by Linda Ford
Gil rode up on horseback and spoke to Judith. “I’ll be out scouting today.” He leaned over to give her a kiss. Judith held Anna up for a kiss from Gil.
Mary Mae could ride beside Judith. But before she took a step that direction, Warren climbed up and took the reins. It was his wagon, so of course he would drive it. Hadn’t he been doing so since they left Independence, even after Judith and Gil married as Gil’s duties took him away from the wagon train?
“I’ll walk,” she said to no one in particular.
Polly bounced along beside her for a few minutes, then dropped back to join the teamsters. The camp dog followed her. Polly knew all of them, but stopped at Frenchie’s side. The big man had previously had two robbers under his watch, but the pair had been left at Fort Mann.
Polly spoke earnestly to Frenchie and then the two of them looked toward Mary Mae. He roared with laughter, then lifted Polly to his shoulders and let her ride. He laughed again.
Mary Mae closed her eyes and marched forward. What would she do if Polly took it in her mind to try and match up Mary Mae with one of the teamsters?
“Poor Mary Mae,” Warren said to his sister Judith who rode beside him. Little Anna, the child she’d rescued when her parents died, played at their feet.
“I agree. It seems Polly has decided it isn’t fair for Mary Mae to be the only single woman on the wagon train.” Judith reached toward Anna. “Not in your mouth.”
The child obediently pulled the slobbery rock from her mouth.
Warren watched the little girl, a long loneliness sucking at his innards. Anna was almost the same age as Reggie had been. Many nights he’d come in from work so late the little guy was already asleep. But on the occasions when Reggie was still up or Warren went in earlier, he had enjoyed playing with his son. “I never spent as much time with Reggie as you and Luke do with Anna.”
Judith leaned into his arm. “Our circumstances force us to be together, not that any of us mind. Your situation was different. I miss Reggie, too, you know.” She sat up, her gaze straight ahead. “I never told you that, did I? Just like I never told anyone how much I miss Dodi.” She squeezed his arm.
“Me too.” He glanced at the clouds scuttling across the sky, growing heavier and darker with every passing mile. “I hope the rain holds off.” He did not voice his concern about the possibility of snow.
“I pray every day we will reach Bent’s Fort before winter strikes us.”
“Me too.”
They settled into contented silence. His gaze went often to the solitary figure walking beside the wagons. Polly had climbed into the back of Sam’s wagon, but Mary Mae hadn’t joined her. Perhaps she didn’t want Polly’s company at the moment and none of the other women had joined Mary Mae yet. He had half a mind to jump down and walk with her simply to assure her that—
What did he think he could do for her besides tell her he understood how a person might not want to get married? But as the morning progressed and she continued to walk, he grew concerned.
“Do you think she plans to walk the rest of the way to Bent’s Fort?”
Judith leaned past him to see Mary Mae walking fifty yards to the side and a distance behind them. She chuckled. “I expect she welcomes the peace and quiet. It’s not like anyone but Polly was thinking she should get married. I sure never thought I would until—” She grinned at him. “Until you and Luke ordered Gil to marry me. Even then I thought we were only doing it to appease the both of you. And so we could keep little Anna.”
Warren stuck out his chest to reveal his pride. “We did the right thing by you, didn’t we?” Though, at the time, he had only been concerned about her reputation. His gaze went again toward Mary Mae. Was she lagging farther and farther behind? Was she weary? “Any reason she can’t ride with us?”
“Who?” Judith’s gaze followed the direction he looked. “Mary Mae? She can certainly ride with us if she wants, but I’m not sure she would agree at this point. I have an idea. After nooning, I’ll lie in the back with Anna so she can have a sleep. Mary Mae can ride on the seat.”
“Good plan.” No reason the idea should please him so much except he felt badly that she had been embarrassed by Polly’s probing questions.
“If you stop now, I’ll get down with Anna and walk with her.”
