by Lilly Wilder
“First of all,” he said in his authoritative, calming tone, “you’re definitely not here just to help us. We both value you, and we are both attracted to you. As for how it’ll work, well, isn’t part of the fun in finding out? Finn and I have never done this kind of thing before, although it’s not uncommon in the dragon world. Since we are so long-lived it is likely that couples take a third to help provide a new perspective on the relationship and offer a new dynamic. You humans are always so afraid of everything being perfect that you’re afraid to let things be. We will simply see how things work, but yes, I’d imagine that we would do some things separately and develop our own connections together, as well as enjoying the triple delight of spending time together with each other, but there is no need to rush things and there is no need to worry about anything. As for what other people will think, well, quite frankly it’s none of their business. Finn and I are quite adept at keeping secrets. Whatever we do with each other is only the business of ourselves. No other opinion matters.”
“But you’re getting ahead of yourself anyway,” Finn said, “we still have to worry about Zerinthor first. Are you really sure you want to go through with this Cal?”
“I think we have to. I think of him in so much pain, and if we don’t find a way to get through to him, eventually he’ll strike out at the world and commit himself to vengeance. It may not be in our lifetimes, but eventually he’s going to grow tired of living alone in his lair and he’s going to want to fulfill his vision of the world. You remember what he said when he left.”
“He said that he was going to remake the world in tribute to Dovalia,” Finn said grimly.
“Exactly, and I don’t want that to happen. Maybe I’m crazy and we could all be roasted by him, but I think there’s a good part of him left inside, the part that Dovalia loved,” Cal said.
“And I’m guessing you’re going to need me to try and reach it,” I said. I’d been listening to their conversation and it seemed like that was the obvious play. Finn and Cal looked at me, resigned. “I mean, we all knew where this was heading, right? I was the only thing that got him to stop attacking, and if there is a part of him left that actually cares about something other than himself, it’s going to be me that reminds him of it. Look, I’m not exactly a fan of how you brought me here and didn’t tell me that I resembled Zerinthor’s dead ex, but we’re here now, and I don’t really want to think about the world being attacked by a huge black dragon either. But there’s more to it than that. The story you’ve told me about Zerinthor…it feels familiar. I know what it’s like to live in fear, to know that someone you love went out to have fun and got hurt by it. I know what it’s like to want to turn your back on the world and how unfair it feels, and I don’t think anyone should go through that. Not me, and not Zerinthor. But what will happen if you reform the dragon community? Are you all going to live together again?”
“I think that was the plan,” Cal said, glancing towards Finn. Suddenly I was faced with a drastic change in my future. The dragons lived in the woods, far removed from the civilized world. We looked at each other and we were all thinking the same thing. If I wanted to be with them, I would have to join them and give up my life in the city. The thought was tempting, but the reality of turning my back on everything I knew filled me with fear.
“Like I said, we should think about dealing with Zerinthor first. If we don’t get through to him none of this talk about the future will matter. We managed to surprise him once, we won’t get the chance again. If he has given into his anger completely, we won’t stand a chance against him,” Finn said.
We agreed to move at daybreak and continue our journey up the mountain to confront Zerinthor. There were still a number of hours left of the night, so we pulled blankets over ourselves and huddled together for extra warmth and comfort. Cal and Finn fell asleep more easily than I did, perhaps because they were less haunted by the future.
The prospect of living in a dragon community with them was certainly a wondrous thing, but it would cause great upheaval in my life and I wasn’t sure if I could really take that step. The thought of being in a relationship with both of them was difficult to comprehend already. While they could just say that we should take it a step at a time and not worry too much about the practicalities of the future, I couldn’t help to give them thought. Who cares if it was a failing of the human race? It was still a part of the way I viewed the world and I couldn’t just give up everything to begin a new life with them, could I?
I definitely felt happier and more complete with them than I did when I was alone, and everything that had happened over the past few days had been the most amazing, insane experience of my life. I’d never felt this alive before, and when I made love with Finn and Cal, it was as though I lost my virginity again, and it was a damned sight better the second time around. They showed me a new way of looking at the world, a new way to perceive things and think about things. There was a hidden layer behind everything I had ever known, and in many ways, I wasn’t sure I could afford to turn it down. How many other people had been given the opportunity to experience what I was experiencing? I almost owed it to the people who dreamed about these things.
However, I couldn’t hide away from the fear that plagued me, the fear of thinking about what would happen if it all went wrong. The city was my safety net. I’d never left it and the thought of it made my throat tighten.
I breathed deeply, trying to calm myself. I’d be no good to anyone if I didn’t get any rest. As Finn said, there wasn’t much use thinking about this until we had dealt with Zerinthor. Part of me worried that I was in over my head and that Cal was deluded if he thought that beast could be tamed, but I remembered the look in Zerinthor’s eyes when he saw me. There was intelligence there, and I had hope that I could reason with him, even if it meant I would have to conjure up memories of Dovalia.
