by Jen Wylie
It was amazing how a few words and a gesture could change so much. Things weren't quite the same, but better. Her heart felt lighter.
When she woke again his absence was the first thing she noticed. Baelan shook her leg.
"I'm awake," she snapped, and then groaned. She still hadn't gotten enough sleep.
"The Fey has gone to get things moving." He paused. "I will go and find something for you to eat."
Yes, that stupid spell was annoying.
Sitting up, she rubbed at her face. "Wait."
He stopped before her and raised a perfect silver brow.
"Everything you said last night, it…helped, I think. Thank you, for your wise words."
He shook his head and laughed. "I might be old, and have the silver hair, but I never said I was wise. I'm not human."
"And that makes a difference?"
"Of course. Just because you're old doesn't make you wise." He leaned toward her. "Do you know what makes you wise? Two things: mistakes and having the time to think about them. When you're young, you make many mistakes, but you run off to your next adventure, not thinking about them at all. When you humans get old, your body fails you. You slow down, and you then have time to think. To understand. That is what makes you wise. Immortals, we are forever young. Some will slow down, some will think, but many of us just keep on running through our lives from one thing to the next."
Shaking her head in amusement, she grinned. Silly Elf. "And you said you're not wise? Hmm?"
He frowned at her, paused, and then shook his head. "Not in so many things that matter," he said softly. He bowed his head and retreated. "I will be back shortly."
Getting up, she fixed her clothes, put on her boots, brushed her hair and teeth, and checked her pack.
After Baelan returned and she'd eaten, they gathered up their bags and headed to find the horses.
The sun had barely risen but the settlement bustled with activity as Were and Fey ran about preparing for her people to head out once more. She didn't see Kei but didn't ask his whereabouts.
Once the horses were loaded, she and Baelan led them through the village, collecting Fey as they went.
Rhee-En approached, with Cassia a step behind and four young Were following.
"Good morning, Aro-En."
"And to you, Rhee-En. Cassia." She hated politics. Greet the alpha first, slight nod. None for her friend. It was difficult to force a smile when she turned back to Rhee-En. "Thank you all again, for everything you have done. It is most appreciated."
"I will pass your thanks on to the king as well," the alpha replied, slight admonishment in his tone. He turned away before she could reply. "These are our young volunteers. They are from the area, so we will change them out as you move. If that is acceptable."
"Yes, of course." None of the Were, two girls and two boys, looked older than her. The youngest she guessed to be maybe fifteen. She pushed back the unease in her stomach. They were only to be scouts. Nothing would happen to them.
She gestured them to come forward and made a short show of looking them over. "You have been told what is expected of you?"
The oldest nodded. "To assist in your search for the wild Fey. We are to also help with communication along the line."
She crossed her arms. "Yes. You are scouts only. If you come across a Fey, or a trace, you pass the information along and do not engage. Others will do that." She looked at them all. "Do you understand?" They shifted slightly, but all nodded.
"Perhaps they should be shown why," Kei said suddenly from her side. She turned to look at him and he raised a pale brow.
Returning her attention to the young Were, she thought of her brothers, how they'd once taught her. "The Fey are quick. They often hide up in the trees." She paused to let that sink in. "They will attack from above." She gestured to Kei, "And be armed like so."
Claws sprang from his fingertips and fangs from his mouth. The Were jumped, a few taking a step back.
She gestured them forward. "Come. Look. Those claws are strong, a sword won't cut through them. And deadly sharp. As are the fangs."
One of the girls came forward and gingerly touched one of Kei's claws. Jerking her finger back in surprise, she wiped off the blood. "Wither me."
"They can do a lot of damage," Aro continued. "They can kill," she said softly. "You are not their enemy, but they will know they are being tracked. You will appear to be a threat. They will attack. They can't help it, they won't be able to reason through the fury."
Stopping before them again, she held out her hands. "We don't want anyone hurt. You or them. Agreed?" She waited until they all nodded quickly. "Good. You understand. Track. Do not engage."
