by Sandra Field
‘Maybe…’ She started to speak, but then his head lowered and his lips brushed the line of her jaw, and all at once she forgot what she was going to say.
Again and again his lips brushed like butterfly wings up towards her chin, stealing her breath away at the shivery delight. There they paused, hovering over her lips as if debating whether to kiss her or not. Silently her body screamed yes, and she looked at him from beneath weighted lids. Then, just when she thought it wasn’t going to happen, Gray uttered a strangled sound and lowered his lips to hers.
It was like magic, the gentle touch out of proportion to the reaction which went on inside her. She had waited such a long time for this to happen again that for a second or two she actually felt dizzy. It was everything she remembered, and more. His lips explored hers in tantalisingly soft brushes, but then his tongue swept across the same spot, tasting her, and Shelby gasped, her lips parting at this newest pleasure to bombard her system. Immediately he took advantage of the situation to deepen the kiss, his tongue gliding between her lips to begin a sensual exploration.
Shelby gave a sighing moan as she angled her head the better to accommodate him. Shivers of pure delight travelled along her nerve endings, instantly arousing, and she met his tongue with her own, engaging in a dual that stoked the fire until it threatened to burst into flames. She had no intention of stopping, for she wanted to experience this, to know all there was to know about making love to Gray, but he had other ideas. From somewhere he found the strength to break the kiss and pull away enough to look down at her.
‘I shouldn’t have done that,’ he confessed none too steadily. Rolling off her, he sat up.
Shelby sat up beside him, feeling bereft because he was no longer touching her. ‘No, you shouldn’t,’ she agreed gruffly.
He glanced sideways at her. ‘Why didn’t you push me away?’ he asked curiously, and she was glad the darkness hid the flush on her cheeks.
‘Put it down to temporary madness,’ she riposted dryly.
‘This situation is enough to drive anyone insane, Red,’ he agreed ironically as he rose to his feet and held out a hand to help her up. ‘It’s late, we’d better get some sleep.’ Sighing, she allowed him to pull her to her feet. ‘Have you learned your lesson?’
‘Oh, yes,’ Shelby agreed, turning away before he could catch a glimpse of her expression.
She had learned a lesson tonight, but not the one he thought. She had learned that despite everything that had happened between them, she was still beyond hope where he was concerned. He only had to touch her and she forgot all the reasons why she shouldn’t let it happen. He had kissed her, and all thought of fighting him had vanished like morning mist.
She took the memory of that back to bed with her. As she lay there, recalling every vivid second of it, she knew he was her destiny. Her life was inextricably bound with his, and it was time she stopped fighting fate.
CHAPTER SIX
THE next day was pretty much the same as the previous one, only this time Shelby didn’t make any solo trips. The vases did look good on the fireplace, and Gray wisely forbore to mention how they had been acquired. A strained peace settled over them.
They were back at her apartment by late afternoon, and Shelby was busy getting her notes up-to-date and writing herself reminders of what she had to do tomorrow, when the telephone rang.
‘Shelby Greer,’ she identified herself into the receiver and waited for a response. When it didn’t come, she held the receiver away from her ear and frowned at it, as if that would make a difference, then tried again. ‘Hello, this is Shelby Greer. How can I help you?’
Again there was no answer but, for a second, she thought she could hear breathing before there came the sound of the receiver at the other end being carefully replaced. She blinked in surprise and slowly returned the receiver to its rest.
‘What’s wrong?’ Gray wanted to know. He had been standing by the window staring out, but when she glanced his way she saw he was now watching her.
She shrugged. ‘Nothing, really. They just hung up without saying anything, that’s all.’
Gray took his hands from his trouser pockets and came over to her, a frown etched on to his brow. ‘You actually heard the phone go down?’ he asked sharply, and her nerves skittered.
‘Yes, I did. And, before that, I could swear I heard breathing,’ she added, and even before she had finished speaking he had taken up the phone and was busily dialling.
