by Lucian Bane
“I’m sure you’re curious as to what I’m going to feed you. What I’m cooking up here is a masterpiece of culinary grandeur that the likes of King Nebuchadnezzar has not even tasted.” Solomon laughed at his arrogance. “They say in order to be a truly good cook, you have to pretend you know what you’re doing at all times. So, prepare your mouth for its first culinary orgasm.” Oh shit. “Sorry,” he muttered, “bad choice of words.” He struggled for a few seconds for something to make it right. “And for dessert,” he snapped, looking around for the bag of goodies. “We’re having double chocolate brownies. Too much healthy food is never good. You have to keep the sinfully good stuff in your diet or you’ll die.” Wow, why not just read to her from the obituaries? Would be less morbid.
Thirty minutes later and Solomon was settling in the chair next to the bed to feed her. He’d ran out of things to talk about and decided to hum happy tunes. Anything to keep the air free of bad thoughts and those nightmares he saw her having.
When it came time to wake her, he wished he knew her name. Not touching her if he could help it seemed smart and safe. “Hello,” he called softly from the chair. “Dinner’s ready.”
Chapter Six
Chaos remained with her eyes closed at the man’s soft call. She was under great duress. She needed the bathroom and didn’t know how to say it. On top of that, he’d spent the past thirty minutes using his bewitching powers on her. There was no doubt about his voice having powers now. Even though she deflected it in her mind, it still found its way into her body. Why she should fight it was beyond her. Habit, she supposed. She needed to let go and allow whatever was to happen, happen, but not as bad as she needed to release her bladder.
“I need the bathroom,” she blurted, no longer caring.
“Oh, hell, right!” Like he just realized she had a bladder. “I’m so sorry. Uhhhh,..” Sounded like he searched around. “I can carry you to the bathroom. And wait outside the door. Or you can try to walk? I would advise against that though.”
“Try to walk,” she whispered, already knowing that was not happening.
“I’ll very slowly sit you up.”
“I may have an accident,” she gasped.
“Okay, if that happens, don’t worry about it. Would you like a bedpan? I can find something like it and you can do it under the covers.”
“I’ll make a mess,” she said, then gasped in agony as he helped sit her up.
“Oh God, let me carry you sweetheart, please,” he begged, sounding like it hurt him as much.
Chaos couldn’t speak as she held her mouth tightly shut just like she always did when in excruciating pain. She was sure she’d never experienced this kind or this much all at once. Her labored breaths shot through her nostrils, hurting her swollen nose. And her lips throbbed from being pressed together in order to keep her mouth shut. And her eyes, God, her eyes. She fought not to clench those too hard, they felt like they might burst any second.
He was suddenly scooping her carefully up and quickly transporting her. She fought to open her eyes just a little and it made all of her body lock up in pain, her head especially. What had Master done to her? Why had he done it to this degree?
“I’m sitting you on the toilet.”
Moaning whimpers won out over Chaos’ fight to keep herself quiet. Soon, an avalanche of them pushed at her windpipes. It was like fighting not to breathe. Too desperate to pee she let them out, not caring anymore. “My dress,” she gasped, feeling it in the way.
“I’m not looking,” he said, yanking the dress out from under her, causing pain to shoot up her spine. “God damn, I’m sorry,” he hissed when a sharp scream shot out even as her bladder released.
“Oh God,” she gasped when the pain in her abdomen slowly lessened. “Oh God!” she repeated, realizing she latched onto both his forearms with a death grip, her entire body trembling. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, not sure why and for what, just that she was. For everything and everybody.
“You’re fine,” he whispered.
“I’m sorry,” she said again, the words shaking out of her.
“Don’t be sorry, hey, hey, you’re doing great,” he said.
Chaos welcomed the powers of his voice in that moment, she needed them. Anything to end this horrific pain and humiliation. “I’m done,” she whispered, fighting down the stupid feelings his voice seemed to be producing an over-abundance of in her. There was always some kind of negative to powers and this must be it with his. With her trauma it was causing a mountain of it, crushing her already depleted resistance.
“I’m going to carry you back now.”
“I need… to wipe.” The words barely made it past her shaking, swollen lips.
“You can skip that and shower after you eat and gain your strength. You can take the dress off under the covers when you get to bed and I’ll get you the fresh new nightgown I got you. You’ll be clean, okay?”
Her mind got stuck at take the dress off. How would she ever manage it? She only nodded ready to not be on a toilet holding his hands another second. He carried her back to the bed and the pain in her body took care of any shame she might entertain. And with every bewitching word he uttered, those awful feelings threatened to overwhelm her. What would happen if they did? She was suddenly stuck between fighting them and trying to figure out how to use them to help her. All this through pain that choked her and made her need to vomit.
“Dear God,” he said once she was lying down again. “That was horrific.”
Chaos would’ve cringed in shame had it not been for the pain waves she was riding.
“I mean for you,” he said, as though hearing her thoughts.
Could he? Were his powers that strong?
“Oh God, you really need a doctor,” he mumbled, his voice moving around like maybe he were walking back and forth next to her.
“No,” she ground out.
