“No. I didn’t see him again. I hadn’t even planned to tell him about the baby. I mean, I had no illusions about breaking up your marriage; you guys were happy.” She waved her hand for emphasis. “He was just screwed up one night and I was drunk enough to not care. We ran into him a couple of years later, though. He guessed she was his.”
Allie had only seen the child’s face once, but it was apparent why she seemed familiar. “She looks a lot like him.”
“Yes, she does.”
“And you never saw him again?” This seemed unlikely.
Maggie hesitated only briefly. “He came here to see Merrie. I’m an accountant. I have clients out of town and eventually he offered to stay with her. I don’t have family in town. He’d stay for a couple of days, if I needed to be gone for work.” Maggie’s eyes bored into hers as she spoke insistently. “You have to understand, he didn’t come to see me. He came to see Merrie. He hated coming here, hated lying to you.” And then, sadly. “I think he almost hated Merrie. But he felt… obligated. She was his daughter.”
Maggie’s story had a ring of truth, but for years she held one scenario firmly set in her mind. It was hard to dispel. “How does that explain poker nights?”
“Poker nights?”
“Ben was gone. Every month, first Tuesday.”
Maggie tilted her head to the side. “Poker night.”
Allie hesitated, held her breath. “He said that’s where he was. You can see how I may have my doubts now.”
“He wasn’t here. My guess is he was playing poker.”
“Oh shit.” Jake scowled and leapt from his seat, prowled the room.
“Yeah.” The quaking in her knees was unnerving. She let her eyes follow him as he stalked between the sofa and the bookcase, then back again. Was he thinking the same thing she was? Years ago she confronted him about these nights. Why was he not a part of this ritual? He simply explained that he spent every day with Ben, and while he may be his best friend, they needed time apart. Jake didn’t know if he played cards every month or not. Without a clear answer, Allie let it drop.
Troubled as he seemed, Jake faced Maggie, arms folded across his chest, his square jaw set. “Did he come here the night he got in his accident?”
Maggie’s long breath sounded across the room. She lowered her eyes before responding. “Yes.” Her nod was slow, diffident. “He hadn’t been here for a few months, and then he showed up out of the blue. He’d never done that before. I always called him to let him know when I needed to be gone.”
“Why did he come here that night?”
Maggie turned to look at Allie. “You’d just returned from your trip north. He came to tell me he was done, he couldn’t do it anymore. He couldn’t stand lying to you. He planned to come clean, tell you about Merrie. And he planned to stop seeing her.”
Jake dropped back onto the sofa, reached for her hand. His palm was sweaty.
“Honestly, he was more upset than I was. You see, Merrie doesn’t know he was her father. To her, he was just Ben.”
Oh, Lord. Was anything she knew real? “Did he give you money for her?”
Maggie shook her head. “The night he came to say goodbye—the night of his accident—he offered again but I told him no. I’m a partner in my firm, I have good benefits. There was a life insurance policy, which was a surprise to me. It’s in the bank. Hopefully, she’ll use it for college.”
Yes, hopefully she would. “If you don’t mind my asking, how does she handle her condition?”
Maggie lifted one shoulder. “She’s bright, well adjusted. We deal with the rest day by day.”
The door flew open and Merrie, dressed in hot pink from the ribbon in her hair to the laces in her grimy white tennies, barreled in, hands flying.
Maggie turned in her seat at the sound of the door crashing against the wall, smiling and holding her arm out to her daughter. She signed as she spoke. “Come in here, honey; there are people I’d like you to meet.”
Breathless, the girl spun into the room, a bright smile on her face. She stared at Jake for a moment before lifting her hands to gesture.
“I remember you. You were at DQ.” Maggie’s hands were smoothly confident as she translated.
He smiled and nodded to her. “Yes I was. I used to know your brother. And I wanted to say hello to your mom.”
Merrie stood with her mother, who used her hand motions to pass on Jake’s words then introduce the visitors. “Honey, this is Jake and his friend Allie. They were friends of Ben’s.
