What the hell did she have to be jealous for? She was Anastacia Stone for heaven’s sake. She couldn’t walk down the road without men offering to court her. She didn’t need to be jealous of anything.
Cesare chuckled. “I cannot believe you’re jealous, Anastacia.”
“I said I wasn’t jealous.” That’s a lie because I am. “I was just asking. It didn’t mean anything.” This conversation wasn’t really working for her new ‘no lying’ lifestyle.
He shook his head. “Don’t lie to me, it is pointless. I know what I heard. There’s nothing to be jealous for anyway. I’m sure what you’ve heard of my love life was embellished.”
She rolled her eyes. “I doubt that, Cesare. From what I remember you never had any trouble finding a mate in the past.”
“Neither did you,” he reminded her. “Since the day we first I met, you’ve had a constant flow of men behind you, begging you to be theirs and confessing their undying love.”
She lifted her head from his shoulder and gazed into his eyes. “They could all confess whatever they wanted to, Cesare. There are only four men that have ever had the pleasure of seeing my perfect body without clothing.”
He laughed.
“Don’t laugh.” She laughed a little herself. “You weren’t laughing when I was undressing for you.”
“No I wasn’t. If I had, I’m sure you would have put them right back on—”
“Then kicked your ass and left,” Anastacia finished.
He smiled. “And that was the last thing I wanted you to do once I finally got you naked.”
Anastacia was astonished by the next noise that escaped her lips: a giggle. A ridiculous flirtatious giggle that she could not believe came from her. Disgusting! She sounded like a fucking girl. If her father were alive he’d kick her ass. Surprised by the sound, Anastacia slapped her hand against her mouth.
Cesare was thoroughly amused because he knew what she’d done, and that she hated that she’d done it. The fucking bastard. Anastacia frowned, attempting to stand, but he didn’t let her.
“Come on, Ana,” he laughed. “Stop it. I am playing with you that’s all.”
“You’re being a jerk,” she grumbled.
“Because you’re being ridiculous. You have too many rules, woman. No crying or laughing, nor emotion of any kind. No living, no breathing …”
Okay, now he was being an asshole. She rose to leave, but once again he stopped her.
“Ana, stop. All right, I’m done. I promise. Come here.” He opened his arms for her to rest on him, and after a moment of hesitation she complied. “See, that’s better,” he whispered.
Anastacia didn’t know why he’d whispered his words until she felt why … his chest was still shaking with silent laughter. She could no longer be angry even if she tried. She sat up in his lap and playfully hit is chest, even as she began to laugh herself. This was the huge difference between Angelo and Cesare. Angelo wouldn’t want to deal with her temper, so he would never laugh at her in the first place, but Cesare … Cesare was the type to do whatever he wanted. If he thought it was funny, he’d laugh until you thought it was funny right along with him.
“Stop laughing!” she yelled at him.
He shook his head, still laughing at her. “I’m sorry, I can’t. For you to expect me to is wrong, Ana.”
“I hate you,” she laughed, glaring at him in mock anger.
Grinning wide, he wrapped his arms around her and placed his forehead to hers. “If I love you, you have to love me, too.”
She smiled, feeling carefree for the first time in a long time, and the words escaped her lips without even a thought. “I do love you.”
Then she paused. Oh shit. Oh shit! Did I just say that out loud? Shit!
Frozen, all she could do was look into Cesare’s eyes. He’d gone silent as well. She really had no idea what to do next. She didn’t know how long they sat staring at each other, but the moment she opened her mouth to break the silence, Cesare’s lips were pressed to hers.
Something so powerfully intense shot through her body, forcing her to immediately cling to him; Anastacia could not explain it even if she tried. She kissed him hard. It felt so good … so, so fucking good. Anastacia was nearly lost. The way he was touching her, the way she touched him, she knew exactly where the kiss was headed, and she didn’t want him to stop. It took one thought that chose this moment to creep into her head.
If you move too fast, you get hurt.