When his first call was fruitless he dialled another number and had a briefly worded conversation with someone at the other end. Then he set the phone down and waited. Shelby had no trouble picking up his tension, and the reason for it sprang instantly to mind.
‘Do you think it was him?’ she asked shakily. This was the first time she had had contact with the person who was making threats against her. It made it real suddenly.
‘Unless you’re in the habit of receiving hoax calls,’ he said by way of confirmation.
Shelby pressed a hand to her stomach, which suddenly felt rather queasy. ‘He’s never contacted me directly before. Why would he do that?’
Gray looked at her steadily and didn’t hold back the truth. ‘Because he’s upping the stakes. This is what I was afraid of.’
Her breathing grew ragged and her heart was racing like mad. Unable to sit still, she stood and paced about the small room. ‘You think I’m in even more danger now?’
He nodded solemnly, not troubling to remind her that he had always thought she was in danger. ‘Unless we get a lucky break and the friend I called can trace the call. The hope was to catch him before he put his words into action. Seems as if we’re going to have to go to plan B.’
She was rapidly coming to realise that she had taken the whole thing far too casually. ‘We’re on plan A at the moment, then?’ she asked, and received a nod of assent. ‘What’s plan B, and is there a plan C?’
‘Plan B is to get you away from here to a safe place,’ he informed her in the serious tone she was used to getting from him.
‘Is there such a place?’ Suddenly she didn’t feel as if she could be safe anywhere.
He must have picked up something in her tone, for he gave her an encouraging smile. ‘I know of several, but don’t worry, I intend to keep you safe and well. You’ll be OK. Trust me.’
‘I do,’ she replied honestly. The instant she said it, she knew it was true. It was because she trusted him that he had hurt her before.
He stared at her for a moment, a strangely arrested look on his face, then he smiled. ‘Good. That should make plan C easier to accomplish.’
‘You think it will come to that? We’ll have to go to plan C?’
He shrugged. ‘You never can tell, but it’s best to keep the option open.’
The telephone rang again and Gray snatched up the receiver. He listened intently and Shelby could see from the expression on his face that it was not good news.
‘They couldn’t trace the call,’ he told her when he hung up the phone.
Feeling chilly, Shelby ran her hands along her arms, trying to instil some warmth into them. ‘Do you have any idea who this man is?’
‘Oscar had been able to narrow it down to a handful of possibles. Of those, one has dropped out of sight. This is the one we’re concentrating on,’ he enlarged, surprising her, for she hadn’t known any of this. Then again, she hadn’t taken it seriously. If she had, maybe her father would have told her.
‘Does he have a name?’
‘Keith Mobley. Does it ring any bells? He has some pretty radical ideas, which your father refused to print in his papers. Mobley didn’t take kindly to that and threatened to make him pay.’
Shelby shuddered. ‘Why wasn’t I told all this?’
‘Oscar chose to keep the full details from you because he didn’t want to worry you.’
She could almost hear her father telling everyone, Don’t tell Shelby. He wanted to protect her, but it had meant she hadn’t taken the threat se
riously. One creepy phone call had changed that. ‘What do we do now?’
‘Exactly what we have been doing, only more so. Meanwhile, I’ll set the wheels in motion for getting you away. Are you OK with that, or are we going to have a fight about it?’ he asked her ironically.
She shook her head. ‘My fighting days are over,’ she declared vehemently, only to hear him laugh.
‘That will be the day.’
Shelby cast him an indignant glare. ‘I shall be as good as gold from now on,’ she promised, which once again failed to have the desired effect.
His eyes carried that familiar roguish gleam she rather enjoyed seeing. ‘Not too good, I hope,’ he goaded and she folded her arms with a huff.
‘I’m being serious now, Gray!’
His smile appeared. ‘Honey, so am I.’
Her hands slapped down on her thighs in a helpless gesture, and she was just about to take issue with him when she realised what he was doing. ‘OK, I get it. You’re trying to distract me.’
Gray’s lips twitched. ‘You were looking a little frantic.’
