A minute later she came up to me, tapped me on the shoulder and put the sachet in my hand.
‘Yuck!’ I shrugged it off like an insect. It flew up in the air and into the pile of clothes the trial-room attendants were hanging. They began giggling immediately.
‘Oh God, Aisha. What did you do?’
‘Look, they want to keep it,’ Aisha said, giving them a thumbs-up.
‘Are you trying to be mean? What is wrong with you?’
‘Ruhi, I ... misunderstood. Aren’t you serious about dating Tejas?’
‘Yes. I don’t know. I don’t think he would pressure me. I’m not ready.’
‘Ruhi, you still have to tell him.’
‘I don’t understand what’s going on. I’ve never been in a serious relationship before, Aisha. I didn’t think about the intimacy part. I would die if Tejas left me. I’m going to do everything right. I just don’t know what I want, Aisha. Is that a crime?’
‘I think you do. If you’re ready, you’re ready; if not, you’re not. It has nothing to do with him. Ruhi, it’s more important you have this conversation with yourself, more than me or Tejas, so you don’t get carried away or do something you’ll regret. And I’m here no matter what happens. But you gotta be honest with yourself.’
I nodded.
‘I’m heading to the changing room. Get whatever, dealer’s choice.’ She smiled.
I grabbed a pearly-white bra-and-panty set. I’d have to start somewhere.
Aisha’s head poked out from the changing room.
‘Ruhi, you gotta help me. I can’t zip up this damn dress,’ she called out.
‘Are you sure it’s the right size?’ I said, entering the stall.
‘Of course it is. Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a six, even though I’m a four.’
‘Well, the zipper is not going up,’ Ruhi said.
‘It must be stuck. Try harder.’
‘I can’t, it’s—’
‘Oh you’re useless! I’ll do it myself,’ Aisha said, grabbing the bottom of the dress with one hand, the zipper in the other.
‘No!’
‘Oh!’ The dress split and the zipper ended up in her hand.
‘Damn this stupid dress. Damn this stupid diet,’ Aisha said, peeling off the dress.
‘Aisha—’
‘Leave.’
I waited for her outside, preparing what to say to her. No attendants were around. When she emerged, it was like the incident never happened.
‘Ha! That was funny, wasn’t it?’ she said. ‘Babe. I just realised, I have to go. I’m super late for my appointment with Maya. Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. I’ll see you on Monday.’
‘Your appointment was this morning.’
She didn’t let me finish, just gave me a quick hug then marched straight to the manager. She gave him a mouthful. I figured she just had to yell at someone. She flung the dress on the counter and walked away. Only Aisha could convince the manager the dress was the store’s fault.
Monday, 8 July
To Do:
Litracy
Send 2 adventure comics to press
Send historical fiction pdf to press Track T’s sales and amp up
Proof next 2 adventure comics
Send final proof of Indian detective novel #3 to author Induct new batch of interns
Mountain Echoes
Finalise Tejas’s panel with Siyahi & brainstorm topic
Decide which authors, books to go, how many copies, if any to be signed
Revise list and see if any other authors are available to go AIS for all 12 authors and novels – delegate Bookmarks
The ‘Makeover Mania’ post had a hundred views already. People knew Aisha and followed her blog. Maybe that would help with Litracy’s visibility. Anyway, I knew I would feel good all spruced up in my new clothes anyway.
I scrutinised my wardrobe. A black blouse, a fuchsia blouse and three white shirts hung next to my dozens of t-shirts.
It was going to be the black shirt with jeans today. Baby steps.
I grabbed a pair of black stiletto heels, three inches high. I’d seen Aisha in six-inch ones the day of the launch.
I’d reach work in time but my mother had her monthly meeting at Litracy, and she’d left thirty minutes ago. We were to finalize all details for Mountain Echoes.
I piled up pages of the book called Sparks I’d been editing – a new writer we were picking up – and had brought home for the weekend.
Books have always been my escape. Throughout school they were my most reliable companions, be it the Harry Potter series , Lord of The Rings , the Inheritance series, and even A Game of Thrones , before it became mainstream.
