by Adrian White
“Is he okay?” asked Katie. “Yes and no; I wish we were all going home together.”
“So do I,” said Mike, “but this next thing will take at least a couple of weeks to happen. And you should be thousands of miles away; even this dinner is risky.”
“You’ve a hell of a way of dumping a girl,” said Katie. She rested her hand on Mike’s arm. Katie knew it was she who had made the choice.
Bruno returned to the table and Katie pulled away from Mike. They ordered beer and food and sat silently while their table was laid. The waitress went to move Bruno’s model to one side of his place setting, but he stopped her.
“Just leave the knives and forks, can’t you?” he said rudely.
“That thing sure is heavy,” said the waitress. She brought the beers and then left them alone.
“Fucking hell, Bruno,” said Katie. “What’s wrong with you?”
Bruno seemed morose, which was worrying given the amount of cocaine he’d just snorted. Mike tried to make small talk, but it was turning very much into their last supper together.
“You think I’m pretty stupid, don’t you?” Bruno said to Mike. “You think I don’t know what you’re doing here? Hiding behind some scam when it’s obvious you just don’t want to see me any more.”
“Bruno, that’s not – ”
“I wish you had the honesty to at least admit it. And you – ” He turned to Katie. “You with your talk of a fuck in the desert – you were pretty fucking smart to get me out that hotel bedroom.”
“No, I – ”
“Well, fuck you both is what I say.”
He picked up a fork from the table and stabbed it into his cheekbone, just below his eye.
“Bruno!” said Mike.
“Oh Jesus,” said Katie.
Bruno dragged the fork down his cheek and stared, first at Katie and then at Mike. He threw the fork down on the table and pushed away his chair. He picked up the model of the MGM Grand.
“Enjoy your meal,” he said, and left the room.
“Now what?” asked Katie, as the waitress brought their food.
“Do you think I should go after him?” asked Mike.
“You can do whatever the fuck you think is best,” said Katie, “but I’ve had it with him. I’m going to eat my meal and then drive to Phoenix. He’s an adult; he can look after himself.”
“But that’s just it, isn’t it?” said Mike. “He can’t look after himself.”
“He’s got a plane ticket and a passport – if he’s not on the plane, then tough!”
“But how will he get to Phoenix if you don’t take him in the car?”
“It’s time to start letting go,” said Katie. “You knew he was going to be a disaster on his own – well, he’s just started early is all.”
“This is all my fault,” said Mike. “I should never have tried to include him in this trip.”
“You should never have tried to include him – full stop!” said Katie. “The guy’s a total loser and has been since day one. You don’t owe Bruno anything, Mike; you never have done, so stop taking responsibility for his actions.”
This was where their every discussion about Bruno had always ended. Katie concentrated on her food, but there was so much on the plate, it was obscene. She lost her appetite.
“He won’t be able to cope,” said Mike after a while. He pushed his plate to one side.
“You can’t help him Mike,” said Katie, “just like you can’t help me. The best thing you can do is walk away, exactly as you’d planned.”
“Is that really how you feel – about us?” asked Mike.
“I think if you don’t let go then it will end up driving you crazy and making you very, very unhappy. That goes for Bruno too – we’re a pair of hopeless cases that you’re better off without. Go back to Belfast, Mike, and marry your sweetheart; make her happy at least.”
Mike looked away, down to one side of the table.
“I don’t want to live my life without you,” he said.
“I know you don’t,” said Katie, “but you’re going to have to – for your own good.” She stood up. “I’m leaving now, Mike. I think you can pay for the meal, all things considered. And if Bruno turns up, put him in a cab and take the fare out of his earnings.” She thought this was for the best anyway – that way she avoided the journey through the desert with Bruno. “Thank you,” she said, one last time. “For everything.”
Katie walked out the restaurant and didn’t look back. It seemed like the best thing to do.
When she reached the car, she was disappointed to see Bruno asleep in the passenger seat. He cradled the MGM Grand in his arms. Katie could see where the blood had dried on his cheek.
