by Cora Seton
Five minutes later she sat on the closed lid of the toilet and stared at the plus sign on the pregnancy test stick.
Pregnant. She was carrying Ethan’s child. A few hours ago she would have been deliriously happy to see what she was seeing now, and she’d have bet her life Ethan would be happy, too. Now fear, disgust, and self-loathing gathered in her chest, crushing her. Not only would she be alone; her baby would be, too. She would do whatever it took to give this baby a good life, but just like her mother before her she needed to return to school, ask for help from her family, and leave the baby in the care of strangers while she took classes and found a better job. She would miss so many experiences with her child because she would need to be a breadwinner. And what about Ethan? What place would he demand in her child’s life? For all she hated him right now – for all he’d possessed her heart and then torn it into pieces – she couldn’t deny him his rights as a father.
Would he want to be involved? Or would he just move on and have children with Lacey?
Finally, when her heart hurt too much to bear it anymore, she returned to the guest room and shoved the pregnancy test into her bag. As evidence, she guessed. Evidence that she was the biggest idiot in Montana for believing this life could ever be hers.
When her bags were packed she sat on the bed and waited for Ethan to come home. As soon as she told him exactly what she thought of him, she was getting the hell out of Chance Creek for good.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ethan opened the back door as quietly as possible, in case Autumn was already asleep. He never did find Rob, but Cab – with the help of his buddies in the sheriff’s department – finally got a lead that he’d been spotted in Billings. Cab would make sure he stayed out of trouble for the rest of the night and got home safely.
All he wanted was to curl up with his bride and sleep – unless she had other ideas, that is. Autumn could wake up his passion with a single touch – hell, even a single look – and he’d never disappoint her. The kitchen light was on, but she wasn’t in sight. Nor was she in his bedroom, which gave him pause until he saw the light on in the guest room. Why would she be in there? He moved softly to the door and pushed it open.
Autumn was awake, fully dressed and sitting upright on the made bed, her suitcases at her feet.
“Don’t say a thing,” she said as he entered the room, and her tone made his blood run cold.
“Autumn…”
“Not one thing.” Her voice rose and he held up his hands in an appeasing gesture. “I talked to Lacey tonight,” she went on. “She had a lot of interesting things to say.”
Ethan groaned. “I’ll bet she did. You know that woman’s crazier than a loon, don’t you?”
“Did you kiss her tonight?”
Ethan’s mouth dropped open, closed, then opened again. “She…I didn’t kiss her.”
Autumn closed her eyes and he wanted to rush to her and smooth away every trace of the pain that was evident in her face.
“Autumn, I swear, I didn’t kiss her. She’s the one that threw herself at me. She was drunk and upset – something must have happened between her and Carl, I don’t know what. I got out of there as quickly as I could and I came back here.”
Her eyes snapped open. “She called me over an hour ago.”
“I’ve been looking for Rob! You know that. Hell, don’t let Lacey screw this up between us – not now,” Ethan pleaded. “That woman’s been nothing but trouble since I met her. She’s long gone, Autumn. Past history – she’s got no part in our story.”
Autumn said nothing, getting to her feet. Her eyes were shining with tears and a jagged pain stabbed through Ethan’s heart knowing he was the cause of it. “That woman is on your office wall. Naked on your office wall.”
Oh, hell.
Oh, holy hell.
“I can explain.” The words sounded so lame he wanted to gouge his own eyes out.
“No, you can’t.” She sounded tired. “Ethan, please. Don’t even try – it doesn’t become either of us.”
“It was so long ago – Lacey put them there when we started fighting, before we split up, and she used some kind of glue. I don’t know how she did it. They won’t peel off – I need to find a scraper and some solvent…and there’s always too damn much to do out there,” he waved a hand toward the ranch. “At first, when she ditched me, I kept it up because I was furious. She hurt my pride, telling me I was broke and worthless and she deserved better than me. She left a month after my parents died. You don’t know how I felt. Every time I saw that picture I remembered again how she’d done me wrong. It kept me feeling angry – and feeling angry felt better than feeling alone. Then I just got busy, and I didn’t care, and I stopped seeing it there all together. It’s just part of the room – like the desk or the window. I’ll take care of it tomorrow – I’ll do it right now if you need me to.”
