by Zoey Draven
God.
She hadn’t really meant to say that but she was beginning to feel flustered. She didn’t know what Tavak had told them about her, if he’d even told them anything. But Stella knew he was private. She didn’t want to spill anything that he’d rather keep between them.
It was why she’d been avoiding the unspoken question in the jivera, since the moment she’d stepped inside.
Are you and Tavak together?
Because that was what Valerie and Eve really wanted to know. She knew that.
Except they weren’t together. They’d had sex. Really, really, really amazing sex. And that was all Tavak wanted.
Sex.
“Oh,” Eve said, her lips parting, her eyes round. “Um…my goodness.”
After a brief, uncomfortable silence, Eve started to giggle. Stella blinked at her, seeing Valerie’s lips beginning to twitch. Eve’s laugh got louder and Stella couldn’t help but sigh. She couldn’t help shaking her head at the situation she found herself in and she felt embarrassed amusement take root in her chest. It made her begin to chuckle too.
Eve wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. And I’m not laughing at you. It’s just…I can’t help but imagine what a surprise that must’ve been for you.”
Valerie couldn’t hold her laugh back any longer. She even snorted a little, which made Stella laugh again. And then they were all laughing and it just felt like one of those ridiculous situations that somehow felt nice.
Stella relaxed, a little knot loosening in her chest.
“It was definitely a surprise,” Stella told them once the laughter slowly subsided and Eve caught her breath, cradling her hand over her belly. Stella wondered if the baby, if Cwera, was kicking again. “Um, what’s a Rut?”
Valerie blew out a breath. She gave her an understanding smile. “All Keriv’i in their prime experience them. Once every month or two, depending on the male. They, erm, get a little insatiable.”
Stella’s brow furrowed. “Like…hungry?”
Tavak had told her that he didn’t eat every day. Did that have something to do with it?
Eve guffawed again. “Girl, you crack me up.”
Valerie laughed again, pouring Stella more tea from the pot. “No. Like all they think about is sex. During Dravka’s last Rut, it lasted two days and you wanna know how many times we had sex?”
Stella swallowed.
“I couldn’t even tell you because I lost count,” Valerie said, shaking her head. Stella focused on breathing in through her nose, slow, deep breaths. “I couldn’t walk for like a week. For us, it’s like two days of a never-ending orgasm, morning to night, because of their teela. Pretty much for them too. At least the males with mates.”
But…Tavak didn’t have a mate.
As if reading her mind, Valerie said, “For unmated Keriv’i, they learn to go without.” There was another flash of that bitterness on her face, which disappeared just as quickly as it came. “One method during their Rut is to chain themselves up. They get pretty strong during it. Sometimes, it’s necessary.”
Stella’s jaw dropped. “They chain themselves up?”
Stella could remember a few days where Tavak hadn’t come to Reji’s bar a little over a month ago. She’d thought it strange since he’d come in every night up until that point without fail. She’d been worried and disappointed. Then he’d shown up again and Stella had forgotten it, simply glad to see him.
Had he…had he been going through his Rut then? It would make sense, given what Valerie was telling her.
Stella quickly took another gulp of her tea.
“I had no idea,” she said quietly. Then she sighed, setting her cup back down. “Look, I—I don’t really know what you’ve heard about Tavak and I. If he told you something or if you heard something from someone else but…we’re friends. I like him. A lot,” she whispered, flashing them a small, sad smile that they probably saw right through. “But he—he doesn’t want anything serious, which is probably why he hasn’t told me any of this.”
That truth was hard to swallow.
“Oh,” Valerie murmured. Carefully, she said softly, “I see.”
Stella nodded.
Quiet descended again. Quiet that made Stella antsy, thinking that she was beginning to overstay her welcome.
Just as she was about to make an excuse to leave, Valerie said, “We heard rumors about you and Tavak here and there. You know how beings talk around Dumera. But it was Ravu that actually told us about you in more detail.”
Stella frowned. Ravu?
“And Ravu wouldn’t have done that unless he knew something that we didn’t. No one knows Tavak like Ravu does. Those brothers are thick as thieves. They’ve been through a lot together,” Valerie said quietly. She cast a look at Eve. “They all have.”
Stella let those words sink in.
Tavak had said something yesterday afternoon when she’d gone to his jivera. He’d told her that sex was one of the easiest things in the universe for him…and also the most difficult.
His words had struck her. There had been a quiet vulnerability to them, a long story behind them, but she knew that if Tavak wanted her to know that story, then he would tell her in his own time. She wouldn’t pry or push.
Was that what Valerie was hinting at? Had something happened to the brothers? To the Keriv’i males on Dumera, who all seemed to be linked in some way?
Stella didn’t miss the fact that Dravka and Tavak both had a rare and expensive contraception implant that would wear off around the same time either.
She thought about why that would be…and Stella feared she knew.
“All I’m saying is that Tavak can be a hard nut to crack, you know what I mean?” Valerie said, the corner of her lip lifting slightly. “But just the fact that he’s with you…you might not understand the significance of that but we do. Ravu does. Trust me when I say that I never thought I’d see Tavak with someone. Not in a million years. But he’s with you.”
