by Shona Husk
For the man that he’d been, it was the promise of a better life for his family. He’d seen how the Roman soldiers treated the young women of the Decangli. His daughters weren’t going to be whores to the legion. He’d supported the rebellion in the hope of being free from the invaders.
For the goblin he’d become, it had always been about gold. Life wasn’t worth living without more.
For the man he was now, it was about restoring honor and being someone worthy of loving, being human and all the hurt and joy that entailed. That meant accepting that Nadine may not be able to see past her fear of goblins and see him as a man.
She may not want to see him at all.
***
“There is a gorgeous guy faking appendicitis to see you in room two.” Gina pulled Nadine aside.
“There’s a man here to see me?” Nadine caught up with Gina’s rapid whisper.
“Gray eyes, fashionable stubble, you know, the boyfriend you brought to my wedding, the one you refused to talk about today even though your eyes were red from crying.”
Oh God. Meryn was here. “You admitted him?”
She wasn’t ready to see him again. Maybe she’d never be ready to see him. He was wrong for her. He was an ex-Celtic goblin. What if he turned back?
“No. I snuck him in and put him in a private examination room. What happened?”
“Nothing happened.” Nothing she was going to share anyway. She’d almost called in sick to avoid seeing Gina, but spending the night at home alone hadn’t appealed, so she’d come in and plastered on her fake, I’m-fine smile, which apparently Gina now saw through.
“So you didn’t fight with your boyfriend and he likes to come begging to see you because he enjoys apologizing for no reason?”
“Okay.” She had to tell Gina something so then she could go and get rid of Meryn. “We argued and I learned something about him, and it’s not going to work. Now you can tell him to leave.”
Gina shook her head. “You can do that. He didn’t look like the type who just lets people walk away without a reason. Damn, I can’t believe you let him go after one argument. Everyone loved him at the wedding, even Bryce. What did he do, try to get to know you?”
Nadine crossed her arms. “Very funny. He knows too much. It’s weird.”
Having someone to talk to about her family and her fear of goblins had been nice, but it had gotten out of control too fast. Meryn made her realize that it was possible to fall in love, before stealing her heart and becoming her worst nightmare. She suppressed a shudder even though her skin craved his touch. She didn’t know if she could get past the time he’d spent as a goblin. Did he deserve a second chance when he’d lied to her?
“That ‘weird’ is called a relationship. And if you don’t get used to it and give people a chance, you’ll end up like my canary-loving, single aunt.”
“I don’t even like pet birds.” They should be free to fly, not caged. “Please get rid of him…tell him I’m busy.”
Busy had been her excuse during school and university. Now it was that she worked unsociable hours. While she liked men, she didn’t trust them. But Meryn had been there when the thieves had attacked. He’d told her everything when she’d demanded and she’d repaid him by yelling and running.
“If you don’t want to see him, you go and tell him it’s over.” Gina pointed down the corridor to room two. “And I promise not to let him in again.”
“No. I’m working.” She could be just as stubborn as Gina.
“Take a break. Seriously, Nadine, men like him don’t come around that often. So unless he’s an ax-wielding maniac, give him a chance.”
What could she say? He was a sword-wielding ex-goblin?
She wasn’t sorry the truth had come out but she was scared of who he was, of the life he’d lived over the past two thousand years. He had life experiences she couldn’t relate to…and he was trying to adapt to the modern world. Nadine frowned. He was actually doing a really good job. Better than she’d be doing if she’d been thrown back into Roman-occupied Britain.
But she still didn’t know what to say to him and she wasn’t ready to talk to him about anything that had been said. “Okay. I’ll get rid of him.”
Gina shook her head. “You’re throwing away a man willing to grovel to get you back.”
Nadine gave Gina a half smile. “Meryn doesn’t grovel.”
While he’d stood naked and argued with her, she couldn’t picture him on his knees for anyone.
“Oh yeah, what does he do?”
“I don’t know.” Why had he come back? Hadn’t it been clear she didn’t want to see him again when she stormed out? In another day, maybe two, she might be ready to think through their fight. And in a day or three she might have convinced herself that it wasn’t worth the hassle being with someone. The tiniest part of her wanted to know why he was here. He’d clawed his way back from goblin, become a modern man, and ensnared her heart in the process.
“Find out,” Gina said.
Nadine stared at her supposed friend who was refusing to get rid of the man she shouldn’t have snuck in. “Fine.”
She strode down the corridor determined not to give Meryn a chance to explain. He was wrong—wrong for her, wrong in this time. She pushed open the door. The anger and hurt she’d been holding on to like a shield fractured when she saw him. For a heartbeat she paused, unable to move. When she was near him she couldn’t think of anything but him and everything he’d been through to get to where he was. A man, not a goblin.
It was much easier to be upset when she wasn’t confronted with the reality. She didn’t hate him, but she didn’t want to love him either.
She took the final step into the room and closed the door, but she remained near the exit, so she could escape at any moment.
Meryn stood but didn’t approach, as if he knew they were doing a strange kind of dance, each being careful not to startle the other and provoke a response.
“Why did you come here?”
“To see you.”
