by Lee, India
“Ugh!” Claire groaned. “Once I have the money to go to L.A., you’re introducing me to all the beautiful people, Madison. Specifically Tyler and Liam, because ow ow.” She pretended to touch her tongue with the tip of her finger before making a sizzling noise. Madison’s eyes gave a nervous flutter as she watched the girls laugh and joke around about who would get Liam and who would get Tyler.
“Yeah, but,” Madison started warily, her pale blue eyes darting back and forth between Chrissy and Claire. “It’s… not like we hang out all the time.” It’s not like we hang out at all. Immediately, she spotted the disappointment on her old roommates’ faces. Crap. She put on a winning smile. “I mean, we did talk on set though, and we got to know each other there…”
She watched her roommates’ shoulders slump ever so slightly. It was obvious that she wasn’t coming through with the juicy stories that they wanted to hear. In their brief exchanges while she was out west, Madison had painted a life of Hollywood glamour so bright and promising that it should have been chock full of amazing tales that she could casually relay to her old friends upon their reunion. That was what they were expecting and sadly weren’t going to get.
Because nothing about her time out in the Hollywood world was what she imagined it’d be. Her talent and attractiveness got her as far as the role and she no doubt had the attention of every crewmember on set. But to her shock and disappointment, her co-stars were different. For the most part, everything was professional and truly contained to work. And Madison soon learned “work” extended to the parties and after-parties they would attend as a cast and that her interactions with her cast mates were truly as professional as they came. Liam Brody, the notorious womanizer, was surprisingly uninterested in her. He spent the least amount of time on set, coming in and doing his scenes and leaving as soon as he was cleared. During press events and after-parties, he hung out with the throngs of people he already knew. They were mostly lingerie and swimsuit models, as gorgeous in real life as they were on commercials and billboards. All the talk about lighting and makeup and airbrushing doing most of the work suddenly seemed like bullshit in their presence. Besides, Liam seemed to be driven by name and fame. The women he went after were women that were already known, that every man wanted and every woman wanted to be.
In high school, she was that girl. Madison had nothing but the sunniest of futures in front of her and everyone around her knew it. She was every superlative there was, confident in her ability to succeed through her beauty and charm. Back then, every girl she knew was in love with Tyler Chase but none of them could seriously, actually entertain the idea of being with him. It was unrealistic, simply a dream. Madison didn’t feel the same way. She was sure, given the chance to be in the same room as Tyler, that she could gain his attention in a manner that no one else could. She had bragged about it back in high school, smiling smugly as her friends agreed with her.
But among those high school friends was Gemma Hunter. Gemma who had somehow managed to keep her double life a secret from her unsuspecting classmates. Insecure and shaky, pathetic little Gemma who was somehow also international pop sensation, Queen Bee. Madison always knew there was something off about her. She had always suspected that Gemma Hunter wasn’t the sweet, unsuspecting girl that she had presented to Beauford High that day she came skipping in as Gavin’s shy little sister.
After graduating and heading to NYU, Madison was happy to leave everything about Gemma behind her. But before class one day when she was warming up at the barre, two of her classmates had walked in, flipping through their iPhones with an urgency that made her look up from a stretch.
“Her name’s actually Gemma Hunter,” one of the girls had said. “And she’s the niece of Queen Bee’s manager. How did people not put two and two together earlier?” Madison’s head snapped towards them, shocked at the mention of Gemma’s name. Gemma had never expressed any desire to be famous or noteworthy. From what she had heard, she hadn’t even opted to go to college.
“What about Gemma Hunter?” Madison asked, slipping off the barre and making her way toward her classmates.
“Queen Bee,” the girl replied. “She finally came out with her identity last night at her bullying charity thing. Her real name is Gemma Hunter and she apparently decided to come out with everything cause some reporter called her out on being a hypocrite or something.”
Madison could hardly breathe.