Shelby shifted uncomfortably. ‘Yes, well, I suddenly realised that anything could have happened to me whilst I wasn’t taking the threat seriously. It was a lesson. I’m sorry I gave you and Dad such a hard time.’
Thankfully for her pride, Gray didn’t say, I told you so. ‘Tell him that next time you see him. Now, if you’ve finished with the phone for a while, I’d like to make some calls.’
‘Could you use the one in the lounge? I still have work to do.’
‘Sure, no problem,’ he agreed, and left the room.
Shelby sat down at her desk, but it was a while before she could concentrate on her work. She felt foolish for not believing her father. He wouldn’t make a fuss about nothing, and she should have accepted that long before this. She owed him a very big apology. Not to mention Gray, who had had to take all the flak.
Eventually she managed to get back to her designs, and was amazed to find hours had passed when she finally shut her computer down. The flat sounded quiet and, curious, she went in search of Gray. She found him sitting at the end of the couch, talking into the telephone. He put it down after a moment or two and must have sensed her presence for he glanced up as she walked towards him. One eyebrow raised questioningly.
‘Everything OK?’
Shelby looked at him, really looked, and saw the strain and tiredness around his eyes and mouth. His concern was etched there, and she was annoyed with herself for not seeing it before.
‘I’m fine. How are you? You look…tired,’ she asked in return, sinking down on to the seat beside him.
He shrugged that off. ‘I’ll be fine as soon as we catch this creep. He’s gone to ground. Talk about déjà vu!’ he added in an undertone, rubbing a hand around the back of his neck, easing the strain.
Shelby bit her lip. She had forgotten that this was not the first time he had been through something like this. Her attitude must have given him nightmares.
‘Was it like this that other time?’ she asked, and when his head shot round she hastened to qualify her question. ‘I’m not just being nosy. I would like to know what we’re up against.’
His jaw set. ‘I prefer not to talk about it. Brings back too many bad memories,’ he returned grimly, and she leant towards him.
‘Have you ever talked to anyone? Shared the pain? Bottling it up can’t help,’ she probed gently, and his mouth twisted wryly.
‘It’s hardly a topic for conversation at dinner.’
‘True,’ Shelby proceeded carefully. ‘But there’s just the two of us here. Can’t you talk to me? I’m a good listener, and I have a vested interest. Besides, I’ve made things worse for you, and I would very much like to put that right. Please talk to me, Gray,’ she pleaded earnestly, and he sighed, closing his eyes, leaning his head against the back of the couch.
‘It’s not pretty,’ he told her in a low voice.
‘I can handle that. Believe me, I don’t have to have everything sugar-coated,’ she returned equally softly. ‘Who was being threatened?’
Gray ran his hands over his face, as if to ease the stress of remembering. ‘The family of an old friend. We were in one of those warring African states. Piet had something the rebels wanted, but he refused to hand it over.’ He took a deep breath. ‘So they threatened his wife and children. Piet called for my help, but I failed him.’ The statement was made with such bitter self-recrimination that it made her gasp.
‘What do you mean, you failed him? I don’t believe it,’ she protested, instinctively protective, and he looked at her with angry eyes.
‘What would you call it when I let his wife die?’ Gray demanded grittily, and shock was a lump of ice in her stomach.
‘H-his w-wife?’ she stammered, and his lips twisted into an ugly line.
‘I told you it wasn’t pretty,’ he grated, and Shelby drew in a steadying breath.
‘Tell me,’ she urged, knowing it was not as simple as that. Could not possibly be.
Gray leant forward, head bent over his knees. ‘Maybe we should leave it there,’ he suggested, but she couldn’t, for his sake.
‘How did she die?’
He glanced at her sideways in silent debate, then sat back again. ‘It happened when Piet was away making the arrangements to get his family out. The rebels broke into the compound one night and set fire to the house. We’d had no rain. Everything was a tinderbox. In minutes we had an inferno. I had been sleeping at the front of the house; Jen and the children were at the back. The children were nearest, so I went for them…’ Gray’s voice tailed off, and Shelby knew what was coming. He took a long breath before continuing. ‘I got them out, but when I tried to go back for Jen, I couldn’t get in. I don’t know how many times I tried before some neighbours managed to pull me away. I failed.’