I thought back to the pain I felt when I learned what happened to my Mom. I remembered the powerlessness, how vulnerable and feeble and out of control I was. I imagined that Zerinthor had gone through a similar thing. For all his power, for all his might, he hadn’t been able to protect Dovilia when she needed him most, nor was he able to bring her back from the dead. But maybe her memory could help him return to something of a normal life. I had never really had much power, but when I learned what happened to Mom I was tempted to go after the man responsible. I knew what it was like to be filled with bitterness and rage, and I wondered what my life would have been like if I had given into those impulses. I only refused because I knew Mom wouldn’t have wanted me too. She wanted me to continue with school and give myself a good foundation for life, so that’s what I did, but I could easily have shut myself away and brooded like Zerinthor was doing, and like him I’d have had no friends to come and find me.
I gazed up at the pale moon and the twinkling stars, afraid that I would see Zerinthor’s huge form hiding the night from us. We weren’t ready for him yet, but thankfully the black dragon didn’t come. I wondered what was going through his mind, but soon my eyelids grew heavy and I fell asleep, nestled in between Cal and Finn.
17
I was awoken by movement underneath me. The morning sun shone on us and our naked bodies. I squinted due to the bright light and rubbed my eyes. My body was still aching from the exertion of the previous day and night, although most of the aches brought back good memories and I couldn’t help but smile. Cal and Finn were doing the same thing. They still look gorgeous in all their naked glory and we kissed good morning, enjoying the touch of each others’ caresses. Was this what my life would look like if I decided to join them; waking up enveloped in the warmth of two men, sharing affection with them and knowing that I had these two people to depend on? It certainly wasn’t the worst fate in the world, and although the idea of being in a relationship with two men went against social norms it didn’t seem strange to me. I liked both of them, and they both liked me. If we were all happy then what was the harm? It certainly mad
e the idea of lving with them more palatable. In the bright morning light, the situation seemed less mysterious.
I watched as Finn and Cal picked up each others’ clothes and got dressed. They playfully nudged each other and checked the fire. The meat from the goat that had been left was now charred and burned beyond recognition. Finn and Cal announced that they were going to go hunting. I didn’t mind; I figured they’d want a chance to be alone after all the time they had spent apart. There was probably much they needed to speak about if they were to mend their broken hearts, and I wanted some time to myself anyway. I walked back into the cavern and dipped myself in the spring, washing away the exertion of the previous night. I gulped down the clear water and felt refreshed.
When I was finished, I got dressed again and thought to myself that I’d probably miss showers and baths if I came to live in the forest.
I tied my hair into a ponytail using some string I found and walked back outside. I looked out to the horizon again, still amazed that while I was having this adventure there were people in the city who were completely unaware that dragons even existed. They were living their normal lives while I was up in the mountains. Perhaps my need for adventure was the reason why I had never felt fulfilled in my normal life or normal relationships. Maybe I had always needed a couple of dragons to come along and show me the way forward.
The sky was blue and stretched out endlessly. The sun was a soft yellow orb beginning its journey across the horizon, and there were wisps of clouds curling around. I watched them make patterns and saw a dog and a car and realized that I was glad I had never done a Rorschach test because I would have only given boring, mundane answers, when I saw something far away. It was a black dot, and it was moving towards me. From this distance it looked like a plane.
I watched it, not thinking anything of it, when I heard a sound from behind me, a rustling of the bushes. I looked back, expecting to see Cal and Finn returning with breakfast, but it wasn’t them. I hoped they’d return soon because I was getting hungry, and there wasn’t much I could do to occupy my time on the lonely plateau. I wouldn’t have been surprised had they gotten distracted and shared some pleasure. I was a little shocked that I wasn’t jealous about the thought of them making love without me. In time, I’d probably make love with each of them separately. Cal and Finn were different enough that the experiences with them would be unique, and the bonds we formed would allow us the opportunity to explore different aspects of our love. There were three individual relationships, and one group one; so much love that it amazed me to think about it.
I sighed as I turned back to gaze upon the horizon again and noticed that the black dot was getting larger. It was coming straight towards me, and it definitely wasn’t a plane. Suddenly a chill ran down my spine and I backed away, towards the fire. A feeling of dread came over me. The black shape came into view and my fears were right. It was Zerinthor.
My mind told me that it was impossible because it was daytime and Finn had said he rarely came out at any time other than night, but there was no mistaking his grisly form. I wanted to be having a nightmare, but I was very much awake. My heart froze, but I forced myself into action. I thought about grabbing a fiery stick from the fire we had made to fight him off, but it would have been futile. If I was going to fight him, I was going to need an arsenal, and there simply wasn’t anything around me that I could use. My only hope was to run. I spun on my heels and sprinted back towards the chambers, hoping that if I hid in the spring it might delay it enough for Finn and Cal to return. It wasn’t a fool-proof plan since this was the meeting of the dragon council and the entrances to the caverns were made to accommodate the bulk of the dragons, so Zerinthor could pursue me, but the way I saw it, it was my only choice.
The chamber seemed much farther away than it had been before, and I wasn’t moving along the plateau as quickly as I’d have liked. My legs were aching and I found it difficult to summon the strength to run quickly, but I put everything I had into it. I grunted instead of breathing and when I screamed for help it came out in a rushed pant, but I could at least see the chamber before me. If I made it there I had a chance, no more than a chance, but still, it was something.