Merrie nodded to her mom with a happy grin. “I remember Ben. He moved away.” Maggie put Merrie’s signs into words. “He used to play with me when I was little. He was a nice man.”
Merrie then turned back to Jake, a study in seriousness. “My brother told me you used to be his soccer coach when he was younger than I am. I want to play soccer, too.”
Allie melted. Just grinned at the girl with so much energy, so much enthusiasm. She found Jake’s eyes. He was grinning, too.
“You need to talk to your mom about that.”
Maggie’s hands lifted, moved. “Yes, I did already.” Merrie screwed up her face. “She thinks I need piano lessons instead.”
The girl was adorable. Jake’s laugh rumbled against her side. “Well, they say mommies know best.”
Merrie pouted, then grinned. “If I have to play music, I want to play the drums. I can feel the drums better, anyway. I could play The Little Drummer Boy on my birthday.”
“Your birthday?”
The girl bubbled with energy as her hands flew. Again, Maggie’s voice told the story. “Uh huh. My birthday’s on Christmas. That’s why they call me Merrie. Get it? It’s really short for Meredith, but I like Merrie—it sounds happy.”
Maggie smiled indulgently and reached for the girl, wrapping her in her arms. “Honey, time for your bath. Say goodbye please.”
Merrie skipped across the room to the pair on the couch, gifted Jake with a two-armed squeeze around his neck, then Allie. Standing back, using her best company manners, with a grin that crooked up a little more on one side than the other, she signed, “It was very nice to meet you. ‘Bye.”
And she was gone.
Jake stood. Allie followed him up, her eyes following the path the girl took. “Maggie, if you don’t mind, at some point, I’d like to spend more time with her.”
Maggie, still seated, was more curious than suspicious. “Why?”
The woman was as much a casualty as any of them. Why did Allie feel the need to apologize? Maggie was a person she knew long ago, whose life was dramatically affected by a twisted series of events. But it was her nature to focus on the positive. She chose to glean any good that may be wrung from this odd situation. And to her, that meant Trey had a sister.
“She has a brother she’s never met.”
Maggie’s head bowed. Tears silently drenched her eyes before she dashed them away.
Allie reached out a hand, let it touch Maggie’s shoulder before returning it to her side. “My son has a sister. I’d like him to know her.”
Maggie nodded, rubbed her eyes again, led Jake and Allie to the door. “Please don’t feel that you must have a relationship with Merrie. But if you want to see her, let me know. We can set something up.” Maggie passed her a business card, her contact information neatly listed.
Allie took the card, glanced at it. Had she ever received one before, years ago? “I’ll be in touch. Hopefully soon, but I need to discuss this with Trey before Merrie simply appears in his life. Needless to say, this will come as somewhat of a surprise.”
Maggie’s expression was impassive. “I agree, that will be best for both of them.”
Allie leaned in to hug this woman she had a bizarre link to. There was no bitterness, no resentment. They were merely two mothers, each protecting their child.
Jake sat beside Allie in the dark confines of his truck. “I feel like the earth just tilted.”
Allie nodded, then shook her head. “I
can’t even… oh God, Jake. Poor Ben.”
“Yeah, all these years I’ve been mad at him. Thinking he was such an ass, stepping out on you. I mean, what was he thinking? I never even considered that maybe he suffered too.”
He started the ignition and backed out of Maggie’s driveway. Cars passed them, their headlights shining as he merged into freeway traffic. He needed this quiet time for contemplation. Pairing old beliefs with new knowledge, reconciling the two.
“I’ve spent a lot of time and energy learning to live with what I thought Ben did to me. It’s incredible, but even after all the pain he caused, I can still hurt for him. I wish he told me. We could have worked it out.”
No, Ben never would have done that. Jake checked the rear-view, moved out from behind a semi. “He would have protected you from anything, Allie. And he did try to tell me. It was the next day, after his… time… with Maggie. I stormed at him, called him everything hateful I could think of.” How many times over the years had he given that day a different ending? Full of guilt, he slammed a fist into the steering wheel. “Dammit, Allie, we were friends. I worked with him every day. Why couldn’t he talk to me about the child?”