“Bruno,” she said but he didn’t stir. She considered going back to Mike at the restaurant and then decided against it; she had to handle things on her own from now on and this was, after all, part of the original plan. Bruno might sleep the whole way, and the journey to Phoenix could pass off without incident. Once they reached the airport, Bruno could do as he pleased. If he created a scene and they refused to allow him on the plane, then that was nothing to Katie. At least this way she could do Mike the favour of freeing him from Bruno.
Katie opened the car door. Bruno was leaning heavily over towards her and she pushed him away, over to the other side of the car. Bruno’s head rolled on to the passenger door with a thump, but he didn’t wake up. Whatever it was Bruno thought he’d been taking, it certainly wasn’t cocaine – he was out of it. The last thing Katie wanted was for Bruno to need medical assistance, but he was breathing regularly enough and didn’t look to be in any danger. She turned on the engine, put the car in drive and set off for Phoenix. She drove too quickly over a ramp of some sort as she joined the highway, and Bruno’s head jerked forward on to his chest. Katie reached across with her right arm; she pulled at Bruno’s hair so his head rested back between the headrest and the side of the car.
Katie felt easier once she was on the highway. It was a smooth road and there was no reason for Bruno to be disturbed. Although it was dark, the highway was busy enough with traffic, much busier in fact than it had been during the day. Katie felt relatively secure. It was a beautiful car to drive and she could quite easily have travelled much faster in comfort, but she kept to a level 55mph; she didn’t want to attract the attention of the occasional patrol cars she saw pass her by in the opposite direction. Although the air grew noticeably cooler as she drove out into the desert, it was still warm enough to keep the top down. It was a pleasant sensation to be in control of such a large, powerful car and to sense the expanse of desert surrounding her. Earlier in the day, the desert was too hot to enjoy, and Katie was nervous of what lay ahead in Vegas. Now, the job was done and she had the measure of the car; she was unlikely ever to make this journey again, so why not relax and enjoy the drive?
She travelled for two hours before Bruno stirred. Katie looked over and she could see he was having difficulty breathing in that position. She considered reaching over to adjust the way his head was resting, but he opened his eyes. Bruno looked out at the roadside passing him by, and then across at Katie.
“Where are we?”
“Just outside Phoenix,” said Katie. They still had a good distance to go but she wanted Bruno sedate and quiet. “I’ll give you a shout when we’re almost there, if you like.”
“Mike,” he said. Bruno seemed to be having trouble coming round. He looked at the model that he cradled in his arms and lifted it on to the top of the dashboard. He wiped some dribble from the side of his mouth.
“Mike’s back in Vegas,” said Katie. “You were asleep in the car when I came out the restaurant, and we couldn’t wake you. What were you taking to knock you out like that?”
“Not what I thought I was taking,” said Bruno, “that’s for sure. I feel like shit.”
“There’s a bottle of water behind your seat. You might wash your face too, while you’re at it.”
Bruno adjusted
the rear-view mirror to look at his face, and closed his eyes when he saw what he’d done to himself.
“Fucking idiot,” he said, and shook his head.
“You said it,” said Katie.
Bruno reached for the bottle of water, took a few mouthfuls and then poured some into his cupped hand. He splashed it across the side of his face and winced at the pain. The wound didn’t look much better for being cleaned.
“I hope they let you on the plane looking like that,” said Katie.
“I’m not getting on the plane,” said Bruno.
“So what do you intend to do,” asked Katie, “stay here forever?”
“There’s nothing back in Manchester for me,” said Bruno. “Once the money comes through from Mike, I reckon I can start a new life here.”
“They have immigration laws, Bruno. They know you’re in the country and when they find you, they’ll throw you out the country.”
“I’m not going back to Manchester,” said Bruno.
“Fine,” said Katie, “whatever you say, but I’m driving to the airport and returning this car. I’m not going to leave any loose ends for them to trace me back to Mike.”
“You’re a fucking ruthless bitch, aren’t you?” said Bruno. “Now you have your money, you just dump Mike and never see him again – is that it?”
