Morning Song had helped her move all her belongings into Sun Woman’s tipi. It had been a painful ordeal for Joanna when she had gone to Windhawk’s lodge to pack her clothing. She tried not to think about the times Windhawk had held her in his arms and made her body come alive with his lovemaking. She refused to look at the bed of buffalo robes where they had spent so much time in each other’s arms. She was glad when the last article of clothing had been packed and she was able to leave the place where she had known such happiness. She was grateful because, if Windhawk had taken Red Bird as his wife, at least, she hadn’t yet moved into his lodge. She was not yet ready to come face to face with the Piegan woman.
For the first few days after returning to the Blackfoot village, Joanna had wanted to remain inside Sun Woman’s tipi. She knew it would be very difficult facing her friends’ sorrowful glances. Would they pity her when they found out Windhawk had cast her aside? She finally realized that one couldn’t hide from life forever. She would have to face her friends sooner or later. When, at last, she found the courage to go among the people, she discovered that they eagerly welcomed her back, and no one referred to the fact that she was no longer living with Windhawk. Joanna felt somewhat relieved when she learned that Red Bird had still not moved into Windhawk’s lodge. Of course, she realized it would probably be only a matter of time until Windhawk took Red Bird as his wife.
Joanna walked beside the river, watching it lap against the shore. Looking upward at the branches of a cottonwood tree, she noticed the leaves had begun to change colors. Her mind drifted back to another autumn. She and Windhawk had made love beneath the trees while the brightly colored leaves had drifted down all about them.
Several times she had seen Red Bird, but only at a distance. So far she had been successful in avoiding an encounter with her.
Joanna felt as if her life were going nowhere; she was but waiting for the passing of time. In the daytime she kept busy by helping Sun Woman and Morning Song, but at night, when she lay on her mat alone, her mind would drift back to happier times—the times when she lay in the arms of the tall, handsome chief and felt his love reach out to her. Those times were gone forever, and Joanna realized she would soon have to look to the future.
She knew the time was drawing near when the tribe would be moving to their winter camp beside the Milk River. The winter location was the place she really thought of as her home. It was there among the Sweet Grass Hills that she had first become Windhawk’s wife.
By now, Joanna’s stomach was beginning to gently swell with the baby she was carrying. She looked forward to the time when the baby would be born, so she could decide what to do about her future. So far, she couldn’t make any plans. In the back of her mind she knew she was merely waiting for Tag to return so she could discuss it with him.
Her father’s servant, Simon, was still waiting for her and Tag in Philadelphia. If Windhawk would allow her to leave, perhaps she, Tag, and the baby would go there. Joanna could sell the rest of her mother’s jewels, and she and Tag could get a small place in the country.
“It was on a day very much like this one that you first came to us, Flaming Hair.”
Joanna turned around to find the old medicine woman standing just behind her. “It is good to see you, She Who Heals. You were not here when I returned, my friend, and I have missed you.”
The old, wrinkled-faced woman sat down and motioned for Joanna to sit beside her. “I have been in the mountains gathering berries and herbs to make my cures. This is the season when the berries are at their best.”
Joanna sat beside the old woman, noticing how tired and frail she looked. “You should not go into the mountains alone, She Who Heals. Next time you need to go, tell me, and I will go with you.” Joanna loved She Who Heals and was concerned because she was getting too old for the long expeditions she took into the mountains.
“I am an old woman, and if it comes my time to walk among the spirits, it will happen wherever I am.”
Joanna smiled. “Has anyone told you that you are a stubborn woman?”
The old woman nodded in agreement. “When one reaches my age, one can do as one pleases and not worry about what others expect of one.”
Joanna patted the gnarled hand. “Something tells me you did not have to reach this age to do as you wanted. I would guess you have always had your own way!”
The old woman’s crackling laughter rang out. “I might say the same for you, Flaming Hair. You have our young chief dangling by a rawhide rope.”