“You know, I’m not even a fan of hers or Tyler Chase or whatever,” her classmate continued. “But I think it’s awesome that she did this.”
Madison felt her ears grow hot and her stomach lurch as she fumbled through her bag for her phone. Her hands shook as she typed into her the search bar – Gemma Hunter – but before she could even finish, her search engine had suggested Queen Bee to follow. She pressed enter anyway, hoping to spot a picture and perhaps prove it wasn’t the same Gemma Hunter. After all, it just seemed too impossible and there had to be quite a few Gemma Hunters in the world. But despite that logic, simultaneous thoughts ran right underneath. Thoughts of how Gemma had kind of showed up at Beauford out of nowhere when her own brother had been there for years. Thoughts of how Gemma often disappeared for a month at a time without good reason.
And then the picture popped up on her phone. Gemma Hunter, the meek plain Jane that she had known in high school, was suddenly a household name. She stood hand in hand with Tyler Chase, with Damian Evans standing beside her. Had he known the whole time? And then the caption under the photo. “Gemma Hunter, AKA Queen Bee, Recalls High School Life At Hands of a ‘Vicious Bully.’”
It was all too surreal, all too shocking. Madison felt tears burning in her eyes. It was all years ago but every emotion she had came rushing back. She could barely understand why it was still upsetting her as much as it was but she was overwhelmed by feelings of anger, jealousy, and embarrassment. She sprinted out the building and through Washington Square Park, ignoring the nausea that was plaguing her body.
But it all caught up to her before she could make it home. Madison bent over a trashcan, gripping the grimy edges as she threw up in the middle of the park in broad daylight. She could hear people running to her aid, asking if she was okay, but she ignored them all. Gemma Hunter had not only succeeded in making everyone at Beauford see her as some helpless little victim, but now the world.
Madison spent that night searching through every last blog post and article about Queen Bee’s big reveal. She looked for any mention of her name, but there was thankfully none. Every writer had quoted Gemma directly, simply referred to the fact that she was the victim of a ‘vicious bully.’ If Madison had any energy left in her, she would have scoffed. She was thankful Gemma hadn’t used her name, but it was only a matter of time before people would have figured it out. And with one little sentence, she was able to ruin Madison’s public reputation before she even had one.
On the set of Carbine, she had actually delighted in her luck. Not only had she gotten a huge break in her entertainment career, word had still not gotten out about her history with Queen Bee. And now, if it did, she would have the relative fame and platform where she could defend herself. Though she was never able to get proof, Madison knew something had happened between Gemma and Lucas, back when she was still dating him. As a result, seeing Tyler’s interest in her and sensing Gemma’s jealousy was unbelievably satisfying. When Gemma had shown up on set more than she probably should have, dressed with all the intent to impress, Madison was sure she had succeeded.
But when Madison learned that Tyler’s interest in her wasn’t quite what she thought it was and that Gemma had actually somehow caught Liam’s eye, she felt herself back at a very bitter square one. Lucas, Tyler, Liam – what did the all see in her? What was so special about this girl that everyone rallied so hard to keep up her perfect little image?
“So how does it work now that you’re all Hollywood,” Chrissy asked, breaking Madison from her whirlwind of thoughts. “Do you still read all the gossip and
shit about yourself?”
“Of course not,” Madison lied. There weren’t very many people still writing about her, but she did stay on top of the gossip back when they were.
“They wrote some crazy stories about you, it was hilarious,” Claire said, swatting her hand in the air. “Something I read actually said you were the one who bullied Queen Bee in high school. I mean, let’s say she was actually bullied and that wasn’t all some publicity stunt, what are the chances that of all the people in her high school, the one other tabloid-worthy chick to come from that little town turns out to be her bully?”
“Right,” Chrissy nodded. “I mean, did you guys even actually know each other? Because I went to school with some kid who’s in the NFL now and other than having calculus together, we never even talked.”
“No, I knew her,” Madison said, biting on the tip of her manicured nail.
