by Jen Wylie
Kei stopped suddenly and turned to face her. Various emotions flitted quickly across his face. "Stop, Aro," he said softly. "It wasn't…" He glanced away, frowning. "I feel your guilt. Just…stop. It was battle lust. It happens."
Her brows drew together. Beside her, Baelan's head cocked to the side, questioning.
"It's when…" The Fey's hands moved around awkwardly. "You fight. For your life. Your body is all about surviving. Living. Then suddenly it's over. You're still all wound up. You're alive. Now that is all that matters." He touched his chest. "It's instinct. You're not thinking. You survived death and now, well…instinct directs you toward life." He waved his hands in front of him again.
"Sex," Baelan supplied with a huge grin.
Her cheeks burned as she shot him a glare. "This actually happens?"
Kei cleared his throat as his own cheeks flushed. "I've seen it. In the army. Sometimes we'd fight and then…" He made an embarrassed, frustrated sound. "So, don't feel guilty anymore. See?" With a jerky nod, he turned and started quickly walking again.
She could only follow and try to wrap her head around what he'd said. It made sense, in a way. But she wasn't that kind of person, instinct or not, was she? Rubbing a hand across her forehead, she shook her head. Apparently, she was. How had that happened? With her past and…
Kei stopped again. He stood for a moment, staring ahead before turning and closing the distance between them in a few quick steps.
She froze, her thoughts scattered, wondering what she'd done now.
His gaze darted over her and she glanced down, seeing the dirt and blood and rent clothing. When she looked up at him again, his eyes met hers, softer this time.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. He cupped her cheek, the blood on his hand sticky against her skin.
She felt then his worry. His love. Relief. Her lips trembled, and she lurched forward, throwing her arms around him. He held her tightly, pressing his face into her bloody hair.
Something pressed into her side and they pulled away to find Garen pressing his head against them. A small laugh escaped her as she bent and hugged his head.
They'd all survived. But she'd already known that, deep down she could feel the bonds she shared with her small pack. Her family.
Kei cleared his throat and she straightened. No other words were spoken as they followed Kei. They didn't need to be.
∞ ∞ ∞
She bent over another Fey, pressing her hands to his mangled chest and pushing power into him. The wound was bad, but with her help he would survive. Unlike some they'd come across.
Shredded bodies. Missing limbs. Closing her eyes, she pushed images of the dead away.
Kei, Garen, and other Fey still searched for survivors, even though they hadn't found any more in a while, there were still a couple of Fey unaccounted for. Baelan remained by her side at the Fey camp by the river, helping her tend to those she worked on. He'd only left her side when they first arrived at camp, returning slightly more mussed and with lumps of bandages showing under his clothes. He didn't look to be in serious pain, so she let him be.
Rising on weary legs, she stretched her back and then moved toward the next wounded. Only a few more. She would have felt relieved about that, but she planned on heading to the Were's makeshift camp when she was done here to see if there was anything she could do to help.
Baelan handed her a cloth and she wiped at the blood on her hands as she walked. Not that it did much good. She would need a long soak to get it all off. She'd be lucky if she got to that before darkness fell.
"You'll be clean before you sleep," Baelan said firmly. "Even if I need to steal a bucket and scrub you down myself."
Raising her eyebrows, she looked over at him in surprise.
He frowned. "I actually didn't mean for that to sound inappropriate." His lips turned up into a saucy grin. "For once."
Shaking her head, she looked away. Guilt once again twisted her insides.
"You and I…" she started, her voice trailing off as she tried to put into words what she wanted to say.
"There is no 'you and I.' I know that, Aro."
A large breath huffed out of her and she nodded, looking away.
"It's done and over. I do not regret it," he added, "and neither should you. Sometimes, things just happen. But I…" Worry crossed his face as he looked at her intently. "I keep forgetting," he muttered. "Are you…?"
She looked back at him. He gave her a surprisingly soft smile. Understanding. "I'm fine."
He visibly relaxed. "Good. Good. That was quite the kiss though." He grinned.
She shook her head. It was. Her entire body tingled with the memory. She certainly wasn't going to admit that to him, though.
They walked silently for a moment before he glanced over at her again. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." She shook her head and huffed out a breath. "I just…feel guilty. Like I betrayed him. I'm angry that I do. I walked away." She grimaced. "You were right. He wasn't who I thought he was."
"Love is rarely something that just stops, Aro. It turns into something else, or fades away on a memory."
She glanced over at him when he didn't continue. He looked off into the distance, a wistful look on his face. She wondered what he was thinking about. Perhaps someone who had broken his heart once. "There you go being all wise again," she said lightly.
His lips curved into a smile as he came back to her. "You so easily forget I am over a century old?"
"Of course not, with all that gray hair."
"Gray! It's not gray, it's silver!" The outrage on his face as he pulled at a lock made her smile.
"It's a bloody mess right now," she pointed out.
He sighed. "So it is."
"If Bay was out, you'd be rather terrifying."
"He is, isn't he?"
She shrugged.
Glancing at her, his brows rose. "You really aren't afraid of him."