Hurt. Anastacia had experienced hurt many times in her love life, and recently she had decided to break the cycle. If a man wanted to be with her, he had to court her. He couldn’t just expect her to get into bed with him. It didn’t matter if she loved Cesare. Getting unknowingly cast into the role of Angelo Salerno’s mistress again had made her realize she wanted more. Hell, she had even decided she would like to marry again. Maybe this time it’d actually work out for her.
Anastacia reluctantly pushed back from the kiss. Breathing hard, she gazed into Cesare’s eyes. “We have to stop before this goes too far.”
Cesare seemed to snap out of a trance and back to the present. “Oh shit,” he said breathlessly. “Fuck!” Guilt flashed across his face as he looked into her eyes. “I kissed you.” He said the words as if it were the worst thing in the word.
Anastacia frowned in confusion. “So what?”
“Ana, you are in a relationship with Angelo. He’s going to fucking kill me!” He helped her up before he shot up from his seat and paced the floor anxiously, raking his fingers through his hair. “God, I’m the worst fucking friend. I promised him I wouldn’t do this.”
Crossing her arms over her chest, Anastacia asked, “Do what?”
“I promised him I’d keep my distance, Ana!” he yelled. “He only agreed to not fight me about seeing you healthy if I promise we wouldn’t … you know.”
“We didn’t, ‘you know’,” she snapped. “And even if we did, it would be none of his fucking business. I don’t know what he told you, but he and I have been over for almost two months. Weeks before Carterina was taken.”
The expression on his face instantly changed to confusion. “What?”
“I ended it with him because he is with Cynthia! I refuse to be his whore again, so I let him go.”
“But he said—”
“He lied.” And it didn’t surprise her that he had either, the controlling bastard. “I’ve barely even talked to Angelo since the day I broke things off with him. You don’t have to do everything he says, Cesare. He’s the boss of your work, not your life.”
“I run my own life, Ana. It’s just,” he sighed, “I thought you were still together. I thought that we betrayed him … again.”
“We never betrayed him, Cesare.” Ever since the first time they’d made love, Cesare had always felt that they’d betrayed Angelo, but Anastacia had never thought that. She and Angelo had broken up after he had cheated on her with a prostitute, and called her numerous horrible names during a drunk phone call. That night Cesare came back to Italy to comfort her, that night they conceived their daughter. Gabriella Elizabeth was what they named her before she’d died within Anastacia’s womb.
“I told you long ago to stop calling the night we conceived Gabriella a night of betrayal, Cesare.” Anastacia hated when he did that. She hated it. It made her feel like he was saying that her death was a punishment for their actions. “She was made from love, not betrayal.”
Anastacia wrapped her arms around herself as she always did when she thought of the baby she lost … well, the two babies she’d lost. She couldn’t forget about Carter’s twin.
Cesare came to her and pulled her close to him. “No, I didn’t mean it like that, Ana.” Wrapping his arms around her, he kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry. I know how much you hate it when I do that. I apologize. I’m just … you stopped me from kissing you, so I thought that what Angelo had said to me was true. I thought that you were still with him.”
She shook her head. �
�I am not. I stopped you because I don’t want to be hurt again.”
“What do you mean, love. Who hurt you?”
She rested her head to his chest. “Angelo made me realize that I don’t want the same kind of relationships that I used to have. I don’t want to love in secret, I don’t want a fling, and I don’t want to share the man I love with another woman.” She looked up into his eyes. “I want to be loved, Cesare. I want to be cherished and put above everything else. I want an effortless, uncomplicated love because I’ve never had it before. Why don’t I deserve to be happy? Why don’t I deserve to have a perfect love, a perfect wedding, and all that other shit I missed out on when I was younger? I’ve been through so much bullshit, that I just can’t take complicated anymore. I’m ready to move on, I’m ready to be a good mother to my daughter. I want to smile. I would love to have some grandkids, and yes, I may want a husband. A real husband. I’m only forty-four years old. It’s too soon for me to give up on hoping for love.”
“You want to be courted?”
