Jamie was speechless, not realizing until that second how hard it had been for Ryan to tell her about those incidents. The dark woman continued, "I didn’t need to tell you that I went to Mass with her on the day you returned. I didn’t need to tell you we had lunch together. But I did tell you, because it was something that I participated in, and I thought you should know. I will always, ALWAYS, tell you the truth about anything that I DO." She was speaking with quiet fervor, her voice not rising above the muted sounds of the busy restaurant. "That’s the best that I can do, Jamie. I’m very sorry if you need more, but I can’t give it to you."
It took a minute for the blonde woman to let these words reach her heart, but she finally allowed them in, realizing that Ryan’s fortitude was one of her most appealing qualities. Smiling gently, Jamie grasped Ryan’s hand once again, locking eyes with the lovely woman. "I don’t need more," she said quietly. "I just need you."
When they returned home from the restaurant, they nearly collided with a messenger who was just coming down the porch. "Jamie Evans?"
"Yes," she said wearily, knowing she was in for more bad news.
"Delivery. You have to sign for it."
She did so, then went into the house to take a look at the missive. It was a long handwritten letter from her father, explaining his version of the events and begging her to contact him as soon as she received the letter. Jamie was not impressed, tearing the letter into small pieces and throwing them into the trash. She didn’t read the letter to Ryan, and didn’t offer to let her read it. Her entire summary consisted of two words, "Yeah, right!"
By Wednesday afternoon, Jim Evans was nearly out of ideas. He had tried every possible means of communicating with his daughter, but Jamie steadfastly refused to take his calls or respond to his letters. Feeling like his connection to her was nearly severed, he tried the only thing he could think of, even though he knew it was a long shot and might backfire even if it did prove to be productive.
The investigator crisply answered his private line, "Dick Williams."
"Jim Evans," he announced. "How’s the investigation going, Dick?"
"Not bad," he said, stalling for time. So far he had expended much more money than he thought wise to obtain absolutely nothing of interest on the young woman he had been hired to investigate.
"Good, good," Jim said. "Keep on it until you have something major. I do have one more job for you," he added. "I need for you to expand your investigation. You do have international contacts, don’t you?"
"Absolutely," he replied. "We’re a little thin in the Far East, but…"
"Not a problem. My concern is Western Europe. Specifically, Italy."
That night, they lay in bed together, Jamie’s hand idly drawing patterns on the soft cotton of Ryan’s T-shirt. The larger woman had worn a shirt to bed every night since their fight, and Jamie was beginning to wonder if their easy familiarity with each other would ever be restored. The letter from her father had affected her deeply, even though she had tried to shrug it off, and she felt the distance between herself and her lover like a physical presence that was pulling them apart.
"Ryan?" she said, her voice soft and wistful.
"Yeah?" Ryan had almost been asleep, the soft touch of her partner always an effective sleep aid.
"Will we ever get back to where we were?"
The dark woman shot up into a sitting position, startling Jamie. "What?" she blinked, trying to make sure she understood the question.
Tears sprang to Jamie’s soft green eyes as she said, "I just feel so distant from you. It’s like you don’t want to touch me or be close to me any more. Will it ever be like it was?"
She looked so fragile, so wounded that Ryan’s heart nearly broke. Wrapping her strong arms around the heaving chest, Ryan whispered fervently, "Of course it will be. We’ll get back to where we were, and then we’ll just keep going. We’ll always keep trying to be closer."
"But how do we get there?" Jamie sobbed, feeling that her very tentative overtures at physical intimacy had been rejected every evening since their fight.
"It will just take a little time, Jamie. We had a very, very tough spell there, but it’s getting better day by day."
With a shuddering breath, the smaller woman asked the question that had been on her mind since Sunday. "Will we ever make love again?"
Sitting up once more, Ryan’s wide-eyed look bespoke her shock. "God yes, Jamie! Of course we will! I was just waiting to get a sign that you wanted to…"
"I was waiting for a sign that you wanted to…" the smaller woman murmured, realizing that they could have been in this standoff for years.
