“Perfect.” I say to myself.
“Huh?” Marlon ask from the passenger seat as he eats his fries.
“Nothing.” I look over to him and see him smile.
“You must’ve read that article this morning.” He laughs.
“Why is everyone in this city riding this dude’s dick?”
“He has connections.” Marlon shrugs. “From what I hear he’s the go to guy if you’re knee deep in shit.”
“He’s dirty.” I look to him again.
“He probably is.” I don’t want Danny around someone who’s dirty. Danny may be a bitch but she’s a good girl. Everything she’s achieved has been done the right way; she doesn’t need to pair herself up with this dirty white boy. “Is that why you and I have been stalking them for the past three days?” He laughs again. “I’m a real-estate agent; stalking people can hurt my business.” He laughs harder.
“I’m not stalking them. If my son is around Danny then that means he’s around Malcolm and if Malcolm is dirty-“
“Come on Jon, you know Danny better than that. You know she ain’t letting shit happen to Nicky. That’s her damn world.” True. I let out a deep breath. Maybe I wasn’t concerned about Nicky. Maybe I was concerned about Danny. Maybe I didn’t want Danny around Malcolm. Maybe I wanted Danny around me. “I know this is hard for you.” Oh here we go, Marlon and his sentimental moments.
“Not today.” I say while taking a sip of my green tea.
“I’m just saying, I know this is hard for you. Everyone can tell that you still love Danielle.”
“She’s the mother of my child.”
“Listen, you don’t have to make an excuse for loving the woman you’ve been with for nearly a decade.” He puts his hands up in defense. “If you love her, you love her.” I say nothing; the last thing I want to dive into is a discussion about feelings. “Losing her has probably been a big loss for you.” What does that mean?
“What do you mean?”
“Well you know how Danielle is.”
“No, how is she?”
“She takes care of shit. Like in college, she kept a calendar for you and made you tell her everyone’s birthday: mom, sister, brothers, even your father. Then she’d buy a card and make you sign it before mailing it off. Stuff like that. She took care of you, kept you connected because, well, you know how you can get.”
“What?”
“You know you can be a loner. Nothing wrong with it but you’ve always been like that, you like to live in your own world. Danielle made sure you stayed relevant.” He’s right. It’s a struggle for me to call someone and check in on them. As a matter of fact, I won’t do it. Danny was the bridge for me and the rest of the world since she networked effortlessly.
“You think she got tired of doing that?” I hate to ask because I’m sure it’ll throw me into the deep end of an emotional pool, but I’ve got to know. Did Danny leave me because she was tired of taking care of me? Has Malcolm got his shit so together that she doesn’t have to remind him of his mother’s birthday?
“Nah, Danielle’s the ‘take care of you’ type. She’d fly into Boston from Houston all the time when Jasmine was stressed out about the wedding and remember she stayed here for two weeks when Rena had the baby and didn’t even know how to burp him.” Marlon laughs. “That damn Rena…no maternal instincts at all.”
“So what was it?”
“Well, from what I hear from Jasmine, Danielle didn’t mind you being distant with the rest of us, but she wanted you to treat her different. Special.”
“And I guess I didn’t.” I look to Danny again who’s talking to Lola right now. She seems so into it. They’re both leaning into the table, nodding their heads while the other speaks, waiting to agree with the other. This is right up Danny’s alley. She’s a damn talker so why not surround her with Cadence who’s a damn clown, Lola who obviously is just as energetic as Danny and Malcolm who pretends to be into everything Danny is saying?
“In the beginning you treated her different and then, well according to Danny, things changed.”
“Because I had to work?”
“Maybe. Maybe things would have been better if you didn’t work out of town each week. I don’t know.”
“Did Danny say that?”
“She never said that it was because you worked out of town, she just said that when you came back you two didn’t talk.” He eats more fries, I’m not looking at him, but I can hear him crunching. I’m looking at Malcolm.
“He’s using her.”
“For what?”
“Her connections. Her image.” How dare he ask if she wanted to come to lunch with the crew. That phrase is an obvious attempt at appearing ‘down’. Pathetic.