“Yes!” She was glad he got it without her actually having to say the words. “Is it too much to ask for a little romance? I want to go out on a date! I want to talk about something other than the past. I want flowers, and diamonds, and surprise romantic getaways. And I want it all from a man that isn’t fucking another woman. I want it from a man that only wants to be with me.”
There, she’d said it all out loud. She finally spoken her desires to someone else, and it felt so damn good.
“And all of this, you want it from Angelo?”
There it was. He’d asked the stupid forbidden question, and the damn broke loose. Cesare tried to comfort her, but she just shook her head and took several deep breaths until she’d calm once again. Fuck this depression. “Admittedly, I am finding the break-up between Angelo and me difficult,” not only him, but her recent loss of love for the deceased father of her daughter, “but I am getting through it. I know what I want, and Angelo Salerno will never be the man to give it to me. I’m okay with that, he made his choice. It just hurts that once again I put myself in the position to be hurt by him and I’m disgusted with my weakness.” She took a deep breath and shrugged. “I am a strong woman. I will survive. I just need time, that’s all.”
“Because you still love him?”
“Unfortunately, Cesare, there will always be a part of me that still loves him.” Coming to the conclusion that her and Angelo were not meant to be hurt like hell. Anastacia still wasn’t over him, and it pissed her the fuck off.
She felt Cesare’s hand on her face as he wiped her tears and lifted her head until their eyes met.
“Ana,” he said.
She sniffled. “Yes.”
“Next week is the anniversary of our daughter’s death. When she died I wasn’t financially equipped to provide her with a head stone, but once Angelo and I got S.O. on its feet I was able to provide her with a very nice one. Every year on the anniversary of her death I go to Italy alone and sit with her. I bring her flowers, talk to her, and imagine what type of shenanigans she’d be into if she were on this earth. It is one of the things that has helped me heal since what happened. I was wondering … if you would like to make the trip with me.”
Yes, Anastacia was crying again, it had become her thing today. She kind of liked it.
“She is buried on private land and a gorgeous garden surrounds her grave. We will stay close to her in a peaceful bed and breakfast I enjoy for my visits there. I usually stay for a week to clear my head and relax, and spend time with Gabriella—”
“Yes!” she said happily, not needing to hear anymore. “Yes, Cesare. I would love to go with you. I’ll talk to Carterina about it and she will forgive my absence.” She hesitated, wanting to talk to him about something else, but not knowing what he’d say. “Cesare, I think that maybe we should talk to the kids about—”
Cesare nodded before she finished. “I agree. It’s time to tell them.”
“I know you were worried about hurting Kyle, and I don’t want to see him hurt either, but they need to know. They need to know that they are related.”
“We will talk to him together. Then if you’d like, we can take Mikilo, Kyle, and Carterina aside and tell them about their sister together.”
Anastacia smiled. It was funny how all roads lead her back to her sweet, sweet Cesare. Maybe the universe was trying to tell her something. Hopefully …
“Yes, Cesare. That would be perfect.”
Chapter 12: Toxic . . .
Angelo had been standing silently, watching them for the past five minutes, and they still didn’t notice he was there. Angelo was sure that Cesare wouldn’t be doing what he was doing if he knew that he was standing in the kitchen watching them.
His jaw tightened with a vicious anger.
They looked like a couple; comfortable, intimate, and happy. Anastacia stood at the counter, mixing something in a large bowl, while Cesare stood behind her and instructed her on what to do next.
Cesare reached forward and grabbed a small ramekin of what looked like powdered sugar, and poured it into the mixing bowl. Placing his hand on Anastacia’s, he slowed her stirring while he rotated the bowl.
“Keep it steady like this,” he said to her softly. “We must be sure it’s folded into the icing well.”
“Can I taste it now?” she asked with a soft smile.
Cesare chuckled. “It’s not finished yet, Anabelle.”
“But it looks so tasty,” she giggled. “Carterina is going to love this. It combines three of her favorite things to eat: cookies, cream cheese icing, and fruit.”