He reined in and allowed her to climb off the wagon. Luke let Donna Grace down at the same time, their tiny baby swaddled in front of her with some sort of sling. The three ladies walked together. Mary Mae caught Anna’s hand on one side, Judith on the other, and they swung the little girl on each step.
That was better, Warren told himself. Her sister and his were keeping her company.
The clouds grew heavier, but the rain held off as they stopped for the noon meal. He took care of the mules and jogged back to check on the freight wagons that he and Luke owned. Assuring himself that all was well, he hurried back to the camp. The noon meal was always cold, eaten quickly. The men and animals rested for a short time and then the animals were returned to harness.
“Mary Mae,” Judith called. “Why don’t you ride with us?”
Mary Mae hesitated, glancing at Warren and then toward the wagon.
He edged close enough to murmur for her ears only. “I promise not to bite.”
She blinked and then laughed. “Good to know.” She turned to answer Judith. “Thank you, I will.”
Warren held out his hand to help her aboard. Judith climbed in the back with Anna. “This little one needs a nap.”
Mary Mae’s eyebrows rose. She opened her mouth, closed it again.
He knew she had expected the three of them to crowd together on the seat. But she said nothing, folded her hands together and faced forward as he joined her on the hard bench.
He flicked the reins and they continued down the trail.
In the back, Judith hummed a lullaby. At his side, Mary Mae sat with her backbone so stiff he could have used it for a straight edge. He tried to think of a way to make her relax. Before he came up with something, his attention was drawn to the darkening sky.
“Looks like a storm coming.”
She nodded. “Sure hope it isn’t like some we’ve already endured.” She shuddered. “I couldn’t decide if we were going to drown or be blown away. And none of that was as bad as the lightening.” Her voice lowered. “And the fire.”
She meant the lightning that had struck one of Gil’s wagon, setting it on fire. A second wagon of his also burned as the flames spread. “It could have been worse.”
“Thank the good Lord it wasn’t. I don’t know if I ever prayed so hard before. At least, not for a long time.” Her voice crackled.
“Same here.” Was it an easy life that made urgent prayers unnecessary for her, or was it disappointment that made her stop praying, as was the case for him? He’d prayed for the lives of Gina and Reggie. But God hadn’t seen fit to grant his petition. Not that he deserved it.
The wind picked up, tugging at his hat. He jammed it harder to his head.
She tied the ribbons of her bonnet tighter to keep it in place.
“It’s getting cold. Do you have a shawl with you?”
Judith edged forward and handed her one. “I’m glad to be in the back where I stand a chance of being warm and dry. Mary Mae, you’re welcome to join me.”
Mary Mae looked about. “Thanks, but I think I’ll sit here where I can keep an eye on the storm.”
Warren couldn’t say why her answer pleased him. It wasn’t that he needed the company. He did wonder if she, like him, enjoyed the thrill of watching a storm approach, trying to guess what it would do.
Buck rode up, pausing to speak to Warren. “Don’t suppose there’s any hope we can outrun it.”
Warren knew the question didn’t require an answer, but he shook his head anyway. “Nope. Don’t think so.”
“Circle the wagons. Batten down everything that could blow away.” Buck rode down the line, guiding the wagons into a circle. The men jumped to the ground a
nd secured everything tightly.
“Get in the back.” Warren donned his slicker and helped Mary Mae into the back, and then hurried to take care of animals and tie down anything that was loose.
He had tied his wagon to the Clark’s on one side and the reverend’s on the other. Luke and Sam hurried to do the same, chaining their wagons together. The wind tore at them, threatening to overturn the wagons, roaring like a maddened animal. And then the rain slashed down, cold and stinging.
Judith held open the back flap. “Get in before you drown.”
He didn’t need a second invitation and climbed in beside her. But he’d forgotten that Mary Mae was also in the back.
“I’ll find another place.” Sam would have room.
Judith pulled the flaps tight and secured the ties. “Too late.”
Mary Mae came him an innocent smile. “I won’t bite.”
