Actually, the last man that I slept with was Evan.
Fuck me.
“You look gorgeous by the way,” Evan whispers in my ear.
I wish I could see his expression when I look at him; but hhis mask covers anything I could try to decipher in those incredible eyes.
Evan offers his arm to me, and I take it.
We proceed into the Gala.
Levi was wrong, I think.
I would’ve never fit in here if he hadn’t helped me.
All around us are men in tuxes and women in all assortments of couture dresses.
I’m used to being invisible, but quite a few people are staring in our direction as we walk into the old-world ballroom.
It has two levels, and long columns, everything is marble and opulent.
The full windows expose Venice and the endless expanse of stars.
I have to give myself a moment to take it all in.
“Dance?” Evan suggests.
“I shall oblige you, this once,” I tease him.
Evan likes to be the first one onto the dance floor.
We took ballroom dancing together in school, so we both know all the steps to the waltz.
With Evan’s hand on my waist, I have to try to steady my breathing.
Old feelings never die.
I wish I knew what he was thinking.
Evan pulls me closer, and my arm rests on his shoulder.
Then we’re off, and his guiding me along the dance floor like absolutely nothing has changed, like there is no concept of time.
Every step is in perfect time with the music, ever twirl leads me right back into his arms.
Evan spins me away from him, and draws me close,
I’m suddenly drawn to his eyes.
Through the mask, I can see them, that bright blue.
Intense and smoldering.
I’m hooked on his eyes, and the rest of the world fades away completely.
It isn’t until the song ends that I hear clapping.
I’m mortified.
I do not like being the center of attention, not at all.
But Evan is gracious about the attention, and we join Levi, who I’m sure is scowling under his mask.
“Did you really have to put on that little display?” Levi scolds Evan.
“What display?” Evan feigns stupidity.
“You can’t draw attention to yourself like that, we’re looking for Elizabeth, remember?” Levi whispers harshly.
“Fuck, you’re right,” Evan nods.
I don’t say anything.
“Whatever. It’s done,” Levi says, and waves a hand in dismissal.
I don’t have time to analyze what just happened, because Elizabeth is here somewhere.
There’s a bounty of food during the seven-course meal.
Couples dance while we’re eating, and Evan drags me on the dance floor right before dessert.
“I think I found my mother,” he whispers.
“Where?” I ask subtly.
“In the deep blue dress, my father’s favorite color,” Evan explains.
I try to discreetly look around and find that there is indeed one woman, in the whole ballroom, wearing a vivid blue dress.
“Evan, she’s moving,” I say.
“Merc, bright blue dress, follow her,” Evan says.
He’s got a mike planted in his ear.
“On it,” Merc replies.
“I’ll follow from a distance,” Levi answers.
“Just in case,” he adds.
“Right,” Evan nods.
“It feels good to dance with you again,” Evan tells me.
“Evan, we don’t have time for this,” I try to explain.
Even though I love that he’s said that…
“I know, but when is there going to be time?” Evan asks.
“You’re not over Vic, Evan. You were going to ask her to marry you,” I point out.
“I was thinking about it. I only tried to save her, Leigha. That was all our engagement was. A farce,” Evan defends himself.
“I don’t care, you loved her,” I say.
“That doesn’t just go away, and I refuse to be the rebound girl!” I add.
“I would never do that to you,” Evan insists.
“Leigha, deep down from the bottom of my heart, I promise I wouldn’t do that to you,” he says.
“Give it time, then,” I reply.
“Okay,” Evan says.
“I promise, this time, I will wait for you,” he whispers low in my ear.
Merc’s voice interrupts us.
“It’s not her,” he says.
“It’s a setup,” Evan whispers.
“Get out of here,” he commands me.
“Not without you!” I insist.
“Evan, Leigha! Get out!” Levi yells.
Instantly, we both go running for the door, narrowly avoiding the security team.
It’s hard to run in heels, but I do my best to keep up with Evan as we run for the getaway boat, stashed a few blocks away.
By the time we reach the boat, Levi is behind us.
No Merc.
“Where’s Merc?” I ask.
“He’s disappeared,” Levi reports, barely out of breath.
“I say we get the hell out of here, before we disappear too,” Levi tells us.
Evan nods.
Part of me wants to go back and look for Merc, but I know that’s not wise.
I get into the boat against my better judgment.
“We don’t even have a safe house! If Elizabeth knows we’re here, then she definitely knows where we are. I’m betting she knows we’re in Venice, at least now anyway,” Levi says.
“Fuck!” Evan yells.
Levi starts the boat, and we begin to cruise the canal, towards the apartment, in silence.
I’ve lost Merc again.
I’m aware that Merc is a big boy and can genuinely handle himself, but if Elizabeth has the chance to kill her own nephew, I don’t doubt she’ll pull the trigger.
“You’re worried about Merc,” Evan observes.
“What if we double back, sneak in the back way, see if we can find him?” I offer, ignoring Evan’s observation.