"I felt that I should stay away since I was the one who hurt you so badly," Ryan offered, shaking her head at her obviously erroneous thought process. "I just assumed you wouldn’t want me touching you that way for a while."
"I thought you were still too hurt to want me to touch you," Jamie said, her voice soft and full of regret. She sighed heavily and said, "It’s not the sex, Ryan. We’ve gone this long without sex before. It’s the emotional distance that’s tearing me up inside. It’s feeling like I have to think about it and even ask permission before I touch you," she said softly, her voice a little rough with emotion.
Ryan’s features gentled, and she gave her partner a smile filled with love. "Your touch heals me," she whispered. "You never have to ask for permission to touch me, Jamie. Your touch makes me feel whole and safe and secure. It’s a balm for my spirit."
Jamie fell into her arms, sighing gratefully as she felt her lover’s embrace surround her. "Will you touch me tonight?" she asked, finally confident that she would not be rejected.
"I’ve been waiting to hear those words," Ryan sighed, her hands slipping under the T-shirt that covered her partner’s body. As her hands moved under the soft cotton, she felt the goose bumps that covered Jamie’s torso, and shivered in response. "God, I’ve missed this," she moaned, her heart filled with the emotion of the touch long denied.
"Welcome back, Ryan," the relieved blonde whispered as the shirt was whisked from her body, revealing a wide expanse of skin that craved her lover’s gentle touch.
"I never left," the dark woman vowed. She tugged her partner into a warm embrace, holding her close for a long while, just letting their bare skin acclimate to the contact. Trailing her hands down her partner’s shivering body, Ryan felt hesitant, even shy, in her overtures. The easy familiarity with each other's bodies was absent, and even though she knew it would return with time and patience, she wasn’t quite sure how to get past the uneasiness. She moved at an almost glacial pace, her hands roaming over Jamie’s body while her face was pressed hard against her neck, breathing in her scent to help her recall the path to her lover’s pleasure.
The smaller woman nuzzled against her, every part of herself moving gently against Ryan, letting the dark heat that flowed from her body thaw the chill that had settled between them. The minutes dragged on with Ryan failing to move them forward, obviously shy and hesitant to lead the dance. Jamie continued to cling to her, her desire building slowly, but steadily. The strong, warm body gliding against her was maddening, the constant stimulation thrumming deep inside, neither increasing nor varying the pace.
Finally, frustration overtook her, and the smaller woman grasped Ryan roughly, focusing all of her strength to throw her onto her back. With a growl, she covered her, blinking as her eyes encountered the wide-open orbs of her lover. "You can’t tease me like this," she moaned. "I’ve waited too long to touch you." Her head dropped and claimed Ryan’s slightly open lips with a passion that she rarely revealed, her mouth grinding against her lover’s.
A strangled moan was caught by Jamie’s open mouth, and she smiled in satisfaction as Ryan’s arms flew around her neck, holding on so convulsively that soon her elbows were locked around Jamie’s neck. The larger woman clung desperately to her, giving up all pretense of control, surrendering to her partner’s greater need.
Fierce, bruising
kisses rained down on her mouth, her lips swelling slightly from the combination of arousal and constant, unyielding pressure. The small, warm hands were everywhere, touching Ryan so possessively, with such unerring accuracy, that her body felt as though it were being branded by the heat that radiated from them.
The kisses continued to fall, moving from her tender mouth onto her neck, her shoulders, finally progressing to her aching breasts. As the first gentle nip caused the dark woman to cry out, a smooth, firm thigh wedged between Ryan’s legs, making her gasp in surprise at the sensation. So many signals flooded her brain that she could no longer tell pleasure from pain, pressure from caress. All she knew--and she knew this with every thread of consciousness--was that she had to thrust her hips against that firm column of thigh.
Her own thigh lifted in response, the action unconscious but instinctive. Ryan’s hips began to pump--harder, more forcefully--giving and receiving pleasure simultaneously. Soft cries pervaded the room, but neither was sure whose voice cried out; both women's focus was solely on the building pressure between their legs.