Far from being a young genius, I hid myself beneath worlds of broomsticks, dragons and magical destinies to avoid undue attention at school. The thick black-rimmed glasses I began wearing at the same time stuck with me through college and after.
This helped me perfect a look for a career in the world of publishing that I already had the pedigree of.
When I reached office, my heels shook crazily as I walked up the stairs. I had to take two trips to get my laptop, bag and the manuscript to my desk.
Aisha took one look at me and said, ‘Your admirer, he’s coming today, isn’t he?’
‘How do you walk in these damn things?’
‘You don’t,’ she said with a wink. ‘Oh, you saw my media plan for this month, right? I’ve gone through your logistics. Tejas hasn’t been emailing or checking his social media. But we can worry about that next week. What else do we have to know for the meeting?’
‘Has my mother had her morning coffee yet?’
‘You worry too much.’ Aisha rolled her eyes at me. She was wearing an oversized shirt, knotted at the bottom, with ripped jeans. Her makeup was light, hair tied back. Her overall appearance was subdued and I was the only person in office who knew why.
When we entered the conference room, Farah was on the phone but she glanced appreciatively at Aisha. If I’d worn torn jeans to work, I would have been told off.
We sat across her, leaving a seat in-between for Tejas.
‘No, no. I am not disputing your position as the author, baba,’
Farah cooed. ‘The epsons were signed by you. I’m looking at them right now. We cannot pull it off the press. I guarantee we’ll make these changes in the next print run.’
I wrote ‘Minutes of the Meeting’ on the top of my notepad in pink ink.
Farah caught Tejas’s eye when he entered. He then winked at me and sat at the head of the table instead of between me and Aisha.
‘I am not having this conversation if you’re going to be like this. Please call me after four. Thanks.’ She held up a finger at Tejas, shaking her head as she spoke on her phone. ‘Idiot,’ she said after hanging up, and took a deep breath.
‘You. Take minutes,’ my mother barked Aisha into action. ‘This meeting’s notes go to the CEO.’
I scratched out the ‘Minutes of the Meeting’ I’d written. I was getting nervous.
Sitting up straight, I crossed my legs and put both arms on the table, exactly like Aisha.
‘It looks like all our work is paying off. And thanks to Aisha, we know you’ll have a solid turnout in Thimphu,’ Farah said. She failed to mention me.
‘I can hardly wait,’ Tejas said.
‘Let’s go over a few things.’ Farah looked at her checklist.
‘The books have reached the shop. You girls are carrying the bookmarks. They turned out well, didn’t they, Tejas?’
‘Pretty neat,’ he said, twirling the samples around.
‘Have you spoken to our contact in Thimphu? She was expecting your call this morning,’ Farah asked me.
I had no recollection of being told any of this before. I knew sleeping in was going to cost me.
‘Didn’t you know? You have to coordinate with Pema. Stay on top of things, Ruhi, we’ve been planning this for a while.’
‘Okay, okay. I’m o
n it.’
Farah went over the itinerary next but I couldn’t focus. I looked through my emails but there was nothing in there about Pema. I’d also reached work at 9.30 a.m. sharp every day the past month, except this morning, which in all fairness wa s the beginning of the official work day. How could I have missed such a development? I didn’t care what Farah or even Aisha thought, but I couldn’t look bad in front of Tejas.
‘Aisha, could you please sit with Tejas and preplan all your social media tags and links, hashtags and whatnot. Schedule everything if you have to.’
‘Sure.’
‘Now about your panel discussion. Pema will be moderating it.’
‘I like that I’m going to be talking about travel, and the topic is expansive. The guide says I can cover anything, From City of Djinns to Jack Kerouac. I already have notes.’ Tejas said, looking positively excited. ‘And Mayank Austen Soofi on the same panel. Just. Wow.’
‘I’ve seen his notes. I was going to go over that again with him now,’ I said.
‘Sure,’ Farah said. ‘I’d like to see them too. Tejas, send it to us when you can and get started with the social media thing please. We’ll work on it and email you back our comments, Tejas, if you want to use them. Aisha, you can take him to the cafe or wherever.’
