Pieta Pemberton for recognizing there was a story worth telling in that 367-page mess of a first draft. Your guidance and championing of my story got me on the right path. Every time I have a slice of pie or see the number 3.14, I will think of you fondly.
The incredible Marnie Cochran for taking all my calls and emails, making calls and emails on my behalf, and checking in on me periodically to make sure I hadn’t jumped off a ledge somewhere. Your honest, round-the-clock advice was invaluable to me. You were so generous with your time, your days must be 28 hours long. xoxo
Jeanne Emanuel for your relentless efforts in trying to get me published. Every time I was about to give up I’d get an email from you with another lead. You are truly one of a kind.
Professor Sue Shapiro, I wish I’d found you sooner. Taking your Instant Gratification Takes Too Long writing class was one of the best decisions I ever made.
Social media standout Dorie Clark, author of Stand Out (see what I did there?): Ten minutes after we met, you invited me to a dinner party at your house, and I stunned you by saying yes. Since then, you’ve become a mentor, a cheerleader, and a friend. I still suck at Twitter, but thanks to your RTs, I’m still picking up followers.
When I started this endeavor people said to me, “Oh you’re in advertising, you must know tons of people in publishing.” Ah, no. Two totally different fields. I had zero connections. So I’d like to thank my peers and other industry professionals who believed enough in my story to either help me personally or connect me with people who could (apologies to anyone I may have forgotten due to the time pressure of making this deadline): Val DiFebo, Edward Boches, Bobby Orr, Margie Sullivan, Noreen Moross, Susan Titcomb, Suzy Marden, Loc Truong, Ali Pace, Jane Roper, Karen Alpert, Mark St. Amant, Jennifer Palmer, Lou Palmer, Alex Shumway, Chris Gayton, Tamra Blais, Alison Fargis, Steve Almond, Tess Johnson, Naomi Rosenblatt, Patty Stone, Lisa Price, Helayne Spivak, Merinda Salsky, Wendy Semonian, Nick Teich, Steph Hofmann, Marie-Claire Barker, Fei Wu, Deb Wojnarowski, Barb Reilly, Kel Kelly, and Laura Morton, who single-handedly changed my trajectory.
My early draft readers (you know who you are), with a shout-out to the legendary Ron Lawner: Thanks so much for your feedback and the confirmation that my writing didn’t suck. Your validation gave me the confidence to press on. Also, special props to Holly Raynes, author of Nation of Enemies and winner of the 1996 Arnold Lampshade award. My heartfelt gratitude for red-lining multiple drafts and weighing in at all hours on countless excerpts (“Which is better A or B?”).
My talented creative and technical panel for their continual support, advice and mad skills: LD Belanger, Mike Martin, Alex Dobert, Maggie Keller, Sheila McKee, Lára Vukson, Nunzio, Anna Echiverri, Mary Beth Koeth, Bronac MacNeil, Lauren Bruck Simon, Kyle Megrath, Melissa MacNish, Ema Loftis, and Mo Norman.
Grub Street for their annual Muse and The Marketplace conference. I highly recommend attending this event to any writer starting out on or in the middle of their journey.
Amy Blankenship and the gang at Soundtrack and Finish Post for hosting my Arnold going away party, renting me office space at rock bottom prices, and keeping the kitchen stocked with Caffeine-free Diet Coke and Peanut M&Ms.
The Boston Ad Club for giving me my first speaking gig and not yanking me off the stage when my time was up. Swellen Wallett for those endless hours of frame-fucking in the edit bay and the female to male adaptor story that, twenty years later, still gets good laughs.
Kat Gordon for making me a closer at The 3% Conference and exposing me to the most amazing group of women in the ad industry. Your continual support and encouragement means the world to me.
Francis Storrs at The Boston Globe Magazine for being the first to publish me and David Griner at Adweek for my first major interview about BALLS. Bonnie Graham and Maggie Linton for giving me radio experience, and Judi and Jaime Guild for landing me on Chronicle, my first (and hopefully not last) TV appearance.
Authors David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Mary Karr, and Lisa Genova for inspiring me. Laverne Cox for your words of encouragement and support.
Bet MacArthur for saving my life and “DS” for saving my sanity. (I know, I know, Rent is expensive up there!)
The makers of Ativan, Ambien, Grey Goose, and Stolichnaya. And of course, Fong and her fucking spoon.
Doc, over the last fourteen years you’ve taught me more about being a man than I ever could have imagined. You’re no longer my doctor; you’re my friend who occasionally does surgery on me.
Special thanks to all the nurses and medical professionals who helped get me through 28 procedures with dignity, sensitivity, and TLC. Big hugs to Karen Barker, Melinda, Elaine, Patti, Theresa, Jaime, and Bella.
