Halley sat beside me and laid her head on my shoulder. I couldn’t look at her, but I felt her presence. She just sat there like the best friend she was while I cried my heart out on the doorstep.
“Mace? Let me take you back to my house and you can sleep there and we can get ahold of Luke tomorrow.”
I choked out a sarcastic laugh and looked at her with my tear stained eyes. Was this a game to her? This was my life. “No, just leave me here I’m ok. I need to see him.”
“Macy please, come sleep at the apartment. I can’t leave you here.”
I shook my head and turned away from her. “No.”
Really, I wanted nothing more than a bed to sleep in and a place to clear my head. I was exhausted from trying and awfully tired of crying. I let go of her hand and slowly stood up. After drawing in a deep breath, I stalked back to the car with my head down and rode in silence to her apartment.
Marcus wasn’t in the living room, which I was glad for that. I didn’t want him to see me this way. He’d seen enough when Trevor and I went through our break up.
“The spare room is empty Mace. Get some rest and I’ll see you in the morning.” She hugged me and I held her tight.
“Thank you for coming to get me.” Fresh tears began to fall and I badly had to pee.
She offered a smile and replied, “Not a problem.”
She disappeared into her bedroom and I ran into the bathroom to finally pee. I washed my hands and stared into the mirror. My face was red and splotchy, it wasn’t an attractive look. I could also see a faint imprint from the bastard’s hand when he slapped me. I grabbed a washcloth and washed my face trying to cleanse it of any memory of tonight.
I opened the door to go to the room and came face to face with Trevor. I had bigger things on my plate than dealing with Trevor James. Silently I asked God if he hated me tonight and why the hell did Trevor keep popping up when I didn’t need him to. Trevor didn’t try to touch me or make any wise cracks. He looked at my face and concern laced his eyes.
“Are you ok Mace?”
I wasn’t warned he was here but then I didn’t exactly ask. He was the furthest thing from my mind. The fact that he kissed me that night was far from my mind, even though that was what landed me in this position. Suddenly I didn’t care though.
“I’ll be fine. I always am.” I’m stubborn and I know it. I also know I’ll most probably be telling him all about it later.
He reached out to touch my arm and I didn’t pull away. There wasn’t much strength left in me anyway. “I’m so sorry about the other night. I was drunk and I never should have behaved that way. Did I cause any problems?”
My jaw dropped at his apology. Where the hell was Luke to hear this one? I looked into his bluish gray eyes and could see the sincerity in them.
I honestly wanted to laugh, but there wasn’t even a sarcastic bone in my body right now. Did he cause any problems; well he should already know the answer to that one. “Actually yes you did. Luke won’t talk to me because he thinks I kissed you. But it’s going to be ok. I know it will be.”
“He would be stupid to let you go Macy. Trust me, I know.”
I took a deep breath as I walked past him into the room and sat on the bed. Actually it was my old bed from when Halley and I shared our apartment. My old teal comforter was even still laid out on the bed. Something familiar was just what I needed. Trevor walked in behind me and sat down next to me. He didn’t try to invade my space or touch me; he respected all boundaries which I was pretty proud of him for.
“You know Trevor, I really hated you for a while but I don’t think I can anymore. I can’t walk around with that. I’m ready to forgive you.”
A hint of a smile shown on his lips as his eyes met mine. “Macy, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard. I know we will never be anything again but just knowing this makes it ok. Can I ask you something and you please be honest with me?”
“Uh, yeah. What is it?”
“Please tell me why you called Halley tonight. Is it because of Luke?”
Silently a tear fell down my face as I locked eyes with him. “No, I haven’t talked to him since the bachelorette party. I um didn’t go home that night. I called my mom. She and I had dinner a while back and she said she left Ray. I needed somewhere to go so Paul brought me to her. We had a good visit. I finally had her back.” I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath. “I was watching TV and he came inside the house and tried to attack me. I dialed 911 and fought him off me until the cops arrived—“
He suddenly threw his arms around me in a hug and began rocking me. I didn’t fight it, I didn’t push him away. I let him. For once I felt at peace in his arms. There was no sexual tension at all, just a friend comforting another friend. Just what I needed.
Chapter 14
Trevor held me for another minute or so until I had no tears left to cry. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. “Are you going to be ok tonight Mace?”
I let out a weak smile. “I just want to sleep. I will be fine.”
“I’m right outside on the couch if you need anything.”
I smiled and watched as he walked out the room and shut the door behind him. If someone had told me at least two years ago that Trevor and I would go through all the ups and downs we had then this would happen and we turned out to be friends, I would have laughed in their face. Truth is, he knows me. Probably better than I want to know myself. He was there first hand to hear about everything. I know he cares which is more than I can say for Luke right now.
I lay there staring at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually I threw my teal comforter over my head and closed my eyes trying to go to sleep. I needed sleep, I was exhausted but my body wasn’t responding like it needed to. It was far out of reach and it’s all I wanted. I tossed and turned for an hour. I really missed Luke’s arms holding me. Were we over? Was that something I really would never have again? No. I can’t imagine that at all. I closed my eyes to keep my tears that threatened to fall at bay
I walked into Gills that night hoping to get drunk and forget all about Trevor’s stupid mistakes that tore us apart. Moving on easily was pretty much second nature to me by this point in my life. No matter how terrible the situation, I was strong. Strong on the outside, but no one could really see the inside where I grieved.