Amused at the way she copied his comment from the morning, he laughed. “I’ll try to rein myself in as well.” He sat down at the tailgate, pulling his legs to his chest. The two women sat shoulder to shoulder at the front of the wagon and little Anna sat in the middle babbling about something.
Judith laughed. “She’s pleased to have mama and an uncle and aunt to keep her company.”
“Papa?” she said.
Judith’s gaze went to the back. Warren knew she wished she could see much farther, right to Gil and bring him to her. Distractedly, she answered Anna’s question. “Papa is out there somewhere.”
“He will have found shelter. He’s well used to life on the trail.” Warren knew his reassurance was full of holes. Life on the trail was challenging and no respecter of persons. Even smart, trail-wise people could run into trouble.
Judith sighed. “I know, and I try and reassure myself with that knowledge but I have to say I would feel a whole lot better if he was here with us.”
Mary Mae squeezed Judith’s hand. “He’ll be safe and that’s all that matters.”
Judith’s words about wishing Gil was there brought regrets to Warren’s mind. How many times had Gina complained that she wanted him home more, that she didn’t like being alone, that she was afraid? How often had she said she needed a man who would be with her?
The idea made him squint as he looked at Mary Mae who had said she didn’t need a man.
“Something wrong?” she asked.
He shifted his attention to the trunk behind Anna. “Sorry. I was lost in thought.”
“Do we need to send out someone to help you find your way home?”
Judith was the first to realize Mary Mae had made a little joke at his expense and she laughed. He joined in.
“No matter how far my thoughts take me, I always come back.”
Judith nudged Mary Mae. “It’s the food that calls him home.”
With a start of guilt, he realized it was true. Why hadn’t he let his love and care bring him home more often?
Outside, the mules brayed a protest.
Warren reached for his rifle where he’d laid it, never going far without it, and opened the back flap enough he could peer out.
A shadowed man on horseback appeared in the curtain of rain. He recognized the hunched figure of the scout. “It’s Gil,” he said, over his shoulder.
Judith joined him at the opening and called to her husband. “Come in out of the rain.”
“I’m too wet. I’ll hunker down under the wagon until this passes.”
Judith slumped back.
“I can leave, if that would help,” Warren said.
“Me too.” Mary Mae was on her feet.
“No, he’s right. The storm will soon pass.”
Warren studied the sky, though he could see nothing but the heavy rain.
Mary Mae leaned close so she could see out the flap. “It’s fogging down. I don’t see any break in sight.” She withdrew. “I can go to Donna Grace’s wagon. She’s my sister; she has to let me in.” Her droll tone startled Warren and he laughed.
“Guess I could say the same. Luke’s my brother. He has to let me in.”
Their gazes met and they grinned.
“You’re both staying here until the rain stops,” Judith said.
Mary Mae drew in a long breath and pressed the back of her hand to her forehead. “It will be such an ordeal.”
Warren narrowed his eyes. “To have to share the space with me or… ” His gaze went to Judith and he lowered his voice to a hoarse whisper. “Is it my sister that will cause the strain?”
Judith laughed and threw a balled up sock at him. “Everyone knows it’s you.”
He pressed his hand to his chest. “You’ve cut me to the quick.”
Mary Mae laughed, the sound driving away the darkness of the rain.
“What’s so funny?” Gil called from somewhere nearby, his voice almost drowned out by the sound of the wind and rain. “I feel like I’m missing out on all the fun.”
“Brothers can be a real annoyance.” Judith raised her voice to make sure Gil heard.
Warren raised his voice too. “She loves every minute of it. She wouldn’t trade either of her brothers for all the gold in California.” He lowered his voice. “Would you?”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
Mary Mae had turned back to peeking out the back flap. He could see her profile enough to know she no longer smiled.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
She flashed a smile at him, one that didn’t reach her eyes. “No, it’s just nice to see how loyal you and Luke are to Judith.”
He wondered at the tightness in her words and guessed there was a whole lot of history behind them. “Why wouldn’t we be?”
