Oh, but Artua’s a boy, Francoiso said. He didn't used to be, admittedly. But after Exalmpora…
You gave him Exalmpora? That's— I wanted to say wrong. Unethical, perhaps. But the words caught in my throat. The part of me that wanted Exalmpora so much right now, also thought that there was absolutely nothing wrong with Artua taking it.
That's the medicine that Alsie pours down the boy's throat in the thimble every day. Her job… Francoiso paused, as if he didn't believe Alsie should have a job at all. She's been given the task of making sure that Artua becomes a dragonman. King Cini thinks it's his will, but it's actually Finesia's.
But how can a girl become a boy? I don't understand.
It's the Exalmpora that does it. Darling, I… He looked up towards where the sun had been. We had now just left the secicao smog and the sun was hiding behind a real, white cloud. I was once a woman, Pontopa.
My jaw dropped. It didn't make any sense. Francoiso’s features were the epitome of masculinity and so I found this hard to believe. Across the table, the king looked up at us, but Alsie pulled his face away and whispered something in his ear. She then shot an angry glance at Francoiso, as if he shouldn't be telling me this. But Francoiso shook his head at her and turned back to me. He closed his eyes, put his hand on his temple as if focusing on something, and then continued to speak.
Like you, he said. I was once a dragonseer. One of the Famous Four who the king allegedly executed in the gas tower during the dragonheats. But he only ended up killing one of us, although he told the Tow Observer he’d killed all four of us. Instead, he made us drink Exalmpora. The idea of the king's scientist at the time, Captain Colas… My father… We were his experiment... Francoiso shuddered but kept his hand to his temple. His face scrunched up a little as if straining. Across the table, Alsie was holding the king close and kissing him. But she had her eyes open and was watching us out of the corner. It was almost as if she could hear Francoiso and myself talking, or at least parts of the conversation.
It must have been terrible, I said. Or perhaps, wonderful…
You're right. It was fantastic. You can't help but enjoy Exalmpora. It changes you… And you gain a connection to Finesia.
The Empress?
Don't you understand? Finesia and secicao are one and the same. When she drank of the Tree Immortal, she hacked it to pieces and ate every last inch of its bark. Then, her skin became like bark and she shattered into millions of little pieces. Out of those pieces grew the first strands of secicao.
I laughed. So, she doesn't even have physical form?
Oh, she has. It just isn't human… Yet. Francoiso opened his eyes and I felt a slight jump in the collective unconscious. He took hold of the back of my head and pulled me close to him. I want you Pontopa. I can see how the Exalmpora is changing you and I know, unlike me and Charth, that you’ll stay a woman. This is what Finesia wants. We can multiply and create more of us. Start the birth of a new race.
But how does the cure fit into this? I asked. Charth gave it to me last night, because he said there was no way you'd do so.
I felt someone listening there again. Alsie, just waiting for Francoiso to let his guard down, so she could keep tabs on him. Dragonheats, I wanted to kill that bitch for invading our privacy.
Francoiso lowered his head and immediately put his hand to his temple. He closed his eyes and I felt a tightening in the collective unconscious again. I looked at Alsie who was staring at us over King Cini's shoulder. She'd heard what I said, and I could tell she wasn't happy with Francoiso.
Though my suitor’s eyes were closed, I could make out lines of guilt across his face. Or, maybe I could feel that guilt in the collective unconscious. Charth is not as far gone as me, he said. My brother is stronger in the mind. He… can resist the Exalmpora. Although still, it managed to change him. But out of the three of it, he showed the least restraint. He drank it the slowest.
Like Sukina, I said.
Yes, he and her are very much alike.
Now it was me gazing into space. I raised my hand as the sun once again appeared from behind the clouds. I looked back at Francoiso and felt drawn to his handsome face. My body thrumming with desire from the tips of my fingers to those much deeper places. Francoiso opened his eyes.
I want you, I said. I want the Exalmpora. I want to become…
I know exactly how you feel, he said and, for the first time since I'd been sober, we kissed. I caught a glimpse of Sukina then, nestled within Charth's arms. Our eyes met and I saw the alarm registering on her face.