“I don’t want to see you.” How could he have stood by while her mother died?
The muscle in his cheek twitched. If he smiled, a dimple would form, but he wasn’t smiling now. He was as wounded as she was.
“I did many things I’m not proud of as a goblin. I should have acted to help your mother. But I didn’t know what to do. Goblins don’t think the same as men. They crave gold and battle and a human queen if they can steal one. Even if I’d saved her, she would’ve still been trapped in the Shadowlands. No human deserves to live there.”
How long had Meryn spent as a human in the Shadowlands, a place so barren nothing grew? She knew her mother’s stories, that goblins could only ride the Fixed Realm during solstice. But humans? How did they escape the Shadowlands once taken…? She didn’t know. How had Meryn gotten free? Had he slipped through at solstice? She squashed the rising sympathy for everything he’d suffered.
“You acted goblin. You stole from me. You could’ve returned the cross. Hell, you could have dropped it on the ground and let me find it while out running.”
“I was scared. The world has changed so much since I last walked the Fixed Realm. Gold was familiar. Then I couldn’t give it back because it reminded me of you. As I got to know you more, I wanted to return it, but I couldn’t find the words. I could never just drop it and act like I never took it. That would be dishonest.”
“You lied to me about who you were.”
“No I didn’t. I let you draw your own assumptions and didn’t correct you. I will make it up to you if you give me a chance.” He took off a heavy gold cuff and placed it on the bed. “Without this I can’t read.”
“Why not?”
“I never learned. Very few people could read when I grew up.” He pulled some papers from his jacket. “I can’t write very well either, and it’s in Latin. English is hard to read and write even with magic.”
“I can’t read Latin.” But that didn’t stop her fro
m being curious about what he’d written.
“Use the bracelet.”
She eyed the bracelet; it was beautiful, delicately engraved with knots. She wanted to pick it up and try it on. But she knew her fairy tales. If something looked too good to be true, it was probably going to knock the princess unconscious to be dragged back to the Shadowlands.
“How does it work?”
He shrugged. “Magic.”
“You want me to believe in magic?”
“You believe in goblins.”
“What kind of magic? Fairy godmother or evil witch?”
Meryn frowned. “Neither. My cousin, Dai, learned magic while in the Shadowlands. He is more powerful than a druid.”
Ah. The cousin who’d arranged the house. “You weren’t alone in the Shadowlands.”
“The king in your mother’s stories is Dai’s brother, Roan. We were cursed with him. I succumbed. They didn’t. It was Dai who brought me back to the Fixed Realm.” He tapped the papers. “It’s all here, including the ending. You told me once the story was incomplete. It’s not. Not anymore.”
Nadine shook her head. Fairy tales didn’t come true. They weren’t real. They were stories designed to scare children into not speaking to strangers and to not be greedy lest the goblins take them away. But her mother had believed there was a grain of truth in every tale. She’d stayed up and seen the Wild Ride with her mother when she was five and had blocked it from her mind, yet the fear of the storms and howls had stayed with her. A shadowed memory she didn’t want to recall.
“Her story is real?” All of it. Not just the bit about goblins and the Shadowlands.
“Yes.” He was watching her as if he expected her to run.
She should be running. None of this made any sense. Magic and goblins and curses. And yet it did. This was the only way Meryn made sense. And she needed to know how the curse broke. To find out what happened to the king and his men.
She took a couple of steps. Her fingers touched the gold bracelet. Curiosity bubbled in her veins like soda. If her mother were here, she wouldn’t be hesitating. She’d be grilling Meryn and asking to meet the King of the Goblins.
Nadine picked up the golden bracelet and put it on. She would finish what her mother had started. The Latin lettering on the paper jumped into focus and became words.
Once upon a time there was a king called Roan. He ruled the Decangli. When he was young, his lands were invaded by the Romans. His brother, Dai, was taken as a slave to ensure Roan’s good behavior.
For a time, the Decangli wore the shackles while in secret they plotted rebellion. When the time came to fight, they learned they had been betrayed. Knowing they only had one chance, Roan urged caution and a delay. The druid argued for the fight; he hated Roan and used the disagreement to his benefit. The druid, convinced Roan had betrayed his tribe and taken Roman gold, cursed Roan and all the men who had taken his side.
They were banished to the Shadowlands. But so was the druid, because his hatred of Roan was so great.
The traitor Drem, cousin to Roan, told the Roman General of the curse. The general killed Drem and then used the curse to force Roan to destroy all that was left of the Decangli. Men, women, and children were killed so there would be no more rebellion. There were no more Decangli.
The king’s second, Meryn, gave in to the curse after watching his wife and children murdered. The others, after watching this, vowed to die before fading to goblin.
Brac, a fierce fighter, attacked the druid, believing the druid’s death would free them, and was killed.
The youngest warrior, Fane, killed himself, unable to cope with the harshness of the life they were forced to live.
Slowly the curse began to take hold. They hoarded gold like goblins. No magic Dai found could break the spell. Eventually Anfri, the eldest, faded. Roan shot him, keeping the promise that none of them would become goblin like Meryn.
