by Piper Rayne
“Are you sure you don’t just want her to forget her life here? Forget Adam?” my dad asks in a sterner voice.
I could probably sneak out of this conversation. The kids playing over at the gazebo are having way more fun than me.
“Whatever happened that your son is being so tight-lipped about is the reason she left. They were over before the accident.” Susan continues to stir her coffee.
“All she said was she wasn’t happy,” I chime in.
Susan says nothing and rolls her eyes as though she doesn’t believe me. “Convenient that you’re already seeing someone.”
I slide out of the booth to leave before my anger gets the better of me, but I stand at the end of the table, unable to keep the words inside. “Alicia and I are a new thing, and it isn’t serious. I’ve had the year from hell without your daughter in my life. I don’t want to share that with you, but I will so you’ll stop assuming this is my fault. She walked out on me. I didn’t cheat on her, I didn’t hit her, I didn’t lie to her. There was no reason for her to leave me, but she did. Now she’s back in town, not even remembering why she decided to walk out on our marriage. If you want to let all those memories stay hidden, for her never to become the Lucy we all love, then shame on you, Susan.”
She leans back, gaping at my dad as though he should put me over his knee and spank me. “Are you honestly questioning my intentions for Lucy’s recovery?”
I huff. “I’m questioning your intentions of making sure Lucy remembers every part of her past. Maybe your hatred for our family has twisted your decision-making ability.”
“Adam.” My dad clears his throat, but before he can add another word, I continue.
“Let’s be honest, Susan. You’re afraid I can worm myself into your daughter’s heart again. Then if she doesn’t remember why she left me, there’s a good chance we might get back together and that’d be your worst nightmare. Even if I was the one who took care of your daughter, loved her with my entire heart, and you were the one who chose not to come to our wedding and wrote her off.”
“Adam,” my dad says again.
I lean in over the table, lowering my voice, thankful we’re not in Sunrise Bay. “But you don’t have to worry because losing Lucy made me feel dead inside. I never want to feel that pain again. It was like someone put my heart through a meat grinder. So stick around and give her memory a chance to come back, but you don’t have to worry, I’m never going to love Lucy, or any other woman, ever again.”
I storm out of the diner, the bell chiming as my goodbye.
Since I drove us all, I head to the Lake Starlight gazebo and sit my ass down on a bench, waiting until they’re ready to leave, which I hope is soon.
A girl kicking a soccer ball around with her brother looks at me. “Hey, you’re Rylan’s brother, right?”
I huff. “Calista Bailey,” I say, recognizing her. She and Rylan are coached by the same instructor.
She looks around. “Is he here?”
I shake my head, watching her footwork that’s so much like Rylan’s. You never see my kid brother without a soccer ball, and from the few times I’ve witnessed these two together in lessons, she and Rylan are evenly matched.
“Why are you here?” Calista asks.
A boy comes by and kicks the ball out from her feet.
“Dion!” she yells.
I nod toward the diner. “Breakfast.”
“That’s my dad’s place.” Calista points at the maroon awning with gold lettering that reads Terra and Mare. It’s the fanciest place in Lake Starlight, so it’s usually a special occasion or a date if you go there. “He’s not open for breakfast though.”
I nod. “He’s a great chef. I’ve eaten there.”
The Dion kid kicks the ball, and it hits Calista in the ass. She runs off after him, irritated.
“I’ll tell Rylan you said hello,” I say to her retreating back.
She stops and turns around. “I didn’t tell you to do that.”
“I thought you guys were friends?”
Her forehead wrinkles. “I am not friends with Rylan Greene.”
I hold up my hands and chuckle. “Okay then, I won’t mention even seeing you.”
“Good.”
She kicks the ball to her brother as a man comes out of Terra and Mare. He jogs across the street and steals the ball. I recognize him as the chef from Terra and Mare, so he must be Calista’s dad.
“Adam!” my dad yells across the lawn.
I stand, meeting him and Susan at my truck. She sits next to me, and the twenty-minute drive back to the inn is uncomfortable and awkward. Pulling up to the inn, I’m happy she says nothing to me as she opens her door to climb out. There was a time in my relationship with Lucy when I wanted Susan and Lloyd Davis to welcome me into their family. I tried hard to get them to approve of me. Those days are gone now.
I’m about to reverse out of the parking spot when a Cadillac pulls up and blocks me in. My grandma is in the driver’s seat, her friend Dori in the passenger seat. To my surprise, Lucy steps out of the back, covered in mud, and starts toward Susan, not looking happy.
So with a sigh, I put the truck in park and climb out, along with my dad. Will my life ever be normal? I’m thinking not, at this point. Who else can say their estranged wife returns to them with no memory of leaving?
Add on the fact that I lied to Susan in that diner. I never stopped loving Lucy, but the hell if anyone in this town will ever know.
Pulling into the inn and seeing my mom walking away from Adam’s truck spurs the anger that diminished during my breakfast with Ethel and Dori at Two Brothers and an Egg. I slam the car door and Mom turns around.
“You were supposed to be packing,” she says. “What happened to you?” She steps toward me, but I put up my hand to stop her.