Well done, Aro, Garen said.
Thank you.
"Kei will give you a place on the line. It's time to head out."
Kei, claws and fangs once again gone, gave her a faint smile. People moved around her and she let out a slow breath.
Looking up, she saw Rhee-En watching her. A smile crossed his face and he gave her a slow nod of approval.
Weeks went by in a wet blur. She didn't remember last spring being so rainy, but they hadn't been so far south either. Between storms, showers, swollen rivers, and flooded lowlands, she felt permanently waterlogged. Despite the growing heat, and bugs, she heartily welcomed the arrival of summer.
They had found seventy-four Fey and covered more than a quarter of Rhee-En's land. It wasn't enough. Despite pushing everyone, pushing herself, to exhaustion, an obsessive fear still choked her. He would come back, eventually. It didn't matter how tired she felt, how she knew they traveled as fast as they possibly could, she knew it wouldn't be enough for the Dragos.
"Aro, wait!"
Grimacing, she stopped her pacing at Lissana's call. Sunlight barely brightened the area of their camp. Shortly, they'd all head out for another day.
The Fey jogged up to her and held out a wrapped package. "You forgot food," she said, pressing it into her hands. "You keep forgetting to eat," she admonished softly.
She nodded and forced a small smile at the Fey's concern. They didn't stop at noon any more but ate as they moved. Something the others weren't overly happy about, but no one complained too loudly. At least not to her.
She'd been getting a lot of strange looks. She knew her push to move caused many to think she wasn't right in the head, even those who knew about Damon. Perhaps it was a reason why the Fey and Were shifted out in the rotation so often though.
Baelan walked up as Lissana left to find the Were she paired with. Rubbing at his tangled hair, he muttered quietly.
She ignored it since he did that now and then. Mostly just around her, but she'd heard quiet comments about the Elf who talked to himself. Since he quite literally was, she ignored the gossiping whispers as well. She'd become quite good at ignoring things.
"Kei was muttering nonsense again this morning," he finally said.
She snorted a bit and then rubbed her burning eyes. "We're all crazy," she said quietly, more to herself than the Elf.
Stepping closer, he brushed a lock of hair from her face, a wry smile crossing his lips. "We make good company then."
She huffed out a tired laugh. Straightening her shoulders, she glanced around the camp. "Looks like everyone's ready. Let's go."
Baelan sighed but followed her into the trees.
They moved along at a slow jog throughout the morning, silent except for occasionally checking in with the others. Sweat tickled the back of her neck as the day warmed.
Stop. An arm shot out across her chest, forcing her to do so.
Freezing in place, she looked around, trying to find out what the Elf had seen or heard. Finding nothing, she looked over to him.
Head tipped slightly to the side, his gray eyes scanned the forest ahead of them.
What is it?
I thought I caught the scent of– His lips pressed together suddenly and he grabbed her arm, pulling her back behind a large tree.
She dropped into a crouch
, muscles tense. Not a Fey. They didn't hide from them. She pushed a rush of panic down. Had Damon returned?
He tapped her shoulder, gaining her attention. Elf. Stay here.
One?
He nodded once, and the dark, dangerous eyes of her assassin met hers. Stay.
Between one breath and the next he was gone, lost to the shadows. Impressive really, considering the brightness of the day.
She waited silently, the sound of her heart thumping in her ears. Shifting position, she peeked around the tree. Where were they?
Movement to the right caught her eye and she saw the Elf just as he spotted her.
The Elf began to raise his hand. A jolt of panic sped her heart. She hadn't drawn the blade Prince gave her and wouldn't have time to block his rune. She let loose the dagger she did hold, hoping it would distract him. His eyes widened in shock as his body jerked. He blinked, eyes dropping to the hilt protruding from his chest before rising to meet hers, brows drawing together in confusion.
"Why–?"
Words cut off as Bay appeared as a shadow behind him and swiftly snapped his neck.