But then, a shadow loomed over me and it was as though night had fallen again. I twisted my neck back and saw the towering shape of Zerinthor swooping down like a predator. His talons were open and his wings were spread wide. His jaw was hanging open and I could see the rows of sharp teeth on his jaws. His tongue was dark and long, and beyond that lay the throat from which fire would spread. I cried out in anguish, trying not to succumb to the terror, but it was impossible. I had the most fearsome creature in the world above me, waiting to make me his prey. Suddenly our plan to try and reason with him and make him see sense seemed foolish.
I tore my gaze away from him and looked desperately at the woods, hoping to see Cal and Finn rushing back to offer me salvation, but there was nobody there. I wanted to see their dragon forms flying out of the woods crashing into Zerinthor, teaming up to take him down, but I was alone, and Zerinthor had me in his clutches.
18
As I gulped in air, it stabbed at my chest and my steps faltered, my legs not being quick enough to keep up with my desire to stay alive. I felt like a helpless baby gazelle who was struggling with all its might to escape the lion, but it was only a matter of time until the prey was captured. I reached out to the chamber and sprang from my heels, hoping to dive in and scramble my way to the spring. Zerinthor was huge and would have filled the whole chamber, which might have made it difficult for him to get purchase on something as small as me, but I never made it to the chamber.
When I left the ground, he snatched me up in his talons and held me tight. I railed against the mighty claws, beating my fists against the hard ivory, struggled and writhed in an attempt to wriggle free, but none of it made any difference. Zerinthor had me in his grip and he wasn’t about to let me go. He’d taken me just like he had taken Cal, although I had put up much less of a fight than Cal had.
Zerinthor turned around and flew away from the plateau. As the plateau disappeared from underneath us, I suddenly stopped wriggling, afraid that if he let me go, I would just fall helplessly through the air and die with a splat on the ground. I was dependent on him to keep me alive, which I hated, but there was little I could do about it. I looked up at the obsidian scales covering his body. He looked like a demon, a creature from hell, and I pitied anyone who was subjected to his wrath.
I turned my gaze to the landscape, but I didn’t feel as much wonder as I had when flying with Finn. The palpable terror was the overriding feeling I felt. I watched the mountains and valleys pass between us, I saw birds fly away as fast as they could to avoid the oncoming dragon, and I breathed heavily as we ascended up the mountain. The air grew thinner as we passed through the clouds and I wondered if we were ever going to reach his lair, or if he was just going to keep flying until I passed out, and then let me fall to my misery.
The land disappeared beneath the layer of clouds. This was Zerinthor’s land. He was the king of the castle and keeper of the key, and I was an intruder. The peak of the mountain was just about visible and he took me up there among the jagged rocks. I could do nothing but watch as he placed me onto the mountaintop. I was glad to be on my feet again, and I stayed away from the edge, not wanting to fall and pierce myself on the spiked rocks.
We were on a platform that led into a huge cave. Zerinthor beat his wings as he landed and then folded them onto his back. He stared at me, and then stalked into the cave. I assumed he wanted me to follow. I wasn’t sure what he wanted me for, but I knew it had something to do with Dovalia. It was a blessing that I looked like her, because I doubt he would have brought me here otherwise. To him, I would have just been another human who meant nothing to him.
As I watched him being swallowed up into the darkness, I wondered what he looked like in his human form. Finn had told me that he shunned the ability to shift, feeling
that it was beneath him, but if Dovalia had shifted then surely he had shifted in the past too. There were some advantages to being in human form, many of which Cal, Finn, and I had experienced the previous night. He must have missed that. Perhaps seeing me again had reminded him of everything he was missing. Maybe he remembered that there was more to life than hatred and vengeance.
I knew there was no point running because he’d only come and find me again, and I didn’t exactly trust myself to make it back down the mountain without tripping and falling to my death. I didn’t want to wait on the platform either because he clearly wanted me for something, and the plan was to try and get him to see reason. I felt vulnerable without Cal and Finn by my side, but they’d admitted that one of the reasons they were attracted to me was because I was fearless, so I composed myself and walked into the dark cave.
It took a few moments for my eyes to adjust, and at first, I thought Zerinthor had disappeared. He was so black that he melted into the darkness as though he was a part of it, and when I did make out his outline I jumped back, startled. He was huddled deep in the cavern, surrounded by more jagged stone. There were stalactites and stalagmites, and from somewhere in the cave water dripped. It was a grim, morose place to live and it was no wonder that Zerinthor was a creature of misery. I didn’t think anyone could be happy here.
I tentatively stepped in, careful to watch my step because I didn’t know what was lying in wait for me on the floor. While I was walking, I kicked something and it made a sound like a skittle being kicked, and it felt like a stick. When I looked down, I saw that it was a bone from an animal. I looked around me at the surrounding area and saw that it was covered with bones of various sizes, and I assumed they were from various species as well. It was as though I was standing in the middle of a mass grave, and I wondered how many lives it had taken to sustain this mighty black dragon through his life.