"I know he won't hurt me, even without the spell."
"True."
Her head shot around quickly at the change in his voice. Stormy eyes regarded her for a moment, before turning lighter as she watched.
"Not your turn," Baelan muttered. He flashed her a grin that looked rather forced. "He was angry I pushed him aside and took over the kiss. Since he was considering ripping off Kei's head for interrupting, I thought it would be wise to intervene."
She wasn't quite sure what to say about that admission. "Ah…good idea."
"Plus, I got a kiss, too."
Without even thinking she reached over and smacked his arm.
He, of course, laughed delightedly.
Crazy Elf.
"Oh my. That doesn't look good."
Turning her attention to the Fey they approached, she grimaced. She swallowed and pushed down the emotions wanting to flood her, to take over and make her scream and cry. She didn't have time for such nonsense.
By the time she finished with all the Fey, more blood soaked her clothes and skin. The faces of the wounded kept flickering in her mind. Haunting her as much as her own lost family, even though she knew little more than their names. Arlen, who lost an eye. Hylr, with his gaping chest wound. Especially Gwist, who died under her hands.
At least now, there were only a few Fey with minor injuries who hadn't been tended to.
How do things fare by you?
With a sigh, she rubbed at her cheek before answering the Were. The drying blood was getting itchy. Almost done tending our wounded, she answered the alpha.
Good. He paused. The prince has been harassing my Were. He wants to see you.
Her heart fluttered for a moment before she shook her head and looked at the blood and death surrounding her. I don't want to see him.
He's insisting.
She snorted. Ignore him.
I wish I could, Aro-En.
Well, rot. Tell him I said to go home.
It wasn't long before the alpha relied. Unsurprisingly, he's not agreeable to that.
&nbs
p; She huffed out a breath and stood. Fine. I'm busy. I'll see him…when I'm not. She winced at her poor choice of words.
The alpha chuckled. He has been told. Now we can ignore him.
It was her turn to smile. It faded quickly at the mournful howl of a wolf in the distance. Rhee-En didn't need to be dealing with this now. Selfish Elf.
I apologize for all the trouble he's causing because of me.
No need. She could almost hear his grin. It is a…distraction. It's quite amusing seeing him in such a state.
With those words she was quite certain the alpha didn't care for the Elven prince at all.
Do you need extra hands over there? I'd be happy to come and help when I'm done here.
Ah, you delightful woman. It would be greatly appreciated.
I will head over shortly then.
We will watch for you.
Kei lightly touched her arm, gaining her attention. "Do you want to get cleaned up?"
She shook her head. "When I'm done here I'm going to go over and see what I can do to help the Were. And then…" She closed her eyes and grimaced. "Then I need to go and talk to Prince again. He's been asking for me."
"You don't need to."
"I know."
He nodded, understanding. "I'll finish here. The sooner you're done, the sooner you can rest."
She stood, not having the energy to argue, and moved through the Fey camp. Baelan stayed close to her side, murmuring under his breath now and then.
She asked for any volunteers to share their power with her in case she needed it. Many stepped forward, without hesitation.
Pride welled within her, nearly bringing tears to her eyes. The Fey were such good people. They didn't deserve the fate that had befallen them.
Before leaving the camp, Kei rushed up to her. He glanced at Baelan for a moment, then back at her.
Her brows drew together in confusion at the sudden unease she felt. "What is it?"
"The Were aren't here. None have seen what you can do."
"What are you talking about?"
Kei shifted from foot to foot at Baelan's question, but his eyes met hers. "Giving power back to the Fey." Does he know? You can give to others?
I…don't think so.
Might be best to keep it that way. From everyone.
Her mouth opened and closed when she wanted to argue. But he was right. She didn't know how much she could trust Baelan, or the Were. If they found out she could give power to them, she might find herself a target. Or worse, they would ask more questions. They could never know all that she could do.
Nodding to Kei, she pulled him in for a quiet hug.
"I'll be over soon," he said.
Baelan cast her numerous glances as they walked across the battlefield before finally speaking. "Is he being overprotective, or are you hiding something?"
She grimaced. At least he kept his voice low. "I'm a freak enough, as it is. He always worries."
He gave her a long, thoughtful look before looking away. She wasn't sure if he believed her evasion or not.
It wasn't important right then. She worried more on if she'd be able to keep her power to herself if she came across a dying Were.
She needn't have worried. By the time she reached the Were camp, so much time had passed since the end of the battle any who were mortally wounded had either passed on or already been helped by their alpha. It had slipped her mind how the Were could share power with their pack bond, which was surprising as creating a pack to help Prince got her into a mess with the Were to start with.
Even so, many were weak enough they couldn't fully heal their wounds, and she was kept busy moving from one wounded Were to the next.
A hand clamped down on her shoulder and she looked up from where she knelt. Baelan took the roll of bandages from her and she stood, wiping bloody hands on her bloody pants. It didn't do any good.
"Thank you, Aro-En," the alpha said softly. His voice curled around her, making her breath catch. She really needed a nap. A faint smile curved his lips. Rotting Were knew he affected her.
