by Sandra Field
Stepping forward with the intention of brushing past him, she discovered that Gray had other plans. He refused to budge. Shelby found her eyes were level with the cleft in his chin. Which meant she only had to angle her head slightly to see his mouth, and somehow she couldn’t stop herself doing it.
He had a beautiful mouth. Very male, very tantalising. She had yearned to kiss him again for years, and his closeness sent a shiver of anticipation through her. How would his mouth feel now? she wondered. Would he respond if she were to press her lips to his? Not that she was about to put it to the test. Oh, no. She might long to know, but she had more sense than to show it.
‘Cut out the games, Red. Where were you going after breakfast?’ Gray’s frosty tone cut through her musings.
Shelby started guiltily and glanced up, licking her lips in a tiny betraying gesture. Shock ran through her when she saw his eyes drop and follow the movement. Captivated, she tried it again, with the same result. She gasped mentally. In her experience, when a man looked that closely at a woman’s mouth it meant he was thinking of kissing her. Could Gray really be thinking that?
Of course, she had to meet his eyes to check it out, and found their blue depths regarding her impatiently. ‘Don’t try to disarm me with your feminine wiles. I want an answer to my question,’ he told her in no uncertain terms, emphasising his words so that she jumped.
Her eyes narrowed. ‘Why would I use my feminine wiles? They don’t work on you, remember?’
Gray laughed sardonically. ‘I know full well what your wiles can do, and they work perfectly. Now stop prevaricating and tell me what I want to know!’
It was amazingly hard to think when Gray had just told her that she did have the power to entrance him. It opened up certain unexplored possibilities, but she didn’t have time to consider them.
Shelby contrived to shrug casually. ‘I was going to work, of course.’
‘Not without me, you’re not,’ he corrected, equally casually, and her eyes narrowed on his as she frowned.
‘You can’t go with me.’ There was no way. Absolutely no way was he going to work with her.
Gray had other ideas. ‘You don’t have an option. Either I go with you, or you stay here. Your choice,’ he declared firmly, eyes daring her to challenge him on this.
‘It’s out of the question! You must see that,’ she said, appealing for his understanding, but he remained unmoved.
‘All I see is that your word doesn’t mean very much,’ he returned sternly, and the accusation stung, for she knew he had a point. However, this was important so she tried another tack.
‘Come on, Gray, be reasonable. I’ve more than met you halfway. I agreed to a bodyguard. I agreed to your staying in my home. But I can’t possibly take you with me whilst I visit a new client. How would I explain your presence?’ She might have been talking to a block of stone for all the good it did.
‘You can make up any sort of story you like for my being there, but I will be there,’ he said in a tone that brooked no further argument.
Shelby closed her eyes and counted to ten. What on earth was she going to do with him tagging along at her side? How she would have liked to make a dash for the door, but she knew better than to try. Not only would it be undignified, but she had little doubt that he was stronger and faster than she was. He would keep her here by force if he had to.
Folding her arms, she stared at him in bitter frustration. ‘If this is how you treated your other client that time, I’m not surprised they ended up dead,’ she flung at him, and was shocked rather than pleased to see the colour drain from his face as he straightened up, body as tense as a bowstring. With instant compunction she knew she had been unfair, but before she could take it back he spoke.
‘The victim wasn’t a client but a friend, so I would advise you to be careful what you accuse me of,’ he informed her in a tone as hard as granite, and she could tell the subject was still raw.
Biting her lip, she looked at him cautiously. ‘I’m sorry. That was out of line.’
‘It was,’ Gray agreed icily. ‘You might not give a damn what happens to you, but I do. I’m prepared to lay down my life to keep you safe. What are you prepared to do?’
Her heart lurched. Would he really do that? she wondered, but one look at his uncompromising expression assured her that he would. It made her feel ashamed. Dear God, she loved him despite everything, and the very last thing she wanted was for him to get seriously hurt. What would she do without him in the world? It didn’t bear thinking about, so she did the only sensible thing.