“Don’t start, Bruno; you know that was what we agreed. If you didn’t like the plan, you shouldn’t have agreed to come.”
“Like I had a choice,” said Bruno. He readjusted the mirror and Katie reached up to correct her rear-view vision. Bruno touched her cheek with his fingertips.
“When are we stopping?” he asked.
“We’re not stopping,” said Katie. “I told you – we’re almost there.”
“I mean when are we stopping to have sex?”
“You’re joking, aren’t you?” said Katie, but already she was scared.
“You promised,” said Bruno. “It was part of the plan – you can’t go back on it now.”
“Yes,” said Katie, “but that was before you stabbed yourself with a fork and nearly gouged your eye out. Besides, we’ve passed by where I was thinking of stopping. We’re almost in Phoenix now; there’s nowhere here suitable to pull over.”
“We could do it in the car,” said Bruno. “Switch to Cruise Control – why aren’t you using Cruise Control anyway if you’re going to stick to the one speed? Come on Katie, let’s fuck.”
Katie drove on. She could see where the sky was bright from the lights of Phoenix, but they were still some distance away. If she just drove on there was very little Bruno could do. But then he reached over and put his hand on her thigh and she froze. She felt as though the blood in her head was blocking her ears and her eyes too, somehow; she was blind with anger. She was unable to speak; she couldn’t even tell Bruno to take away his hand. No one had ever touched Katie there and now this, this . . . thing that she didn’t even understand how it was a part of her life – this thing was touching her. Bruno moved his hand up and around Katie’s thigh and she thought she was going to be sick. She was conscious of the car travelling at speed, and of the lines on the road moving across the car, and the rougher sound and feel of the gravel as the car veered off the road.
“Whoa!” laughed Bruno, and he let go of Katie’s thigh to grab the wheel. “Slow down,” he said, and tried to keep the car from leaving the highway completely.
Katie was aware of Bruno laughing, but wasn’t aware of what he was saying.
Bruno tried to lift Katie’s foot off the pedal with his left hand and guide the wheel with his right hand. Each time he looked down at her feet, he lost any sense of direction for the car. “Fucking brake, can’t you?” he laughed, and tried to push down the brake pedal with his hand.
Katie let go of the wheel and looked down at the top of Bruno’s head. She reached over to the dashboard and picked up the metal model of the MGM Grand. She brought it down heavily on the back of Bruno’s neck. It made a dull thump it was so heavy. Bruno slumped forward and down. The car shook over the rougher terrain and leaned at such an acute angle that it was in danger of tipping over. Still holding the model, Katie grabbed hold of the wheel again and guided the car on to level ground. She couldn’t get her feet to the brake pedal because Bruno’s head and upper body were between her legs, but the car gradually slowed down. Twice Katie had to turn sharply to avoid huge boulders that appeared in the bright headlights, and then flashed on by. The freakishly large cacti reared up like cartoon jokes – like silent observers – before disappearing again into the desert night. When the car came to a stop, Katie switched off the engine and turned off the lights. She closed her eyes and waited.
It was the weight of the model in her hand that brought Katie around. She replaced it on the dashboard. She let her eyes become accustomed to the darkness; she could have switched on the headlights again, but they only illuminated the immediate direction in which they were pointing and made the rest of the night seem doubly dark. This way she could at least get a feel for where she was, without attracting the attention of the traffic she saw passing by on the highway. Katie reached down and felt the back of Bruno’s head, expecting it to be a sticky mess, but it was nothing but still – still and heavy. She pulled at Bruno’s hair but couldn’t get his body out from around her feet. She managed to free her own legs and stepped out the car on to the rough ground of open desert. Once she was standing, Katie could reach in and grab Bruno properly by the shoulders. She lifted him first on to her own seat and then pushed him upright back into the passenger seat. She rested and listened for Bruno’s breathing, and tried to think what best to do.