The way was smoothed with the flood of moisture that flowed from each woman, the slick lubrication nearly causing them to slide from each other. Grasping Jamie desperately around the hips, Ryan’s fingers dug in hard, holding her in place with an iron grip. Her natural dominance flared, and they briefly fought for control, finally reaching an unspoken truce as their bodies settled into a deeply satisfying rhythm.
Hands sliding up her lover's glistening body, Ryan grasped the swaying breasts that dangled over her, giving them a very firm squeeze as Jamie threw her head back and howled, her back arching dramatically as she surged hard into her partner.
Ryan tried to control her wild panting, but was unsuccessful, eventually giving in to the sensation of being completely and utterly out of control.
Sweat dripped onto her body, merging with her own, and then Jamie’s torso fell onto Ryan’s, her hips hunching madly as she forced her body to respond to the rough thrusting. The bed banged forcefully against the wall as she pounded away, knowing they were both close…so maddeningly close.
Jamie's head dropped onto the pillow and she grasped Ryan’s shoulders, squeezing hard enough to leave marks as her hips continued to surge. As she felt the first powerful blast of orgasm roaring through her body, she turned her head and bit firmly, sucking hard against Ryan’s pulse point, her desire to consume her lover almost overwhelming. The pain sent Ryan hurtling into climax, unable to do anything but hold on as tightly as she could, her body spasming and jerking roughly.
Their bodies were so thoroughly entwined that their orgasms seemed to flow from one body to the next, and neither felt satiated until the other calmed, long moments later.
Jamie rolled off and landed on the bed with a thud, all of her muscles abandoning her. She panted for air, her body still shaking violently, the emotion as powerful as the physical sensations that still flooded through her.
After mere seconds, Ryan rolled on top of her, the deep blue eyes locked onto hers with a quiet, intense, passion.
Jamie’s eyes widened at the hungry look in those eyes, and before she could think her hands moved to the damp, ebony hair, smoothing it back as she moaned, "No, no more, Honey. I…can’t."
The blue eyes gentled as Ryan revealed her need. "I needed to break that dam…to free up all of the frustration that’s been building. But now…now, I have to touch you slowly. I need to feed on you, Jamie…to taste every part of you. Please?" There was not a touch of hesitation now-in her body, in her eyes, or in her voice. She knew what she wanted--knew what she needed, and she was supremely confident that her lover would never deny her.
With a smile slowly forming on her face, Jamie ran a shaking hand through the dark hair and asked for one small concession. "Be gentle," she begged softly.
"That’s my one desire," Ryan promised, dropping her head to kiss her partner with a slow, tender flow of emotion. To avoid hurting the smaller woman, she was bracing most of her weight on her arms, and Jamie pulled away slightly to turn her head to lick and kiss the prominent veins and muscles that stood out in relief, bulging under the strain.
She smiled up at her partner and flushed slightly under her bemused scrutiny. "I like ‘em," she shrugged, not having a better explanation. "Sometimes I just have to kiss ‘em."
"I like you," Ryan smiled down at her, "and I understand the compulsion perfectly." Dipping her head again, she kissed all over the now-peaceful face, dotting tender kisses on her forehead, all along her hairline, down the jaw line, and along her neck, savoring the salty musk of her skin. "You taste so wonderful," she whispered, going back again and again to reclaim her prize.
The smaller woman purred in contentment, savoring the sensation of the soft, moist lips trailing along her body. "Kiss me again," she begged, needing to feel Ryan’s mouth once more.
Shifting slightly, Ryan fulfilled her request, lingering for long minutes as their tongues darted and teased each other’s mouths. With a heavy sigh, the dark head lifted and she pushed herself down her partner’s body, kissing, licking and sucking gently as she moved. Her pink tongue peeked out of her mouth to tenderly lave first one pert nipple, then the other. Maintaining her gentle, soothing touch she continued to nuzzle softly, pleased when she felt Jamie’s hands in her hair. The smaller woman didn’t try to guide her or press into her, content to feel the connection that was pulsing between them.