“Really?” Claire exclaimed. “So were you guys friends and stuff?”
“I was a year above her, but yeah, we were close when we were close.”
“Madison, what the hell! How did you not even mention that?”
“She’s not someone I like talking about,” Madison said, sitting up straight and folding her hands in her lap. Her jaw tightened. “We had a pretty bad falling out and it wasn’t exactly a pleasant experience finding out she had been secretly Queen Bee this whole time and that now I had to see her face all over gossip blogs and magazines when I was trying to put her in the past.”
“Um, wow,” Claire breathed, looking over at Chrissy who had become quiet. They exchanged looks. “So something did go down between you two?”
Madison felt her heart pound in the same way it had when she first found out about Gemma. She looked at her friends, clearly concerned and regretful over having broached the subject at all. Their faces were solemn and worried as they waited for her reaction. Madison pressed a hand to her heart, feeling her eyes brim with tears.
She hadn’t talked about Gemma with anyone but Tyler since she left Beauford. Madison had unintentionally intensified her feelings for him by sharing that secret part of her life. She told Tyler as much as she could without coming off as bitter and angry. She wanted to be informative yet appear in control and past all the conflict she once had with Tyler’s then girlfriend. Tyler took in all the information with wide eyes, hungry to know anything there was to know about Gemma. It was never about me, Madison thought, swallowing hard. It was always about her.
“Talk to us,” Chrissy said, placing a comforting hand on Madison’s shoulder.
“Okay,” Madison whispered. She blinked away the tears, feeling the tension in her chest dissipate as she heaved a deep sigh. “Gemma Hunter isn’t the person everyone thinks she is. She cheated on Damian with my then boyfriend Lucas. Then she cheated on Lucas with Tyler. Whatever you read about Tyler coming to my place a lot while we were shooting Carbine? All that was true. I don’t know what Gemma was doing to him but she had totally messed with his mind. He was so broken when he was talking to me. He clearly just needed a friend.” Madison watched as Chrissy and Claire clutched their hands over their chests, staring open-mouthed in reaction to what she had said.
“And you and Tyler?” Chrissy asked. “You guys were just friends?”
“Of course,” Madison replied. “It’s not like I’m her.” It’s not like I had the option, is more like it.
“Oh my God,” Claire gasped. “I mean, it’s ridiculous. They totally made you out to sound like some bullying homewrecker and this whole time, Queen Bee was the evil one.”
“I think she goes by Gemma Hunter now,” Chrissy said. “Remember? Her record label dropped her or something? Definitely karma. That bitch.”
“You know what’s totally sick about all this?” Claire began. “The fact that she made up some sob story about being bullied in high school for all that press and she’s still hailed as some hero. She made it seem like she was this pathetic little victim who always got picked on, not some boyfriend-stealing cheater of a slut.”
Madison swallowed, her fingers pressed to her throat. She could feel what might be guilt creeping up her spine as the insults towards Gemma escalated. She felt confident that there was no way Chrissy and Claire would learn of anything other than Madison’s side of the story, but she had made the conscious decision to leave out the fact that maybe she had sometimes also been at fault and taken things to a bit of an extreme.
She couldn’t help but think that she had made the wrong move by revealing her story in such a way, all for a quick dose of attention and sympathy. She was just hoping to give her friends the gossip that they so wanted and alleviate some of the pent-up stress and anger she had towards the topic of Gemma. She wasn’t expecting to inspire this type of vitriol, especially in such a sloppy fashion. Even her high school self would be disappointed in the route she chose.
You’ve hit a new low, Madison.
~
The next morning, Madison woke up alone in Chrissy’s bed. It was the same Queen sized frame that she had used when the three of them had lived in a West Village apartment near campus. But now the view out of Chrissy’s bedroom window was of Crown Heights because “rent is about five thousand times cheaper here and I’m broke,” according to Chrissy.
