect.”
“And those who don’t?” I asked, thinking of Reynard.
“It depends on what mood the king is in.”
We reached my room. At the door, Bart hesitated. “Do you need anything right now?”
I shook my head. He turned to leave.
I called out after him. “Thanks.”
He looked back, that same smile on his face, and waved before continuing down the hall. But as soon as I closed the door, the key turned in the lock as if by magic. I shrugged. Maybe it would keep me safe.
My small tower room was warmer than Sadler’s. There was a decent fire, with more coal and turf and wood in barrels next to it. The pallet had been replaced with a real bed, small but definitely more comfortable. A wardrobe and a set of drawers had been brought in, full of black clothing. A bedside table sat next to the bed. On it was a lamp and some books. I found something in the drawers that looked warm and bedtime-ish, changed, and fell into my new bed.
I slept until someone unlocked the door. One of the women who had helped me the day before entered.
“I’m to ask what you like to eat,” she said, keeping her eyes averted. “And if there is anything in particular you would like to wear. There’s a dressmaker who can help you if you desire.”
“Can I have a bath?”
“After you eat,” she whispered. She looked at me then, still cautious. “If there’s ever anything you need, you’re supposed to ask me.”
“What’s your name?”
“Don’t have one.”
Goosebumps rose on my arms. Deorad hadn’t been given a name either. “Then how does anyone call you?”
She licked her lips, her gaze travelling anywhere but directly at me. “Rat.”
“What?”
“They say, “Rat,” when they want me to look.”
I swallowed a smart remark. “And why’s that?”
“Because of the dog.” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Right.” I had woken up feeling stronger, more determined. I had to show the Dark Court what I was made of. “Well then, I want breakfast and a bath, and then the dressmaker can come see me.”
She nodded and got on with things. I couldn’t call her Rat to her face.
Later that morning, the dressmaker arrived. She looked older than the maid, but she was dressed almost exactly the same.
“I’ll make adjustments to the clothes I already made,” she said. “I based them on the measurements I figured when I saw you at the provings, but those have changed by now.”
“Everything’s black,” I said as she pulled out some clothes.
“It’s all we’re allowed.”
“Everyone?”
She spoke around pins she held in her mouth. “Except the doctor. He can do what he likes. He’s not… one of us.”
“Neither am I,” I muttered.
She adjusted some of the clothes and made some plans for new items.
“We could try some styles that are fashionable in the human realm,” she said eagerly.
“But they have to be black. What about… accessories? Must everything be black?”
She smiled. “He only mentioned dresses. You’re not to wear trousers. Only dresses. Not as… provocative as the other courts like to wear.”
“Could I get… paint for my skin?”
She blinked a couple of times. “You want to whiten your skin?”
“No, I need some colour. Bright colours. Can you make wings?”
“Wings?” She sounded faint.
“I’m supposed to be the queen, right? So I shouldn’t look exactly the same as everyone else.”
She winced. “Don’t push too far.”
I folded my arms. “Can you do it or not?”
“I’ll… I’ll see what I can do.” She swallowed hard. “Is there anything else?”
I gave a short laugh. “I’m sure I’ll think of something.” I knew I was playing with fire, but the fae forgot me so easily that I had to make my own mark. Sadler needed my baby alive, so that gave me some room to manoeuvre if I could just figure out the rules.
I had the dressmaker cut away most of the skirt of the least repulsive dress, making it shorter and lighter. She wasn’t as creepy as Needle Fingers, but I kind of missed the silent dressmaker.
When she left, I dressed and waited. Rat came into the room and stopped short, her eyes on my scarred calf. Score one for Cara.
“What…?” She swallowed hard, trembling. “Is it true? Is that… is that the mark of a fenris?”
I glanced at my bare calf. “Yeah, why? Doesn’t anyone here have one?”
Her eyes widened so much that I laughed.
“I’m joking. But yes, the fenris did it. It’s not so deep. He kind of missed.”
“Then you’ve really been to the Fade?” Her face paled. “I should…” She fled, locking the door behind her.
I read a book until Bart arrived.
He gave me a long, hard look. “You scared the maid.”
I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the page in front of me.
“And the word went around the castle. Now everyone is talking about the warrior queen of the Dark Court.”
I tried not to smile.
“May I see?” he asked.
I twisted my leg so he could see. The starburst scar on my shoulder was visible, too, but Bart’s eyes were drawn right to the scarring on my calf.
“Interesting,” he said in a tight voice. “You’ve been called to court. Please accompany me downstairs.”
He escorted me into the great hall, where people had gathered. Sadler hadn’t shown up yet. Bart led me to the chair next to Sadler’s. As I was about to sit down, Reynard moved as if to help me only to cop a feel of my boobs.
“You’re running out of chances,” I said in a loud voice.
He laughed until he realised nobody was joining in. I stared at him until he stepped away, then I sat. Behind me,
Vix made a sound that might have been laugh.
I looked out at the court and tried not to react to the many faces and stares. I needed to be careful. I needed to be untouchable. I needed to make them too afraid to hurt me. I needed to harden my heart some more. And as soon as I got a chance, I needed to get the hell out of there. I crossed my legs and dangled my ankle, making sure my scarred calf was visible. If it scared a maid, maybe it would work on others.
When Sadler arrived, the tension in the room ratcheted upward. I stayed seated when he approached his throne. He didn’t look at me, but the doctor touched me with his staff again, and my back arched of its own accord. I gripped the arms of my chair and held on until the spasms passed. I didn’t make a sound.
When it was over, Sadler was looking right at me. “A day in court and already your name is the one on everyone’s lips,” he said mockingly. “And all because of a few ugly scars. Amazing.”
“If you saw the fenris, your tone would be more respectful.” I immediately regretted my response.
Sadler laughed. “A fenris, was it?”
“We didn’t come to the Darkside for the parties.”
“That you didn’t. So it’s true then. Brendan escaped the Fade twice. Typical of his luck.” He stood. “And how lucky we are to have a queen who isn’t afraid of the Fade nor the fenris. We should all thank the gods for her presence.” He sneered down at me. “Her reputation precedes her.”
I tried not to flinch, but he had forgotten about me already. I wondered if I would have been called to court if people hadn’t been talking about me. Then I realised that he probably wouldn’t kill his queen in front of all of his subjects. I was safe if I was at court all day.
All day, I observed as the king barely listened to his subjects. He seemed to be as repulsed by them as he was by me. The entire court wore black, making it look as though we were at some kind of never-ending funeral.
A couple of poor-looking fae in faded black clothes begged for food, but Sadler had them sent away. I thought back to the meal the night before. I hadn’t been able to eat a thing, but the portions had been tiny. Maybe things weren’t as resplendent in the Dark Court as the king wanted the realm to believe.
Queen (Chaos #3) Page 13