She looked at him steadily. ‘If I agree to let you come with me, would you promise to take care of yourself too?’ she countered, knowing she absolutely would not be able to live with his death on her conscience.
The tension drained out of him visibly at her question, and his inclination of the head was every bit as ironic as his next words. ‘I have no intention of shuffling off this mortal coil any time soon, so you have a deal,’ he confirmed, holding out his hand.
After a moment’s hesitation, Shelby took it. The contact was brief, but the tingling heat which travelled up her arm and along her veins remained long after he had released her hand and stepped back.
‘So, does this mean you’re beginning to take the whole thing seriously?’ he wanted to know, and she shook her head.
‘Not exactly. I might despise you, but I wouldn’t want anything really bad to happen to you,’ she conceded with an offhand shrug. Gray laughed softly.
‘I’m glad to hear it, if more than a little surprised.’
Shelby refused to bite, for she had just thought of something. ‘As you’re planning on going everywhere I go, then you should know I’ve arranged to meet friends at a charity function tonight.’ She’d been looking forward to it and had no intention of staying home. ‘I hope you’ve brought a decent suit with you. It’s black tie.’
Having got her compliance over work, Gray knew when to back off. ‘Don’t worry. I won’t embarrass you.’
For all that she hated him, the part of her that still loved him would never be ashamed to be seen with him, for he always looked gorgeous in a suit. Not that she would ever say as much. ‘Hah! You’re a constant embarrassment to me. If you weren’t a necessary evil, I wouldn’t be seen d…’ She broke off, realising what she had been about to say.
Gray merely looked amused. ‘The whole reason for my being here is so that nobody has to see you dead. Now, weren’t you saying something about breakfast?’
‘Er, yes,’ She nodded, not feeling quite so hungry now. ‘Have you eaten?’
‘Are you offering to cook for me, Red?’
‘In your dreams!’
He followed her down the hall and into the kitchen, and she was aware of him every inch of the way. ‘Actually, I ate an hour ago.’ He saw her looking round for signs of the meal and tsked. ‘Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m fully house-trained, Red. I clean up after myself.’
‘That puts you in a minority of men, I imagine,’ she responded dryly. Getting a bowl from the cupboard, she filled it with cereal and sliced bananas and strawberries on the top, then added milk.
Gray hooked out a chair from the table, twisted it around and sat down, resting his arms on the back. ‘I can do any household chore, including cleaning the toilet.’
‘Quite a catch, then!’ Shelby riposted, sitting down opposite him. With the width of the table between them she should have felt more at ease but, no matter how big the proportions of the kitchen were, they shrank now that he was in the room. Her awareness of him was growing exponentially and, just as she had feared, she knew she would never be able to eat in here without picturing him as he looked now. Far too attractive and tempting as sin.
To prove it, one lazy eyebrow quirked her way, giving him that devastating rakish look she liked so much. ‘You don’t think a woman would want me for my looks?’
Clamping down on her responsive senses, she sent him a mocking smile. ‘You know you�
��re drop dead gorgeous, so stop fishing for compliments!’
Gray’s blue eyes took on an intriguing gleam. ‘Isn’t that a strange way to describe a man you hate and despise?’
Shelby managed to look him in the eye and keep her colour under control. ‘It doesn’t exactly thrill me that I still find you attractive,’ she told him honestly. ‘You might be good to look at, but women want more than a pretty face. You flit from woman to woman like a bee. The truth is you’ve got no staying power, Gray.’
He raised a lazy eyebrow questioningly. ‘Is that so? I hate to contradict a lady, but you’d be surprised at my constancy.’
Shelby had good reason to look doubtful. ‘You’re seriously trying to tell me there’s one woman out there who’s important to you? I don’t believe it!’ she scoffed.
He accepted that with a tilt of his head. ‘Nevertheless, she exists. I fell in love with her a long time ago,’ he confirmed, and in an instant her heart felt as if it had been violently wrenched apart.
