He took another step. “I think you do want to know. Perhaps the reveal could benefit us both.”
I tightened my fists.
To my great relief, he stopped approaching. But as a soul striking shock, he opened his shirt, pulled down the canvas band he wore, and showed me two female breasts.
“Ahhh!” I shrieked and jumped like I had seen a spider crawling in my bed.
Laughing at my reaction, she let her shirt fall back in place. “I’m a woman and my real name is Vera.”
Trying to regain my composure, I said, “God blind me. You can’t be. How do you? Did? Uh, wheeew.” I wiped my forehead and laughed. “Shit, Veran, I mean Vera…Whoever you are, that’s one hell of a secret.”
“I know.” She shrugged her shoulders.
Utterly shocked by the news, and the sight of her, I rubbed my eyes as she pulled her hair over her shoulder and slowly twisted her locks into a loose braid. “Shielding this secret has kept my mother and me alive, and being how we are in turn, keeping you and your sister alive, I figured it was safe to tell you. Plus, well, I kind of like you.”
Peeking at her from behind my hand, I tried to take in her image in its new light. No longer seeing a small, but capable man, I saw an impossibly capable woman, with fair skin, icy blue eyes, raven hair and well, nice little tits.
Prior to this, I had teased him for not being able to grow a beard at the age of twenty, but now, as I surveyed Vera’s features, I began to feel foolish for not seeing it before. Without the help of makeup, a fancy hairdo, or a pretty dress, Vera’s natural beauty was simply stunning.
The fact that she had left her shirt open, where I could see a bit of her tits and her flat white belly, helped me to come to terms with the strange dose of truth. Hell, if I could ever wrap my mind around it, I might end up liking her, too. But it was too soon to say anything like that out loud. “So, how did you end up here, doing this?”
She sat on the stool, leaned her arms back on the counter, and crossed her legs like a lady. “My father was a blacksmith, and me being his only surviving child, he made me help in the shop. Over the years he taught me everything he knew, but since I was a girl, neither of us ever thought anything would come of the knowledge I had acquired.
He died when I was fifteen. I was unmarried and my mother refused to remarry, so without a man to claim possession of our lot, I knew we’d lose everything he worked for if we stayed there. Refusing to accept that fate, I decided to pack up his equipment and we moved out here to make a new start. As a woman, I never would have made it, so I disguised myself as a man and took to this trade to keep us fed.”
I nodded in approval. “I’m impressed. I’ve never known women to do anything but keep house and raise children.”
“I’ve never been interested in doing either of those things.” She laced her shirt back up. “I like making weapons, so let’s get to work.”
We spent the next few evenings after work designing the perfect sword for me. With her secret unveiled, she had become more comfortable in my presence, giggling like a woman and talking to me about things that mattered to her. I grew to respect her more each day, admiring the way she worked so hard and never complained. But knowing she was a female, I couldn’t resist my instincts to care for her. As I once again reached for her hand to help her out of the carriage, she snatched her hand away from me and said, “You don’t need to do that, Mason.”
I swooped her up in my arms and carried her to the workshop. “Just like I’ve learned to accept you as a working woman, you need to learn to accept that I am a man who caters to the women he cares about.”
When I set her down, she blushed, and started braiding her hair the way she did when she and I were alone in the evenings.
“I suppose I can try to adjust to that.” She let out a breath like she was heavy in thought. As I went for the tool bench where my beloved sword awaited the next layer of steel, she said to me, “It’s just that, I’ve been doing this for five years now, and as you know, I love it. I relish the respect I receive in town, and take great pride in my ability to take care of my mother and allow her a safe place to remain my father’s widow. But, I was so young when I took on this disguise; I never experienced what it was like to be treated like a lady. It’s just…different.”
“Well, get used to it,” I chuckled as I unwound the vice.
“I think I like it. And being with you this way assures me of the one thing I’ve been missing in my otherwise fulfilling life.”
“And what is that?” I turned to face her. Having grown quite fond of her, I was hoping that she was thinking what I had been thinking since she revealed her secret to me.