“Not so, She Who Heals. I have cut all my ties with your chief.”
The old woman looked deep into Joanna’s eyes. “Does he know about the child you carry?”
Joanna returned She Who Heals’s scrutiny. “Yes, Windhawk knows about the baby.”
“Why, then, are you not in Windhawk’s lodge making ready for his return?”
Joanna’s eyes flamed. “Let Red Bird cook and clean for him! I will not!”
“Windhawk waited many summers before he took a wife. He chose you—I do not think he will take the Piegan woman to him. Have I not seen him happy with you as his woman? Did I not see his sorrow and rage when he thought you had run away from him? I know Windhawk very well, and I do not believe he would ever take the Piegan woman to his mat.”
“You are wrong, She Who Heals. Windhawk has already been with her.”
“Many men lie with a woman…it does not mean he will take that woman as his wife.”
“It is all the same to me. I will never forgive Windhawk for betraying me.”
“Ah, I see the direction the wind blows. I, too, have heard the stories the Piegan woman has told. Saying something does not make it so.”
Joanna didn’t realize her eyes had widened hopefully. “Do you think the woman spoke falsely?”
She Who Heals folded her hands in her lap. “I think it might be possible. You will have to seek the truth from Windhawk himself.”
Joanna stood up and looked down at the old woman. “I do not care what Windhawk does. As I told you, I am no longer his wife.”
The medicine woman took Joanna’s hand. “I know what you are thinking, Flaming Hair. You think, when the baby comes, you will find a way to leave. He will never allow you to leave with his child. Never!”
Joanna withdrew her hand. “He does not think the child is his.”
“Then he is a fool!”
Joanna laughed. “I challenge you to tell Windhawk that he is a fool.”
She Who Heals lowered her head. “He does not need me to tell him of his shortcomings—in time, he will come to know this for himself.”
Joanna decided to change the subject. “I have been helping Sun Woman pack her belongings. When do we move to the winter village?”
“In no more than six moons.”
Joanna didn’t see Red Bird passing until the woman stopped to speak to her. “I cannot wait until we get to the winter village. Windhawk will come home then, and before the winter season, I shall be his wife!”
Joanna’s first instinct was to fly at the woman and scratch her eyes out, but common sense prevailed when She Who Heals put a restraining hand on her arm. She merely glared at Red Bird.
“You reach high, Piegan woman,” She Who Heals declared loyally.
Red Bird looked at the old medicine woman with contempt etched on her face. “I am the daughter of a great chief—who else would my father give me to but another great chief? I reach no higher than what I deserve.”
Joanna saw the amusement in She Who Heals’s eyes. “High for some is no more than the lower branches of a tree to others, Red Bird. I will believe you are the wife of our chief when I see you installed in his lodge. It has not escaped my notice that Windhawk has not yet come to you,” She Who Heals stated in amusement.
Red Bird’s face became distorted with anger. “I notice that he has moved this white-faced one out of his lodge,” she countered. “Why would he do such a thing unless he was preparing for his marriage to me?”
Joanna turned away, unable to listen any longer. She knew that Red Bird spoke the truth, and it was like an open wound in her heart. All she could think about was returning to the tipi.
“Foolish woman,” She Who Heals said contemptuously. “What happens with Windhawk and the Flaming Hair has nothing to do with you. You are as unimportant to our chief as the dust he walks upon!”
“You will see, old woman,” Red Bird retorted heatedly, staring at Joanna’s retreating back. “I will show you all!”
Joanna was angry with herself because she had allowed Red Bird’s words to make her cry again. She walked into the tipi and almost bumped into Morning Song.
“Why are you upset, Joanna?”
“It does not matter, Morning Song. I do not want to talk about it.”
Morning Song looked at Joanna with sad eyes. “I have often seen you sad, my sister. I wish it were within my power to make you smile again.”