“Now if we could only find a way to incorporate Doritos in here somehow.”
Anastacia laughed. “We can just put those on the side.”
“She will have some with her lunch then.”
She nodded as her smile widened. “She will be surprised that I cooked.”
“Pleasantly surprised,” he corrected. “She will be pleased that you did something so kind for her. You will see how much she loves you, yes?”
“We can only hope.”
“She loves you, Ana. This gesture will only make her love you more.” He kissed the top off her head. “You are a good mother, Anabelle, stop doubting your sweet daughter’s love for you. All we can do as parents is our best. You’ve done better than your best considering the circumstances, sweetheart. Carterina is a very understanding young woman.”
“You’re so sweet, Cesare.” Turning to face him, she rested her head against his chest. “You finish stirring. My arms are tired,” she pouted, wrapping her arms around his waist.
Pouting? Anastacia Stone didn’t pout. And what was she wearing? Angelo was positive that he’d never seen Anastacia like this before. Every morning when Anastacia Stone woke up she was dressed and put together before the sun completely rose. The Anastacia in the kitchen now was anything but put together. Her hair was messy like she hadn’t brushed it in weeks, and she wore extremely baggy purple pajamas with an assortment of different puppies on them. The outfit was nearly falling off, and her entire shoulder was exposed. He noted how many times Cesare touched her exposed skin, he’d even saw Cesare’s hand slip beneath the fabric of her shirt as he began to rub her back and they swayed back and forth.
“You rest, then we will finish them together.”
She nodded, and then looked up into his eyes. “Do I still get all of the credit even though I’m taking a break?”
Chuckling, he kissed her forehead. He dipped his finger in a small bowl of flour on the counter and tapped her nose with it, leaving a large dot of flour on her nose.
They laughed together.
“There you go, Anabelle,” Cesare said through laughter. “The mark of a good cook.”
“That is the mark of a messy cook.”
“Look at this counter, Ana. You are a messy cook.” She playfully pinched his side. “Hey,” he warned through a chuckle, “no violence in the kitchen. You know the rules.”
<
br /> “Yes, Cesare,” she whispered, feigning sweetness.
“All right, now turn around and watch.”
She did as he’d instructed. The two of them were completely lost in their own world. Angelo continued to remain silent as he watched them decorate thick, round sugar cookies with icing and fresh fruits formed into various designs. Jealousy and rage made a slowly crept through his entire body. He and Anastacia had never done anything like that before. Why was it that she was so guarded when she was with him, and with Cesare she looked so … free?
Angelo didn’t even need to ask, he could already tell they were fucking each other.
Once they finished, Cesare cleaned the counter and dishes while Anastacia sat on the clean area and watched, eating one of the desserts they’d just made.
“How long will you stand there before you make your presence known?” Anastacia asked as she took another bite of her cookie.
Cesare looked at her with a confused frown, but she turned to face Angelo. Angelo didn’t say a word; he was too angry to speak. He was sure right about now he’d say the wrong thing anyway.
Anastacia’s demeanor immediately went cold and she cocked her head to the side. “Manners, Angelo,” she said, her tone empty of emotion. “It’s impolite to stare.”
Angelo smirked. “Am I not permitted to gaze upon my love? It’s been so long since I have stood in the same room as you. What if I’ve missed you?”
She let out a bitter laugh. “I’m sure you haven’t, Angelo. You have your Cynthia to keep you occupied.”
Angelo chuckled coldly. “Well, when she’s not around, I miss you.”
“Angelo,” Cesare chided, “that was below the belt.”
Angelo waved a dismissive hand toward him, causing Anastacia to roll her eyes. “You’re a fucking child, Angelo. You’ll never change, will you?”
“And obviously neither will you, Anastacia. You drop one, then it’s on to the next one. Shall Cesare and I discuss when it will be my turn to fuck you again?”
“Angelo!” Cesare yelled angrily. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Dangerous Beauty: Part Three: This is War Page 22