“Zoe is amazing,” he declares. “Every man on Exodus would want to be with her.”
“What does every man have to do with it?” I scold him. “What about you? It’s okay to talk about
your feelings. Nobody’s going to hunt you down and skin you alive if you do.”
“Guys don’t do that,” he teases me. “I can say that I liked kissing Zoe and I hope it will happen
again. Satisfied?”
“Yes, actually. More than you know. Zoe is wonderful.”
“Is this why you wanted to see me?” he says. “What were you doing in there anyway?”
“How about we put some distance between us and the lab?” I say as I push him down the
corridor.
“What’s going on, Freya?”
“It’s about something you mentioned to Zoe. Something about Ella. That she made a serious
judgment error.”
Joshua narrows his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re saying,” he says.
Okay, so it’s not going to be easy. “I thought we were being honest,” I say.
He considers my words and works something out in his head. “Honesty on one hand can be
betrayal on the other.”
“Sounds more like betrayal on either hand,” I remind him.
“This is a personal matter for Ella,” he says. “The fate of the world is not at stake. Do you ever
just let things go, Freya?”
I decide to let this go. I have upset him and suddenly feel I’ve crossed some invisible line of
social politeness they did not teach us in Plantation-8. I apologize.
“Fine,” he says. “If it’s that important to you, but you have to remember that Ella is a friend and I don’t like this one bit.”
“Noted,” I say. “She will never know we spoke of it.”
“Ella was responsible for some serious damage in one of the generators that power up the
greenhouses when her technicians installed new communication software in Sector Two,” he says.
“Okay, let me stop you there. How is that Ella’s private life?” I say.
“Be patient. That’s not the judgment error. That was an honest mistake albeit a serious one. The
problem is when Eldritch asked for a report on the accident, Ella decided to leave out a very critical part of the information she provided.”
“Which was?”
“The software was tampered with. It wasn’t a glitch. She should have tested it anyway before
the installation so that was no excuse. But she didn’t report the fact.”
“I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t she include that in the report? It would be in her best interest
to prove she was not solely responsible for the accident.”
Joshua sighs. “Because Finn was supposed to be in charge of the software,” he says. “Ella left
him in charge of the key and code.”
“Why did she do that?” I say more perplexed than ever.
“Finn was helping her with the project. They do a lot of things together, you know.”
I nod. I know it only too well.
“Apparently, Finn left the code unlocked for a short time,” Joshua goes on. “What happened next
is anyone’s guess. But there were parts of the code missing when the software was tested after the
disaster in the greenhouses. It wasn’t the same. Ella lied to protect Finn. And she didn’t even tell him any of it. He’s in the dark as far as I know. That is how much she cares about him. Not what you
wanted to hear, I bet.”
“Something doesn’t sound right,” I say. “Finn is hardly the careless type.”
“I got it from Ella herself. She wouldn’t lie to me.”
“If you say so.”
“Freya, don’t make me regret trusting you with this. I’ve known Ella since we were children.
Like Finn and you.”
Last time I checked Joshua and Ella were not children together in a torturous slave colony, but
whatever, I get it. “Don’t worry, I won’t betray your trust,” I say. “Thank you for telling me all this.
And for being so nice to Zoe.”
Joshua smiles. “It is without effort that I am nice to Zoe.”
“Then maybe you owe me one,” I say.
“And if I did,” he says, “I’d think this makes us even.”
*
“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” Zoe says when I enter the meeting hall almost half an hour after
the meeting was supposed to start. “You were right behind us and then you disappeared.”
“Long story,” I say. I lean in closer to her. “I had a talk with Joshua,” I whisper. “About that
thing you told me the other day.”
I can see that she doesn’t get it. She looks at me with squinting eyes trying to figure what I’m
talking about. Then it hits her. “Oh, the thing about the error of judgment?” she says.
I nod and look around at the neat room equipped with technology and standard office supplies.
This hall will be our official meeting place from now on right in Sector 3 where all official things
happen. We’re moving up on the Exodus ladder.
All eyes are on me now. I take in random images: Tilly and Scout smiling at me, Theo and Nya
holding hands, Finn sitting opposite Damian, Biscuit pointing at the chair that has been saved for me at the head of the table. I look at it but I’m reluctant to take it.
“I don’t think I should be heading these meetings,” I say. “We should take turns from now on.”
“You are our final weapon,” Damian says. “No plan can be enacted without you being
comfortable with it and that means you have final approval.”
“Right,” I say taking my seat. “There are two main things to be discussed today. Damian’s return
and his new role in the Saviors and also…” I stop talking and look at Theo. “This next thing that Theo will explain.”
Theo musters up his most studious expression as he brings out his touchpad and connects the
feed to the wall screen. Rabbit switches off the light and emerald green patterns of code light up the screen like a Chinese fan.