One day Roan was summoned to the Fixed Realm by a woman. They fell in love; she was able to look past the goblin he was cursed to be and see the man he once was. The curse broke, freeing Roan and his brother Dai.
Dai was able to put his past behind him and find love. But then he realized that Meryn had also been freed from the curse and was trapped in the Shadowlands. He risked his life and future to go back and rescue him. But the creature he brought back was more goblin than man.
Remembering caused Meryn pain and for a while he just wanted to forget and be goblin again. But a woman reminded him of the thing he’d been missing as a goblin, something that couldn’t be bought with gold. Love.
Tears welled in her eyes, but she blinked them back as she took off the bracelet. She gave it back to Meryn with a trembling hand. She’d lost her family, but Roan and his men had lost everything. Family, tribe, way of life, humanity, and some of them, their lives. Yet Meryn had fought his way back from a wasteland that devoured hope and soul to stand before her, wanting nothing but another chance.
She never gave people second chances. She’d always had to protect herself. But then no one had ever bothered asking for one. She wasn’t worth the time. Not foster parents, friends, or boyfriends—she ended it before they got a chance to hurt her first.
It was already too late for that with Meryn.
They’d had their first fight and he’d come back for more. Her lips turned up at the corners. “How does your story end?”
“I’m hoping the knight wins back his lady.” He moved closer, close enough to touch, almost close enough to kiss.
She scrunched her toes in her shoes, wanting to say yes but terrified of what that would mean.
“What if it doesn’t work?”
“We can make it work.” His fingers grazed her cheek and she leaned a little closer. “Believe in your own fairy tale. You deserve a happy ending.”
“So do you.” Nadine placed her lips against his in what was supposed to be a gentle kiss that deepened as his hands swept over her hips and pulled her to him.
For a few moments nothing else existed in the world except them and the kiss that sealed her fate. She would always be safe in his arms. Her fingers slipped under his shirt, needing to feel he was real and not something she’d imagined. If this was a dream, she didn’t want to wake up. She’d found a man who would hold her heart safe. A warrior from another age. A knight in gray, dusty armor.
Chapter 21
Nadine walked through the house one last time, her heart fluttering with excitement and nerves. It had been her home for years. It was familiar and comfy, and while she had only rented it with Gina, it had been theirs. Although in truth, over the last two months, she hadn’t spent much time here. It was too easy to stay at Meryn’s place.
“Is that everything?” Meryn stood in the hallway, his thumbs hooked into his jeans pockets looking every bit the modern man, right down to the fashionable stubble.
Nadine bit her lip and nodded. There hadn’t been much to take. The furniture had been secondhand to start with and was staying in the house for the moment for Bryce and Gina to use. So far they hadn’t found a house they liked within their price range.
Price wasn’t a problem for Meryn. After spending her life keeping careful track of her savings, it was an odd concept for Nadine, and one Meryn grappled with too. All he’d done so far was buy a car, not even a fancy one—and he’d only done that after she’d convinced him that he drove well enough to get one. Having experienced his cousin’s translocation magic once for herself, she knew why Meryn had been so keen to learn to drive.
“I think so.” If there was anything left, she could always come back. She glanced at Meryn again. She loved him. She knew she did because she couldn’t bear to be away from him, but a small part of her still thought she was rushing. Jumping too soon into his bed and house. When he’d first suggested that she move in permanently, she’d laughed and said not without a ring.
He’d taken her seriously.
Two days later as they’d lain in his bed, he’d given her a ring�
��simple, elegant, and detailed with tiny knot work around a diamond. Her fingers traced the square cut stone as she walked toward her fiancé. The word was still strange on her tongue. The little things Meryn did that gave away that he had been born two thousand years ago made her smile. The way he picked up modern life amazed her.
What was his family going to say? That it was too fast? Would they think she was only after his money? They’d been friendly and welcoming, but now? Meryn wasn’t concerned.
Meryn didn’t seem to fear anything.
Even her nightmares. With him, they had lost their intensity; she could go nights without a dream, or maybe now that she knew the truth, her mind could rest. She took his hand, and his fingers curled around hers.
“If we don’t leave soon, Gina will be back and I can’t do good-byes.” She forced a smile but tears were stinging her eyes. She’d never imagined she’d be the one leaving first, and she’d tried not to think about Gina leaving.
“You’ll see her again.”
“I know, but it won’t be the same.” Nothing would ever be the way it was.
“If everything stayed the same, you wouldn’t be living; you’d be existing.”
“True, but…”
Meryn raised one eyebrow.
What could she say? Her feet weren’t exactly cold, but it was a big change and she was still getting used to the idea of having someone she could count on. Someone who knew her and understood her and didn’t run a mile. But there was no one else like Meryn and she wasn’t going to let him go, even if holding on scared her.
Nadine shrugged. “I’ve never lived with a boyfriend before.” Whereas he’d done all of this before—true, in another time and place, but it was more than she’d ever done.
He stopped walking and they stood in the doorway, the white van parked in the street beyond loaded and ready to go. “I’m not comparing. I can’t.” He touched her cheek, then leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “So this is as new for me as it is to you. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want you there. I love you.”