"I don't think you needed us." She gestured to the many Were tending the wounded.
He shrugged. "It is appreciated all the same." He looked away. "We lost forty-seven. A handful more will not ever fight again. Two lost their wolves."
The sorrow in his voice made her chest ache. She stepped closer, resting a hand on his muscled arm. "It could have been worse."
He shook his head absently. "I failed as an alpha," he said so quietly she barely heard him. "I was not prepared for such an assault so soon."
"We can't prepare for everything, no matter how hard we try."
"What's done is done." He blew out a breath and forced a small smile. "What are your plans now?"
Kei stepped into view, his eyes shining. "We go to Furia." His gaze turned to her. "It is time."
Such simple words held a deeper meaning she didn't understand. Getting to Furia at a certain time was important, though she didn't know why. Kei had never said, and she wondered if he even knew. What was it like inside his head?
"Please let me know if there is anything you need," Rhee-En said.
"Thank you."
Baelan joined them. "Are you ready to head back to camp?"
She shook her head. "First I need to talk to an Elf."
Rhee-En grinned. "That should be interesting."
Interesting wasn't quite the word she'd been thinking of.
∞ ∞ ∞
Baelan and Kei walked on either side of her as they moved through the large Were camp. She checked in with Garen, who remained with the Fey in case they were needed.
They are still working on the pyre, he told her.
Her stomach twisted. The Fey burned their dead. Something she'd known but never been a part of. I'll make sure we're back in time.
It will be a while yet, Garen answered sadly. They too, had a large number of dead.
"Do you want to clean up first?" Baelan tugged at a bloody strand of hair.
"No," she said firmly. "Let him see."
The numbing sorrow for those they'd lost dimmed under her growing anger as they walked. If they'd been warned, or if the Elves had been here, not nearly so many would have fallen. As they drew closer to the wardwall, the fury within her raged higher. They passed a few dead Vor, maybe two dozen, their bodies full of arrows.
Baelan kicked a carcass. "Should we wait here?"
She turned her attention forward. Prince stood waiting, a number of Elves close behind him. "No. Come with me. Please," she added, trying to calm her growing anger.
As she approached she saw his gaze roam over her, flick to Kei, to Baelan, and then back. His lips pressed tightly together, distress clear on his face.
He was so stunningly perfect, so beautiful, tears clogged her throat. How could she have ever thought he'd love someone like her? Part of her still wanted to run to him. Wrap her arms around him and hope that this time he would tell her he loved her.
She should have known better. Such a foolish girl she was, thinking he ever would.
He made it easy to keep the anger, which she much preferred over maudlin thoughts. No blood stained his clothes or skin. The only thing out of place were a few strands of hair where it looked like he'd run his fingers through one too many times.
She stopped before the wall, close enough she could reach out and touch it if she wanted to. Close enough to be able to read his lips, the emotions on his face.
His eyes raked over her again, taking in every piece of rent clothing, every drop of blood. With a frown, his gaze moved beyond her. "You call this protecting her?"
Baelan huffed. "She's alive, isn't she?"
Her teeth clenched together as she tried to calm her emotions enough to speak. How dare he speak to Baelan like that. Maybe this was a mistake. She raised a hand to draw his attention. "What do you want?"
The Elves behind him stiffened and she looked to them quickly, ensuring they wouldn't be a threat. They all wore simi
lar clothes, were all beautiful in the Elven way. Their eyes varied in color, their hair a range of blond, brunette, and black. One caught her attention for a moment, his eyes and hair the striking hue of a dark wine. He reminded her of the Elf Baelan had killed in the forest and she quickly looked away, not wanting to be reminded.
Prince's blue eyes caught hers, piercing and angry. "Why did you take so long to come?"
Arrogant bastard. Kei snorted behind her. "I am not your subject, Prince. I am not your anything."
"I was worried."
"And I was helping the wounded." She crossed her arms. "I'm sure the Were told you I was fine. I don't appreciate you harassing them."
"This is not…" He frowned and shook his head. His gaze dropped for a moment and he straightened as he looked at her again. "I am sorry, Arowyn. For everything I said."
The apology shocked her, stealing away more angry words so she could only blink at him stupidly.
He stepped closer, setting a palm against the wardwall. "We should be there. I should be there. With you." He bit his lower lip as his gaze searched her face for a reaction to his words. His shoulders sagged as she continued to stare at him angrily. "I am sorry," he said again. "Please forgive me."
She had no idea what to say. Her heart thumped away madly. He'd said what she wanted to hear, but was it enough? Her hesitation surprised her. Perhaps it was just too little too late.
She took a step back. "I need to see to the dead."
He quickly moved forward, placing his other hand on the wardwall. "Wait! Don't go. Please, don't go."
His stricken face stopped her. She wanted to scream. How could he do this? After everything he'd said, how could he act like this now? Like he wanted her. Like she meant something.
Kei, I don't know what to do!
Then listen to what he has to say until you do.
She let out a long slow breath and then nodded. Prince closed his eyes for a moment as his shoulders relaxed. When she met his eyes again, he smiled slightly. Sadly. "Come here."