She shook her head. “You didn’t even make the YouTube video. You didn’t even want a wife. It’s all a joke – this is all a joke. We both know you still love Lacey.”
“Fuck and hell, if you believe that then you’re the one who’s crazy!” Autumn’s eyes went wide at the anger in his voice, but he stepped forward, needed to drive his point home. “I love you. I have loved you from the minute I saw you walk through the airport and I want you to be my wife. Do you understand that?” She blinked and a tear spilled from her eye. “I made a mistake proposing to Lacey and thank God she broke it off, because if we’d gone through with marriage we would have made each other very miserable.” He took her arm, gently but firmly. “I may not have made that video, but God must have moved Rob’s hand to do it, because it brought me an angel – you. I’ve been a lucky man. I was saved from an unhappy marriage before it was too late, and then I was led to you – the woman I love more than anything. Taking down those pictures was a chore that required just a bit too much time and effort to make it to the top of my list. I will regret that little bit of laziness forever since it hurt you.
“I’m just a man, Autumn. A flawed man. But I love you more than you will ever know.”
“She said you called her every night,” Autumn whispered. “She said you looked at her photo and…”
Ethan counted to ten. The next time he saw Lacey it would be all he could do to keep from ripping her head right off her body. “That’s a lie, and I can prove it. I’ll get my phone records tomorrow – both the house and my cell. I’ll show you I haven’t spoken to Lacey since she dumped me.”
“Why would she lie?”
He shook his head. Should he explain all he knew about Lacey? Expose her secrets? “Lacey…I don’t know. Why does any woman lie?”
“Men lie, too,” Autumn blazed back.
“Not all men.”
“My father cheated on my mother. He left her for another woman – left her with two daughters to raise. He changed all of our lives in that moment, in ways I’m sure he never even considered. My mom was never the same.” Her voice broke. “He disappeared, so I never got to tell him what he did. He made her hate men and he made her so scared for her daughters that she did everything she could to make us hate men, too. And I’ve tried,” her voice rose. “I’ve tried to care about work, heart and soul like she does. I’ve tried to be a success, and to put everything else aside. Before you, I’d never once considered marriage or having children and you know what?”
“What?” He was afraid to say anything else.
“It’s lonely. I go home every night from my job and open the door to my empty apartment, where I can’t even keep a cat if I want to, and I work some more or watch t.v., or maybe go out with a friend, but even if there are men there I keep my distance because I. can’t. trust. a. man. I can’t! Because my mother raised me never to do so. And then I come here – here! – to your ranch,” she waved an arm, her eyes brimming with the tears she was struggling not to shed, “and here you were, and here was this place, and here was the life I wanted, and I thought maybe I could trust a man…and…I was so h
appy…and then Lacey called…”
Ethan spun away before she saw the fury in his eyes. Lacey was going to pay – he’d make sure of that. “You’re not the only one here who’s been hurt. Hell, everyone gets hurt, don’t they?” He turned back around. “All we can do is try. And if you love me half as much as I love you, I think we have a good shot at making it.”
Autumn hesitated, her eyes huge and her cheeks stained with tears. “I want us to make it.”
“I want that, too.” In an instant he had her in his arms, and tipping her head back he kissed her long and hard. At first she resisted and he knew she was thinking of Lacey’s picture in the office. Hell, he’d burn the whole house down if that’s what it took to put that in their past. Then she softened and he took the kiss deeper, until his body woke up enough to think they should get on to even more pleasurable activities.
“Ethan,” she said, when he reached for the buttons at her throat. “Wait.”
He stilled, afraid she would push him away again.