“It’s nice, that’s all.”
He watched her several more seconds. She held his gaze without blinking. Why did he get the idea she meant something more? Or even referred to something else entirely?
He was getting far too fanciful. A truth that bothered him. It must be because Mary Mae had been on the trail with him since Independence and had become his sister-in-law. He’d always been protective of his sisters. Or rather, his sister. He’d failed to protect Dodi, but it seemed he felt some concern over Mary Mae. Maybe treating her like a sister would help to atone for his failure with Dodi, Gina, and Reggie.
How hard could it be to continue seeing her as a sister-in-law and nothing more?
3
Mary Mae would not blink before Warren’s steady gaze. He had no way of knowing that she found his loyalty to Judith appealing and yet, it filled her with a sad emptiness. She had never felt important enough to her pa, or Randolph, or even her grandparents to feel they would put her above their own interests. She held back a snort. Randolph had certainly not. Would he be satisfied if he found gold? If that’s what it took to satisfy him, then where did she belong?
She knew the answer. He had forgotten her in search of gold.
Pa, well he seemed to seek his own way without regard for his daughters, and her Clark grandparents had been elderly and passed away last year. Grandfather Ramos had always been more interested in shaping the girls into Spanish ladies than accepting them as they were, or caring about what they needed.
Judith spoke to Anna, drawing Mary Mae’s attention away from staring at Warren and searching her thoughts. She returned to Judith’s side. The inside of the canvas-covered wagon filled with damp, cold air. “I wonder how long this rain will last.” They’d had several cold, wet camps and she found them most uncomfortable.
Gil must be close by, perhaps hunkered under the wagon, for he called out. “It’s already letting up.”
Mary Mae tipped her head toward the sound of the rain. “Still pelting down.”
“Just wait,” Gil called.
Her eyebrows rose and she met Warren’s gaze, and said, “Don’t think I’ll hold my breath.”
He chuckled. “Would hate to see your face get dark from lack of oxygen.” He clamped his lips together, puffed out his cheeks and widened his eyes.
She laughed
. It was silly, but somehow she enjoyed the lightheartedness of the moment.
“Listen,” Gil called. “Hear that?”
Mary Mae’s gaze returned to Warren as they listened.
“I hear someone tossing wood together. Gil, are you building a fire?” Mary Mae grinned at the thought of hot food.
Warren sprang to the back flaps. “The sun is peeking through the clouds.”
Judith put a warm sweater on the baby and pushed past her brother. “Let me out. I want to see Gil.”
Warren threw his hands up and backed away. “Don’t run me over.”
Judith laughed. “I guess I’m in a hurry.”
“Papa,” Anna squealed, when she spied Gil at the gate. He took Anna, and then helped Judith down. The flap fell closed, but not before Mary Mae saw Gil kiss his wife.
She was glad her friend had found such happiness, but it made her feel as if she belonged no place. But never mind. She’d make her own way both on the wagon train and in Santa Fe.
“Are you ready to get out?” Warren asked.
She realized he waited and she ducked out of his way. He stepped out, then held out a hand to assist her. With no desire to learn to depend on a man, she momentarily considered refusing his help, but climbing from a wagon with bulky skirts was awkward, and she had no wish to fall on her face in the mud.
He must have noticed her pause and guessed the reason, for he grinned widely.
She took his hand and held on as she made her way to the soggy ground. “Thank you.”
He chuckled as if enjoying the moment.
She could think of nothing to say, though in the middle of the night she would no doubt come up with a smart retort. The fire blazed. Donna Grace and Luke climbed from their wagon, Luke holding the baby. Polly didn’t wait for her uncle Sam to help her from their wagon, but jumped down, laughing when water splashed at her feet.
Reverend and Mrs. Shepton joined them. The women prepared supper while the men took care of the animals. The wet ground soon had the hem of Mary Mae’s dress soaked. Anna wanted to get down to play, but there wasn’t a dry spot anywhere.