Stella’s lips parted at Valerie’s words, feeling something that felt strangely like hope flutter in her chest.
“Really?” she whispered.
Valerie nodded. “We all know how he is. But he’s worth the wait. And the battle. Because there will be one with him, I promise you that. But don’t give up on him. He’s worth fighting for. All the good ones are, right?”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Tavak would have recognized her figure anywhere.
And she was currently walking towards him, down the paved pathway that ran from the jivera forest to Dumera’s center.
He swallowed, his body already reacting to her in a way he’d always thought impossible. He’d always assumed his desire would be nonexistent once he was done with that life. For a couple months, that had been the case. Tavak’s body had felt dead, a heavy boulder tethered to Dumera with gravity and nothing more.
And then Stella had literally stumbled into his quiet existence and his desire had roared to life.
Her head was down. She was studying the road directly in front of her as she walked. She hadn’t seen him yet and a part of Tavak was hopeful. Hopeful that she’d come to his jivera, to tell him that she wanted to continue whatever they were doing. That she was okay with keeping their relationship centered around sex. Nothing more.
The other part of Tavak cursed himself. Because he knew he was being selfish. He knew she liked him. Wanted him in a way he couldn’t give her.
But didn’t she understand?
This was the only way they could be together. Sex was the only thing Tavak was good for and he could at least give her that. She deserved that, especially since he knew she’d been starved for touch, for a male. The mere thought of her going to another male on Dumera for sex, any male at all, sent something sharp and aching through him, so disturbing that sometimes it stole his breath straight from his lungs.
Veki, it had to be him. It was always going to be him.
Stella heard his footsteps because
her head snapped up. Her feet seemed to trip over themselves when she saw him but she righted herself quickly and stopped on the road, watching Tavak approach.
“Are you here to see me?” Tavak asked her softly when they were within arm’s reach of one another. “I’ve been at the labs since this morning.”
Tavak hadn’t slept after he’d left her small room above Reji’s bar, so he figured he might as well work as a distraction. He’d been haunted by the lingering cries of pleasure in his ears, the memory of her body, the feeling of her legs wrapped around his hips. Most jarring of all was that sex with her hadn’t stirred up old memories. It had felt new and exhilarating.
Tavak had been consumed with Stella and only Stella. And Tavak felt hopeful about that. Hopeful that his past life wouldn’t taint the one he was trying to build for himself on Dumera. Given Yikerza’s presence here, Tavak thought he had an uphill battle ahead of him.
Stella was studying him in a way that made his hearts pick up pace. He swore he could still feel her touch on his abdomen, sliding up his chest, scraping against his nipples.
Tavak swallowed hard, shaking himself.
“No,” she said quietly and disappointment crashed down onto him. “Um, Valerie invited me over for tea. Eve was there too.”
Tavak tensed. It had slipped his mind that Stella had met Valerie but it had been Valerie who’d shown her where Tavak lived.
“Is that…is that okay?” Stella questioned quietly, no doubt seeing the way his shoulders bunched. “Sorry, I should’ve mentioned something about it, um, last night. But I…”
She trailed off, biting her lip.
Tavak could feel the tension between them. Rising and building. He could feel her hesitation around him now. He wondered if he’d ruined the relationship between them. The possibility stabbed at his chest, especially when he noticed Stella’s absent smile and the dark circles under her eyes.
Of course, he’d always wanted Stella to meet Valerie and Eve. There was a very low human population on Dumera, after all, and he’d known that Stella liked people, liked being around them.
What Tavak feared was that Stella would discover what he’d done on Everton. On Jrika. But he trusted Valerie. He knew that she would never disclose such personal information about him, or Ravu, or Dravka, or Khiva, to anyone.
Tavak relaxed.
“Pax,” he murmured. “You thought I’d be angry about it?”
Her eyes quickly darted to his. Tavak clenched his fists at his sides when the desire to reach out and touch her rode him hard. But her lips looked so damned soft. And there was a subdued sadness to her that he wanted to wipe away. He thought kissing her would make her smile at him again but that wasn’t fair.
“They’re your friends,” was what she replied. She lifted a shoulder in a small, uncertain shrug. “I didn't know if you wanted me hanging around them.”
Her explanation further deepened his frown.
Did she really think that?
His tongue felt thick and tied. He hated this. This discomfort between them. This uncertainty.
And I did this, he knew. I caused this.
“Stella…”
But then he huffed out a sharp breath because the breeze shifted. It came hurtling down the road behind her and all at once, he was hit with his smell. Tavak’s scent all over her, even though it was subdued and soft. She’d bathed but still…he lingered on her. In her.
Vauk.
For a moment, he was stunned. For a moment, something primal went through him. So vauking right. His scent on his female was the only thing that was right in this whole universe.
Tavak was stunned at the fierce possessiveness that pumped through him like blood. The Keriv’i in him wanted to bite her neck. Mark her. Claim her. The Keriv’i in him wanted to spend his teela over her belly, her breasts, her cunt. He wanted to rub it into her skin, branding her with his scent, a warning to other males to stay the vauk away.
