Katherine stood, gathered Matt into her arms and poured him some water. She kissed him on the cheek. “Did you have another bad dream?"
“Uh huh,” he whispered. “Can I sit with Mr. Randall?"
What should she do about this growing attachment Matt continued to develop for Jared? If he thought he could get to the mother through the son, he'd better think again. She passed Matt to Jared, and he held Matt on his lap. She guessed it wouldn't hurt for them to hang around some until she and Matt returned to Sugar Land after Christmas.
“How about a bowl of chocolate mint ice cream, pal? I bet your mother has buckets of it stashed away."
“You know, I do have a tiny bit in the freezer.” Katherine prepared a double-decker serving for everyone, sat down at the table and watched. They remained silent except for an occasional spoon clanging against a bowl. Although they had just returned from a huge dinner a few hours ago, Matt and Jared inhaled their helpings. Men! And boys. Matt finished and looked sticky with ice cream puddles on his mouth, hands and arms. She took a wet rag and cleaned him up, smiling down at his sleepy face. “Time for you to go back to bed, young man."
“Can Mr. Randall tuck me in?"
Before Katherine could answer, Jared lifted her son into his arms and headed toward the stairs. She could hear Matt whispering as they went, “Will you check under my bed? There's a boogey man hiding there."
Jared turned and winked at Katherine. “I'll be back. Matt and me gotta seek and destroy a boogey man, so he can't ever come back and scare us."
Ten minutes later, and Katherine wondering at the banging she had heard, Jared sauntered back into the kitchen. “We had to exorcise the closets, too."
She looked into his penetrating blue eyes. That familiar pull drew her like a warm, familiar fire on a cold night. “Thanks for doing that for Matt, and please, tell me how you did it-he thinks I don't know how to find them all. It must be a guy thing."
“Glad to.” He explained using the hammer to bang on the bed and doorframes of his room. “See the bangs hurt the boogeyman's ears and he won't want to come back to an unwelcome place. Now for another problem, at the birthday party, Matt said he still wants to go horseback riding. I didn't want to disappoint him, so I told him spending time with his dad wouldn't stop him from going. I hope you don't mind. Paul's welcome to come, too."
She pictured Paul sneezing and galloping his way across open fields one day, parked in the doctor's office the next. She fought back a grin. “Paul's allergic to most animals. That's why Matt couldn't have the puppy he saw in a pet store."
“Did he ever get a puppy?"
She shook her head, feeling ashamed she hadn't remembered he'd wanted one until now. “Matt was two-years old. At that age, they seem to want everything they see, and he wanted this beautiful collie pup. He cried when Paul said no, and Matt forgot about it ten minutes after we left the store."
A devilish grin slowly grew on his mouth.
The same mischievous smile spread across her face. She laughed at the thought that leaped into her mind. “We can't give a puppy to Matt for Christmas. It wouldn't be fair to Paul."
“Why not? You're divorced, so Paul doesn't have to even get around the animal."
“But what if Matt wants to take the puppy with him when he visits his dad?” So many ‘What ifs’ hopped around her mind like hatching fleas. What if the puppy hairs on Matt bothered his dad?
Jared lifted his hands in surrender. “I didn't say I had all the answers. I'm giving you some reasons for doing it. Matt's almost six, I'm sure he'd appreciate the puppy even more now. It would teach him responsibility.” He winked. “Sure is tempting."
“Yes, but I better think about it some more."
He snapped his fingers. “I got it. When we go horseback riding, we could find out if Matt wants a puppy."
“Okay, I'll go that far, but I still need to think about it.” Conspiring with him like this would only increase her sense of girlishness whenever Jared was around. But she wasn't a girl anymore. The woman in her knew that. Despite her attempts to stifle it, she yawned.
Tugging her hand, he stood and headed for the door. She followed close behind him. He turned and looked down at her. “Your eyelids are drooping at half-mast, friend."