Her body tensed as the body dropped to the ground.
"Nice shot, Arowyn. A bit more to the left."
"Something's not right," she whispered, her mouth suddenly gone dry as she replayed what just occurred in her mind.
Bay tipped his head to the side slightly, regarding her growing unease, before kneeling beside the body.
Panic rose within her as she moved to join him.
Terris! You forget to tell us of another Elf?
The Were chuckled. Of course not. Heshel isn't a threat.
Her breath froze in her chest, sweat suddenly beading her forehead. "Heshel."
Bay looked up at her. "Yes."
"Terris just said…" Her voice gave out and she tried again. "Said he wasn't a threat."
He nodded once, his lips set in a grim line.
"Oh rot. Rot rot rot." Hand on her forehead, she started to pace, her breaths coming in quick, harsh gasps. They'd just killed an innocent person. She'd killed…
She wrapped her arms around herself as nausea twisted her insides. Her vision swam and she squeezed her burning eyes closed as she bent over. "I can't breathe."
Bay's arms wrapped around her and he pulled her to his chest, holding her so tight it was almost painful. "Such things happen, Aro," he murmured against her hair.
"I killed him. I killed him." She choked on a breath, her fingers curling into his shirt. Pressing her face into his neck, she tried to keep control of herself and failed. A whimper started and turned into a silent wail as she clutched at him, her legs giving out under her.
Aro? What's wrong?
She couldn't find the words within her to answer Kei.
Bay held her more tightly, an arm around her waist, another her shoulders as he dropped to his knees, pulling her onto his lap. His raised his hand, cupping her head and holding it to him as well. His cheek pressed against her hair as he held her shaking body tightly and rocked.
"No, no. It was I who killed him," he whispered. "It's not your fault."
Tears burned her eyes but wouldn't fall. Perhaps because she shook so hard, or because she couldn't seem to get enough air.
"It's not your fault," he said again, and then began to softly hum as he continued to rock them from side to side.
Other hands pulled her away, and for a moment she met Kei's worried gaze before he tucked her against him and too, began to rock. She wanted to complain, to tell him she wasn't a child, but the words wouldn't come. She felt too terribly small and inadequate, as though she'd been trying to play an adult and failed.
After a time, the shaking stopped, her breathing slowed. The lump of guilt remained heavy in her stomach and clogged her throat.
"Bring her here."
She pushed away from Kei, though his hands guided her as they stood. She rubbed at her blurry eyes and then ran her fingers through her hair, forcing herself to just breathe.
"Come, my lovely." Baelan held out a hand to her, and without hesitation she took it, her fingers closing tightly around his. Kei's hand rested against her lower back as the Elf led her into the trees.
Her own feet stopped her as the giant tree came into view. The ancient rose high above the surrounding trees, its trunk so wide, even the three of them wouldn't have been able to circle it. Near its base, laid out amongst the rolling twists of roots, was the Elf.
The Elf she'd killed.
Heshel.
Her lower lip trembled and she sucked it between her teeth, biting down to keep it still.
"I will give him a proper burial. Unlike the others," Baelan added.
His gaze remained on her until she nodded. He turned to face the tree and raised his hands. Runes floated in the air as his hands gracefully moved around. Some landed on the trunk of the tree, others the roots, some settled on the body.
She watched as all began to softly glow and then jerked backward into Kei as the loops of roots began to writhe and move, some even looping over the body as it slowly began to sink beneath the ground.
Her heart pounded in her chest, and continued to do so even after the body disappeared and the lights faded away.
"Arowyn?"
She blinked, and looked up from the now empty ground to find Baelan watching her with a worried frown.
"He rests beneath the tree now."
Managing a nod, she forced herself not to look again. Kei rubbed her back and she closed her eyes. Rot, she was tired. So tired.
"We should stop for the day," the Elf said, his voice quiet and weary.
"I agree," said Kei.
"Yes," Baelan said again, his voice deeper.