Levi slows the boat down.
“We could do that,” he says.
We all ponder this for a second, and I know Evan and I have come to the same conclusion.
“We need to go back for Merc,” Evan and I say in unison.
Levi mulls over this for a few moments.
“And, what happens if we lose someone else?” he asks.
“We’ve got no support here, no backup. It’s just us, and we’ve already lost one person,” Levi continues.
“Exactly, we’ve lost someone. Never leave a man behind,” Evan argues.
“Well, in this case, we have to,” Levi says sternly.
For some reason, Evan listens and doesn’t fight him.
We continue to cruise the canal in all its beauty, although it is colder than Venice was the last time I visited.
The water is serene, somehow, and calming.
But I don’t feel any better about having left Merc when Levi pulls into the boat garage, underneath the apartment.
Inside, I try to calm my frazzled nerves.
I sit on the bed, clenching my hands and unclenching them before I move to the ensuite washroom to run them under cold water.
“Are you okay?” Evan asks from the doorway.
“We need a plan,” I say, ignoring his question.
“Merc can handle himself, I’m sure he’s escaped by now,” Evan rationalizes.
All I can do is sigh.
“Can you undo my dress, I can’t reach the zipper,” I ask.
“Sure,” Evan says.
He nods, then pulls the zipper of my dress down, as I hold it up from the front.
I feel nearly naked, as I’m not wearing a bra.
There’s a small pause.
I feel Evan’s lips care
ss my neck, and a tingle washes all the way down my spine, to my toes, leaving me breathless.
“Ev,” I whisper.
“Leigha, I need you,” Evan tells me.
I need him too.
There’s no question, I want to feel his skin against mine, and when he turns me around, I let him claim my lips with his.
His kisses are rough, demanding, and passionate.
Every single kiss leaves me gasping for air, but how can I possibly stop kissing this man?
I fight the urge to let my dress fall to the floor and pool around my feet.
Just kisses, is all, I tell myself.
Evan’s lips move under my face, down my neck, across my collarbone.
“Evan,” I breathe his name.
But there’s no continuation of my sentence, because he silences me with another rough kiss, biting my lower lip.
This is so difficult!
On the one hand, the man I’ve gotten so close to, so many times wants me now.
On the other hand, this is not an opportune moment.
“Evan we can’t do this,” I whisper between kisses.
He presses his forehead against mine and sighs heavily.
He draws back.
“I know,” he whispers.
23
Evan
March 11, 2018
Night bleeds into dawn, and in the early morning sunrise, my mind is still churning.
It alternates between my worries about Merc and my needing Leigha.
I hate that she always tells me no; that every kiss leads nowhere.
But, every kiss with her is like breathing again, as though I’ve been holding my breath this whole time, and her lips allow me a fraction of what I should feel.
What should I feel?
Life.
I feel alive with Leigha, and I’ve never needed her more.
It’s a startling and mind-bending realization that makes me go crazy trying to figure why I have always tried to make excuses as to why she is not the woman for me.
Through all my rationalization, all my reasons for not wanting Leigha just come up empty and hollow.
My relationship with Vic has begun receding somewhere to the back of my mind.
I’ve begun to recognize that it was far from viable.
Could we have even made it?
Through all the games, and all the bullshit, I always thought that we had something real.
But my conclusion, before I ever found out she was pregnant, was that I didn’t honestly know how I felt about her.
I just wanted to know we had a fighting chance; and now, that’s not to be.
But, if I scrape away all the shit with Vic, I know the truth.
If Leigha had been an option, long before Vic came along, I would’ve chosen her.
I denied myself this, and now that I want it, Leigha is sure this is a rebound.
She could never be a rebound!
Not to me!
The worst part is, I understand Leigha.
We need to lean on each other for support right now.
We don’t need the complication of sex adding chaos to an already chaotic situation.
Sex with Leigha?
That would mean more to me than I’m willing to admit.
She was the one who brushed off our little tryst, while Vic and I were together, as a one-time thing.
Leigha swore me to secrecy, and begged me not to tell Vic.
She told me to make things okay with Vic.
Leigha is the one who pushed me away!
Every relationship has its flaws, but Vic and I had too many to count.
“Ev?” Leigh’s voice creeps into my thoughts.
I look over, and she’s standing at my door, in a little nightgown, her nipples perky from the cold.
“C’mere,” I say.
Immediately, I invite this woman into my warm bed.
She crawls under the covers with me, and I keep my distance because I’m as naked as the day I was born.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she whispers.
“Worried about Merc?” I ask.
“You,” she whispers.
I turn to face her.
Her eyes are full of concern.
“I worry about you a lot,” Leigha continues.
“Why?” I ask.
Leigha laughs lightly.
“C’mon. Everything, Evan. Your mother, your father, Merc, Vic; all of it worries me. I would’ve had a mental breakdown by now! How are you even still standing?” she asks me.