It was one thing to know he didn’t feel anything for her other than a strong physical attraction, it was quite another to know there was someone he did care for. Jealousy was a bitter taste in her mouth. A small voice wanted to cry out: why couldn’t it be me? The truth was, the heart went its own way. Obeyed its own rules. Swallowing her dismay, she looked at him curiously.
‘Why haven’t you snapped her up?’ she asked the obvious question, to which he grimaced.
‘Unforeseen circumstances keep getting in the way, and our lives went in different directions,’ he revealed matter-of-factly.
Shelby frowned. ‘She doesn’t know how you feel?’
Gray’s shrug was resigned. ‘I never had the chance to tell her.’
Shelby stared down at her breakfast, feeling strangely sad. If he was to be believed, he was in the same boat she was, caring for someone who didn’t know they existed. Secretly she shared a moment of empathy with him.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said simply, and drew an ironic smile from him.
‘Pity for the enemy, Red? That’s unlike you,’ he taunted, and the moment of empathy was lost under a flash of anger at his response.
‘You’re impossible. She doesn’t know how well off she is,’ she snapped back. ‘Without a doubt you’d find a way to stab her in the back. You’re very good at manipulating situations.’
‘Put it down to my training,’ he advised in amusement.
Shelby concentrated on finishing what was left in her dish before shooting him a haughty look. ‘I had no idea they taught you to lie and cheat women in the army. Even now I can’t imagine you in uniform. How could you stand to be given orders when you like your own way so much?’
Gray rubbed a thumbnail along the ridge of his nose and gave her a wry look. ‘I was an officer. Which meant I gave the orders.’
Tipping her head, Shelby studied him. ‘I suppose I should have guessed. Now I come to think of it, you did have shorter hair for a time. You wear it longer now.’
There was a roguish gleam in his eye as he watched her watching him. ‘I like women to run their fingers through it,’ he said just a tad huskily, and it sent a tiny shock wave along her nervous system.
The thought having been planted in her brain, Shelby couldn’t help but wonder what it would feel like. Silky and full of life, was her guess. Of course, her fingers started to itch to test it out, which was never going to happen. ‘Thanks for the heads up, but why are you bothering to tell me of all people?’
Cerulean eyes held hers. ‘Oh, let’s just say for future reference,’ he told her, and now her nerves did a spectacular somersault.
She arched her brows mockingly. ‘What makes you think I would ever want to run my fingers through your hair?’
‘You might decide to try a spot of seduction again.’
Her heart skipped a beat, even though she knew he was just playing games again. ‘Do I look that stupid to you? Can you really see that happening with the way I feel about you?’
Gray shrugged his shoulders. ‘Why not? For all that you profess to despise me, you want me. You were even thinking about kissing me a few minutes ago.’
Shelby caught back a tiny gasp as her nerves jolted in shock. She hadn’t been expecting him to say that. ‘Was I indeed?’ she challenged, and he smiled mockingly.
‘We both know what you were thinking. Why didn’t you do it?’
She had no idea what the purpose of this game was, only that she didn’t find it amusing. ‘Been there. Done that. You pushed me away that time, remember?’
‘You were slightly the worse for drink. What else could I do?’ Gray answered and, just as easily as that, there was an unexpected nuance in the air.
That came from way out in left field, and Shelby shook her head to clear it. ‘Hold on a second. Are you trying to tell me that had I not been the slightest tad tipsy, you would have acted differently that evening?’
Gray merely shrugged again. ‘We’ll never know, will we? You were slightly the worse for wine, and I have rules about such things.’
She stared at him with a sinking feeling. To know that the Dutch courage she had needed had worked against her was a bitter pill to swallow. It made her response all the more waspish. ‘Very noble, I’m sure.’
Gray stood up and replaced the chair. ‘You’d be surprised how noble I can be.’
