by Lyz Kelley
Trying to stuff one more thing into an already overstuffed closet wasn’t practical.
A mad rush of holiday shoppers yanked Ashley from her thoughts. She pasted on her salesperson smile and helped Jenna bag, make change, and replace inventory.
Someone poked her shoulder. “You wanted to show me something?” Chase appeared behind her.
“Hi. Yes. It’s over there. The next row over.” Ashley captured his hand to start weaving through the throng of people, but he took one step, then yanked his arm back.
When she turned, the smile on her face did a one hundred eighty degree-rotation. Chase’s face washed over with a grayish-green color. His eyes were quickly becoming wild and fixed. His fingers twitched. His hand reached across his body for things that weren’t there.
“Chase?” She reached out.
He blocked her hand with his forearm. His eyes turned feral. Frightened. He took two steps and leapt onto the bleachers, running toward the exit.
“Jenna, will you be okay for a minute? I need to check on Chase.”
“Go.” Jenna’s eyes were already wide with concern.
Ashley followed the route Chase had taken, searching the school’s corridors, heading for the outer door. She hit the metal exit bar at a run and didn’t stop until she was at the edge of the sidewalk. Where are you? Spotting her father’s truck, she saw Lucky watching something in the distance. Instinct made her run, and then slow to a trot when she saw Chase pacing on the track next to the football field.
When she got close enough, he turned and held his hand out, forcing her to stop.
She let the concern drain from her body and compassion fill the gaps. Holding out her arm with the palm of her hand open to receive, she waited with hope.
Come to me, Chase. Let me in.
The crisp air sent a shiver through her, but she didn’t flinch. She wouldn’t. Those eyes, the anxiety, the terror…she’d seen the same thing too many times in the eyes of her father. This time, she wanted the man to allow her to be included—part of that inner circle of trust—like her mom had been for her dad. This time she wouldn’t let the hurts of a child make her weak and indecisive. This time, she would stand strong as a mountain pine against the tide of an avalanche.
His stomach twisted, and he fought to keep from revisiting the pecan waffle he’d had for breakfast. His palms itched and the irritation started to spread. Sweat beaded his brow. He couldn’t breathe. He blinked, trying to defeat the visions in his mind, to regain control and release the tension in his white-knuckled fists.
And then there she was, a flag waving in the storm, guiding him home.
He raked his fingers through the short stubble of his hair and down his neck, fighting, working to piece together every bit of patience he could find.
“I don’t like crowds,” he whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear. “I…it’s just…”
“You don’t have to explain.”
He seized her hand and held on tight.
“Bombs go off in crowds. A soldier always has to watch his back.”
“Chase—”
“No. I assumed in a town this size I would be okay. Back in Carolina, just going to the grocery store is hard.”
Ashley’s eyes glittered with tears. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I put you in this situation. I didn’t know.”
He hoped she didn’t start crying. She’d hate herself for it—hate him. He had to make this right. He needed to suck it up. She considered him a hero. He could see it in her eyes. He wanted to be, but deep down, he wasn’t that person. He swallowed to moisten his dry tongue.
Put on a brave face.
He’d done it enough for his men, his buddies, and commanders.
Do it for her.
“I’m good.”
Ashley lifted her eyes to his. “Are you sure?”
He pushed his determined shoulders back. “As long as bullets don’t start flying, I think I can manage.”
“Chase, we all carry around baggage. Maybe a different size, shape, or color, but at the end of the day, it’s still full of crap that we can’t get rid of. I have my fair share. You shouldn’t feel like you have to face this alone.”
“Like you said, we all carry around baggage.”
“I like you, Chase. A lot. You’re a good man.”
He acknowledged her statement with a nod because the walnut-sized lump in his throat wouldn’t go down. The cold air bit into his face. His breath swirled around his head.
She gave his hand a tug and began walking back toward the truck. “You should go. Run. Take Lucky for a walk. Enjoy the crisp mountain air. I’m thinking it will help clear your mind.”
“Yeah. You need to get back inside, too. I’m sure Jenna’s feeling abandoned.” He stopped by the truck’s tailgate.
The understanding in her eyes and the softness of her touch made him lean in, but his name being called rocked him out of his thoughts.
“Mr. Daniels?”
“Sheriff,” Chase responded neutrally, wondering what the man could want.
“I wasn’t sure you’d remember me. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”
Ashley stepped in front of Chase. “Did Rachelle call you?” she demanded, blocking Joe’s way like a lioness protecting her cub. “Chase was on his way to run an errand, and he’s taking Lucky with him.”
The sheriff’s semi-confused frown gave Chase the impression the man had no idea what Ashley was talking about.
“Ash, it’s okay.” Chase settled his hand on her lower back. “Sheriff, what can I do for you?”
The man shifted and gave him an assessment similar to a drill sergeant’s, slow and thorough, not missing a single detail. “Harold Talbott indicated you might have heard gunshots the other day on the ridge.”
The sheriff seemed relaxed, but his eyes revealed the deception. Not the untrustworthy kind. The kind indicating he wanted more than just an answer.