Joanna wiped the tears from her face and, seeing tears in Morning Song’s eyes, hugged her tightly. “Do not cry for me, little sister…just be my friend.”
Morning Song smiled. “I have always been your friend; nothing could ever change that.”
Joanna closed her eyes. Sometimes she wished she had Windhawk’s sister’s outlook on life. Morning Song always seemed to accept that which she couldn’t change. Joanna realized she would never be Windhawk’s woman again—why couldn’t she just accept that fact in her heart?
“No matter what happens, Morning Song, you will always be my little sister.”
“Joanna, if only you could see Windhawk’s eyes when he looks at you. He loves you; I have seen this many times. How can you doubt it?”
“I think you see only what you want to see.”
“I think you do not see what is before your eyes.”
“Whatever we say here does not change anything, Morning Song. I am no longer Windhawk’s wife. We no longer share the same lodge. How do you explain that?”
“I think you and my brother should talk to each other. It is not good to have all these bad feelings between you when you love each other so much.”
Joanna knew it would do no good to tell Morning Song that she and Windhawk no longer had anything to say to each other. The time for talking to each other had passed!
Chapter Fourteen
The time passed, and soon it was only three days before the Blackfoot were to move to their winter campsite.
Joanna knew that She Who Heals had gone into the mountains on one of her excursions, and she began to worry because she hadn’t returned. Everyone was busy packing so they could leave. Joanna knew that She Who Heals would be aware it was time to move, so why hadn’t she come back?
Joanna was helping Windhawk’s mother pack her belongings, and even though Sun Woman had told Joanna not to worry about She Who Heals, she couldn’t help but be concerned. Several times she had gone to She Who Heals’s tipi to see if she had returned.
It was just after sundown when she entered the medicine woman’s tipi, thinking that if she still wasn’t there a search party should be sent out to find her. The inside of her tipi was in darkness, and in the dim half-light coming from the opening, Joanna could see She Who Heals lying on her mat.
Dropping down to her knees, she took the old woman’s hand in hers. “She Who Heals, where have you been? I was so worried about you.”
“I went into the mountains, and before I could return this weakness came upon me. It took me a long time to make my way home,” the old woman said in a feeble voice.
Joanna placed her hand on She Who Heals’s brow and found it hot to the touch. “You are burning up with fever! Why didn’t you let me know you were ill?”
The medicine woman’s eyes fastened on Joanna. “I do not want to be a bother. I have been ill before, and this, too, will pass.”
“I’m going to stay with you and take care of you,” Joanna said, moving to the cook-fire. When she lit the fire, she could see how ashen She Who Heals looked. “I am very angry that you didn’t come straight to me when you got back to the village. Did you not know I would want to care for you?”
She Who Heals turned her face away. “There is nothing you can do that will help me.”
“I do not believe that. I will never forget when you saved my life, and I would now be blind had you not taken care of me.”
Joanna poured some water into a wooden bowl and held it to She Who Heals’s lips so she could take a drink. Seeing the look of pain in the old woman’s eyes, Joanna moved to the opening of the tipi, realizing she would need Sun Woman’s help.
Sun Woman and Joanna took turns bathing She Who Heals’s face to bring her fever down. When the sun came up, it was apparent to them both that the medicine woman had not improved. Joanna feared She Who Heals would be unable to leave with the rest of the tribe when it was time to move, if she didn’t get well soon.
Joanna stayed with She Who Heals for the next three days. By now, she realized the old medicine woman was gravely ill, because, instead of improving, she seemed to grow weaker, and Joanna had to force her to take nourishment.
Joanna sat beside her now, bathing her face with cool water. The old eyes that held so much wisdom were fever-bright as they rested on Joanna’s face.
“You are so good to me, Flaming Hair,” She Who Heals said in a weak voice.
“Shh, do not talk…save your strength so you can get well,” Joanna urged her.
She Who Heals tried to sit up, but Joanna put a restraining hand on her shoulder. “You must rest—you know you are very ill.”