Sometimes it felt nice to walk into these hole in the wall bars where no one knew you. Yeah I recognized a few people that came into The Lounge but that was it. We didn’t know each other enough to strike up a conversation. We didn’t know each other enough for them to know my past.
A song came over the speakers and my eyes lit up. Dance music, ohmigod! Two shots later I was grinding my hips to the beat on the dance floor. There were no worries on my mind; I was lost in the music. I felt someone place their hands around my waist. I snapped back to reality and almost walked off. But I didn’t.
I turned to meet the most gorgeous pair of green eyes I’d ever seen. The song ended and I groaned. Time for a drink. He followed me to the bar and introduced himself as Luke. Hello Luke I thought to myself. I didn’t admit it at first, but my life changed that night. He was just supposed to be the distraction…something to get my mind off Trevor. But he was more, so much more. And that kiss, oh my, it was electrifying. He brought his lips once more to mine ----
“Macy are you ok?”
Halley’s panicked voice filled my room and I sat up abruptly. My sheets were soaked with sweat. Ugh not again. Her face was full of fear as she sat beside me.
“What happened Hales?”
She continued to just look at me and placed her hand on my arm. I looked past her to see Trevor standing there too concerned. “You were thrashing in your sleep and screaming. It was like an angry cry. Trevor came and got me.”
My eyes were swollen from crying; only I hadn’t realized I was crying. All I remembered was the dream. Luke. That’s what I remembered. Was he done with me? Were we over because of a misunder
standing? Did he throw our future away just like that?
“I had a dream and Luke, he was there and ---,” I had to stop or else the tears would fall again.
Trevor sat on the other side of me and grabbed my hand. “It was just a dream Mace. Lie back down and try to rest.”
I looked into his eyes and responded, “I don’t think I can. My life is over.”
Halley pulled me in for a hug and held me as I began to cry. My heart was hurting more than it ever had before. I hated this feeling.
“Mace, your life isn’t over. You have me and Gary.”
“I have Will too.” I sobbed.
Halley looked at me with a confused look. “Who is Will?”
“Oh, that’s Paul from The Lounge. He’s Will and I’m Grace.” I wiped my tears as I sniffled.
Trevor raised his eyebrow and let out a small chuckle. I looked at him daring him to make any kind of smart ass remark but he never did. Instead his eyes filled with concern again and he brushed my hair from my face.
Halley helped me lay back down. I didn’t fight her, I just let her. If she hadn’t I was bound to stay up longer. She placed my comforter over me and then lay on top of it beside me and held my hand.
“Everything is going to be ok Mace. I promise.”
“Will it?” I whispered.
“I know it will.” She replied through a yawn. Trevor still sat on the bed watching to make sure I was going to be ok. He leaned over and kissed my forehead before walking out and going back to bed.
A few minutes later I was back asleep.
I awoke when the sun shined through the blinds. Geez. Why didn’t Halley have curtains in here? My head was pounding from all the crying I had done. I grabbed my phone to check and see if by some miracle Luke had tried to text or call but there was nothing. Paul had sent me a text though and it instantly brought a smile to my face.
“Grace, I can’t wait to see you!” Those seven words made me feel a little better.
I did a double take on my phone and also saw it was almost noon. Shit, I don’t remember the last time I slept this late but after the night I had, I definitely needed it.
Slowly, I sat up and made myself get out of bed. I made my way to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. My stomach growled and I knew if I didn’t eat soon, my head would start hurting more.
As I walked out to the kitchen, I spotted my keys from the night of Halley’s bachelorette party. I almost forgot that I had driven my car here. I could easily drive to the apartment. I mean my things were there. But he wasn’t even answering a text and last night he wasn’t home. Was he home now? And was he alone? Would he bring another woman home? The thought made me run back into the bathroom where I lost anything that happened to be in my stomach. I brushed my teeth one more time before walking back into the kitchen.
I didn’t see Trevor or Marcus but Halley was sitting at the table sipping on a coke.
“Hey sleepyhead how ya feeling?”
I offered a weak smile and replied, “I’m starving. But really I just feel like shit.”
“Make you a sandwich and relax.”
I grabbed everything to make a turkey sandwich and then a coke. I carefully spread the mayonnaise on each slice before adding two pieces of turkey and one slice of cheese. I smiled as I looked at the one thing I could do right. There it looked perfect. I ate the sandwich in under two minutes. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until that first perfect bite.
“Thank you Halley. For last night. I’m so sorry to have kept you up. I hope Marcus wasn’t mad.”
She placed her hand on her hip while sitting and glared at me. “Don’t be sorry about anything Macy. I will do anything for you and you know that ok? Marcus wasn’t mad at all and if he were then he could kiss my ass.”
I cleaned up the little mess I made then Halley grabbed me by the hand and let me to the living room. I sat on her couch as she fumbled around her DVD tower. “Hales, what are you doing? I really don’t want to watch a movie.”