Without warning, he lowered his head and kissed her cheek. A butterfly kiss intended from one friend to another, but her breath caught. It had been too long since she'd felt anything for a man and she was in trouble, monumental trouble, or would that be ‘manument’ trouble, particularly around this ‘friend'. She almost sighed out loud. Standing half a foot away from him, her body swayed slightly toward him, and he pulled her up against his chest. His body heat pulsed into hers, and he folded his arms around her, firmly holding her in his warm embrace. Erotic visions of them lying between sheets danced through her mind.
If she had any illusions about what being friends with Jared would mean, they died with that innocent kiss. And she didn't believe any such thing as a harmless affair existed. Someone always got hurt. Crushed emotionally. That someone would be her, if she let it happen.
Handing his coat and hammer to him, she reminded herself that he wasn't a forever man, only a one-night-stand man. Her pride wouldn't let her give into that sexual pull. Making love meant more to her than a cheap, casual affair.
He stepped toward her. His breath lightly fanned her hair. “Sleep well, Katherine,” he murmured, releasing her.
* * * *
At midnight, Jared walked home in the dark, his mind reeling. He could kick himself clear across Texas. Why had he gone to see her?
Hell. He swore he'd never get involved with another divorced woman. Not after what happened with Shannon. Then he met Katherine, and her son Matt-so much like himself-and he'd almost weakened, almost forgotten lessons learned and burned so deep in his heart he would never be free from the pain again.
The minute Katherine's ex stepped back into the picture on that dance floor, Jared should have said, “Adios, been there, done that,” and gotten the hell out of Dodge, for his own sanity.
He didn't want to hear Paul had claimed he'd changed.
He'd bet one of his big toes Paul had been the first man to make love to Katherine. And the last. But Jared had heard her faint gasp tonight and felt her lean toward him when he kissed her cheek, and friendship wasn't what he felt when he held her. Not by a long shot.
She was lonely and it showed. Couple that information with her desire to have Paul back in their son's life, giving Matt the love and attention he needed from his father, and it added up to one thing. Katherine remarrying Paul-and soon.
You're a fool-wanting someone you'll never have. Whoa, did he really want her? Hell yes, else why was he out here talking to himself.
Deep inside he wished things were different.
Chapter Seven
“You have every right to say I told you so. Paul turned out to be self-centered, and I made a mistake marrying him.” Katherine glanced at her mother, who sat beside her on the living room couch the next morning. “You tried to warn me, but I wouldn't listen."
Her mother's eyes glistened with compassion and concern. “You won't hear it from me. I'd never gloat over your getting hurt. I hoped you'd prove me wrong.” She took a deep breath and exhaled. “I really did."
“I should have told you the truth a long time ago. Jared suggested I tell you right away."
Katherine fingered one of the cuffs on her dress. Paul had taken Matt to Sunday School after breakfast, giving the ‘ladies’ a chance to clean up the kitchen and finish getting ready for church. It also gave her time to sit quietly with her mother and finally explain the events leading up to the divorce.
Her mother's hazel eyes sought Katherine's. “When did you discuss Paul's infidelity with Jared?"
The way her mother worded the question put Katherine on the defensive. It hadn't happened like that. She grabbed a cushion from the couch and hugged it on her lap. “He dropped by late last night, worried about
Paul being in the house."
Her mother's mouth rounded. “Really? He felt worried?"
Heat flushed Katherine's face and neck. “We talked in the kitchen. Matt came down and we ate ice cream. Jared put Matt back to bed and left. That's all there was to it."
Well, almost, if she didn't count a horseback ride they planned for Matt and an innocent kiss on the cheek that made her want more.
Katherine looked away, but felt her mother's scrutiny.
“I never meant to embarrass you last night. That's the gospel truth."
“I know,” she said, reaching over to pat her mother's arm.
Her mother angled herself on the couch to face Katherine. “If you agreed to let Paul stay here based on my big mouth, forget it."
“I didn't. I let him stay for Matt. I found out last night that you were right. Paul wants me back.” She blushed.