“Do you really love me?”
“I love you more than life itself.”
A tiny smile appeared on her face. He thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
“Are you sure you want to spend your life with me?”
“So sure, honey. Nothing could make me happier.”
She waited another beat. “I’m pregnant.”
He went cold and then hot and then tears pricked his eyes – tears – when he hadn’t cried in nearly twenty years, not even when his parents died. “Are you sure?”
She nodded vehemently and he pulled her into a hug and spun her around the room. Collapsing with her onto the bed he kissed her thoroughly on the mouth, and then all over her body, stopping with reverence at her still-flat stomach. “Hey, baby,” he called, cupping his hands over her belly. “I love you. I can’t wait to see you.”
When he looked up, Autumn was in tears, too.
“I love you, Ethan,” she said.
“I love you. Six more days until the wedding, and then I’m never letting you go – ever again.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
By Wednesday, Lacey’s pictures were long gone, replaced by a bare, scrubbed space on the wall that Ethan dubbed the Idiot Reminder.
“From now on any time I put off a chore I’m going to see that mark and get right to it,” he said.
Autumn laughed and was overjoyed that she could laugh about it. Once she got over the shock of the incident and heard the whole story, she had to admit it was kind of funny. Not very funny, mind you, but mildly so.
“I’d rather you just forget all about it,” she said to Ethan.
“I’ve already forgotten everything but you.”
That afternoon they drove to the airport to pick up Becka. She was excited to see her best friend – it seemed so long since she’d left New York – and show her all around the ranch. Inside, the terminal was crowded and it felt like they waited forever before passengers from Becka’s plane finally came down the corridor. Autumn bounced when she spotted her friend’s fire-red hair, and pushed through the crowd to meet her.
“Becka, you made it! Thank goodness you’re here – I need you!”
“Before you get too excited, I’ve got a surprise for you,” Becka said and pulled away. She turned and gestured behind her, and only then did Autumn see her mother and sister waiting there.
“Mom!” Autumn rushed to her mother, then stopped, unsure.
“Come here,” Teresa said and pulled her into a stiff hug. “You honestly didn’t think I’d skip my daughter’s wedding, did you? Even if it did come out of the blue and is happening much too fast?”
“I wasn’t sure,” Autumn said into the fabric of her mother’s shirt. She felt the tension in her mother’s stance and knew it would take time to smooth this over. “I hoped you’d come.” She pulled back.
“Of course I came.” Teresa looked at Ethan. “And you are the cowboy I’ve heard about. Swept my daughter right off her feet with your fancy hat and shiny spurs?”
“Mom!” Autumn flushed to the roots of her hair but Ethan laughed.
“That’s me. Don’t worry, Mrs. Leeds – your daughter is in good hands.”
“Hmph. That’s Teresa to you. Don’t you dare call me Mom.”
“I can’t believe you’re getting married!” Lily said and gave her a big hug. “You’re not even thirty!” She whispered into Autumn’s ear, “Good for you.”
Autumn hugged her tight. “Come on – I can’t wait for you to see the ranch.”
If she thought she was busy before, now that her family had arrived she felt like she’d been swept up in a whirlpool of activity. She spent Thursday picking out bridesmaid gowns with Becka and her sister, elegant pale mint sheaths that contrasted well both with Becka’s red hair and her sister’s darker locks. Her mother surprised her by offering to pay for the dresses and even to reimburse Autumn for the cost of her gown. Although Autumn declined at first, she was secretly relieved since her dress, although cheap by New York City standards, had taken up a large chunk of the available balance on her credit card. Rose had ended up being a huge help with other aspects of the ceremony. She arranged for several women in town to pitch in to provide floral arrangements from their gardens, and organized a pot luck reception, aside from the barbecued steaks that would come from the ranch’s own beef. Ethan hired a local band for the reception and while Ethan told her Rob swore he’d hired a chapel ahead of time for the wedding, that turned out to be another joke. Both wedding and reception would occur at the ranch, on the wide front lawn with a backdrop of the mountains.