As Theo outlines the facts, and shortly thereafter, the room remains quiet. Then, questions start
coming from all directions. The news hits the Saviors out of the blue and for the first time in a while, I see them energized and antsy.
“One at a time,” Damian says sternly. “I go away for a while and you turn into a bunch of
blabbering fools. To accomplish anything, we have to follow some type of protocol.”
Before I know it, he’s up by the screen on the wall evaluating all pieces of information and
answering questions in order.
“Damian’s back,” Finn mutters under his breath.
“Don’t say it like that,” I whisper. “You know this is a good thing.”
“You know it enough for both of us,” he teases. “And I’m just glad you didn’t mention Ella for
two minutes.”
Now’s probably not the time to tell him I’ve been eavesdropping on Ella and Lainey. Or that
I’ve heard some pretty interesting things from Joshua. “Ella? Who’s that?” I say.
“Right. You’re annoying. Maybe we should listen,” he says. “Your own personal Savior is
talking.”
“Idiot,” I say, but he’s right. We should listen. The Saviors are back together.
*
I HEAD TO THE DINING HALL with Tobi in my arms as Pip has instructed me to do for
reasons known only to her. I don’t mind it though. Tobi enjoys attention and being around more
people could be good for him.
When I go through the sliding doors, I know something’s not right. The dining hall is deserted
with only one dim blue lamp on in the b
ack of the room.
“Hello?” I say and a second later balloons go up in the air and confetti falls down in thick
handfuls. I blink and within that instant the room is filled with familiar faces that pop up from behind tables and counters.
“Tobi is six months old today,” Pip says as she runs to greet us and kiss the baby. “Happy half
birthday, Tobi.”
“Guys, this is crazy. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a half birthday,” I say as I blow confetti off my lips and nose.
“We couldn’t wait any longer,” Rabbit says. “It’s the first proper birthday party the Saviors ever
had.”
He’s right. None of us know the exact date we were born on. We know the month and year but
not the day. Maybe we should just pick one.
“We have presents for Tobi,” Tilly says.
I look over at the table she’s pointing at to see a pile of carefully wrapped parcels in all sizes
and colors. “He’s too young to appreciate presents,” I say but deep down I can’t help but feel moved
they all have brought something for my little Tobi.
“Maybe,” Nya says, “but hopefully his mother will appreciate them.”
“Nya,” Zoe scolds her. “You have no filter at all, do you? Everything just comes out.”
Nya shrugs. “I got him that shock bow I was telling you about,” she says as she winks at me.
Zoe is about to give her a piece of her mind again when I cut in. “She’s joking, Zoe. She
wouldn’t be Nya if she wasn’t.”
I take Tobi to the table and point at all the colorful parcels. “Look, Tobi,” I say. “All these
presents are for you. Can you believe that?”
“I think he does,” I hear Damian’s voice behind me. He steps up next to me and takes Tobi in his
arms.
“You know everything’s yours, don’t you, little guy?” he says. “You don’t know me yet but you
will. I’m your dad.”
I’m stunned to hear him talk like that. That fierce loyalty of his that we could always depend on,
the one that vanished after he was taken hostage in Plantation-15, has been released again today and
this time it’s all for our son.
Our sweet boy that has a little bit of both of us in him. I know now that happiness is not an
impossibility, not even in our world. Even after all the terrible things that have happened and all the terrible things that have yet to come. And they will. I know it as well as Damian, as well as
everybody else in this room.
But it doesn’t matter.
Happiness is a place we always remember and always want to return to, but today it is actually
in our possession. The sun is on our shoulders as Doc used to say in good times. He said the sun was
a vitamin, he said it entered our blood and nourished us. He said that love was much the same way, it could feed and bolster us physically, not just emotionally.
Damian puts his left arm around me as he holds Tobi with the other. He lowers his head and
whispers in my ear, “I’m sorry.”
I can’t be sure what he means, what he’s sorry for exactly. Not being there for Tobi during the
first months of his life? Letting me down when all I needed in the world was him? Turning his back
on the Saviors when we lacked any true direction? Allowing his demons to defeat his true self? I
don’t know and I don’t care. All I care about is the way his breath tickles my neck when he whispers
his apology.
We stay in this familial embrace for a while, the three of us. Then Damian exhales hard, closes
his eyes, leans in and plants a very public kiss on my cheek near my lips. Apology accepted.
7
The training ring is quiet and colder than usual in the early morning. I set out as soon as I woke
up leaving Tobi with Pip. I find it funny that we still follow Earth time, adjusting our watches to the time the sun rises and sets in North America. According to the digital clock on the wall it’s 6:30 a.m.
right now.
I work hard at improving my fast twitch muscle fiber these days. Although I’m quicker than my
first days as a Savior, I still have a long way to go to approach the reflex speed of Rabbit, Nya or
Finn. I’d be an easy target if a magnetic knife was to be thrown at me in the middle of a battle.