Resist it Pontopa, she said to me in the collective unconscious.
No, I said back to her. I won't.
Pontopa, you don’t want to become this person. You don’t want to lose control. I'd never heard Sukina sound angry before. We must take Taka, get out of here and return to the fortress. Charth has made the plans. We'll escape tomorrow.
No Sukina. I must pursue my own destiny. And for the first time in my life, I cut off the channel to her, blocking her out of my thoughts.
✽✽✽
The funnel sounded on the steamship and our boat turned into port. We passed nests of Gatling guns mounted on sandbags on both sides of the river, and the rapids settled a little as the river widened out. A fishing cabin with pier stood between the guns, smoke rising up out of its chimney — real smoke, nothing to do with secicao.
An older man emerged from the hut, six rifles strapped onto his back. These weren't the modern repeater Pattersonis but had a much wider barrel and an antiquated look.
“Those are Gladionos,” Francoiso said in my eye. “They're the finest, most accurate, and also most expensive rifles in the land. They can shoot without faltering from two hundred yards and pack so much of a punch they'll bring down a bear in one shot.”
“Kill it?” I asked.
“Depends where you hit the bear,” Francoiso said with a cheeky smile. “But you don't need worry about that, anyway darling.” Because my rifle wasn't loaded… Right. Although, in all honesty, I hoped we didn't encounter any bears.
The old man gave us a rifle each and I noticed that mine and Sukina's were a little smaller than those given to the two Lamford Brothers, Alsie and the king. I took hold of it and appreciated its weightiness, it certainly felt like a weapon of power.
Papo had taken me out shooting a few times through the forest back home. I hadn't killed anything, though, hadn't even dared to pull the trigger to be honest. And all Papo had brought back from those expeditions was a rabbit and a couple of ducks.
I wondered then how Velos was doing back at the palace. Not strangely, under the influence of Exalmpora, I hadn't thought of him much. If the Exalmpora was indeed turning me part dragon myself, my connection to Velos would probably die a little. But then I started to feel guilty. Velos could be dead by now, for all I knew.
He's fine, Francoiso said, again in the collective unconscious.
I shook my head. What will happen to him. If I become a dragonman?
That's for you to decide. And the shock realisation came on me that I may become so cruel that I'd kill Velos myself.
No, I wouldn't, surely? But then these Lamford brothers had killed three Greys back in the Southlands, seemingly without remorse.
This is no time to think about that, Francoiso said. We must focus on the animal you to intend to kill this moment, not the great hulking beast we've left behind in the castle.
Velos is no beast, I replied.
As I said, now is not the time. He sounded a little angry. Then his telepathic voice calmed a little. Look we'll talk about this later, okay?
Okay, I said.
Cini was watching the visual exchanges that took place between me and Francoiso, as well as those between Sukina and Charth I knew nothing of. Dragonseers and dragonmen. Often I don't know what's going on inside your heads. He looked at Alsie. But I'm not sure I want to know, either. Come, this hunt must begin.
He and Alsie walked into the forest hand in hand, th
eir rifles slung across their backs. Francoiso took my hand. Come on, darling. It's time.
He led me into the thick of the forest. The air out here was cool, with little sunlight poking between the trees: a freshness that reminded me of home. The air smelt of pines and silverbirches and the ground had a soft, spongy feel to it. It was hard to believe we were so close to the smog and lifelessness in Slaro where nothing could grow. Hard to believe, in fact, that anything could survive out here.
I kept my rifle close to my chest, and occasionally raised it to aim at passing rabbit or stoat, even though I knew I couldn't shoot them with an unloaded gun.
We're going to have to find a much larger beast than that if you want to marry me, Francoiso said on one occasion. And he continued to lead us into the forest.
Soon enough the air cooled even more and from between the trees came the sound of a running stream.
As I remember, there's a glade near here, Francoiso said. Usually, water's our best bet. He kept light on his feet, his purple velvet boots almost making no sound against the floor. And still he moved fast.