“He may be. He’s a republican but the democrats like him; they say he’s a liberal. Maybe he’s using Danny to prove that he can work across both party lines.”
“That’s exactly what he’s doing. Danny is connected to feminist groups, they run Boston, they hate the republicans, she’s he link.”
“Could be the case.” I look to Marlon, he’s not helping. “But then again, he may just like her.” He shrugs. “Jasmine told me that he’s liked her since high school.” Yeah, I know.
“So this is her new crew?” I point towards the window. Nat is laughing so hard now, his face is red. Gross.
“Yeah, she hangs with them. Well, from what I hear, Lola and Cadence live in Houston but they fly in. But she, Jasmine and Rena go out once a week too.” Huh? They do?
“They do?”
“Yeah.” He laughs. “Rena drags them to one of those shitty bars you, she and Matt like. I have no idea why the three of you like hanging out in those disgusting ass dives that double as catfish houses.” He shakes his head and takes a bite of his burger. “But whatever makes you three happy.” I think about those last words. Rena, Matt and I like those around-the-way spots. They keep us humble; we all grew up poor and we don’t want to forget to be grateful for what we now have. But Danny, Jasmine and Marlon grew up with money. Marlon’s family is from Philly and they’re well-off real-estate moguls, Jasmine and Danny are from Boston and their families are well off. They hate those dives Rena drags them to but they go. They go to make us happy. And now that I think about it, we never go to a spot that the Danny might like. I wonder why.
“Why don’t the three of you ever ask us to go to a snooty ass sushi bar or something?”
“Because the other three of you hate them.”
“So what? The three of you hate dives.”
“Doesn’t matter. We go because the three of you like them and it’s easy for the three of us to assimilate then it is for you. We’ve noticed that so we don’t push. We’ll hang out where you, Rena and Matt feel comfortable. Jasmine, Danny and I know how to have fun anywhere.” He shrugs. “It’s not a big deal for us.” So why did I make it such a big deal with Danny when we were married. If she could be drug to one of those bars that she hates, once a week, just to spend time with her friends, then why couldn’t I just have went to one of those snooty ass restaurants with her? Shit…why didn’t I just go?
“Damn.” I lean my head back on the headrest.
“It’s all good Jon. Shit happens, you live and you learn, man.”
“I lost my fucking wife Marlon.” He says nothing. “Fuck.”
“Calm down. It’s alright. You never know what the future holds for you and Danny.” Here he goes with this sentimental shit. “It’ll all work out in the end.”
“No,” I shake my head, “it won’t.” I want my wife back.
December 3rd
Jacob 6:34 pm: Drinks @8…Piranha.
Jacob: 6:50 pm: You’re not answering…Laura still there?
Blair 7:01 pm: Just calmed her down and got her to leave.
Jacob 7:01 pm: Damn dude, she’s obsessed
Blair 7:02 pm: Be there at 8, I need a fucking drink.
“Change of venue.” I say to Matt and Marlon.
“Why?” Mat
t asks. “I mean, what’s the difference between one bougie ass place from the next?” He puts his blinker on to make a right and heads towards Piranha Sushi Bar while Marlon texts Jasmine that there’s been a change.
“She’s going to kill me.” Marlon says.
“Grow some balls!” Matt laughs while I look out of the window. There’s no doubt that Jasmine will catch the blame for this. Everyone knows that she’s had a hard time accepting Danny and my divorce. Jasmine lives in a world where everything and everyone is perfect. She wants friends who are all happily married and living in Boston. She wants to go out on the weekend together and celebrate birthdays and promotions. Knowing that Danny and I are divorced ruined her plans on having a perfect life. Because of that, I’m sure Danny will blame her for this. But not to worry, I’ll eventually take the fall. “If the man wants his wife back, then he has every right to do whatever it is that he needs to do. That’s the law of the jungle.” Couldn’t have said it better myself.
“Yeah, but Danielle’s going to think Jasmine planned this.”