Tavak had never felt this instinct before.
Not once in his entire life.
His voice was tight and rough when he asked, “Have you given any thought to what we discussed last night?”
Because if she rejected him, Tavak thought he might never be right.
He needed her.
Vauk, he needed her.
My Rut is coming, he knew. Maybe this was why being around her felt like such a punch to the gut. Maybe this was why these primal urges were coming to the surface, rising with his impending Rut.
Stella tucked a strand of black hair that blew in front of her face behind her ear.
“I haven’t decided,” she told him quietly.
Disappointment sunk in his belly but at least it wasn’t a ‘no.’ The arrogant part of Tavak thought that he could make the sex so vauking good for her that she wouldn’t be able to stay away.
He certainly had the experience to.
Stella took a step forward, and for a moment, Tavak’s breath hitched, wondering if she would touch him again. He actually wanted her to, when before he could barely stand to feel others’ flesh on his own.
But she was only stepping around him on the pathway, cutting their conversation short, if it could even be called that.
“I have to get back to Reji’s,” she said, her voice soft, the words slow. “I’ll see you?”
Those last words were so damn uncertain and for a moment Tavak felt fear thread through him. That she would walk away from this. That she would distance herself from him.
Which was ironic considering, in the beginning of knowing her, that was all Tavak wanted her to do. Leave him alone.
Now the thought brought fear and panic rising in his chest.
“Not tonight,” he told her gruffly. He needed to get his vauking head on straight before he returned to Reji’s. Walking into that bar, remembering that he’d gotten her naked and tasted her on the counter where he usually sat would be a special kind of hell for him. Especially when she could barely look at him right now.
Stella nodded. “All right.”
They stared at each other for another long moment, Stella shifting from one foot to the other.
Finally, Stella cleared her throat and flashed him a small, quick smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Have a good night.”
Then she was turning. Tavak watched her go. Watched her hips and backside sway away. A backside he’d palmed and gripped and squeezed last night as she’d mewed her pleasure in his ear.
With a curse, he turned away.
Demav, what the vauk was he going to do if she decided to walk away?
Chapter Twenty-Four
Stella groaned.
She tossed again. The blankets felt too heavy. Her back was sticky with sweat and she was tingling and a little horny and remembering last night and sad and frustrated.
Ugh.
She got up from bed. Went to the window to open it a little wider. There was a small breeze tonight and it drifted across her skin. She leaned against the ledge of the window, draping her arms over it, feeling that breeze across her cheeks.
The air was perfumed and lovely. The scent of jivera flowers, which only bloomed at night, came with the breeze. Delicate and soft. Way better than the sour smell of Luxirian brew that seemed to permeate this place.
Stella sighed, her eyes going in the direction of the jivera forest. Slowly, her fingers traced her wrist and then trailed up her arm. Her skin felt sensitive. It tingled under her touch and she remembered how she’d sizzled with Tavak’s.
Gently, her fingers ran over her shoulder and then down her neck. Her thumb found her tight nipple and she rubbed it gently, biting her lip when she felt that pleasure zing down her belly.
She moaned softly when she pinched it tight. Then she was stripping out of her tunic and she crawled back to bed naked.
Maybe I don’t need him, she thought. Maybe this will be enough for me.
Her hips lifted when her fingers stroked down her body, petting it, thinking of Tavak and the way he’d bu
ried his tongue between her thighs on the bar downstairs. It had been hell working tonight. Wiping it down. Sliding glasses of Luxirian brew over the top of it when all she could do was remember Tavak and the fact that he wasn’t there.
Her back arched and lifted off her bed when her fingers found her clit. She huffed, her legs tightening, her buttocks clenching. With her other hand, she slipped her fingers inside her pussy, imagining they were Tavak’s cock even though her own fingers were laughably lacking.
She moaned and wiggled around on the bed.
This will be enough, won’t it? she wondered, biting her lip, squeezing her eyes shut, desperately needing it to be. She was beginning to feel the sharp edge of her orgasm creeping up on her. She was drawing nearer and nearer as her fingers rubbed her clit faster and faster.
When that pleasure crested, waves of it went through her body and she gasped, frozen, savoring every moment.
Then it was over all too soon.
Stella sagged back onto the bed, panting, catching her breath as a new sheen of perspiration dotted her flesh.
“It’s good,” she whispered to herself, throwing an arm over her face. Bitterly, she said, “But he’s ruined me. Dammit.”
She couldn’t stop thinking about sex with him. All fucking day. She couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Stella was a master at getting herself off. She’d had to be, as one of the only females living on Haase’s ship. Viable males to have sex with were few and far between. Now, she was living alone on Dumera. Before Tavak, she’d thought her solo orgasms were way better than the ones she received during sex with her past lovers.
But now, in the aftermath of the one she’d just had, she was even more frustrated than she’d been when she’d started.
Because now she knew what sex could be. Addicting and shatteringly amazing.
She missed the kissing afterwards. She missed the cuddling. The touching. The talking. Of course, Tavak hadn’t done those things with her last night in the aftermath but at least she’d felt connected to someone during it.