We found the clearing perhaps a minute later, me finding it difficult to keep up with Francoiso's longer strides. He kept ahead a little and soon raised his hand to still me. It's a beauty, he said in the collective unconscious while he turned and placed a finger to his lips.
What is it? I said back mentally. But I didn't need his reply because I saw the creature's two yellow eyes on the other side of the lake, its long neck lowered into the stream, its antlers creating ripples across the water. A white stag, twice as large as any deer I'd seen in my life. We're going to kill that?
Oh yes, Francoiso said. And we shall have a fine feast the night before our wedding.
But it's beautiful, majestic…. Magical.
Come on. You know magic's only a myth.
Which is why you can turn into a dragon…
Because my body allows it. And soon, my darling, your will too.
I smiled at the thought. Tonight, I would drink more Exalmpora and we'd feast on white venison and then soon I'd have all the powers Francoiso had. I raised the rifle and sighted the white stag down it.
That's the spirit, Francoiso said. He also raised his rifle. Once you pull the trigger, then we are technically betrothed.
Though I had no bullet, I felt the power surge through me. I had the power to take the life of one of this land's most beautiful and rarest creatures, something so majestic and powerful. Was this how it felt to command armies? To know that your orders would result in thousands of innocent deaths.
No, this wasn't me. The Exalmpora… I wanted the Exalmpora. But it had control of me. It had me addicted. Sukina was right, I had to fight this.
Don't think about it too much, darling, Francoiso said. You're much, much sexier when you're displaying your wild side.
I bit my lip and sighted down the rifle. The stag raised its head to us, as if aware of the danger. I had only one moment and then it would flee. I pulled the trigger.
My gun bucked and knocked me backwards. Something burrowed itself into the neighbouring tree. My gun had been loaded after all…
The stag turned to run, but Francoiso already had it in his sights. The bang echoed through the forest. The stag stopped still a moment. Then its legs buckled, and it fell to the floor.
I'm sorry, darling, Francoiso said. My ears were ringing but I could still hear him in the collective unconscious. You're going to have to shoot better than that if we're going to last. He winked. But we shall count that as your kill for the magazines.
Thank you, I said, staring at the fallen body, my hands shaking. Now, the whole world will think this was my crime. My triumph. The Exalmpora was turning me into a monster.
But as soon as such despair rose in my mind, a desire quenched it. Exalmpora, I wanted Exalmpora… I would kill for it. I would feast on one of the greatest beasts known to man. I would become stronger. I would become a dragon.
Francoiso, this was Alsie talking now in the collective conscious. You know she's not ready for this yet.
Why Alsie, Francoiso said. So, you finally decide to break in on our moment of triumph. And why did you have to include Pontopa in this communication?
Because she has to know what you're doing to her. Dragonseer Wells, if you drink the Exalmpora too fast, you will become a creature governed by emotions. You want her to be a beast like you, Francoiso, but another beast is no good to Finesia.
I licked my lips. That's exactly what I want, I said. To become wild and free.
That, you shall not get. Francoiso, you already tested my patience when you decided to kidnap Artua and try to deliver her to Dragonseer Sako, just when she was visiting Tow. Yes, Dragonseer Wells, it’s important that you know this, because you should know how dangerous it is cross me.
I struggled to answer back, but while Alsie was speaking here, it was impossible to put word to thought.
Subsequently, Alsie continued. I dragged the two Lamford brothers, as they call themselves, back to the palace and told them I’d kill them with their own cures if they ever tried anything like that again. And to keep the king happy, I executed two innocent ‘perpetrators’ and linked them to Fortress Gerhaun.
Now, Francoiso. Dragonseer Wells also knows what I’m capable of. So, you will give her the cure after the wedding tomorrow and she will drink it every morning after Cini has given her Exalmpora, until she's ready.
No, I said. I didn't need Francoiso to speak for me now. I'll refuse to drink it.
Then we shall battle much sooner than you expected, and I'll kill you with my own claws.
