by Jim Stovall
“Unfortunately, human beings cannot live in a vacuum forever. A bird must struggle in order to emerge from the eggshell. A well-meaning person might crack open the egg, releasing the baby bird. This person might walk away feeling as though he has done the bird a wonderful service when, in fact, he has left the bird in a weakened condition and unable to deal with its environment. Instead of helping the bird, the person has, in fact, destroyed it. It is only a matter of time until something in the bird’s environment attacks it, and the bird has no ability to deal with what otherwise would be a manageable problem.
“If we are not allowed to deal with small problems, we will be destroyed by slightly larger ones. When we come to understand this fact, we live our lives not avoiding problems but welcoming them as challenges that will strengthen us so that we can be victorious in the future.”
I thought about the perspective of actually welcoming problems. I remembered many of the good things that had happened in my personal and professional life and had to admit they were each accompanied by a number of problems.
The appointed hour arrived. I donned my black judicial robes, made my way through the mahogany door, and mounted the three steps to my familiar perch above the courtroom. I settled in and asked everyone to be seated. I reviewed my case notes, removed my reading glasses, and gazed at the overflowing crowd.
The ensuing months of this case had not diminished the media frenzy nor the curiosity surrounding Red Stevens and his last will and testament.
I cleared my throat and began. “Today, we are beginning the fifth of twelve provisions outlined in the estate of Howard ‘Red’ Stevens. This hearing will focus on The Gift of Problems. I will call on counsel for Jason Stevens, Mr. Theodore J. Hamilton, to bring us up to date on how the provisions were handled in this matter.”
Hamilton rose with amazing grace and agility for a gentleman well past eighty. He sensed my more formal demeanor with respect to this hearing and acted accordingly.
“Thank you, Your Honor. Once again, the matter before this court is to determine and verify that each tenet of the last will and testament of Howard ‘Red’ Stevens was carried out appropriately and the bequest awarded to Jason Stevens was, and is, in order.”
Hamilton paused for effect, but Dudly jumped in. “Your Honor, counsel should understand after five monthly hearings that the purpose of this case is to scrutinize the absurd bequest in the form of a charitable trust given to Jason Stevens depriving the three children and other heirs who are direct descendants of Red Stevens of their rightful inheritance.”
Hamilton laughed aloud and responded, “That may be your purpose in being here, Mr. Dud …” The now-familiar coughing fit erupted. Hamilton regained control and continued. “… but my purpose here is quite different. I would ask opposing counsel to make his own case and allow me to make mine.”
I was forced to intervene as if dealing with two squabbling children. “Counselors, I fully understand why you each are here and the positions of the parties you represent; therefore, if we can suspend the superfluous soliloquies I will ask Mr. Hamilton to make his case.”
Hamilton motioned for Jason to take his place, and he began his questioning.
“Jason, do you recall the month you spent, under the direction of your grandfather’s will, exploring The Gift of Problems?”
Jason responded solemnly, “Yes, sir. I do. I think I can safely say it was both the best and the worst time in my life.”
“Can you explain that?” Hamilton inquired.
Jason glanced cautiously toward his fiancée, Alexia, seated next to Miss Hastings at the counsel table. Miss Hastings placed her hand atop Alexia’s hand as Jason spoke.
“My grandfather said that I should go out and find people who were experiencing real problems in their lives, and I should learn the lessons that came with their problems.”
Hamilton nodded in understanding and asked, “So what did you do?”
Jason was fighting emotion as he spoke. “I went for a walk to think about The Gift of Problems. I passed a park and noticed a young girl swinging, while her mother watched her with a somber look on her face. I went to meet them and found out that Emily, the daughter, had terminal cancer.”
I couldn’t help but notice a few tears on Alexia’s face as Jason continued.
“I got to know Emily and her mother, Alexia …” Jason pointed toward his fiancée. “… during the time Emily had left.”
“Can you help us understand what you learned from little Emily during the last months of her life?”
Jason’s voice broke and tears began to form as he remembered that time. “Emily got sicker and sicker, no matter what anyone did. I know it had to be painful and terrifying for a little kid like that. She never complained, and she taught me so many things through her problems and suffering.
“First, she taught me about joy—that no matter what the circumstance, people can be happy simply because they have decided to be happy people. Then she taught me about courage—that there’s really nothing to be afraid of that is any worse than living a life full of fear. And, finally, she taught me how to love. I learned to love her as an unforgettable and special part of my life. And she taught me how to love her mother, and she left us both with that special love. I hope to spend the rest of my life with Alexia, learning how to love and live out all of the lessons I learned from Emily and her problems.”
Hamilton was emotional and touched Jason’s hand, which lay atop the rail in front of him.
He said, “Thank you, son. That wasn’t easy, but it was important.”
Hamilton cleared his throat, looked at me, and said, “Your Honor, we will let that be enough for now.”
Dudly rose to speak. He actually restored some of my faith in lawyers as he said, “Your Honor, we accept these provisions regarding this matter as stated.”