“The others are moving to the winter camp. I can hear them disassembling the tipis and lodges,” She Who Heals said in a faint voice.
“It is nothing for you to be concerned with. I will stay with you until you are recovered.”
This seemed to calm the old woman, and she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Joanna held the gnarled old hand in hers, remembering a time when these hands had nursed her with such tenderness. Joanna knew she would never leave She Who Heals. She would stay with her until she was well enough to travel.
It was a hot day, and there was very little air in She Who Heals’s tipi. Joanna placed a cool rag on the old woman’s face and pushed back the flaps to allow the breeze to penetrate inside.
There was much activity going on outside. The people were now loading their belongings onto the backs of their horses. Joanna knew that within a few hours there would be little sign that the Blackfoot had lived there.
She decided to take advantage of the time She Who Heals slept to get a breath of fresh air. Walking outside, she coughed because the dust kicked up from the departing horses choked her.
Joanna noticed that Sun Woman was tying her folded tipi onto a travois, so she walked over to help her. “I see that you are ready to leave, my mother,” Joanna said, as she tied one of the rawhide strips that attached the travois to the horse.
Sun Woman nodded. “I have packed your belongings for you, my daughter. The crazy trapper will bring your horse in from the pasture.”
“I cannot leave with you, my mother. As you know, She Who Heals is much too ill to travel at this time, and I will not go without her.”
“Windhawk will not like it if you stay behind,” Sun Woman warned, raising her eyebrow and looking very like her son at that moment.
“I no longer have to answer to your son. I am staying here because She Who Heals needs me. Would you have me abandon her?”
Sun Woman placed her hand on Joanna’s arm. “No, you cannot do that. I would stay with you, but I must see that our belongings are safely transported to the winter camp. I will have Morning Song stay with you. Perhaps, She Who Heals can travel soon, and you can bring her on a travois. I will ask the crazy old man to stay with you, also.”
Joanna hugged Sun Woman tightly. “Thank you for understanding. You remember the time She Who Heals once helped me when I was ill; I can do no less than stay with her now that she needs me.”
Sun Woman looked at Joanna. “You have a caring heart, my daughter. It is wrong that you cannot have pity for what my son is suffering.”
This was the first time that Sun Woman had made any reference to the trouble between Joanna and Windhawk, and it took Joanna off guard for the moment. “I would expect you to be on your son’s side in this, my mother, but I cannot see that he is suffering. If he is…let him turn to Red Bird. I am sure she will bring him comfort!”
“That one,” Sun Woman said in a contemptuous voice. “She is not the one to bring my son happiness. She is selfish and deceitful. I am told by both Gray Fox’s wives that they will be glad when that woman is gone. They say she does nothing but complain.”
“I can remember a time when you felt much the same way about me,” Joanna reminded Sun Woman. “Perhaps you will come to love Red Bird.”
Sun Woman’s eyes misted. “I was wrong about you, Joanna. I love you, my daughter, and I feel your pain as well as Windhawk’s. The time will come when the two of you will put your differences aside.”
“I must return to She Who Heals,” Joanna said, quickly changing the subject. She wasn’t ready to discuss Windhawk with his mother. Hugging Sun Woman tightly, Joanna turned to leave. “Have a safe journey, my mother. We will see you as soon as She Who Heals is well enough to travel.”
Later that day, Joanna and Morning Song watched until the last horse had crossed the river. When the distant dust cloud settled, Joanna felt a deep, bone-chilling loneliness. If she had gone with the others, she would be able to see Windhawk in a week’s time.
Not liking the way her mind was working, Joanna entered the tipi. She Who Heals was awake, so Joanna fed her some thin deer broth, then gave her a cool drink of water.
“Have the others all gone?” the old woman asked in a weak voice.
“All but Morning Song, Farley, and myself,” Joanna answered her.
Savage Winter Page 15