“She slipped down a hill,” Dori says, running her hand down my arm as if we’re old friends. I still don’t remember her, even after she quizzed me during my pancake breakfast while the rest of the people at the diner whispered and pointed at me.
“When? Where?” My mom’s gaze falls down my body as though she’s a doctor and could see if something was actually wrong.
“I just lost my footing,” I say, brushing her off.
The door of the inn opens and Mandi steps out, her red hair pulled into a ponytail higher up on her head. She walks over to Adam and Hank, who I hadn’t yet realized are here. The three of them watch the scene unfold. Adam’s hands are stuffed into his pockets and he’s rocking back on his heels.
I get distracted from looking at him by someone snapping their fingers in front of my face.
My mom.
“This is why you can’t go running in an area you aren’t familiar with. Come on, we’re going to pack and then we’re leaving.” My mom tugs on my arm, but I pry it out of her grasp.
“Just let her be, Susan,” Ethel says.
My mom stops and turns toward the Greenes. “Do you people have anything other to do than to bother us? She’s not your family anymore.”
“Susan,” Ethel says in that tone like everyone is family in Sunrise Bay.
“No, Ethel. The last person I need a lecture from is you.”
Dori steps closer to my mom. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Let her be, she’s always been a stubborn one.” Ethel crosses her arms.
“Please, you people act like you’re all holier-than-thou, when in reality, your entire family started out taking what’s other’s.”
“Mom,” I say.
Ethel shakes her head and smiles at me. “Let her speak her piece. It’s been a long time coming, right, Susan? So let’s get it all out in the open. Maybe it will spur some memories for Lucy.”
Mom huffs and sighs as though she’s about to throw a tantrum. “I am not going to sit here and rehash history when it doesn’t even matter. I’m taking Lucy home.”
“This is her home,” Adam says, stepping away from his family.
Even know
ing something must’ve happened to make me leave him, I can’t help the way my heart flutters at his declaration.
“Not anymore,” Mom says. “You aren’t part of her life.”
“She views me as her husband still, and I’d like to help her find her memories.” He briefly looks at me but turns away as our eyes meet.
“What?” My mom appears surprised.
“Listen to the boy,” Ethel says.
I catch a proud smile on Hank’s face.
“Your mom doesn’t like my family, Luce… y. Years ago, my grandma”—he motions to Ethel—“found herself torn between two brothers and she chose my grandfather. Some people feel as though my grandma did something bad by following her heart. Then when my dad married his cousin’s ex-wife, Marla, some people saw the entire thing happening all over again since Marla used to be married to my grandfather’s brother’s son. Your mom is one of those people.”
Jeez, I feel as though someone needs to draw me a detailed family tree.
A flash of a memory comes to mind. My mom standing over me at the kitchen table, telling me I couldn’t go to prom. That the Greene family I was spending time with didn’t care about people’s feelings. They were selfish and one day Adam would break my heart.
My head slowly raises, and my breath weighs heavy in my chest at the realization why my mom did everything she could to keep me from coming to Sunrise Bay.
“You,” I say, not even really sure if I’m referring to Adam or my mom.
Adam glances back at Hank and he nods, hiding a small smile.
My mom points at herself. “What? Did you remember something?”
I swallow past the dry lump in my throat. “You hate him,” I say more to myself than her. “That’s why.”
She puts her hand on my arm, but I shrug off her touch.
“You were purposely trying to keep me from remembering Adam.” I step back.
“No. That’s not it.” She looks over her shoulder. “This is ridiculous. Your family thinks they own this town because there’s so many of you.” She turns back my way.
This entire time, I trusted her. I trusted that she wanted what I wanted. To remember who I was and to get back to being that person. But then all the doctor’s visits flash in my head. The ones where she said it would be okay, that we’d try to get my memories back, but if I couldn’t, I could still live a fulfilling life, meet someone.
“You were trying to hide me,” I say. My heart races and I bend forward to catch my breath.
“Lucy,” my mom says.
I shake my head. “Don’t talk to me.” I stand up straight and walk by her toward Adam. He steps back at my approach. My stomach knots, hating where we’re at. “Tell me more.”
He shrugs. “There isn’t much else to say. She was never okay with us, and because of that, your family wasn’t at our wedding.”
“I wasn’t…” My hand hovers over my stomach. “Pregnant?”
“No.” His gaze falls to my mom over my shoulder, speaking directly to her. “We married out of love…” His gaze shifts back to me. “At least I thought we did.”
“And they couldn’t accept that?”
He shakes his head.
“Stop listening to them.” My mom comes up behind me.
“Why?” I yell and turn around. “He’s the only one who’s telling me anything. He’s the one who keeps spurring new memories for me. Not like you, who’s hiding things from me, hiding my past because you didn’t approve of us. This is my life.”
“We’re going back to Idaho, let’s go.” She tries for my arm again, and again I yank it out of her hold.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I say.
Mom sighs. “And where will you go, Lucy? You have no job, no money.”
“This is where I need to be.” I have tears in my eyes.