I nodded with some new respect for Mr. Dudly and said, “Thank you, Mr. Dudly.”
I wiped my eyes and stated, “Mr. Stevens has demonstrated to this court beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has fully experienced and learned The Gift of Problems. During the next thirty days, he will be given the opportunity to demonstrate that he has the ability to utilize the Red Stevens Charitable Trust to impart an understanding of The Gift of Problems to other people. This court is adjourned.”
I rushed into my chambers and engaged in an emotional display that would not be becoming the dignity of a sitting judge, but it was the thing to do. I thought about a special little girl who, through her dying, taught me and everyone in the courtroom a lot about how we should be living.
A month later, we were all back in our places. Jason, under the direction of Theodore J. Hamilton, was recounting his recent activities with respect to The Gift of Problems.
“Alexia and I decided that we had to help other people who were going through what we went through.” Jason smiled at Alexia, and she returned the gesture. He pressed on. “We decided that one of the biggest problems that anyone could ever face would be a parent losing a child. Alexia and I felt compelled to help these people as I believe they can only be helped by someone who has faced that same tragedy.
“A book or a lecture or some well-meaning person who hasn’t been there isn’t going to cut it. You never really get past it or through it, but we believe that with the help of someone that has gone ahead of you, you can learn to live with it and actually grow as a result of it.”
Hamilton nodded in agreement and understanding.
Jason continued. “Alexia and I went around to hospitals, clergy, and nursing homes and let them know that if and when they encountered parents experiencing the tragedy of losing a child, we would welcome the opportunity to just talk with them and share our experiences. In the last month, we have met with seven families who have lost or are losing a child. Some of them we’ve met with more than once. It’s probably the hard
est thing I’ve ever done, but I think it may be the best thing I’ll ever do.”
Hamilton nodded with approval at Jason. He turned to me and said, “Your Honor, that will be all.”
I motioned toward Mr. Dudly inquiring, “Counselor, have you anything to add to the proceedings?”
Dudly spoke from his seat behind the counsel table. “We have no questions or arguments to put before the court.”
L. Myron Dudly, his legal team, and even the Stevens family situated in the first few rows behind them all seemed to be moved. No one in the courtroom that day, including me, could escape the emotional impact and the life-altering message left by a little girl named Emily.
I tapped my gavel and ruled. “This matter is resolved by consent of counsel and ruling of the court. Tomorrow morning at 10:00 a.m., we will take up the matter of The Gift of Family.”
Some families are formed by birth, others by legal documents, and still others are formed through love.
Eight
THE LIFE OF FAMILY
That next morning in my chambers, I prepared myself for what I knew would be a hotly contested issue surrounding The Gift of Family. Mr. Dudly and his team had wisely avoided any futile conflicts regarding The Gift of Problems, but I knew they would put on the pressure this day in the courtroom.
I kept my mind open and free from prejudice as any judge should do, but—at the same time—I allowed my thoughts to wander through the possibilities and the potential arguments I might hear.
The Stevens family was unique in many ways and dysfunctional in many other ways. Their money, power, influence, and occasional celebrity status had given them many advantages along with many disadvantages.
I couldn’t help but think about my own family and the relatively simple life we have led. We had been forced to do without a lot of things that are available to rich and famous people, but we had experienced a depth of commitment and love that we would not trade for all the riches and fame the world has ever known.
I was so deep in thought that the time just escaped me. I said, “Come in,” in response to a tap on my door, and Jim, my bailiff, stuck his head in and said, “Your Honor, everyone’s ready whenever you are.”
I glanced up at the clock as I was reaching for my robes. The official day in court was already two minutes old as I settled into my seat and gaveled the proceedings to order.
“Today, we are going to consider The Gift of Family. As this entire case is between family members, and related to family wealth, I anticipate that emotions may run high throughout these proceedings. As always, I want to caution counsel, clients, and everyone in the gallery that this is an official court proceeding that will be carried out with the order and respect it deserves. The court calls on Theodore J. Hamilton to address this matter.”
Hamilton made his way around the counsel table and approached Jason who was already settling into the chair in the witness box.
Hamilton began. “Jason, can you share with us what you learned as a result of the lesson your grandfather, Red Stevens, gave to you through The Gift of Family?”
Jason nodded and began. “I went to the Red Stevens Boys’ Home in Maine and spent an entire month working with a group of boys. Some of them had families that were not a part of their lives. Others had no family at all.
“It took me a while to learn that these kids at the Boys’ Home had formed their own family. They worked together, played together, and encouraged one another in amazing ways. They taught me that a family is not always the traditional storybook family that we all wished we had, but sometimes a family is wherever you can find it.”
Hamilton nodded as if satisfied, waved toward Dudly, and said, “Your witness.”
L. Myron Dudly turned into a ferocious shark sensing blood in the water. He, along with his legal team and the Stevens family, knew this was one of the so-called hurdles where they had a good chance to prevail. This emotion was fueled by the fact that, if they could overturn just one of Jason’s gifts that were a part of The Ultimate Gift in Red Stevens’ will, they would divide several billion dollars among them. On the other hand, the fear of knowing that if they were defeated they would lose everything clung to them like a living thing.