With a sweep of my hand I use the sensory receptor to create shimmering virtual knives. I hold
them suspended several feet away from my body before I direct them at me at the speed I expect they
would gather in real time. I avoid the first three but get hit by the fourth on the arm. I imagine the pain this would have caused had it been a real magnetic knife. I casually rub the spot with my free hand as if it were truly hurt.
I think of Kroll again and how nothing can penetrate his skin when he has turned it into a thick
armor. At the same time, I get a weird feeling in my stomach that I haven’t experienced before. I
realize that Kroll’s watching me from the door. I turn around quickly, receptor in hand.
“Kroll, you startled me,” I say.
Kroll takes a step closer. “How did you know I was there?” he says.
I shrug. “I saw you, I guess.”
“How?” he insists.
I deactivate the receptor. “What are you trying to get at?”
“You didn’t see me. You had your back turned to me. You didn’t hear me because I didn’t make
any sound. You just knew I was there.”
I try to process his meaning. He’s right. I don’t remember seeing him or hearing him before
turning around. Yet, I had a feeling he was there before I saw him. Odd, to say the least.
“Okay,” I say. “You’re probably right. But what’s your point?”
“Our energies are connected,” he says. “It’s not just me who feels the bond. I think you do as
well. In a different way of course. But if you tried, you could likely divine my thoughts.”
“You mean I could read your mind?” I say laughing. “I’m sure that would be good for both of
us.”
Kroll steps into the training ring. His raw size is not something I can remember until he is right
there towering over me, making me feel like an ant. Even more so when I’m barefoot as I am now.
“I don’t respond to sarcasm,” he says. “If that was your intent?”
“Actually you just responded to my sarcasm with a bit of your own.”
He stares down at me with his penetrating eyes. We are way past the point where he could make
me feel uneasy, but there is a new quality to his mood that worries me.
“Why are you here, Kroll?”
“I heard you call me,” he says.
I begin to feel impatient. “What has gotten into you today? I need to practice and you’re not
making much sense.”
“Deep down you know, don’t you?” he says moving toward me.
“Kroll!” I shout. “Stop. I forbid you to take one more step.”
He freezes on the spot but he keeps staring at me with an intensity I don’t like one bit. I’ve
allowed him too many liberties. I have to remember that Kroll is not Wudak. There are times his
behavior seems combative somehow.
“How do you do that?” he says.
“What?”
“Control me so effectively.”
“I have no idea,” I admit.
“And I have no idea why I know it when you need me but I do.”
“The threat was a virtual threat. Knives I created with energy, not actual knives. I was in no
danger. I did not actually need you,” I say as I reach for a towel to wipe sweat from my forehead and upper lip.
/> Kroll gets to me with three long strides. He grabs me by the elbow. “Maybe it’s the receptor
sending me a warning,” he says. “Maybe there’s a chip in my brain that’s connected to your lethal
gadget. Maybe there’s a chip in your brain as well.”
I pull my arm back and stare at him, pleased. “Very good, Kroll. I never thought of that
possibility,” I say slowly. “And I did get a weird sensation when you were watching me. We could
have Doc…”
The sudden memory of Doc stops me cold. Doc can’t do anything. Doc isn’t with us anymore.
He’s dead and I’m still here. There is a kind of death for survivors, too. A place inside the soul
forever stunned by what’s lost.
“We could have someone in the labs scan you in search of minute chips and tracking devices,” I
say.
He shakes his head. “You don’t get it,” he says. “It is a gift that we can sense each other’s
presence. If we practice together, we will discover a lot more that we can do. We have undiscovered
power. Together, we might be invincible.”
Power. That hateful word. The word that has led entire civilizations to disaster and desolation.
“I don’t care for power,” I tell him.
“Do you care for Earth?” he says.
The answer is so obvious I don’t feel like obliging him with it. “You’ve repeatedly said you’d
protect me with your life,” I say instead. “If it was because you thought I’d grant you some form of
divine power, you’re mistaken.”
Kroll grinds his teeth so loud my skin crawls. “You insult me,” he says. “You know I will
protect you and your own till I am no more. You know I was designed to have no choice in the
matter.” He pauses and to my surprise I see some kind of softer expression on his face. “No, it is
beyond that now. I serve you willingly, Freya. Sliman don’t rage against fate like humans do. We
accept it faster, easier. I have accepted my new role. I do not seek power over humans. Your cause is my cause now and I mean to win. Because I always do.”
“I didn’t mean to offend you,” I say.
“You didn’t offend me. It is I who needs better manners. I haven’t had much chance to practice
those,” he says.
I reach out to shake his hand. He’s slow to react and when he does, his formal bearing is almost
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