‘This way, Mr Sahni,’ Aisha said in jest.
‘Please, call me Tejas.’
I wanted to evaporate. Wasn’t it enough that Farah was treating me like a kid, she had to treat Tejas that way too, read every word of the speech? Why didn’t he say anything back, make a sarcastic comment?
I sat in the room with her, fuming, while Tejas and Aisha skipped away into their social media sunset.
7
Dashing Misfit of a Writer
– TEJAS –
Monday, 8 July
I haven’t written anything the past week. It’s just too hard. I have been reading a lot though . It’s keeping me sane. Lots of inspiration. I must have spent some ten grand at the bookshop.
I’m going back to fantasy and crime fiction after years. It ’s a great feeling. Maybe visiting the girls at the office will help pull me out of this funk.
I lit Aisha’s cigarette. We were on the emergency staircase, Litracy’s unofficial smoking area. The office, which was pristine white from inside, was butt ugly from outside and behind, like much of HKV’s buildings. How much could one do with tiny blocks of balconies and facades anyway.
‘How are you doing?’ I asked. ‘You know, diet-wise.’
‘Peachy.’ Aisha sat down next to me. Her body was changing, it was getting softer. She was wearing a loose shirt, a boy’s shirt.
Was that something one bought in a ladies apparel store, or was it an old boyfriend’s?
‘Looking forward to Bhutan?’ She smiled. ‘I never thought I’d say this but I can’t wait to try their cuisine.’
‘Ha! Ruhi won’t get to set foot outside the venue. Farah would be tracking her every move.’
‘You don’t come across as the type to be very schedule-bound either,’ Aisha said, giving me a sidelong look.
‘Fishing, Aisha?’
‘I’m not. But I try,’ she said.
‘Do tell,’ I asked.
‘Getting to know you.’
‘It’s a long story. When I sent Litracy my manuscript, they were quick to sign me on, dispelling all formalities. Within six months, they introduced me as a writer to the publishing world.
As thrilled as I was, they also got to expand their repertoire to include me, a dashing misfit of a writer. Their author list has very serious people. This upped their ante. I’m grateful for Litracy taking me on.’
‘Why do you sound like you owe them?’
‘I should have been smarter while signing the contract. I promised them two books. Not that I don’t want to write one more, it’s just too soon. On the upside, I got a book and met Ruhi.’
‘Well, well, think of the devil,’ Aisha said.
Ruhi sauntered in. She was out of breath, her face was an incontrovertible look of melancholy. It was an expression I couldn’t have put down, if I tried.
‘Looking for Tejas?’ Aisha said.
‘Hiding from mom.’
‘Ciggie, Ruhi?’ Aisha broke the silence.
‘Sure,’ Ruhi said.
‘You don’t smoke,’ I said.
‘I’d like to try.’
‘Trust me, you don’t.’
‘Don’t tell me what to do, Tejas. You don’t own me. She doesn’t own me. No one does.’
‘Um, I’m gonna be inside,’ Aisha said.
‘I hate this job.’ Ruhi glared at me. ‘Lighter.’
‘Aren’t you a little old for this? You don’t have to prove anything to me or your mother.’
‘Who says I’m trying to prove anything to anyone,’ she said, grabbing the lighter. She tried to light it, without success.
‘Suck in while you light it, not too much—’
She began to cough. I thumped her back. She pushed my arm away and stood up. The heel of her shoe slipped between the metal stairs. She struggled to get it out and ended up barefoot with the shoe still stuck. Losing her balance, she fell, half on me, half scraping her leg against the staircase.
‘Hey-hey-hey.’ I pulled her back up, dusting her jeans and pulling the heel out.
‘It’s okay.’ I pretended not to notice when she wiped a stray tear from her eye.
‘Do you still want to try one? I’ll light it this time.’
‘But I dropped your lighter,’ Ruhi said in a high voice.
‘No worries. New shoes?’
‘I thought of trying something...’