Opening her eyes, she caught the assassin's stormy gaze before he disappeared once again.
Kei frowned at the Elf, his brows drawing together.
The familiar panic started to rise within her. She needed to move, stopping was bad, the Dragos would come… But for once the thoughts weren't loud enough, so she pushed them away.
Kei took her hand and pulled her through the trees. Her mind numb, she followed, not paying attention.
"Sit. We're going to make camp here. The others will be here soon."
She dropped onto her butt and pulled up her knees, wrapping her arms around her legs.
Kei crouched before her and took her face in his hands. "It's not your fault, Aro. Sometimes, things like this happen."
Pressing her lips tightly together, she nodded sharply. His words didn't help. Guilt ate at her insides like some hungry starving beast. Kei sighed and backed away. Closing her eyes, she dropped her forehead to her knees and concentrated on just breathing.
Camp sounds grew louder as the Fey and young Were returned. Even trying to block everything else out, she heard the confusion of everyone wondering why they had stopped.
"Where is she? Where is she!" Terris' increasingly shrill voice broke her out of her guilt-ridden thoughts. Clenching her fists, trying to hold in her sudden anger, she rose.
The beta strode through camp, and once spotting her, increased her pace. "What did you do? Where is he?"
Aro moved forward to meet her, squaring her shoulders. "Dead."
The one word froze the Were in her tracks, her startled face paling in shock.
Closing the distance between them, Aro didn't try overly hard to stem the rising fury within her. Red and black. Anger and rage. "What did you think would happen?" Terris' mouth opened and closed. "I told you," Aro ground out angrily, her voice rising, "to tell us if you came across an Elf. All you had to do, was tell us he was safe!"
Gathering her composure, the Were snarled. "You should have known!"
"How? How? Stop and have a talk first? Every Elf we've come across has tried to kill us! I've been kidnapped and tortured by them!" She sucked in a breath. "When he raised his hand," her own hand went up, "I thought he was about to cast a rune. I've been hit with rune magic before. I wasn't going to experience that again."
"You are a menace, you freak! You shouldn't be here!"
She clenched her fists again. "Well, I am. Your king approved it. I know you don't like me, and I don't rotting care. This is just as much your fault as it is mine."
Terris got in her face. "Don't you dare blame this on me, you despicable human!"
"Stop being so petty." She was pretty sure her eyes were glowing now as the anger continued to flare within her. "Take responsibility for your…your inaction."
The Were snarled and lunged, but Baelan quickly stepped in, yanking her back.
"Don't touch me, outcast."
"Get out of my camp," Aro snapped.
Terris raised her chin. "You forget this is my land," she said haughtily.
"I may not be your alpha, but I am alpha and I outrank you. Leave. Now."
"You will regret this."
Regret. Yes. She would for all of her life.
"Pups, come."
The young Were looked from her to Terris, eyes wide. Grinding her teeth, she gave a slight nod, letting them go. She wouldn't drag them into this.
The Were left. The Fey stared. The sudden awkward silence calmed some of her anger, but not all. Rot. Now what would happen?
Clutching at her hair, she spun away from everyone and let out a scream of frustration. Arms wrapped around her, and after a moment she let out a long breath, tired. Defeated.
"I'm so sorry, Kei."
He turned her in his arms before embracing her again. "Everything will be fine. Don't worry."
She looked up at him. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I am." His glowing golden eyes stared into hers for a long moment. "Let's get something to eat. We'll rest and figure out what to do next."
Taut muscles relaxed. She trusted him. He had to be right, he just had to be. Everything would be fine.
∞ ∞ ∞
Aro-En.
She knew it was coming, that Rhee-En would find out sooner rather than later and she'd have to deal with him, but her mouth still went dry and her heart began a frantic beat when the alpha snapped out her name.
Tell me. Tell me what happened. Right now.
She did, tripping and stuttering over her words in her haste and panic.
It was her fault. She knew it was her fault. But it wasn't only hers. It had been a mistake, an accident.