With her palm soft and quiet on his arm the acid churning in his gut eased. His eyes flew to hers; the anguish there was not betrayed by her soothing voice.
“He should have let us help him. You knew Ben. You knew him with Trey. Can you imagine him having a child and having to sneak to spend time with her, hating that he had to? We planned elaborate parties for Trey, clowns and magicians and trips to the zoo, but he couldn’t even see Merrie on her birthday.”
“But he planned to give her up for you. For you and Trey.”
She pulled her arm away; he immediately felt the loss. “I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.”
He drove, lost in his memories. Exited and turned onto her street, and then into her driveway. He turned the key in the ignition and twisted to face Allie, shoveled his hair off his forehead. “He loved you a lot.”
She smiled, fingered a lock that tumbled back. “He loved us both.”
He captured her hand, laced their fingers across the console. “I’m glad we know what really happened.”
“So am I.” She shared a rueful smile. “I could live with what we imagined. But this is easier.”
“You okay?”
“I am.” It was true, she truly was. Not back to the place she started, but forward to a better place. The truth tore down the last of her barriers. She was already at peace in her new life. And now she was at peace with Ben. “I really am. How about you?”
“He was my best friend, even if his moral compass did point directly south, to his dick.” His grin quirked up one side of his mouth. “He was an ass.”
A laugh bubbled in her throat and escaped. “Yeah, he kind of was.”
Jake leaned forward to kiss her cheek. He climbed out of the truck and ran around to pull her door open, then helped her down until she stood on the driveway beside him. “How will Trey handle this?”
Her heart lurched. “I have no idea. It may be difficult.”
“I’m here.”
She lifted her eyes to Jake, who was there for her so many times, in so many different ways.
“I’m counting on it.”
Allie walked toward the door, then stopped and turned back, grinning.
“I still owe you a movie. Do you still want to come over on Sunday?”
“You up for it?”
“Sure. I’ve got one all picked out—it’s perfect.”
She met him at the door in a skimpy little tee and yoga pants. No way was he going to notice what they did to her ass.
“Streisand and Redford, it’s perfect. What could be more romantic than star-crossed lovers as political opposites in a controversial time in American history?”
The damn girl was nearly licking her chops in anticipation. “I’d rather have a kidney removed.”
“It’s tragic. I cry every time.”
She had that dreamy look in her eyes. The look usually associated with kittens and brand new babies. The look that played hell with his good intentions. “By the time it’s over I may cry with you. Please tell me you’re making something good for dinner.” The back of her hand slammed into his gut. “Umph!”
“Pot roast.”
Halfway through the epic tale of Katie and Hubbell, he loved the movie. Well, not the movie as much as its effect on Allie. Tucked up against his side; she snuggled in with her head nestled against him, wadded tissues heaped beside her. Her hair smelled like spring flowers and her skin was as smooth as silk.
God bless a good old fashioned love story.
“Thanks again for dinner, the roast is delicious. I get tired of my own cooking.” Sitting across from Allie at her kitchen table seemed almost intimate tonight. He had flicked the CD player on. Adele. Carried candles in from the living room and turned off the overhead fixture. Did she notice it, too? His heartbeat knocked against his breastbone.
“I like your new glasses. They make you look very distinguished.”
He laughed with a scoop of potatoes hanging on his fork. “I finally chucked the readers. Life is so much easier when you can see what you’re doing.” With a two-fingered nudge he adjusted them on his nose. “Now tell me about your week.”
“I had another date last night.” She smiled, lifted her wine glass. “With Tom Gainey; you remember him.”
Yeah, he knew him. He used to like him, too, the rat bastard. He hunted for words that sounded supportive, but the best he could come up with was, “Really, how do you like that?” He didn’t, not one bit.
“I had an appointment on Thursday to go over Trey’s college fund and a few other investments and we got talking. I didn’t know his wife died. A year or so ago, I guess. Anyway, he asked me to dinner.”