To my Loews Vanderbilt family: Doug, Nina, Evelyn, Steve, Wadell, Igor, Marta, Faith, and many others I can’t remember by name. Thank you for going above and beyond to make my stays in Nashville as painless as possible.
To my Arnold family during the “Camelot” years, your acceptance and support was everything. JP Smith, I still have that Bar Mitzvah card!
Mickey, I simply would not have made it through my transition without you. You were always there supporting me through the lows and celebrating with me during the highs. Not only did I have you behind me, I had your entire family . . . and still do. That bond means so much to me.
My fellow Fab Fivers: Melvin, Mare, Schu, and Meek. You are my core. There is nobody else I laugh longer or harder with. Not many people are still tight with their friends from grade school, let alone after transitioning. Thank you for not letting my gender change change our dynamic. I treasure you guys.
My dear friend Hazel. The moment I heard you cackle from across the room when Professor Coyle called bullshit on my impromptu interpretation of Baudelaire, I knew we would end up friends. There are very few things in this world I’m sure of. You are one of them.
The Colgate Women’s Rugby Team 1990–1994. You ho-bags know who you are. Special thanks to Price for listening, empathizing, and always coming through with a Shaw’s cake – gold with buttercream frosting. It’s really not that hard, Fedin.
My Greenleaf Team: Justin, Emilie, Lindsey, Liz, Neil, Carrie, Sheila, Brittany, Corrin, and Steve. Thank you all for handling BALLS with care. The “I survived Mr. Type A+” bumper stickers are on the way!
My Sunshine Sachs trifecta: Nina, Karissa, and Janell. Here’s hoping I won’t ever need to enlist your crisis management skills!
My Facebook friends and Twitter followers: You may number in the hundreds not the thousands, but I believe in quality not quantity! Your support keeps me going.
Mary, thank you for taking a chance on me. I wouldn’t trade our three and a half years together for anything.
And last but not least, my unbelievable family, including my extended family of “Armos” and the odars who married in. Thank you all for accepting me as I am and never once treating me any differently.
Gram, I think of you every day. I hope Amazon delivers to heaven (and that the shipping is covered by my Prime membership).
Mom and Dad, you always put my happiness first—even when it scared the crap out of you. I wouldn’t be the man I am today without your love and support. Thank you for instilling in me the importance of family and for being the best parents and role models I could ever ask for.
Weezer and G: They say a sister is a little piece of childhood that can never be lost. I don’t know who “they” are, but they got it right; I can’t imagine “growing up Shtiny” without you guys. Thank you for having my back at every turn. I cherish you both.
Lane and Mike, my brothers-in-law.
Finally, to Calla, Ava, Chase and Jake: Thank you for making me feel 100% loved. I look at you kids and I see the generation where prejudice ends and acceptance truly begins.
RESOURCES
When I began my journey more than twenty years ago, there were very few places my family and I could turn to for information or guidance. Today, there are so many transgender resource
s out there, if I tried to gather them all and list them here, I would miss my publication date. Instead, I’ll leave the googling to you, and single out the two organizations closest to my heart.
Camp Aranu’tiq
This amazing summer camp for transgender youth changes lives. Kids don’t come here to learn about being transgender. They come here to make friends, have fun and just be themselves. There’s no worrying about what anybody might think, or having to second-guess decisions like what to wear or what bathroom to use. These may seem like small things, but not when you hear directly from the campers about their experience and what a safe haven like this means to them. Having an extended support network outside the home does wonders for self-esteem, and knowing there are other kids like you out there can make all the difference in the world. The camp also hosts family long weekends that provide an opportunity for parents to meet other parents, share experiences and learn from one another. Find out more at camparanutiq.org.
PFLAG/Greater Boston PFLAG
The national Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG) organization and its chapters are a great resource for families, friends, and anyone looking for ways to become an ally to someone they know who is LGBTQ. When it comes to the “T,” Greater Boston PFLAG has the most expansive and well-organized set of resources, supports, and programs for parents and caregivers of trans people in the state. They’ve also been doing a ton of work to educate schools and corporations big and small on what being transgender means and how to foster safe and inclusive environments for students and employees. And when it comes to advocating for transgender rights, they are out there on the front lines. For more information, check out gbpflag.org. To find your local chapter, visit PFLAG’s national website at pflag.org.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Chris Edwards grew up in the Boston suburbs and was voted Most Likely to Get an Ulcer by his high school classmates. He went on to attend Colgate University, where he majored in psychology and minored in keg stands. After building an award-winning advertising career spanning nearly 20 years, Chris left his post as EVP, Group Creative Director at Arnold Worldwide to write his memoir, BALLS. Since then he’s become a sought-after speaker, inspiring audiences with his courageous story and compelling message that we actually have the power to control how others define us.
He has yet to develop an ulcer.
For more on Chris including speaking engagements, book signings and press, go to chrisedwardsballs.com. For more on his advertising career and creative work, check out chrisedwardscreative.com.
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