She shot me a look then continued until all of a sudden she found what she was looking for. “Aha, here it is. You can thank me later; I’m just trying to cheer you up.” She winked and then popped the Blu-ray in and pressed play.
When the menu popped up I saw that it was Magic Mike. I tried not to let her see me smile but when she turned on the dance scenes only and it began raining men, every worry I had suddenly left and I was able to smile. Channing Tatum could dance all day long in front of me and it was like I was a whole new woman.
By the time Channing Tatum was dancing to ‘Pony’, Marcus and Trevor came walking in and started making kissy noises. Halley threw a pillow at Marcus and I actually laughed. A real laugh, it wasn’t forced. They didn’t stay to finish watching us lust over the TV; they went to the kitchen and began talking band business. I overheard something about Trevor being back for good now that he ditched Taylor. I wondered if Gary were going to give them their spot back at The Lounge.
Speaking of Gary, I sure hope he hadn’t tried to call my phone yet. He didn’t know anything that happened unless Mom called him. He didn’t even know I had changed my number. Just as I got ready to try to call him, Paul sent me a text asking what I was up to.
I smiled and replied, “Watching the dance scenes of Magic Mike :)”
“Yum :)” I could imagine him sitting there watching it. I figure he was one of the people in the theater that actually cheered at the screen.
Luke’s name caught my attention and Magic Mike didn’t matter anymore. The sadness began washing back over me no matter how hard I tried to keep it away. At that point not even Matt Bomer could ease my pain. Ugh I hate this so much. I didn’t want to nag him but I just didn’t understand why he couldn’t just hear me out. Why did he have to ignore me?
I stared at his name and then typed, “I love you Luke. With all my heart.”
Nothing.
I let out a sigh and a lone tear fell down my cheek. I can’t believe this is even happening. Maybe I just need to go get my stuff out of the apartment. Would I even be able to go into there without running into him or breaking down? Probably not. I can’t stand how he affects me differently than everything with Trevor. I’d have to tell Gary. Shit, Gary. I hope Luke hasn’t called him and told him anything. I need to just get over it and call him to make sure he knows everything that is going on. After Gary rescued me from mom, I promised to always tell him what was going on.
Halley started snapping her fingers in my face. “Macy, hello? You with me? You zoned out for a minute.”
“Oh, yeah sorry,” I mumbled before looking at the clock on the wall. “I need to go see Gary. He doesn’t know anything.”
“Do you want me to drive you? I really don’t mind.”
“No, it’s ok. I can do it. Can I uh come back here after?” I know it was Luke’s apartment but I didn’t feel comfortable being there if we were speaking. Even though he may or may not even be there. Where was he though? That’s the part I couldn’t seem to figure out no matter how hard I tried. I didn’t know of any friends he had around here that he would actually stay with.
“You better. I’ll be waiting for you.” She was all smiles and I studied her expression for a split second. She was formulating something and I was not sure I was ready for whatever was up her sleeve. “Go out with me tonight. The wedding is in two days, let’s have some fun.”
“Hales, we both know what happened the last time we went out to have fun. I don’t know.” I lost Luke the last time we went out and all I needed was to accidentally run into him and have him thinking I’m moving on because I’m not. I’m very far from moving on; in fact I may never love again.
“This is totally different Mace. Marcus and Trevor will be there but not for what you think. They won’t even be around us. I’m sure Gary was going to tell you but the guys talked to him and well they have their spot back. Plus they are going to try to play different areas in town.”
Her hopeful smile was enough to co
nvince me maybe this is what I needed. Plus if Paul were working then it was like a double treat. “Ok I’ll go but if I start feeling uncomfortable I’m gone.”
She threw her arms around me and squealed, “OHMIGOD YAY!! We’re going to have fun like old times ok?”
I nodded my head praying she was right. I left her to fend for herself with the guys as I grabbed my keys and made my way to my car. I turned the volume as loud as I could stand it and I was able to relax. As I pulled up to The Lounge, I drew in a deep breath aware that he already talked to Mom and knew. I’m pretty sure as soon as she got the call from Ray she tried my phone and since I changed my number, it’s almost common sense that she called Gary and I felt like shit for not telling him sooner. I owed him that much.
I walked straight in and made a beeline for the office. His door was open and as usual he was deep into a game of solitaire. Part of me stood there hoping he wouldn’t see me and I could make my escape. Slowly I began to back up when he suddenly looked up and frowned. “Macy, come in. I tried to call you earlier and it said the number was no longer in service.”
I swallowed and walked into his office and sat down. I felt like a little kid about to get in trouble even though I had done nothing wrong. “Yeah, I uh changed my number last night. I was coming to tell you.”
He raised his eyebrow and scratched his chin. “Why’d you do that? Problems with Luke?”
Oh, if he only knew. But that was a totally different story even though it did tie into this one. I searched for the words to say so that I wouldn’t break down crying in front of him. I had to be strong and just tell him how it all went down. If he’s talked to Mom he doesn’t show it. He just looks at me waiting for my answer. I get it, I mean he wants me to be completely honest with him and I want to be.
More Than Enough Page 15