Chase pointed. “We did. About five, maybe six hundred yards off, someone was firing a rifle and aiming in our direction.”
The sheriff shifted and rested a forearm on his utility belt. “You sure about that?”
“Positive. Heard the crack and the bang. Both times. That would only happen if the shooter was pointing in our direction.”
Joe’s brow lifted into an arc. “Our direction?”
“I was with him,” Ashley said. “We were up on Lonely Ridge, a bit west of the Hound’s Tooth, at the back of my property.”
“Did you see anyone?”
“Nope.” Chase shook his head, and Ashley concurred.
“Thank you for your time. You’ve been a help.” The sheriff turned to leave.
“Sheriff?” Ashley called softly. “Do you think the shots might be related to your brother’s death?”
A flash of pain flickered through Joe’s face before being blocked and wrestled back into a friendly state. “Murder investigations take time, and we’re still processing leads. As my wife likes to say, if you can collect enough flowers, you’ll have a nice arrangement. Once we have enough evidence, the killer will be brought to justice.”
Chase assessed the man as he approached his patrol car. A heavy burden lay across his shoulders, but he bore it well, and Chase recognized him as a man he could respect.
Ashley’s delicate fingers surrounded his callused palm. “Chase?”
He paused, but didn’t want to meet her eyes. He didn’t want her to ask questions. Questions he couldn’t answer. An inhale of cold air soothed the anxious nerves enough for him to connect to her concerned gaze.
“Thank you for not pushing me away.”
Her unexpected comment allowed the tension to ease, and his mind to de-clutter.
“One minute, I’m here. The next minute, I’m back over there. My mind takes over and I can’t control it.”
“That must be frustrating. Maybe a bit frightening. I’m here if or whenever you need to talk. No judgment. I’m a good listener.”
In
that one simple look, she tied a bow around his heart and made it hers. He couldn’t fight the emotions he’d felt since he first set eyes on the beautiful woman and held her hand, blood running across her fingers. She could head west or east, he didn’t care. Whichever way she went, he’d track her down. No matter how long it took, he wanted her in his life.
“You wanted to show me something?”
“Why don’t I take a picture and send it to you? It’s a coin with the Marine emblem carved into it. It’s really cool-looking. If you like it, you can text me, and I can get it for you.”
She understood, didn’t push, adapted to fit his need.
A hero he wasn’t, but if he could figure out how to be her hero, he would.
Chapter Sixteen
An hour ago, Ashley had arrived home to find the dinner table set, with two-inch thick steaks marinating on the counter and baked potatoes warming in the oven. The whole place looked and smelled heavenly, especially with Chase smack dab in the middle of the kitchen. Somehow, he’d even managed to select her favorite bottle of wine. However, he might have had some help from Jenna.
Now, she stretched her arms and yawned. “That was so good. I’m stuffed. Where did you learn to cook?”
“Here and there. Cooking mostly came from necessity. The first few years, I ate more burned meals than an average person eats in a lifetime. I like food, and my culinary skills sucked. Befriending the cooks in the mess hall helped.”
“He cooks. He cleans. He fixes things. Is there anything you don’t do?”
“I have a hard time letting people get close.” He leaned closer and brushed his knuckles down her cheek before settling back. “I don’t do that well.”
“That makes two of us.” But somehow you niggled your way in.
He stood and picked up her plate, then his, and placed the dishes near the sink. “Why don’t you get a fire started on the deck while I clean up?”
“Sounds great.” She might be completely full, but the way he looked in his stocking feet, jeans low on his waist, wearing a tight-fitting T-shirt beneath an untucked plaid flannel, made her hungry…well, at least for a few kisses and a snuggle. “I a…I intended to search for an apartment when I got home, but dinner made me sleepy. I’ll have to review the new postings tomorrow. No excuses.”
“Are you looking for something in Denver?”
“I’d like to stay here, but I can’t afford to keep this place. Denver’s not my first choice. It’s too expensive. I need to find something I can easily afford.”
“Would you consider coming back with me to North Carolina?”
Didn’t expect that. Her heart pitter-pattered in her chest. “What would I do there? Wait for you to come home? I’m sure jobs on and around the base are scarce.”
“I could support you.” That would be easy.
“And that is the last thing I would want. I need to learn how to live on my own. Besides, I’m not a charity case, Chase.”
“I know that.”
“I’ve got to find my own way.” She pushed back her chair. Lucky, sleeping by her side, sensed movement and stood. “Want to go outside?”
Chase turned to wipe his hands on a towel. “Ash. I didn’t mean to upset you. I only want to help.”
“I understand you want to help. And thank you for the kind offer.” She didn’t want to address the hurt in his eyes, so she contemplated Lucky instead.
Sliding the glass door open, she snagged her coat from the hook, and matches to light the fireplace from the shelf, then stepped out onto the shoveled deck, and felt optimism settle in her bones for the first time in years. She wasn’t afraid.
She could do this.
Find a place to live.
Make a life for herself.
She so wished she could be the woman that Chase wanted her to be, but she couldn’t. She understood military life, and knew she couldn’t fit that lifestyle. Life had to kick her in the teeth before she realized trying to be someone you weren’t didn’t work.