Wandering in my direction—hips swaying with an enchanting rhythm—she hummed, “The affection of a man.”
Thrilled by the outcome of her revelation, I let her wrap her arms around my neck, and listened closely as she whispered, “To tell you the truth, Mason, I’ve never been with a man. I’ve yet to find one worth risking my security for, but you…you’re different. Aside from being unbearably handsome, you’re kind, and generous, and compassionate, and you bring out a side of me that I’ve been burning to show you.”
Feeling the heat of desire burning below my belt, I moved in to kiss her. Her lips pressed against mine. I filled her mouth with my tongue and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist. Hearing her let out a sigh, I backed her toward the room where the haystack I called a bed was, and laid her down.
While undressing her, I kissed and rubbed all over her saucy body. Kneading her breasts in my hands and feeling the warm and wet heat between her legs, I realized how long it had been since I’d done this. And how much I liked it. Yet, the fact that Vera had never done this before, and the way she left the control in my hands made it better than ever before.
The size of her little body made me feel big, and powerful above her. Though her lean muscles were damn near as hard as mine—leaving not much to grab onto—seeing and hearing that tough, self-asserted woman unravel beneath me, assured me that she was indeed all woman under the grit of her callouses.
Dirtied with soot, and wet with the sweat of our hard day’s work, we blended together like the metals we forged until our desires burned out like the setting sun.
X
Though I’d been enjoying myself throughout the fall, making weapons by day and making love by night, the fears I held over my sister’s health haunted the back of my mind.
Her condition worsened as winter hit the valley, but even though she had become unbearably thin, I told myself that we just had to make it through the snowy season. Then, the warmth of spring would help her recover. I fed my reassurance by conjuring up visions of her skin tanning in the sunlight, of her body gaining weight as she regained her strength, and of her putting spring blooms in her sun streaked hair like she loved to do when we were young.
My faith was strong, it had to be, but fears of her proving me wrong increased with the snow that was filling the valley.
One icy cold evening, as the sun fell behind the tree line, I walked up to her room and sat on the stool beside her bed.
“How are you doing, tonight?” I asked as I grabbed the Bible I kept by her bedside.
Though she didn’t answer, she did look in my eyes. She hadn’t done that since we’d arrived, and the glimmer of hope glistening from within her light green irises set my soul at ease. I reached for her hand. “I’ll be leaving at dawn for the Tuesday market, and I’ll be gone all day, so I wanted to spend the evening with you. How about a story?”
She squeezed my hand.
Holding tight to her hand with my left, I balanced the Bible on my knee and flipped through the pages with my right.
The last time I was up here, I read from the book of Hebrews, so I started from where I left off. I read and read as the hour passed, and though my left hand grew sweaty against her palm and my arm fell asleep, I let her hold tight to my hand until her eyes closed for the night.
Walking down the stai
rs, I thought of the light I had seen in my sister’s gaze, and recited to myself the verse I just read about how hope was an anchor of the soul. Yes. There was hope. When I lay down next to Vera in her bed, I wrapped my arm around her and prayed that this was a sign of a new beginning.
X
My sleep had been restless, and the day at the market was cold, long, and unrewarding. Tired and ready to warm up by the fire, Vera and I loaded up the wagon and kept to ourselves on the way home. Listening to the hooves of her beloved horse trotting along the frosty ground, I kept an eye on the darkening sky. The snow on the ground was light, but the evening air was so damn cold I figured the clouds rolling in would surely bring more. Setting sight on the smoke rising from the chimney of the place I now called home, I shook the reigns to hurry the horse along.
Taking note of the way Vera’s teeth were chattering, I insisted that she go inside while I unloaded the supplies. After dropping her off in front of the house, I headed for the stable and put everything away. Once the job was done, I headed to the house. On my way, I saw Vera throw open the door. Unnerved by her saddened expression, I bolted toward her.