You wouldn't dare, Francoiso said. You're barren yourself and you know how we need another woman to continue the line.
There's still Dragonseer Sako. I'm sure she'll be enough.
Get out of here, Alsie, Francoiso said. I'm sick of your empty threats. And he raised his hand to his temple again.
I've warned you both, Alsie said. And then I felt her leave the channel.
Francoiso crossed to the other side of the lake to examine the kill. I approached, brashly. Through the forest another shot sounded. I felt Sukina's heart sink. They had also killed something.
Marvellous, Francoiso said. I think we'll be accompanying this feast with a great panther.
Then came a third a shot, and I knew that Cini and Alsie had killed something too.
CHAPTER 26
We slept without eating. Tradition had it that both bride and groom should fast the night before the engagement feast. Cini didn't give us any Exalmpora either. I realized later that this was a test. The king wanted to check for any hints of us not being loyal to him, before he indentured us into court.
This time, given I had time available to me, I remembered better how Sukina had taught me to block my thoughts, and I kept myself distanced from my own mind throughout the night. I could constantly feel Alsie close to my mind, prying for any hint of anything that might ruin her plan. I felt Sukina knocking sometimes as well, wanting to get in. But I wouldn't let her. I didn't want to be dragged away from my desires.
Strangely, as I kept distant from my conscious mind, the urge to take Exalmpora was also beginning to dissipate. Instead, emotions rose up within me: guilt for not being concerned about Velos and for wanting to kill that white stag. I kept these distant as well. I just wanted, for a moment, to be.
So, I lay on my bed to appreciate the soft warm kiss of the woollen blanket underneath. From through the window, came the faint sulphuric smell of the smog. It was then that the realization dawned on me. Sukina was right. If I let myself succumb to the Exalmpora than so much I held valuable would be lost. My connection to Velos would die, and I’d hardly thought about him the last few days. And who knows what would happen to my connection to my parents. Instead, I’d lose my will and become a servant to Finesia. It was a terrifying thought.
But that terror could also take reign over me. I remembered the spider that had entered that dark room back at Fortress
Gerhaun and, just as I had let that walk over me, I watched my fear walk by. And then, it floated gently away.
I fell asleep and woke the next day to a knock at the door. I knew it wouldn't be Francoiso — I wasn't allowed to see him until the official proposal. Instead, I was surprised to see Sukina there. “Come on dear.” she said. “Get dressed and let's get this proposal out of the way.”
She didn't say anything about our escape, which was wise given the guards posted around. Instead, I felt her trying to enter my mind again. But I still wasn't ready. At that point, I didn't quite know what I wanted.
I nodded and went to the wardrobe to find a red engagement dress. Symbolic, they said, of all the blood I had shed before my alleged right to bear children. I probably shouldn't elaborate. I put on the dress. I never thought I'd come to this day. Let alone with a man I didn't want to marry. That was it, I didn't really want to marry Francoiso. Part of me knew that I was throwing my life away.
But then I knew what I did want: Exalmpora. Dragonheats, I thought I'd quelled that urge. But here it was, rising again.
The lace around the dress' cleavage felt surprisingly soft against my skin. The red dress was designed to be the most raucous of all of them, and this one had a plunging neckline underneath the lace and displayed well over three quarters of my thighs.
If, as tradition said, he was going to back out, then this dress would make it even harder for him to do so. It felt strange to hold Sukina's hand as we walked to King Cini's entertainment pagoda. Especially since she kept tap-tapping on my mind, trying to find a way to speak to me. There was no way I'd let her in, though. I didn't even look at her. But I kept hold of her hand. Etiquette was etiquette and I didn't want King Cini getting suspicious about anything.
At the pagoda, a fine feast awaited us. Our game from the previous hunt would have to wait until the wedding day. But that hadn't stopped King Cini from providing produce from his finest boutique farms. A hog roast was splayed across the centre of the table and, around it, various canopies so elegantly made they must have each taken hours to construct.
Dragonseer (Secicao Blight Book 1) Page 23