Shelby’s eyes burned with unshed tears, and she drew in a ragged breath as she absorbed his pain. It was the most tragic thing she had ever heard. ‘You didn’t fail. You saved the children,’ she said unevenly, placing a soothing hand on his arm.
‘Jen died,’ he returned harshly, and she bit her lip, wiping away a tear before it fell.
‘Yes, she died, but you saved her precious children. She would have wanted you to do that. Any mother would. You didn’t let her die. It was a tragedy that could have been so much worse. You’ve got to forgive yourself, Gray. There’s only so much any one man can do, and you did it.’ Her heart ached. She wanted to hug him until all his pain was gone, but could only sit there, watching.
Gray didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he rose to his feet and crossed to the window, looking out, though Shelby doubted he saw much. Finally, he spoke over his shoulder.
‘Now do you see what a determined person can do?’ he asked her, and she sighed.
‘Yes, and I’m sorry for the crass things I said.’ She had just wanted to hurt him as he had hurt her. She hadn’t known what she was dealing with.
He turned to her then, expression determined. ‘If you mean what you say, then the best apology you can make would be to watch out for yourself.’
Shelby stood up, holding his eyes with her own. ‘I will. Thank you for telling me.’
Gray closed the gap between them, reaching out to tuck a stray twist of hair behind her ear. ‘You were right, you are a good listener.’
She smiled faintly as her heart expanded with pleasure that she had been able to help him in some small way. ‘I’m glad I could help. Listen, I’m going to grab a quick shower before dinner. Shall we order something in?’
He smiled for the first time in ages. ‘Leave it to me.’
Shelby retreated to her bedroom. What an awful thing to have happened. Her heart went out to him. The knowledge that he lived with that on his conscience made her want to cry. Nobody deserved to feel such pain. Especially not Gray.
How she wished she could have gone to him and held him, but that was impossible. All she could do was listen and try to
heal the wound. She knew all about wounds, having one of her own. Because of it she had carried a grudge, and what good had it done her? So what if Gray didn’t love her? To say no to what he was offering would be cutting off her nose to spite her face.
She was, above all else, a realist. You couldn’t love to order, nor make someone love you. And though that often made her heart ache, given a choice, she would rather have this moment with him now than a lifetime of nothing. Carpe diem. It was that simple. Seize the day. Life was short, and who knew what was around the corner. So she would take what she could. There would be time enough later for regrets. At least this way she would always have some good memories to warm her heart in the long winter of the rest of her life.
The following morning Gray didn’t reveal much about the plans he had been making the night before. All he would tell her over the breakfast table was that they were progressing nicely and, with luck, they would be leaving within the next few days. They could have gone now, but he wanted the security checked out first.
Shelby tried to play twenty questions, to get some idea of where they would be going, but all she got in response was a smile and a shake of the head. Finally she sighed testily. ‘How will I know what clothes to take if you don’t tell me where we’re going?’ she complained with feminine logic, and received a long look for her pains.
‘It’s summer, Red. Take a wild stab at what clothes you’ll need,’ he suggested dryly, and she very nearly threw her cup at him. ‘What plans do you have for today?’
‘I need to spend time on the Tyrwhit-Jones woman’s design. Lord, I keep thinking of her as the Awful Antonia. It would be just my luck to say it to her face. What else? Oh, yes, I have to call in on another client in the wilds of deepest Sussex. She isn’t quite sure about something, so I promised to put it right. We’d better do that first. I’ll drive.’
Two hours later they finally left suburbia behind and could bowl along the fairly empty country roads. The only car in sight was the one far behind them.
‘Connie’s a dear, but she lives in the back of beyond!’ Shelby exclaimed, though not really complaining.