My heartrate sped up, heating my blood as I tromped over the fresh fallen snow. As I stepped in through the front door, the warmth from the fireplace hit my face like a wall, and I instantly broke into a sweat. I took off my coat. Fanning my face, I looked at Lucy who was standing at the bottom of the stairs. The worry on her face deepened my concerns. “What is it, Lucy? Is Lace all right?” My voice stuttered and I started to shake.
It seemed like the world stood still as she inhaled a deep breath. Tears escaped the wrinkled corners of her eyes as she forced out the words, “Lace went home to the Lord, Mason.”
“What?” My heart broke into a thousand pieces, ripping my chest apart with the jagged shards. The unbearable amount of pain caused me to shout out, “You told me there was nothing wrong with her!”
Looking afraid, Lucy’s eyes widened and she stepped back. Her body shuddered and her voice trembled as she explained, “She woke up with a fever, and her body was too weak to fight it.”
“No! I was just with her last night.” My voice cracked. “Everything was fine, and if it wasn’t you should have come after me.” I didn’t believe her. She had to be lying. As I sped toward the stairs to go up and see for myself, Vera grabbed my arm and stepped between Lucy and I. “Please don’t yell at my mother. She did all she could for Lace.”
Shoving Vera out of my way, I barged past Lucy, charged up the stairs, and pushed open the door.
There, beneath the dim evening light shining through the cracks in the shutters, I saw the painful truth. My twin sister, the only thing that truly mattered to me in this world, was lying in that little bed, stiff and lifeless. Her green eyes were opened wide, never to blink again. Her color never to return. Her smile never to resume. The girl I’d done everything for was gone. The one life that meant more than my own, had left this world for good.
Like the weight of a fallen tree, the pain crashed against my heart and smashed me into the pit of a helpless void. Agony tore through my body, shredding my strength and hindering my will to stand. Looking away from the dreadful sight, I grabbed onto the doorjamb to catch my balance. My breathing heightened to the point where it made me dizzy.
Through the ringing in my ears I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Building the strength to glance over my shoulder, I saw Vera approaching. The sight of her turned loose a whirlwind of anger in my being, leading me to think she was somehow at fault. All the time I’d spent in her bed should have been time spent up here with Lace. I should have spent every free moment with her, reading her stories and giving her hope.
Seeing Vera reach the top of the stairs, I wanted to yell at her, and then rip the house to shreds. Thinking better of it, I stormed past her and ran out into the snow. The earth was covered in white, the darkening evening sky was coated by clouds, and the frigid air was hazy with the snowflakes that had begun to fall. But my heart was a black pit of death so cold, so empty, that the world around looked warm and bright in comparison.
Feeling suffocated by the smoke coming from the fire burning inside the house where she lie, I headed for the gate. Finding it jammed, I ripped it from the hinges and threw it down the road. I wanted to run. I started to run, but as I picked up speed I realized I couldn’t leave her body behind. So, I stopped. But I didn’t want to see her cold, grey face again. I couldn’t handle it. I wanted to hide from it all. I hunched over and closed my eyes. Behind my eyelids, I saw her face.
Mortified by the sight, I reopened my eyes, but rather than seeing the snow falling sideways in the winter wind, my line of sight was assaulted by images of her and me playing in the field as children. Sights of her laughing and happily handing newly picked flowers to grandfather surrounded me like a swarm of bees. These memories were good, but they hurt so badly it stung. Everyone that mattered to me was gone. Forever. There was no more hope to kindle my existence and no more reason to trod on. The God I had been praying to day and night had taken everything that mattered to me and left me alone in the cold.
Without realizing I had moved, I found myself speedily walking toward the forest. While cursing the Lord for allowing the death of an innocent young girl who had never hurt a bug, I heard Vera calling my name. She was running toward me. I had become so cold it hurt to move and my slowing pace made it easy for her to catch up. She was alongside me in a flash but I still wanted nothing to do with her. Throwing my hand out to stop her, I shouted, “Stay away.”