Still inwardly smarting from his confession, and the knowledge that she had come that close to realising her dream, Shelby rose too. Not that it changed anything. She would only ever have been a substitute for the real thing. True, she hadn’t known that at the time. She had gone on dreaming, and he had gone on to perpetrate the heinous crime for which she had sworn never to forgive him. Now he was playing a new game, seemingly intent on getting her to explore with him the attraction they shared. It was a potentially hurtful one—though he didn’t know that. He had no idea how deep her feelings for him went. She wanted to keep it that way. Which meant she must not let him get too close. A relationship of any kind was out of the question.
‘Was it the same nobility that stopped you kissing me just now? We both know you were thinking about it,’ she said, firing his own words back at him, and he didn’t deny wanting to kiss her.
‘No,’ he answered with a shake of his head. ‘The fact is, mixing business with pleasure is dangerous. Right now I should be concentrating on protecting you, nothing more. Allowing myself to be side-tracked could get you harmed.’
Oh, he certainly knew all the right things to say to reel a woman in. She played along, waiting to see where this was going. ‘I had no idea I had such an unsettling effect on you.’ If asked she wouldn’t have doubted for a second that he was strong enough to keep both parts of his life separate. Yet here he was implying otherwise.
Gray shook his head wryly. ‘I knew you were going to be trouble when you were in your teens. Even then you had the power to break a man’s resolve.’
To Shelby, who remembered everything about that time with crystal clarity, this was a total contradiction. ‘I thought I was a child without the allure to attract a man like you?’ she reminded him curtly.
‘I lied,’ he returned simply. ‘Like I said, you were slightly over the limit, and I have rules. I needed to put you at arm’s length in a hurry, and that was the quickest way.’
Late in the day though it was, those words were a small sop to her pride. To know that he had been acting chivalrously healed a wound. However, there were bigger ones that those words didn’t touch.
‘So, it was nobility that stopped you taking me to bed the other time, was it?’ she said, challenging his reasoning, wondering what he would choose to say in mitigation.
He went still, eyes locking with hers. ‘Why don’t you tell me?’ he countered softly.
Shelby’s lip curled. ‘I think Dad’s orders specifically stopped you from going too far, and you followed them to the letter, didn’t you? It didn’t bother you whether you had me or not. It was all a means to an end!’
‘You mean Dad letting the cat out of the bag before you could say anything?’ she jeered with a toss of her head.
‘I had hoped for more time with you,’ he told her, and she affected a look of disbelief, though his words played havoc with her senses.
‘What on earth for? Your job was done,’ she gibed, and Gray ground his teeth in irritation at her tone.
‘Don’t put yourself down.’ His voice was suddenly serious. ‘From an enticing young lady, you’d turned into a stunningly desirable woman.’
Her brows arched delicately as she heard that. ‘The kind of woman you’d still like to get up close and personal with?’
‘Very close. Very personal,’ he admitted with just that husky edge to his voice which hinted at hidden fires and steaming hot passion.
It sent a powerful thrill of anticipation through her system, and it was all she could do to keep a cool head. ‘Wow, you really know how to turn up the heat. I guess most women would be falling at your feet right about now?’
His lips twitched. ‘Something like that.’
Shelby stared at him, anger starting a slow simmer inside her. She knew the game he was playing now. He wanted her and believed he could have her, if he played his cards right. Well, he was about to find out how wrong he was. She looked him squarely in the eye. ‘Unluckily for you, I’m not most women.’
Gray folded his arms and studied her carefully. ‘No, you’re not,’ he agreed, and there was an odd sense of satisfaction in the way he said it that puzzled her.
Walking over to him, she placed her palms against his cheeks, ignoring the prickle of heat which transmitted itself to her senses. ‘I wouldn’t get involved with you if you were the last man on earth,’ she declared witheringly and stepped back with a shudder of distaste.
Gray’s nostrils flared as he absorbed the insult, and an intense gleam danced in his eyes. ‘That’s your pride talking. Don’t let it get in the way of what you want,’ he advised seductively, and she raised her chin defiantly.