“Because I’m a Stone. We falter, but we don’t fall. I don’t have time to break and fall apart,” I tell her stoically.
“Everyone falls apart once in a while,” Leigha tells me.
She rolls over.
Her hands are folded under her head, knees drawn up towards her body.
“You don’t always have to be strong for everyone. It’s okay to break down once in a while,” Leigha says.
“I’m a Stone. We don’t break,” I respond.
We both laugh at my joke.
“You sound so much like your father, Evan,” she says.
I look at her, and smile.
“As long as we have the support we need, I’ll be fine Leigha. Look at what we do have! We’ve got Merc back; Levi is in our lives; my dad finally has his priorities in order,” I say.
I grab her hand between mine, and gently kiss it.
"And I have you with me. You shouldn’t have to bear my burden with me,” I tell her thoughtfully.
“It’s my burden, too. I need to know why Elizabeth decided my father needed to be destroyed,” Leigha reminds me.
“I’m sorry she did that to you,” I whisper.
In that moment, I hate Elizabeth, maybe more than my own mother.
For doing this to Leigha.
“It’s not your fault, Evan. I’m sure she didn’t do it maliciously, to hurt you in some way,” Leigha says.
She’s realized that I’ve thought about it.
“I think my father was working on something she wanted, but that’s all in the past now,” Leigha says in a dreamy voice.
When I look over at her, she’s focused on me.
I can’t help myself, the look on her face is just so relaxed.
I haven’t seen her like this in forever.
We cross the distance between us and our lips smash together in desperate, hot kisses that leave me breathless, but yearning for more.
A shiver runs down my spine, and I’m suddenly aware just how much I need Leigha’s lips against mine.
Pressing her down into the sheets, Leigha wraps her legs around my waist, and I run my hand along the soft skin of her legs.
We kiss.
Just kiss.
I don’t want to push her any further than she’s willing to go.
Right now, I am content with just kissing her, inhaling every kiss and enjoying how happy I am with doing only that.
“Evan,” Leigha whispers breathlessly.
Her grey eyes are bright in the morning light, almost tinged blue.
“Leigha,” I whisper her name back.
A feeling of dread fills me for some reason; I can’t place it.
“Make love to me,” she whispers.
That’s what I want to hear, but a large part of me knows that if we have sex now, there would be too many complications to count.
She’s right.
I’m not entirely over Vic.
And, if I do this now, I’ll never know where the line is drawn between Leigha and Vic.
I don’t want to allow sex to color my feelings for Leigha.
I don’t want her to be a rebound.
“I can’t,” I whisper.
I somehow manage to force the words from my mouth.
They taste bitter, like vinegar.
Leigha sucks in a breath, and I can see tears in her eyes.
“Leigha…” I say her name.
But, she’s already pushed me away from her and got
ten out of the bed.
“You know why,” I tell her.
“No, and yes,” Leigha sighs.
“You’ve been asking me, and asking me, and now that I want it, you just can’t bring yourself to do it. I get it. I know I’m not Vic, but maybe you should consider that I’m not really the kind of woman you want. I’m just a caricature of her,” Leigha is annoyed.
“No, it’s not like that, Leigha please!” I beg.
I pull her back towards the bed.
“Evan, no,” Leigha says, shaking her head.
She finds herself in my arms.
“Evan, just let me be, okay?” she says, and her voice is sharp.
I let her go.
Leigha slips out of my bedroom.
“Fuck!” I scream, and punch the mattress.
It’s morning, and breakfast, and Leigha is sitting at the table, her eyes searching the nook for something to eat.
Leigha and I can quickly resume our friendship and avoid what we don’t want to talk about, usually.
I know what’s going through her head this morning, though.
She’s quiet as Levi sets out breakfast.
Pastries and coffee.
The croissants are nowhere near as good as Magda’s.
“Any word from Merc?” I say, breaking the silence.
“I’ve been trying to reach him on his phone,” Levi says.
“I’ve tried all the usual ways, pinging his earpiece, and his tracker, all night. But I’m not getting any hits. My thinking is that he went radio silent for his own safety,” he says.
Leigha pushes off from the table, and her coffee sloshes out onto the table top.
“Maybe Elizabeth has him, and he’s already dead! We shouldn’t have run, we should’ve fought for him!” Leigha says, tears in her eyes.
“Leigha, we have no backup, and there’s no one else to protect us. We tried to protect each other, but Merc was too far away for us to reach. They could’ve killed all of us, or worse, captured all of us,” Levi says.
“How is that worse?” Leigha asks.
Levi takes a deep breath to steady himself.
His face is deadly serious now.
“Olivia had a serum developed to erase the memories of the girls that were brought over illegally. They would take them, erase their memories of their families, and then train them to be whatever they needed,” Levi explains.
Leigha and I fall silent.
“Leigha, there’s more,” Levi says.
“How could there possibly be more?” Leigha asks.
Secret: A Stone Billionaire Series Novel (The Stone Billionaire Series Book 5) Page 14