“If you don't want to encourage him, kick him out. He can still come and see Matt all he wants."
“I already did,” she confessed.
“Smart girl. Want to tell me what changed your mind?"
Katherine shook her head.
“I'm so proud of you,” her mother said.
“Proud?” Katherine had to swallow the lump of hurt in her throat before she could get anything else out. The last thing she felt was proud; she'd failed miserably at her marriage. Her self-esteem had dropped below non-existent. And now her mother was saying she was proud? “But I lied to you and Dad for years."
“Katherine, we're talking woman to woman. I understand why you found it necessary to lie. You did it for love, at a time when you thought we had enough of a burden to bear.” She patted Katherine's hand. “I'm sorry you carried your pain alone for so long, but I'm glad we're sharing it now."
They sat in a companionable silence for a moment, when her mother suddenly straightened. Looking up, Katherine saw her lips pressed inward, an angry glint in her eye. “Mom?"
“The lying rat. I wish I could have seen The Salvation Army load your bedroom set and every stitch of Paul's clothes. There's nothing quite as sweet as a woman giving a low-down cheater a taste of well deserved revenge."
Katherine's eyebrows shot up. “Dad?"
A blush rode up her mother's neck. “Oh, heavens, no. That wasn't coming from personal experience. My beautician told me how much pure pleasure she got from seeing a load of horse manure she'd bought delivered and dumped in her husband's Lexus. She showed me a picture she took when he came to pick up the car.” Her mother chuckled. “I believe she said, ‘Have at it,’ and handed him a shovel with a big red bow tied to the handle."
Wish I'd thought of that. Tightening her headband, Katherine pushed a stray curl away from her face. “When my business flight got cancelled, and I walked into our bedroom and heard the two of them moaning under the covers like cats in heat, I lost it. After they dressed, Paul threw some things in a suitcase, and they drove away without saying a word."
“Leaving you to fume?"
She clenched her hand and hit the cushion with a thud. “I wanted to burn every damn thing he left, but the practical side of me kept saying no. Somehow, it seemed more fitting for people on the streets to have Paul's impeccable designer clothes."
“Sounds fair. Bet he was fit to be hog tied when he came back."
“He stayed gone a week.” The coward. She took a deep breath and threw the cushion on the couch. “When he returned, he accused me of lying about giving his things away. He barged into the house and searched it from top to bottom. In his haste to leave, he left his favorite watch in the bureau."
Katherine sighed and went on. “I handed him my divorce attorney's business card. He said some pretty nasty things before he stormed out. The rest you already know."
Her mother raised one brow. “What nasty things?"
A tear rolled down Katherine's cheek, remembering the dirty remark he made about the loss of her virginity to him. “He said he never loved me, and only married me to please his parents."
Her mother grabbed the box of tissues from the table. After taking one she placed it beside them. Taking one out, she held it hesitantly under Katherine's streaming nose, her words gentle. “I hate to see you hurt. I'm not defending the two-timer, but are you sure it wasn't his anger slashing you?"
Taking the tissue from her mother, she wiped her nose and shook her head. “I remember the financial analysis and investment strategy I prepared for his family long before I met Paul. How impressed his parents were with my recommendations as their investment counselor. Paul said his parents pushed him into dating me. They didn't approve of the women he dated and hoped his marrying me would settle him down. We would make a good match according to his parents. He'd do anything to please them. Boy, was I a fool. Plain and simple."
Her mother's lips pursed. “He was the fool, not you. You're never a fool for loving someone."
She didn't agree. Falling for the first man she felt sexually attracted to made her the fool. He'd used her and betrayed her. Becoming another notch on Jared's bedpost would push her to the status of a first class fool. Hell, she'd deserve a trophy. She shuddered and looked at her mother. “The only good thing to come out of my marriage is Matt. I'll never regret having him."
Her mother smiled.
“At least I've learned to play it safe from now on."
A bubbling laugh erupted from her mother. “Safe? You have two males to contend with-and the way I see it, retreating from either one of them is no longer an option."