She could drive back to the highway, but she couldn’t ask for help – there’d be too many questions. Or drive on to Phoenix, and decide what to do once she reached the airport? There’d be more questions in Phoenix, and delays, and Katie’s fate would depend on Bruno pulling through. She could empty him out the car and dump him here in the desert – she didn’t care if he lived or died; he was nothing to her now. Katie didn’t really know how hard she’d hit him. She knew she had to feel for a pulse to be sure, but she didn’t want to know what the lack of a pulse would tell her.
She walked around the car and opened the passenger door. She pulled Bruno from the car to the ground – much harder than she thought because his feet got jammed between the seat and the doorframe. She grabbed him under the arms and pulled him away from the car towards a large boulder shape she could make out behind her. She dropped him by the boulder and stood upright to get her bearings. From the lights of the occasional passing car and truck, Katie figured out that the highway curved gradually around her present position. She pulled Bruno round to the blind side of the boulder and rolled him in tight beneath an overhang. She peered into the darkness behind her and could sense nothing but open desert, but of course, morning might come and there’d be a huge diner there or anything. The huge sky was full of stars, but they gave off little or no light to help Katie see into the night.
She reached into Bruno’s pockets, looking for his ticket and passport, but she found nothing – perhaps they were still in his bag, or in the glove compartment of the car? Katie came back from around the boulder and for a second she panicked as she thought she’d lost her sight of the car but then she made it out over to her right. She walked over and reached into the glove compartment – nothing there. She walked back to the boot of the car and went through Bruno’s bag – nothing. What had he done with them? Sold them, or swapped them for drugs?
Katie stood by the car thinking. So long as there was no identification on Bruno, there was nothing to tie him to her. She wanted to be safe in Manchester before any connection was made between them. She could easily dispose of his bags when she came to a suitable spot – hell, she could throw them out in the desert and no one would care. His passport was a different matter but whatever he’d done with it, Katie would be long gone before anyone came looking. She was conscious of the time – if she stayed her
e much longer she’d be cutting it fine for her flight. She slammed down the boot of the car and walked around to the driver’s door. She saw the model of the MGM Grand still on the dashboard and reached across to grab it. She walked back to the far side of the boulder, stumbling twice on the smaller rocks and stones beneath her feet. She heard Bruno move on the desert floor.
“Fucking hell, Katie,” he said, “what did you do?”
Katie leant in to where Bruno was lying beneath the boulder. She swung the model high above her and crashed it down on to Bruno’s head.
“You don’t ever touch me there,” she said. “Do you hear me?” She swung and hit him again. “Never!”
Bruno’s leg twitched for a second and then he was still, but Katie hit him again. She hit him again and again and again.
Part 3
Margaret Maguire lay in bed and listened and waited for the sound of the front door to be closed. Once she knew she was alone in the house, she pushed herself up into a sitting position and picked up the cup of tea her husband Mike had made before leaving. It was six-thirty in the morning.
“I’ll be home between eight and nine this evening,” said Mike.
“Will you have eaten?” She spoke without opening her eyes, sleepily, and into her pillow.
“I’ll eat on the plane.”
“Will that be enough for you?”
“Possibly not,” said Mike, “but I’ll grab something else if I need to when I get home – don’t wait for me.”
“I’ll see,” said Margaret. “How I feel at the time, I mean.” Her alternative was to eat alone. “Have a good day.”
It was too early for her to be drinking tea but Mike liked to bring her a drink in the morning, regardless of the time he was leaving. She took a sip and wrapped her hands around the cup, enjoying the heat through her fingers. She wondered what Mike might be doing. She knew he was going to Dublin but he hadn’t told Margaret why, only saying that he was following up on a business idea. How many times had she heard that? She’d given up trying to pin him down when it came to business ideas. Mike explained that if he talked about it too soon it might never come off; you had to let the idea grow, to test it privately before opening it up to public scrutiny. By public, he meant Margaret. She didn’t mind so long as he provided for her and the family, and he’d certainly always done that. She knew Mike was a restless soul when it came to business; once he’d achieved something, he had to move on and find another challenge.