“Damn dude, relax.” Marlon exhales and leans his head back onto the seat. I’m in the back, my preferred place, where I can stretch out and be alone. “It’s like you don’t care that Danielle is fucking a white dude.” Matt and my eyes meet in the rear view mirror. “Sorry.” I look away. I have no idea if Danny and her new boyfriend are sleeping together but chances are, from the way he’s so possessive of her, the way he touches the back of her neck, the way he leans back in his chair like he’s King Tut, they probably are sleeping together. I wonder would Danny be so cheap as to screw him while our son is in the next room.
“Look, to be honest, I don’t want any issues with Jasmine.” Marlon says. “After the whole Hilton Head incident, Danielle basically told her to stay the fuck out of her personal life. Danielle didn’t call Jasmine for two weeks and I had to deal with that shit: Jasmine’s ass walking around crying every morning, every night.” He shakes his head. “This is a bad idea.”
“No, it’s not. Jon, tell him that this is a good idea.”
“It’s a good idea.” I say, still looking outside of the window.
“See, there you go.”
And, aside from the music blaring in the car, things were silent on the way to Piranha. I don’t know what Matt is thinking about but, I’m thinking about Danny screwing Malcolm and Marlon is worried about Jasmine not screwing him.
Piranha is packed. There are white people walking the entire street that the building sits on. White girls in black outfits, short ass skirts, stripper heels and bleached blond hair. And this is the crowd that Danny wants to be around?
“This is why I don’t come to shit like this.” Matt says as he pulls up to valet. “Who ever heard of having your car valet parked just to grab a damn drink?”
“Different crowd.” Marlon mumbles.
“Yeah, no shit.”
After we hop out, the valet hops in and then we turn to walk towards Piranha. Audis, Benz’s, BMW’s and every other ostentatious car that screams ‘I have money and loads of it’ are parked along the street. We all walk up to the restaurant silently, grabbing the attention of all those around. First, we’re black, second Marlon and I are both over six, four, third, we’re black men. White girls love black men, don’t let them tell you otherwise. And, if we’re here, then we must be black men with money. Basketball players? That’s what everyone’s eyes are asking. Good. That lets me know that he’ll see us and the thought of him being with his friends while he sees Danny and me together, makes me smile.
“Hey!” Rena yells from a distance when we comes into sight.
Danny and Jasmine turn to see us walking towards them and they start to immediately seethe. Jasmine’s eyes are shooting holes through Marlon and Danny’s eyes are shooting holes through Jasmine. Don’t worry Jasmine, I’ll get you out of this.
“I didn’t know you were coming Jon!” Rena says. She already sounds drunk. I smile at her and then look to Danny. What will she say? Danny looks to me, pastes a smile on her face and waves.
“Hey guys.” She says. Wow Danny, pretty good. You’re usually not a great pretender, especially when you’re trying not to be. And I know you well enough to know that you’re pissed, you want people to know you’re pissed but you want to be pissed politely.
“Prettiest women here, I’ll tell you…” Matt says as he nearly runs to them and hugs them all one by one, whispering into Rena’s ear when he hugs her. I never did that. I never did anything playful like whispering something into Danny’s ear so that no one else would hear. I wonder if that’s why she left me.
“Hey Jazzy.” Marlon says. She says nothing. She looks like she’s about to choke the shit out of him. He tries to give her a hug, she doesn’t move. And that’s when I see him. Ah, the fates are shining down on me. Why? Well I see Malcolm in the window of the sushi bar, he’s sitting with friends, Nat and Jacob are sitting next to him and they’re looking out of the window. I don’t meet their eyes, I don’t want them to know that I’ve seen them but I can tell you exactly what Malcolm’s wearing: a light blue button up with a striped tie, loosened of course like he’s been working so fucking hard, his sleeves are rolled up and he’s holding a glass of something dark. Yeah, I can see you. The fates have been lucky because I haven’t said my hellos to the ladies yet and saying hellos mean that I’m entitled to hugs. A smile comes across my face. I look to Danny and she has a forced grin. Time to hug, my love. I walk to her and take her into my arms. I mean, I actually scoop her up like I’ve never done before, wrap my arm around her waist and kiss her on the cheek. Damn, she smells good…fresh. She places her hands on my shoulders and tries to ease me away.