Even though she’d received job rejections, she didn’t feel like a failure. Unqualified, maybe, but not a failure.
Bottom line, her mom’s voice wasn’t as demanding anymore. Her own inner voice had started to take center stage and grew more confident with each passing day.
Lucky, when he finished his business, came to check on her. She pushed kindling and a new log into the brick pit and lit the nearest pinecone starter.
Possibilities had begun to form and evolve and feel good. Within the next few days, she should have her past boxed up, labeled, and put away so she could start discovering her future, a future that she needed to design. The goal setting book she purchased from the used bookstore in town might help. With the antique and Bazaar sales, she might have enough for the certificate program. Finding a job and roommates was the next thing on her list. Chase was a question mark.
She dropped her head back, listening to the soft, magical breath of the wind flowing through the trees, letting the stars mesmerize her, and the warmth of the down comforter ease into her weary bones. Lucky settled onto his wool pad while she sat in one of the Adirondack chairs and snuggled the down comforter to her chest. In the middle of processing things still to do, she heard the back door open.
“That’s a serious look,” Chase said, balancing plates and closing the sliding glass door.
“It’s not serious at all. More determined. I was thinking that, going forward, the future is mine.” Not that I know how to plan that future, but it will be mine. “My mom made plans for me, but none ever felt right. And I know going to North Carolina, as wonderful as it sounds, isn’t right for me either.”
“I wanted to give it a shot.” He set a plate of marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers on the table beside her. Lucky lifted his head to acknowledge him, then settled back into his normal position.
“So you’re not disappointed?” Her head tilted to the side, her eyes narrowing, trying to read his body for clues.
“Of course I’m disappointed. It would be an easy solution, and I could help you. Life isn’t that easy. At least it’s never been easy for me.”
Chase leaned in to stoke the fire and retrieve the hot dog sticks, great for roasting marshmallows. A bonus view of his backside ignited an inferno in her at the same time. The tinder popped, sending small flecks of embers into the air that quickly burned out.
“None for me. You really should be watching your carb intake.” She laughed at the just-got-caught smile on his face.
The smell of pine, the wavering blue and orange flames dancing across the deck, multiplied the sensual kaleidoscope. The firelight flickered across his skin, contrasting with the night and casting his features in a mysterious aura. He sat beside her, and she picked up a whiff of a peppery barbecue tang that must have clung to his shirt from cooking dinner. The smell fit him to perfection. His muscular shoulder brushed hers as she slid the down comforter across his lap. The chilly night air sneaked in, but his body heat soon transferred, building heat in their down cocoon.
“Thanks again for dinner,” she offered, after eliminating the other stupid conversation starters she’d managed to contrive.
“I figured you’d be tired after being on your feet all day.”
“Last year, the Bazaar lasted two days and was right before Christmas. Between the Bazaar, the holidays, and my mom being critically ill, I don’t think my feet ever got a rest. She had her first bout of pneumonia on Christmas Eve and didn’t recover until the new year.”
Chase leaned in. “My foot rubs are hard to pass up.”
So are the rest of your rubs. “Is that so?”
“Award-winning.”
Visions of his touch elsewhere turned up the flame already heating her body. She slipped out of her slippers and stretched her wool-clad feet toward him without conscious thought, but then she scrunched her nose. “Wait. A massage isn’t a good idea. My feet are smelly and disgusting.” She started to pull back, but he caught her ankle and held on.
/>
“You sure?” she asked.
“Absolutely sure.”
Her body craved the feeling of his strong fingers. The exhilarating touch of his skin. Logic fought against the hormones besieging her mind. She conceded the battle. “If you don’t mind, then…”
His eyes dilated. An overflowing need set her body aflame. His burning expression indicated he knew exactly how she felt. Before she could say more, Chase adjusted his chair back until it was perpendicular and removed a lotion bottle from his pocket. “I came prepared.”
She caught her breath when his hand wrapped around her calf, lifted her foot into his lap, and pulled off her sock. Her toes touched the cold metal button of his jeans and arched back before relaxing as he began the massage. “That feels so good.”
The pressure bordered on the edge of pain, but it worked the muscles and tendons, releasing the knots, relieving her headache, her backache.
“Award-winning good?” His question and eyebrow both lifted on the last syllable beat.
“I don’t want to know who the other judges were, but yeah, award-winning.” A twinge of jealousy left a bitter taste in her mouth.
He shifted her foot closer. She soaked up the heat from his fingers and the fire. Closing her eyes, she listened to the horned owl hooting into the night, the inhale and exhale of her breath, her body adjusting to the tempo of Chase’s movements.
Heaven. Pure heaven.
She tried to remember ever feeling such peace in another person’s presence, and couldn’t. Around others, she constantly felt the need to give, to make sure everyone else was happy. As a caregiver, she melded into the background, quietly helping. She never asked for anything, never felt worthy to ask for something. Chase’s giving, without her having to ask, meant more to her than she could express. His attention made her feel wanted. And that was a big dang deal.