“You need to be with people you can trust.” She holds out her hand, and I back away from her. “You’re being foolish. All he wants is for you to come back so he can break your heart again. You don’t even know what happened to make you leave. You probably found out some secret, since all of them have one, and left him.”
“Stop!” Ethel screams, stepping between my mom and me. “Enough about my family. Do you understand me?”
My eyes grow wide, but my mom’s stance grows more agitated.
“Did I have a history with both the Greene brothers? I did. But I loved my husband, and we made a family together. Let’s remember that Jeff Greene ruined his marriage all on his own before Hank was even in the picture.” She turns around. “Sorry, Mandi.”
Mandi shakes her head and waves it off.
“He didn’t appreciate Marla and didn’t honor their marriage,” Ethel says. “So please step down from the high horse you’re on and look around. These two kids fell in love a long time ago. Now I don’t know what made Lucy leave. Unfortunately, we might never find out, but they both deserve to do everything in their power to bring back that memory and find peace. But if I hear one more bad word about my family out of your mouth, you will be sorry.”
“Yeah, she will,” Dori says.
“Dori.” Hank shakes his head, but he and Mandi snicker.
Mom throws her hands in the air. “I’m so over this place. Let’s go, Lucy.”
“I’m not going,” I say to her retreating back. She stops at the inn’s door and turns around. “I have to stay here and figure this out.”
“Suit yourself,” she says and storms into the inn.
Everyone is quiet for a moment, and the realization of what I just decided hits me.
“Ethel, Dori, Hank, the restaurant is trying out a new cinnamon roll recipe. Want to give me your opinion?” Mandi asks.
“Yeah,” Hank says.
“I do love my sweets,” Ethel says.
“Try and keep me away from those cinnamon rolls,” Dori says.
They disappear inside the restaurant attached to the inn.
“Thank you,” I say, unable to look Adam directly in the eye.
“Don’t thank me.”
“But you made me realize she wasn’t looking out for me.” I step closer.
He turns his body so we’re not facing one another. “I guess I still like to piss your mom off.”
So what just happened used to be a normal occurrence? I nod, not remembering any of their previous spats.
“Plus, I can’t find closure if you don’t remember why you walked out on me.”
“I wish I had answers for you,” I say, still amazed that I walked out on him. Why would I ever leave him when everything inside me says I love him, that we were happy? “Do you have photos? Of us that I could have?”
His gaze rises and he sighs but nods.
“Could I see them?”
“Sure. I can bring them here for you.”
I shuffle my feet, unable to believe how uncomfortable and awkward it is between us. All I want to do is jump into his arms and hold him tight. “Where did we live?”
He’s silent for so long, I’m unsure if he’s going to respond. “I rent it out on one of those home-sharing websites. I can’t take you there.”
“Oh, I hoped it might help. Maybe I could drive by the outside?”
“Ask one of my siblings. They can…” He inhales deeply and squeezes his eyes closed. “I’ll take you there Saturday. I’m off and I can get you in before the next renter comes.”
“That would be great,” I say, unsure what else to say. “Thank you.”
“Stop thanking me.” His phone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket, looking at the screen. “I might want your memory to come back more than you. I gotta go.” His thumb slides over the screen as he walks away. “Hey, baby,” he answers and climbs into his truck.
I act distracted and not fazed at all that he uses some generic term of endearment for the new girl in his life as a memory resurfaces. He was more original at the age of sixteen.
Junior Year of High School
“What are you guys going as?” Cora asked
when we placed our lunch trays on the table and sat down.
I eyed Adam, who was in deep conversation with Toby about the homecoming game. He didn’t much care about the dance, but more about beating our rivals, Lake Starlight High School.
“I was searching all the Broadway shows last night.” Cora cracked open her pop and took a sip.
“And what did you decide?”
She shrugged. “I’d like to do Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, but an expulsion isn’t going to help me get out of this town.”
Cora had wanted to get the hell out of Sunrise Bay and Alaska for as long as I’d known her. Her grades were good, plus she was the student body president and played on the girls’ soccer team. It was bound to happen for her. But her future saddened me because I never wanted to leave Sunrise Bay. I loved our town and everyone who lived there.
“Then there’s Kinky Boots.” She laughed, and I loved hearing her laugh because it had a magical way of making everyone around her happy. It was one of the reasons she was the class president.
“You could get away with Chicago probably.” I ate my fry and side-glanced at Adam as he pulled a notebook out of his backpack and wrote down a football play for Toby and a few of the other players crowded around them.
“That’s a good idea. At least I won’t be in some big puffy dress,” Cora said, then elbowed me. “What’s Adam think?”
“He doesn’t even care about the dance. I was asking him last night about what we could go as and all he could talk about was how much they had to win and how Nick isn’t fast enough off the line—”
“Give him a break. He’s under a lot of pressure. I mean, his brother got a scholarship to a huge school last year.”
Cora was right. Xavier, Adam’s brother, had gotten a full ride to the University of Michigan the year before. Everyone in town sent him off with a parade and the expectation that he’d be returning as a professional player. Adam had gotten Xavier’s spot as starting varsity quarterback and he’d only been a junior. But he felt the pressure to continue the winning streak his brother had started three years ago.