Standing solid in the cold wet snow, she looked into my eyes and firmly said, “Please, Mason, don’t leave. It’s freezing out here. You won’t make it in the woods.”
“Good! What do I need to make it for?”
Tears flooding her blue eyes, she looked down.
“See? You have no answer because there isn’t one! I invested my whole life into that girl. I put all my energy into protecting her and all my sweat and blood to keep her fed and safe. I gave her everything! I even killed a man to protect her!” I held my frostbitten hands up in front of my face. “I choked the life out of him with these hands. I exchanged my peace of mind for her safety, and though I’ve never regretted it, I’ve been running from his ghost, battling nightmares, and pleading with God for forgiveness and mercy ever since.”
Dropping my hands to my sides, I yelled toward the heavens, “I’ve never once given up on my sister or the Lord, not once, but they both gave up on me and I…” With my mind replaying Robert’s words about senseless sacrifice, I grabbed my hair and pulled on it as I shouted, “I feel so betrayed!”
Against my own will, I started to cry. I hadn’t shed a tear since after my grandfather died. As the hot liquid ran down my ice cold face, I felt just as weak and helpless as I did the morning I found him dead. Worse. Because then, I had Lace to stay strong for. Now, I had no one, and nothing, and nothing would ever matter again.
Closing the gap between us, Vera threw her arms around me, and held me tight. She didn’t say a word and that was best. There was nothing to be said, but there, with the wind whipping through the valley, blowing icy bits of snow against my face, I huddled into my lovers embrace and cried like a lost little boy.
Part II
Song of the Sea
English Countryside
Spring of 1641
Chapter 6
Dangerous Trade
Five months had gone by since Vera and I buried Lace in the frosty ground right outside of Lucy’s flower and herb garden. Now, as I sit on the patch of green grass in front of the wooden cross I made for my sister, surrounded by colorful spring blooms and chirping birds, I was glad we chose this spot. Lace loved springtime, and spent most of the warm, sunny days collecting flowers to make wreaths and to weave into her hair, so I was certain this location was ideal for her final resting place.
I’d come here every morning since she’d passed, sometimes talking to her ghost, sometimes reading Bible verses, o
ther times just sitting in silence. But no matter how pretty this place was, or how inspiring the verses I read, these visits I paid to her grave were always hard on my heart.
Taking a deep breath to compose myself, I thought back on all the things Lucy and Vera had done to help me survive the gut-wrenching loss. Lucy often gave me reassurance that Lace was now safe and comfortable with the Lord and my grandfather. And Vera countered my guilt over the matter by insisting that Grandfather would be proud of how well I cared for my sister under such terrible circumstances. Also, that tricky little vixen talked me into teaching her to read, and later confessed that it was a ploy to get me back into reading from the Bible and on the right path with the Lord.
Her plan worked, for between her help and the word of God, I’ve been able to come to terms with this unfortunate outcome. Somewhat.
Reaching into my pocket, I took out the name plate I made for Lace in the workshop. While tying it to the cross, I said, “I’ve come here today to give you this, and also to let you know about the plans I’ve made for myself.” Staring at the letters that spelled the name my mother gave her, I said, “Remember when you said only rich people can write? Well, I’ve been thinking about that, and now that I can read and write plenty well, I think it’s time for me to head out and find a better way to make a living.
See, I’ve worked as a farmer, and now as a blacksmith, and though I’ve enjoyed both jobs, neither trade will ever get me any further than anywhere I’ve already been. But I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t trust the law or the wealthy, so I’m going to find a way to stand on my own. As much as I hate to admit it, that gold piece Robert Hale showed me has been heavy on my mind, and I’ve decided to continue on to Bristol and then out to sea, to see if I can get a piece like that for myself. I am not sure if it is the best idea, but it’s a start. One day, somehow, I’ll amount to something, and when I do, I’ll come back here and give you a right proper gravestone that will last through the seasons.”
King of My Nightmare (King of My Nightmare, Book 1): Endless Horizon Pirate Stories Page 8