Lifting her head to gaze into her partner’s eyes, Ryan’s dark blue orbs searched the mist green ones that looked back at her with so much love. "I have to taste you," she whispered, her stare turning hot and penetrating.
The green eyes blinked slowly as Jamie wordlessly settled back and drew her knees up, giving her lover permission to savor her in any way she pleased. With a satisfied smile, the dark head dipped as her tongue darted out to barely trace the outlines of Jamie’s desire-tinted flesh. Once again, small hands threaded their way through the dark hair, soothing and encouraging her partner.
Ryan slid her hands under Jamie’s thighs and pushed gently, lifting her slightly and pinning her into position by nestling her chest against her buttocks.
Seeing that Ryan wanted her body to be elevated, the smaller woman placed her feet onto her shoulders and pushed, helping to give her partner the angle she needed. She could see the satisfied grin on the lovely face when Ryan dropped her head and started to probe the sensitive flesh with the tip of her tongue. The position she had placed her partner in allowed her to maintain eye contact, and she did so hungrily, her eyes never leaving the green orbs that fought to focus.
In a matter of moments, her touch grew firmer, more determined, as she could feel her lover’s response start to build. She matched her pace, her tongue whirling gently, caressing every bit of skin with a resolute fervor, softening the pressure as she felt her begin to spasm. She held on tight as the smaller woman cried out, deftly slipping one of her fingers into the clutching warmth, helping to draw out and prolong the thrumming contractions.
Savoring the experience fully, Ryan rested her head against her partner’s belly, feeling the gentle pulsing against her cheek while she nuzzled at her soft skin with her lips.
As Jamie’s body stilled, she withdrew gently, then crawled up her limp form to wrap her in a tender hug. "I love you so much," she murmured, kissing the damp brow again and again. "I never want to feel so distant from you."
"Never," Jamie vowed, her voice weak and slow. "It’s so lonely without you, Ryan." By the time the last word was uttered, the exhausted woman let sleep overtake her, feeling utterly loved once again.
"It can’t be time for school to start. We just started our vacation," Jamie complained as Ryan tried to drag her limp body from bed.
"I know it seems like that, but it’s been three months." Sitting down on the bed, Ryan pulled her recalcitrant partner onto her lap and cuddled her for a few moments. Leaning close to her ear she reminded her, "When spring term ended we hadn’t made lo
ve yet. Doesn’t that seem like a very, very long time ago?"
"Well," the smaller woman purred, "when you put it that way, I guess you have a point. It feels like I’ve been lost in those big blue eyes for a very long time."
"To be technically correct, you have been," Ryan teased, "but you’ve only been enjoying the entire amusement park for a little over two months."
Feeling the warm solidity of Ryan’s body cradling her own, Jamie allowed herself to sink into the sensual haze of her partner’s alluring scent. "Maybe we should go on a ride or two before we have to leave, huh?"
"Yeah, that’s gonna happen." Picking Jamie up from the bed, Ryan carried her into the bath, setting her down on the cold tile of the vanity.
"YEOW!" she cried, hopping to the floor. "That’s cold!"
"Woke you up," Ryan reasoned, leaning in to turn on the shower. One sharp shove from behind and the cold water rained down on her, making her howl with outrage.
As the sputtering woman shook her head roughly, Jamie drawled, "Woke you up too, huh, Tiger?"
"You know, I had the crazy notion that once I left home I’d be in a mature, adult relationship with a fellow mature adult. I honestly didn’t think it would just be an extension of the constant teasing and practical jokes that I had to put up with from the boys. What did I do wrong?!
"You made me what I am today, Ryan O’Flaherty. And don’t you forget it! I never played a practical joke on another human being before I met you!"
"So I’ve created my own monster?"
"You got it, Dr. Frankenstein. Now let’s get ready so I can get some breakfast into you before your first class. You need to put on at least ten pounds before I’m satisfied." Looking down at her own body, Jamie poked the extra flesh that had settled onto her midsection. "Actually, I’d like to just give you some of mine. I must have put on five pounds in Rhode Island."
Honesty - SF8 Page 5