“Did you have a good time?” Did he have you home early, drop you off at the curb?
“Well, dinner was good.” The devil was in her smile, along with the dimple that snagged his attention. “The company, not so much. All he talked about for over an hour was this type of bond, that type of mutual fund. I was afraid I’d fall asleep before dessert.”
“Maybe we should hook him up with Maggie.”
Allie laughed and stabbed a roasted carrot.
“I’m sorry you didn’t enjoy yourself.” And now he didn’t have to kick Tom Gainey’s ass. “Better luck next time.”
“Yeah, thanks. Until then I have my kids at school.” She forked a bit of meat. “Oh, and Maddie. We’re still training for that race in January.”
He let her ramble on about that as they finished dinner, then asked about the kids in her class, told her about the new office project in Cottonwood. Even though she had no interest in running the company, she’d always seemed interested in it.
Plates clanked and silverware jangled as he loaded the dishwasher. “I’ll be back a week from Sunday. Flying to Oregon next weekend.”
Allie finished wiping the table, rinsed out the dishcloth in the sink. “Oh? Business?”
He looped an arm across her shoulders, herded her back into the living room. “A family wedding. Should be fun.” He stayed until he caught Allie stifling a yawn in her own corner of the sofa, then left her there with a kiss to her forehead.
Allie set aside the worksheets she was marking and stretched to pick up the jangling telephone.
“Hello?”
“It’s Maddie. You busy?”
Allie stretched her legs out, propped her bare feet on the edge of the coffee table. “Hi, just finishing up worksheets, then I thought I’d bake cookies to send to the boys, maybe snickerdoodles this time. They can pass them around the dorm, make a few new friends. How are you doing with Jax gone, by the way?”
“You kidding?” The words erupted on a chuckle. “I’m better than good. No more hollow leg at the dinner table, and the girls’ schedules are a breeze compared to his. I feel like I have nothing but free time on my hands
.”
It was easier for Maddie to laugh it off; her house wasn’t a silent tomb. “Well, enjoy it while you can.
Maddie let out a melodramatic sigh. “Yes, Em starts high school next year; my work begins again. I’ll call you for backup, Auntie Allie.”
“Nothing I’d love more.” Even Maddie didn’t know how much she enjoyed her daughters. Jake was the only person she ever told her deepest secret to. “So, what’s up?”
“I forgot to tell you the girls have orthodontist appointments before school tomorrow. Doctor Campbell is away fishing so his new partner will be seeing them. Anyway, I won’t be able to run.”
“We run every day, Maddie, I’ll see you tomorrow. If you’re worried about my safety, don’t.” She let the warmth in her voice bleed through the telephone connection. “I’m more concerned about you, dragging those girls kicking and screaming to their ortho appointment.”
Her cell phone rang on her way home the next day. She dug around in her purse until she located the source, dragged the device to her ear. “Hello?”
“Oh my goodness, he’s gorgeous!”
“Maddie? Who’s gorgeous?”
“Blake. The new orthodontist. He recently moved here from back east. Oh my goodness, as sweet as can be. I think Emily’s in love.” Maddie was as giggly as one of her daughters.
“Well, oh my goodness.” Maggie’s laughter was infectious so she giggled along. “Maybe they’ll actually enjoy wearing braces now.”
“I sure hope so. Emily and Tory have both fought the metal every step of the way.”
Trey fought his, too, back when he was thirteen. Ben was still alive.
“…so he said he would. That sounds nice, don’t you think?”
Oh no, what did she miss? “Sorry, you lost me. Said he would what, Maddie?”
“Blake mentioned he hadn’t made many friends yet.” She repeated it like she was speaking to a dimwitted child. “So I asked him over. Friday night at our house. We’ll invite people. Barbeque. Of course you’ll come.” Maddie seemed to have it all worked out. “Like I said, he’s hot. He’s single. Who knows, maybe something will come of it.” Ah, now Allie understood.
Twice in a Lifetime (Love Found) Page 18