“I know, I know, I’m just saying you really do, you need real pain medicine not this kiddie shit.”
“I’m…” Several seconds passed before she managed to get the word out. “Fine.”
He shot out a single laugh that sounded angry. “Sure you are. And we’re waiting to change you, you don’t need to move another inch.”
Pain ravaged Chaos and had her body and mind scattered between what she wanted to think and feel and what she should. Guilt and shame seemed in order but weakness had never been her strong suit. And just when she had it in her mind what was the right thing to think and feel and do, the pain would slam her into a wall of confusion and flailing desperation.
She allowed Solomon to give her more medicine, not caring as much as he did whether or not it was too much. She’d take whatever she could get at that point. She wanted to just sleep. Go to a dark place inside herself and just sleep for hours. Then she’d be fine when she woke.
****
Chaos didn’t remember when she fell asleep or that she even did. Or when Master had finally come for her and taken her back. She tried to look around but couldn’t lift her head. She realized why finally. It was strapped down. She recognized the dark peeling paint on the quickly passing walls and the busted out ceiling lights above.
The Fourth Floor Halls.
Panic slammed her at why she would be there. She’d only been once and it was during early training. Chaos fought against the straps as the gurney wheels screeched in her ears like a hundred rabid bats, clawing their way out of the decrepit halls where the insane once roamed. The smell of moldy dirt ushered in memories that hacked her sanity into to a million pieces and sent her into a frenzy of desperate jerking and thrashing. “No, no,” she gasped. “No, not that, not that! Please! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she begged, not knowing what she did to earn the horrific process again. “I’m sorry, pleeeease! Maaaaaster, help me!”
“Let’s use the hydro blanket. Saves electricity.”
The deep sound of Master’s calm voice shot panic through her.
“No! Master no, please, I’m
sorry I’ll do better I’ll do better!” The words tore through her lungs as she jerked in the restraints like her limbs were on fire.
The sight of the white sheet lowering down from above sent Chaos scrambling inside herself to get away. But she couldn’t escape the burning press of the freshly boiled sheet onto every part of her naked body. She grit her teeth and jerked as the material pressed tighter. Loud panting shot out of her mouth as she kept it turned away from the sheet even as firm fingers forced her head back. “Face forward,” the soft female voice said. Chaos didn’t recognize it. Was it the queen? Why would she want this?
“Please,” Chaos grit out, clenching her eyes shut tight.
“Tie it tighter,” Master muttered serenely.
The sheet pulled until Chaos was pinned hard to the bed, making breathing difficult. She opened her mouth wide, unable to stop the sobs mixed in with her labored pants. She had to get her mind out of there, far away so she could let go.
But they were going too fast.
“Set it on three hundred volts to start.”
Chaos trembled with the terror she fought so hard against. Vicious whimpers strangled out of her as Master stroked her foot then leg. The begging was over. There was only surviving. She strained every muscle against the straps, waiting for the jolt that would take everything from her. From the contents of her bowels and bladder, to the desecrated remnants of her foul mind.
The jolts bit into her body like a giant bear with metal teeth and shook her. Shook her until her bones and brain rattled in her body.
“Wake up. Hey! Wake up!”
Chaos wasn’t sure how it was possible, she just took the sudden window and latched on to the voice pulling her from there, pulling her out of the horror.
“You’re having a nightmare,” the gasp came next to her.
Ragged gasps mixed with strangled screams filled her ears. Oh God, they were hers. “I was…” She assessed her body, still shaking from the electricity. “I’m… hurt,” she gasped. “I can’t see.”
“You’ve been sleeping a long time, you were in an accident,” he quickly and quietly explained. “I found you in the woods, you’re at my house, my name is Solomon.”
A huge gasp escaped her finally and she realized she held his forearms tightly with both hands.
“If you lay down, I’ll remove the bandages I put on your eyes while you slept. They were pretty messed up, it should have helped with the swelling.”
“Thirsty,” she croaked.
“Yes, okay,” he said. “You’ve been sleeping for ten hours straight. That last round of medicine must’ve given you a break. I’ll take off the bandages after you drink.”
Yes, after she drank. She lowered her hands, swallowing past the pain in her throat. He lifted her head and she drank, noticing the odd taste.
“Sorry, you may be tasting my herbal concoction for your lips. To help with pain and swelling. It definitely worked, they’re half the size they were.”
She remembered all of it now. The final training, the final phase, the beating. That part wasn’t a nightmare, it was real. But she was okay now. She wasn’t on the Fourth Floor. She didn’t consider herself weak but that place terrified her. It wasn’t just what they’d done to her there it was the place itself. The air was thick with the souls of unpurged evil.
God, she must be hideous to look at. She tried to remember her throat hurting this much before. It felt swollen and raw. She did a mental assessment and recalled the excruciating pain she’d been in.
“How do you feel? Scale of one to ten, ten being amazing.”
She remembered he’d done this earlier. She felt like… “Four.”
He let out a gasp that sounded relieved. “That’s better than one or two. Thank you God.”
She angled her head toward him when he began undoing the bandages. He thanked his God with passion. Indicating he’d prayed for her. The notion gave her those weird feelings his voice invoked in her. The ones she didn’t understand or like.