Lifting her head from the pillow, Madison glanced at the clock. She had expected it to be noon considering how well rested she felt, but it was only 8AM.
Wandering into the common space, Madison found herself face to face with a perfectly set dining table. Sitting on the tabletop was a vase holding a small bouquet of flowers. It hadn’t been there the day before. Tucked underneath the petals was a small envelope that read Madison. She opened it up, finding a card inside from Chrissy and Claire. Hope you slept well! Sorry we couldn’t be there for you this morning. We made you breakfast (your favorite parfait!) and left it in the fridge! Love you.
She bit her lip, feeling a bit regretful that she had kept her friends up late with her sob story when they both had early mornings to get to. Seeing that they had felt bad enough for her that they went out and took the time to buy her flowers and make her breakfast added to the guilt.
Her phone chimed suddenly, indicating a missed call. Madison picked it up, seeing that a voicemail had been left just a few minutes before she had woken up. It was her agent. “Great news, darling! The people at Neighbors and Lovers want you for a callback. It sounded like they loved you so I wouldn’t be surprised if you needed to start looking for an apartment on your home coast… Scheduled you for 4pm, same place as yesterday. I’m excited for us!”
~
Vanessa was an army wife and a new addition to the fictional suburban town of Graywood. Young, beautiful, and desperately lonely, she finds herself falling for her married next-door neighbor, Dr. Harvey Halstead, whose wife was pregnant with their third child. Sweet and innocent, with lines so tacky and contrived it would make a five-year-old gag, Vanessa was a far cry from anything that Madison had ever read for.
Feeling demoralized and tired of the audition circuit, Madison didn’t bother giving the callback her all. She had always prided herself in being confident and composed and liked that people saw her that way. Confessing to her roommates that she once had a boyfriend who cheated on her and that she had ever felt insecure about anything went against the reputation she had built for herself. Her roommates were sweet to dote on her, but pity was never the type of attention that Madison relished. After all, she had spent enough of the past year wallowing in her own self-pity.
She had thought for a moment that telling Chrissy and Claire the suspicions she had about Gemma would somehow perhaps release the bitterness that she had felt for her all those years. Instead, the girls just about confirmed that she had reason to be angry and upset and feel the way she felt.
Madison stuffed her sides into her purse, burying Vanessa’s cheesy words under her wallet and keys. If the entertainment industry didn’t want her, she would make it her choice to leave. Madison Lennox wouldn’t gro
vel for anything, most certainly not for a daytime soap contract that didn’t even guarantee a whole season. She put on her sunglasses as she made her way across the lobby and out onto the Midtown sidewalks.
Within two steps, she heard the faint call of her name. She looked up to see a man with a camera, wearing a Pop Dinner t-shirt. Madison sighed, keeping up her stride towards the street corner in hopes of quickly hailing a cab. She looked out into the stream of yellow cars and was momentarily hopeful until she realized every one had on their off-duty lights. She rolled her eyes behind her shades, cursing her agent for scheduling her callback at this hour.
“Madison!” the paparazzo called with an annoying familiarity. Madison glanced over. It wasn’t anyone she recognized. “Hey Madison! I hear you’re out here for an audition.”
“You heard right,” she replied, dryly. “Congratulations.” Had she been in any other mood, she would probably be happy that Pop Dinner was actually once again giving her the time of day.
“What’s it for?”
“I can’t answer that question right now,” she replied, looking away from the camera and willing the possibility of an on-duty cab to come by.
“Will you be moving back to New York?”
“I can’t answer that question,” she repeated, beginning to like the way the words sounded leaving her lips.
“Well, at least tell us what you’ve been working on since Carbine. Didn’t that finish shooting like, two years ago?”
Ugh. “Hasn’t quite been two years,” Madison said, trying to sound unruffled, even chipper as she made her way across the street. She hoped a different corner would help her at the very least get away from Pop Dinner, but the cameraman followed, holding the camera as still as possible as he wove through the cars.