Dudly attacked. “Mr. Stevens, you are before the court today apparently expecting us to believe that you understand The Gift of Family and are in a position to help others with this gift.”
Jason nodded and simply replied, “Yes, sir.”
Dudly continued. “It would be hard to think of anyone less qualified to speak to The Gift of Family than you.”
“Your Honor,” Hamilton thundered, “if counsel has a question, please encourage him to ask it or sit down.”
I glared at Dudly, ruling, “Sustained. Mr. Dudly, do you have questions for this witness?”
Dudly bore in. “Mr. Stevens, you have testified before this court that you were so disconnected and so ashamed of Red Stevens that you would not even recognize the fact and admit that he was your grandfather.”
Jason nodded feebly and almost whispered, “That’s true.”
Dudly had the grin of a shark sensing victory. “Mr. Stevens, your own family …” Dudly motioned toward his side of the courtroom, “… has come together in this matter in opposition to you. They have had to mount a legal case for the sole purpose of protecting family assets that should rightfully be inherited by the direct descendants of Howard ‘Red’ Stevens. Don’t you feel like you’re tearing apart your family instead of displaying any understanding of The Gift of Family?”
Jason sighed and glanced toward Hamilton. He croaked, “I don’t know how to answer that.”
Dudly slapped his hands together and said, “I’m sure you don’t know how to answer that. I wouldn’t either.”
Dudly paced back and forth, framing his next question. “Now, can you tell us how—even though you have no real relationship with your family—you became proficient in understanding the importance of families by simply spending a few weeks at some sort of boys’ camp?”
Jason blurted out, “It’s a Boys’ Home.”
Dudly mocked him as he bowed slightly and intoned, “Please excuse me. We will call it a Boys’ Home.”
Jason appeared to gain some momentum, stating, “I learned a lot of things there that would be hard to learn from people who have a good family life. I think it’s difficult to know how important something is until it’s not there. Without some of the lessons I learned from my grandfather and through the Boys’ Home in The Gift of Family, I could not have made the beginning of a family with Alexia and Emily. I think when you get right down to it, the value of a family can only be judged by the people in the family.”
Dudly rubbed his hands together and concluded, “Well, young man, in this case someone is going to have to judge you with respect to family, and I am imploring this court to rule on behalf of the Stevens family as the rightful heirs and natural family of their beloved patriarch, Howard ‘Red’ Stevens.”
This matter was far from clear-cut, and I wanted to get some time and distance from the arguments before I made a decision. My head and the law I cherish so much were leaning one way. My heart and emotions were leaning the other way. I rapped my gavel and announced, “This court is in recess for lunch. We will resume these proceedings at 2:00 p.m.”
I made my way into my chambers, threw off my judicial robes, and grabbed the DVD marked The Gift of Family. As I slid it into the player, I hoped and prayed that Red Stevens’ message would somehow give me clarity and direction.
Red spoke to Jason. “Now, Jason, I realize that our family is about as messed up as a family can be, and I accept my full share of responsibility for that. However, the best or worst family situation can teach us a lesson. We either learn what we want or, sadly, we learn what we don’t want in life from our familie
s. Out of all the young men in the world, I have selected you. I have asked Mr. Hamilton to undertake this monumental task on my behalf for you. It’s hard to understand why that means something, but I want you to know that it does.
“Families give us our roots, our heritage, and our past. They also give us the springboard to our future. Nothing in this world is stronger than the bond that can be formed by a family. That is a bond of pure love that will withstand any pressure as long as the love is kept in the forefront.
“It’s important for you to realize that families come in all shapes and sizes. Some very blessed people are able to live their whole lives as part of the families they were born into. Other people, like you, Jason—through a set of circumstances—are left without family other than in name. Those people have to go out and create family.”
As I was leaning back in contemplation of Red Stevens’ powerful words, the intercom on my desk buzzed. I pressed the button and said, “Yes,” and heard the always able and efficient voice of my court reporter, Scott, say, “Your Honor, we’re all gathered in the conference room for lunch.”
“I’m on my way,” I responded, hoping that he didn’t realize I had forgotten.
For many years, I had hosted a monthly luncheon for my courtroom colleagues, and the luncheon date was today. I rushed into the conference room generally reserved for judges and lawyers but also the site of my monthly luncheons. I took my seat at the head of the table beneath the portrait of my treasured late mentor and friend Judge Eldridge. For years, sitting in this spot, I had felt his presence and somehow believed it to be fitting that Judge Eldridge was a part of our monthly luncheons.
Seated to my right was Paul, my bailiff. Most people consider Paul to be a virtual giant. I have never asked the exact measurement but would guess that his height is probably closer to seven feet than it is to six feet. The fact that he is an imposing figure has helped us many times in the courtroom when we are confronted with particularly agitated or even potentially violent people. Although we all know Paul wouldn’t hurt a fly, somehow his presence has kept us out of a number of uncomfortable situations.