Pain hit her eyes when the bandages came off.
“Don’t try anything, just keep them closed for a bit.”
“Are you a doctor?” she wondered, angling her nose toward the smell of food. Her stomach came alive at the prospect of eating.
“Not really. I have some experience here and there. I took a couple of courses in Kinesiology is all.”
“Is… that food?”
“Yes! You’re hungry?”
She nodded quickly, feeling like she might die now if she didn’t get food that second.
“Coming right up. I’ll have to heat it, give me two minutes.”
While he rattled on about what he’d cooked, Chaos focused on getting her eyes to work. She finally managed to open them and let out a silent gasp of triumph. It stung and pain shot into her skull but she didn’t stop, she needed to see so badly. She needed to finally see where she was.
No. She needed to finally see this Solomon.
“Don’t try too hard,” he called from across the room.
“Tired of being blind,” she whispered, struggling to focus slowly. The room was large. But the colors were warm it seemed. She followed his form, her body tensing as it headed toward her. She stared as he sat next to the bed, his form blurry then not blurry then blurry again.
“Don’t blink too much,” he whispered.
Her eyes refused to listen as they blinked him into a halfway clear picture. Chaos hadn’t meant to gasp but… she’d not imagined such a person attached to that voice. What a contradiction. It wasn’t his size that surprised her, his frame was what she’d consider medium build and fitting his voice but it was his beauty.
“Not what you expected?” he asked, looking down at the bowl, stirring.
“I’ve… never seen…”
“Such a mess?” He chuckled and the sound raced along her skin like warm water.
“Such beauty,” she said, too fascinated to care it might be the wrong term.
The boom of laughter he gave said it wasn’t wrong, but funny. His mirth at such a magnitude made her pause. What an exceptional sound and power it had. And those eyes. They glowed with a brilliant blue that reminded her of Grandmother’s special oil jars when placed in the sunlight. Chaos had always loved the jars. Had imagined having a dress like them, one that shined like the glass.
“You’re serious,” he finally said, amazed.
“Yes.” She found it odd he didn’t believe her then remembered he didn’t know she wasn’t one to tell lies. Master had always taught her to speak plainly and directly with him. He detested trickery and word sorcery. “And hungry,” she remembered, her stomach focusing on the food in his lap now.
Chaos watched him stir the food. Then he lifted the spoon and blew on it. She blinked her eyes, wanting to study his mouth. Every part of his face was perfect. His sharp nose, his full lips. Even the hair growing along his jaw accentuated his perfection. He was prettier than any woman she’d ever seen, though she’d not seen but a handful in the Order. Surely the queen was as beautiful. Chaos wasn’t beautiful at all and that had never bothered her. Master said beauty was really a beast in silk shoes and that Chaos was beautiful in her wretchedness. That familiar pride she usually felt came in the form of a sharp pang in her chest. She’d always felt good about who she was and why she was. She was the Order’s Redemptrix, it didn’t matter what she looked like.
When the spoon came her way, she leaned for it, trying not to go too quickly and make a mess. He fed her so very slowly and carefully. She fought the urge to take the bowl and devour it like an animal. She somehow allowed him to take three forevers to empty the delicious contents of the dish into her still ravenous stomach.
“More?”
“Please,” she said. He nodded and Chaos stared again at his mouth. Was it always firm and hard? She searched his eyes now.
“You keep staring at me.”
He stared back at her with an intensity that made her look away. Master stared with hardness like tha
t and she knew to defer to it. She focused on her lap, not liking it with him. There was something much different in the scrutiny of his brilliant gaze. It seemed to see deeper, to see more than she wanted him to. Especially while she sat there like a broken hand-me-down doll. “The food was good.”
“Right,” he said lightly, hurrying off.
She watched him go. He was very strange. Everything he did was strange as well as how he did it. Careful, slow, gentle. It was in such contrast to the harsh lines of his beautiful face. Something dawned on her. Maybe he thought she was handicapped. A lot of people in the town were. “I’m normal. You know.”
The silence that followed made Chaos feel just the opposite. “Of course you are,” he finally said. “Am I making you feel abnormal?”
She chanced a look his way. “You just… treat me like… there’s something different about me.”
“I’m treating you like you’ve been through something very traumatic. I’m just being careful.”
“Of what?”
“Of scaring you? Hurting you? Accidentally injuring you?” He finally came back and Chaos continued to study every aspect of how he moved. The amount of grace in his limbs indicated he was highly skilled in something physical. It could have been anything though. Fighting, dancing. Some sport maybe?
He set the food down just out of her crippled reach then hurried to the far side of the room. He returned, wiping something with his t-shirt. The flash of tan skin over hard muscle beneath the material made her insides jerk with… fear she thought.
He sat and handed the flat square thing to her. “Maybe if you see what I see.” he said softly. “Then you’ll get it.”
She stared at the object, realizing it was a mirror that he held out to her. She took it but didn’t lift it before her face. Why did it matter what she looked like? Why should it matter?
“Or you can wait,” he hurried with that same concern as always.
“I can look.”
“I know you can, but maybe it’s too soon.”