“Photographer?” Becka blurted suddenly when they were making a light dinner. It was the first time Autumn had cooked in the Big House and she couldn’t tear her eyes from the view out the huge windows. Becka and her family had taken over several of the bedrooms upstairs, so it made sense for them all to eat here rather than crowd around the small table in the bunkhouse.
“Rose’s friend Alice is doing it in exchange for being able to use some of the photos in her portfolio.”
“Rings?”
“Yep.”
“Bouquet – wait, Rose has that covered.”
“That’s right.”
Becka tapped her finger on the granite countertop. “Party favors?”
Autumn frowned. “Do we really need those?”
“Yes, you do, and don’t worry – I’ll take care of it tomorrow. They can be really simple and I want to contribute something.”
A wave of nervousness swept over Autumn and she dropped the knife she was holding and gripped the edge of the countertop. “I can’t do this.”
Becka laughed. “Yes, you can.”
“What if it’s all wrong? What if he hates me the next day or the guest ranch flops or he hates the baby?”
“Ethan’s not going to hate the baby,” Becka laughed. “For heaven’s sake, Autumn – you’re fine. It’s all going to be fine! Ethan worships the ground you walk on and that baby is going to wrap him around its little finger, whether it’s a girl or a boy. Now shush or your mom will hear us. Seriously, honey – you’re just having wedding jitters.”
She smiled, but Autumn knew this went beyond wedding jitters. She still hadn’t told Ethan why she’d really come to Chance Creek. She’d already called her editor and told her she wasn’t coming back to CityPretty. Margaret had been furious, of course, but had calmed down when she said she didn’t expect to be paid for any of her time since she’d left New York. She’d given notice on her apartment, as well. She had to fly back for a couple of days and pack up her things, but otherwise her life in New York was over. Should she tell Ethan the truth or just let it slip away, too? Why rock the boat now when everything was going so well?
Because Ethan deserves the truth.
She pushed away that thought. The truth would only hurt him. “Okay, you’re right. I’m sure it will be fine.”
But she wasn’t sure. The last time she’d been so ha
ppy was just before her father walked out on her mother. How could she be sure fate wouldn’t yank the carpet out from under her again?
* * * * *
Finally, he was alone with Autumn. Ethan buttoned his shirt and tucked it in hurriedly, then crossed the room to his bride and pulled her into his arms. She came willingly, and wrapped her arms around his neck, meeting his kiss with a fervor that matched his.
“When are you going to send those people away?” he growled into her neck.
“If by ‘those people’ you mean my best friend, my mother and my sister, I was thinking of inviting them along for the honeymoon,” she said and then shrieked when he swatted her bottom. “They’ll go home Sunday morning, but we’ll be long gone by then.”
Ethan’s friends had pitched in and offered to take on Ethan’s chores for a few days so they could have a small honeymoon in the Black Hills of South Dakota. It wasn’t much to offer his new bride, but they’d be alone – away from the workaday cares of running a large spread and planning a new business. When they returned they’d get right to work on opening the Big House for guests.
“I can’t wait. I’ve got a lot of ideas of how we can spend the time away, and very few of them have to do with sightseeing.”
“That’s okay by me.” Autumn snuggled into his embrace. “I’m so happy, I just can’t believe it. I keep thinking something’s going to happen to spoil it.”
Was that genuine worry in her voice? “Nothing will spoil this. I promise. We’re going to be this happy for the rest of our lives.” He bent down and kissed her again, until the only thing he could think of was getting her back out of these clothes and into bed, but Autumn finally pushed him away.
“We’ve got to go – everyone will be waiting for us.”
Tonight was the rehearsal dinner. One more hurdle to clear before he could be alone with his bride on their honeymoon. In twenty-four hours they would be husband and wife. By the look in Autumn’s eyes, she was thinking along the same lines.