Katherine's brows narrowed. “You're joking."
“Afraid not. You said yourself Paul's determined to prove he's changed and get his family back. If he has changed, you'll be forever joined at the hip because of Matt. Paul will always be around."
She reached over and touched Katherine's face. “No matter what, even if he hasn't changed, you have to let go of your rotten past-for yourself, Katherine. All this animosity hurts you-not him."
“I know,” she whispered.
She thought about the one question her mother had neglected to ask. Why had Paul suddenly shown up now to declare his love? A niggling little voice kept asking, "What's he really after?” She shook her head, amazed at herself. Maybe he really did want her back. Maybe it was her own lack of self-esteem making her doubt his motives. That, or two years of pent-up anger and hurt.
She wiped her nose one last time and balled the tissue in her palm, offering her mother a shaky smile. “Why did you invite him to stay at the house?"
Her mother coughed. “At the time, I thought you still loved the creep. I knew he wouldn't leave you alone, whether he was here, or on the moon. You knew the minute he walked onto the dance floor you'd have to stand up to him this Christmas-because of Matt. No hiding."
She frowned and nodded. “All right. I agree. You said I had to contend with two men. Who's the second man?"
“Jared, of course,” her mother replied, smiling mischievously
Katherine let out an exasperated breath. She stared at her mother in disbelief.
“Don't look at me like that. You had to contend with Jared the minute Paul returned and set foot in this house."
The clock chimed and her mother turned to look at it. “Gracious, if we don't head to church, we'll be late. How do you like my new outfit?"
Katherine bit down on her impatience. She reluctantly glanced at her mother's rust colored dress and jacket with a bright Christmas wreath pin perched on the lapel. The familiar strand of pearls, a gift from her groom on their wedding day, hung loosely around her neck. “It's very elegant."
“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I made all the phone calls Saturday, while you and Matt shopped at the mall. People are all set for our tree-trimming party Tuesday."
They stood and Katherine grabbed their purses on the way out the door. If her mother thought she could change the subject indefinitely, she better think again. “What has Paul got to do with Jared?"
Her mother reached for the doorknob, turned and paused. “Don't yo
u know? I thought you'd have figured out that one infallible weakness of Jared after him rescuing you."
She squinted and angled her head to the side. “What are you talking about?"
“You know Mrs. Taylor called Jared to get you off that roof because she's a matchmaker, worse than me."
Katherine stared. “Jared's infallible weakness is that Mrs. Taylor is a matchmaker?"
Her mother laughed. “No. It's that he's a savior."
Katherine's face fell. “So now he's Jesus-like, I'd never have guess that one, Mom."
Now the smile stretched from end to end. “Not of the world, Katherine. Of you."
“What?"
“There are some kinds of men-"
“I know about those kinds,” she grumbled, wrenching open the door and waiting for her mother to pass through.
“You know about men like Paul, Katherine. You know nothing about a man like Jared. He's the kind of man who, if he thinks you're in danger, well-he'll be there. It's almost a Superman complex."
Great! First he's John Wayne, next he'd Romeo, now Superman. Why don't we start him in therapy with a male Sybil complex, or me for even thinking like this.
“Jared and I are friends. I'll talk to him and make sure he understands that I don't need or want his help."
“You do that, dear.” Her mother gave her an angelic look of innocence. “And good luck."
* * * *
“I hope you didn't mind my taking Matt to lunch after church instead of coming here and eating with you and Grace,” Paul said. He shrugged out of his jacket, placed it on the back of a chair and sat on the oak barstool at the kitchen counter. “We had a good time at the pizza parlor. Matt enjoyed playing games."
Katherine dried the last dish and put it away. She couldn't imagine impeccable Paul, who now wore a small greasy palm print on his left sleeve, really enjoying himself in the midst of kid-induced chaos. But she wanted to encourage him to spend time with Matt. “I'm glad the two of you went out. Matt needs a day with his father every once in awhile."
The Mistletoe Affair Page 9