“Where’s Nicky?” She says, trying to sound as nice as she can. I look into her eyes. Do my shoulders feel like his? They may not be as wide as his but didn’t they feel good once before? Didn’t you used to say that my shoulders were my best asset? She avoids eye contact. My cell phone gives off three short buzzes. He’s texting her. She’s fine you son-of-a-bitch, leave her the hell alone.
“At Fran and Paul’s.” I answer in her ear, appearing as though I’m whispering some sexy shit, just like Matt did. Nicky is with his godparent’s, you are with me, Malcolm is in the window. Everything’s fine.
“Let’s go into this bougie ass sushi spot.” Matt says. “Damn, it’s packed in here.”
“This is why I don’t come up here.” Rena says as Matt leads her in. Marlon reaches for Jasmine’s hand, she jerks it away. They pair off together and then I pair off with Danny.
Why does this have to feel awkward? We were married for god’s sake. We have a son together. I was in the room when you delivered him. I don’t look back towards Malcolm but I know his eyes are following us. The music is blaring some terrible sounding shit filled with guitars and angry ass white boys singing about being mad because they’re privileged and have nothing to be mad about. Danny’s not even looking around. It’s like she’s refusing to look around just in case she may see someone she knows. This scene will look suspicious to anyone, three men, three women and neither Danny nor I are wearing rings. So when we sit at the table, she keeps her eyes pasted on one of our faces. Jasmine looks like she wants to cry and Marlon looks sick. Rena and Matt are the only happy ones at the table. Well, them and me. I’m happy because I just seen Nat and Malcolm’s silhouette which means they’re following us which means I have the control now. I decide to look at the message he sent Danny.
Blair 8:26 pm: Do you need me?
Fuck off. My wife is fine. She hasn’t even looked inside of her purse yet to check her phone. Good. Forget about him tonight Danny.
Matt and Rena start up small talk and since Danny, Jasmine and Marlon refuse to participate in it, I have to. So for thirty whole minutes we talk about the upcoming holiday season and our plans. And now I am fucking exhausted. Shit, why does interaction need to be so tiring? Listening, responding, listening…damn. I go through two drinks to ease my tension whi
le Danny goes through three. She always drinks when she’s stressed. Jasmine hasn’t touched her wine but Marlon keeps downing glass after glass of his. Danny has just been delivered her fourth drink when he starts texting her again. Yeah, he’s nervous. He notices she’s drinking her weight and she’s with me tonight. Not good. I wait a moment while Marlon attempts to join in on the conversation and talk about the upcoming wedding of a friend from college that we all plan on attending. It’s when Marlon, Rena and Matt are talking that I check my phone again.
Blair 9:02 pm: Slow down Red.
I smile. Worried? Do you not see that she isn’t checking her cell phone? Drink up, Red.
“Excuse me.” Jasmine says as she pushes herself from the table and damn near runs away. And I know for a fact, that Malcolm will stop her along the way. So I sit with the others, as they talk about possibly going somewhere for a small Christmas vacation. I mention Hilton Head since Danny looked like she liked it there. That sounds interesting to the others. And then I think about it, Danny and Nicky will be there without Malcolm, because surely Malcolm wouldn’t come anywhere with Danny’s other ‘crew’. That’s where I come in. Danny says nothing as she downs her drink. I turn around to find a passing waitress to order another.
“Thank you.” Danny says to me as the waitress approaches.
“You’re welcome.” I say. “Scotch and coke.” I say to the waitress and then point to Danny.
“I’m sorry,” the waitress says as she cringes her face, “but I’ve been told to cut her off.” What? Everyone at the table looks at the waitress like she’s grown two heads. Rena is on her fourth martini and the rest of us have about a dozen between us. Why the hell is Danny cut off?
“Why?” Matt asks.
“Umm, I was just told to. I’m sorry.”
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