‘Uncomfortable?’
‘New,’ Ruhi said.
‘I see.’
‘Oh, what did you think of the makeover post? Did you see it? I think my mother liked it.’
‘Uh huh.’
‘Be honest. What did you think?’
She was looking at me with her giant eyes under those hipster glasses.
What was I supposed to say? It looked like she was trying too hard.
‘That style, it works for Aisha. Yours is more subtle.’
‘Oh.’
‘You told me to be honest.’
‘I liked how I looked, for a change,’ Ruhi said, pouting.
‘You don’t have to give me an explanation.’
‘I’m not.’
‘You don’t need to look like everybody else because Farah says so. Or even Aisha.’
‘That’s not what I’m doing, Tejas.’
‘I like the ugly duckling,’ I said before I could stop myself.
Ruhi abruptly stood up, leaving my hand.
‘Asshole.’
‘No. I didn’t mean that, I wanted to say – I may be completely wrong.’
Shoe in hand, she headed off inside, her little nose in the air.
Girls.
Monday, 8 July
In a coffee shop
...that I was whole and not broken I would not shatter, I am not made of glass in the ocean without direction ... There is nothing in this world that could break me.
My wings appeared and so did everyone else’s I never knew they were there
So
The airplane dreams made sense. I never crashed, I was just trying to get somewhere better
What I did not realize / Was that falling fast / Was the fastest way
For change to begin
I was sitting in the cafe below the office. Ruhi and Aisha were sitting at a different table. I was working on some poetry, and on a hunt for inspiration. There were enough people around to observe. A lot of them didn’t know me, or were too busy to be starstruck by my presence. I sat by myself with my Moleskine poised to pick up bits of conversation. This helped spark off pages of writing when I was doing my book and I was hoping it would work now.
I couldn’t hear Aisha and Ruhi but I could see them well. Ruhi was no doubt telling Aisha how terrible I was.
A b
it of breathing space was good for both of us.
I went to get a black coffee, and found Aisha sitting at my table when I got back. Ruhi was gone.
‘She’s super upset, Tejas.’
‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘You can talk to her.’
‘Look, Aisha – it’s a family thing. I’ve been watching her for months. You can’t fix it in one go, trust me, I’ve tried. She is so sensitive, the closer we get, the worse this is.’
‘Hey guys.’ It was Ani. Tall and thin with a body to die for, she had an opinion on everything. I did fancy her the first week I knew her, but then my interest died out. I never did find out whether she was really into me or not.
‘How are you, Tejas? I trust the newbies aren’t treating you too badly.’
‘Can’t complain. How are you?’
‘I feel I’m getting old, surrounded by all the old writers we keep signing. You’re lucky you have such a young team on your case.’
‘Your tea’s getting cold,’ Aisha told Ani.
‘Are you feeling okay, Aisha?’
‘Perfect.’
‘Come see me later, I have a few tricks you could use – like drinking honey lime water and green tea every morning.’
‘Whatever for, Ani?’ Aisha was getting impatient, and I was getting to see office politics.
‘Oh, you know, to prevent bloating and stuff. It hurts to see all the hate on your website these days. Really.’
‘You’re no less with your green tea drama—’ I began saying.
‘Don’t speak for me, Tejas,’ Aisha said, turning to Ani. ‘I don’t think I’m going to take advice from someone who still hasn’t heard of bras.’
This was a dig at Ani’s voluptuous chest – which she loved showing off – and it hit the spot. She left, sulking. Aisha was upset too, though she was doing a fine job of pretending otherwise.
‘Whatever,’ Aisha said. ‘I just came to tell you, I’ve had a word with Ruhi. She’s better now, just be nice at your end. Look, there she is.’
‘Excuse me,’ she said as Ruhi came towards us.
‘Sorry about earlier,’ Ruhi said, wanting to talk. ‘You have a right to your opinion. Maybe I overreacted. I hope you’re not mad.’
I wasn’t mad. Just wondering if I had a ticking bomb on my hands.
8
I Woke Up Like This
Adulting Page 5