by Penny Parkes
He watched, in horrified slow motion, as Percy Lawson revved the engine of his motorbike to attract attention and then inadvertently powered it into a large hedge by the pub. He emerged moments later unscathed, as though it were the most natural way in the world to park his bike. But then, based on the row of large holes in said hedge, perhaps it was a daily event. Dan made a mental note to talk to him about private health insurance and drank his pint in peace, just a tiny bit disappointed not to have crossed off another square on the Injury Bingo card that Jason had so sweetly devised for them all.
Jamie and Alice wound up inevitably at The Kingsley Arms, just as Grace had finished locking up The Practice for the night and was walking through the Market Place on her way home. Dan noticed instantly that Jamie’s attention was no longer on Coco.
‘Grace?’ Jamie called. ‘Come and have a drink? We’re just road-testing Coco in different environments.’
Grace tucked her newly trimmed hair behind her ear and changed course to join them. Jamie, bless him, was quick off the mark to help Grace with all her shopping bags. ‘What can I get you?’ he asked, before Dan had even formulated the thought.
Thank God Taffy was still on the phone, Dan realised, or one look at the piqued expression on his face would rather give the game away. He pointedly said nothing as Jamie and Grace chattered away happily about the pros and cons of fruit in Pimm’s. By the time Jamie went in to order, Grace was blushing prettily and there was a sparkle in her eyes that Dan hadn’t seen before.
‘You’re in demand,’ he said to Grace, aiming for light and breezy, but ending up sounding childishly churlish.
She looked a little taken aback. ‘I could say the same about you.’ She nodded her head to the left where a neighbouring table was packed with the training group from the Larkford Harriers, including Lindy Grey, whose gaze was firmly fixed on Dan.
He smiled tightly at Lindy and turned back to Grace. ‘And this Jamie chap – is he a good egg?’ There was a loaded tension in their conversation that had never been there before and a confusion in Grace’s eyes that, in all probability, mirrored his own.
It was as though the ground beneath their friendship had subtly shifted and neither of them had been expecting it.
‘I hear you’ve been having a tricky few days,’ Grace ventured, deftly folding his empty crisp packet into a perfect triangle, corners all tucked in, neat and perfectly designed. Dan took a gulp of his cider as he realised that the same might apply to the fold-er, as to the fold-ed.
‘Probably long overdue,’ he hedged.
Grace leaned over and squeezed his hand. ‘If everyone around here is taking the time to consider their priorities, maybe this will turn out to be a good opportunity for a little reflection yourself?’ There was nothing flirtatious in her tone, she wasn’t trying to comfort him and come on to him at the same time, the way some girls did. From the expression in her eyes, Dan could see that Grace had only one agenda – for him to be happy. For a moment, with the summer sun glancing off the buildings behind her, the resemblance to Elsie was uncanny. Not so much in looks, as the calm certainty that suffused her.
He was about to reply when Alice – lovely, sweet, relieved Alice – wandered into the conversation with both feet, completely oblivious to any undercurrents and shattering the intensity in a moment. ‘Isn’t Jamie wonderful?’ she breathed, sounding so much younger than she normally did. More her actual age in fact, rather than her emotional age, which seemed to be somewhere in her mid-fifties. ‘He’s being so good with Coco and he’s so sensitive to my feelings about the whole thing – I mean, I really thought for a moment there that Coco might need to . . .’ She petered out and sat down beside Grace. ‘He’s so lovely too, had you noticed?’
Dan frowned. ‘Everybody in the Somerset postcode has noticed, Alice. The question is, does he give this much personal attention to all his clients, or is there is a little something in Larkford that keeps him coming back?’
Alice blushed prettily. ‘Oh no – he’s terribly professional.’ A slightly dreamy look replaced her usual efficient gaze. ‘Shame, really.’ She pulled herself together quickly, looking embarrassed. ‘Besides, who really has time for a relationship these days.’
‘Three pints of lager, a packet of crisps and a fruit-based drink for the ladies,’ Jamie joked as he plonked a tray down in the middle of the table, rather undermining Alice’s notion of him as a sweet sensitive soul.
He passed Alice her drink with a wink, which to be fair, didn’t look terribly professional. The lingering smile he saved for Grace though seemed, to Dan at least, to be in a different league. It was all that he could do to muster a thank you for his pint and not flinch from the matey slap on the shoulder that Jamie delivered as he sat down between them.
Before Dan could work out how to get the maelstrom of his irrational feelings under control and begin to make polite conversation, Jamie’s attention was caught up with Coco, who had started to exhibit some of her new, unsettled behaviour.
‘What’s the matter with you, Muttley?’ asked Taffy affectionately, as he returned to the table. ‘Stop being daft or we’ll have to retire you to a farm in the country.’
‘Taffy!’ cried Alice, clapping her hands over Coco’s ears. ‘They wouldn’t put her down just because she can’t function as an assistance dog anymore.’
Taffy sipped at his drink, raising his glass to Jamie in thanks. ‘I didn’t think they would. I just thought she might like to spend some time at my folks’ place, run in the fields, let off steam, do what spaniels do best. You know – doggy stress relief?’ He sounded a little perplexed at Alice’s distress.
Grace leaned in to him and quietly explained the euphemism, as his eyes widened in disbelief. ‘Well that confirms it, you English are mad.’
‘I’m Scottish,’ said Alice immediately.
‘Potato, Potah-to,’ said Taffy with a wink, knowing just how much it would wind her up. It had also made her smile though and they could all see that that was progress.
Coco circled at her feet again, pulling at the lead and distracted. ‘Is she after the crisps at the next table?’ Grace wondered.
‘Maybe she just prefers cheese and onion,’ Alice said, more in hope than in humour.
‘Let her off the lead a minute, Alice, would you,’ Jamie said. ‘I’ll stay with her, I just want to see what she does.’
Predictably, Coco was off the minute she got the chance, over to the neighbouring table and yapping. She sounded almost in distress but the athletes there just leaned down and scooped her up for a cuddle, even as her little body wriggled frantically. She ended up in Lindy’s arms and she stood up to bring her back to their table.
‘I think you might have lost something,’ Lindy said, even as Coco burrowed against her arm and whined pitifully. She released the squirming bundle into Jamie’s outstretched arms and leaned against the edge of the table next to Dan. ‘A little bird told me that there was trouble in Paradise?’
‘Really?’ said Dan nonchalantly. ‘I don’t think I got that memo.’
Lindy smiled and gently stroked his arm. ‘Well, you know where I am. If you need distraction.’ She leaned in and kissed him slowly on the lips before walking away with a swing of her hips.
Dan could feel the heat in his cheeks but didn’t dare look up. He knew perfectly well how Grace felt about these girls and their ‘hook ups’ – God knows, she’d been vocal enough about them in the past. He didn’t think he could bear to see the disappointment on her face that Dan might fall into that category too.
When he did dare to raise his eyes, it wasn’t the expression on Grace’s face that shocked him, it was to see Julia hovering in the gateway and looking stunned. Lindy was Julia’s Kryptonite – her constant presence and offers of ‘availability’ had made Julia incredibly nervous and insecure when they’d first got back together. How did it look now, that the minute they had parted ways, Dan was smooching with her in public – or so it would seem.
He ma
de to stand up, to go to her and explain, but a car door slammed and Quentin strode into view before he could. The way his arm slid around Julia’s waist and the way he possessively held her close told Dan everything he needed to know about where Julia had spent last night.
As the chaos of the pub garden on a summer’s evening ebbed and flowed around them, it felt for a moment as though they were the only two people in the world – the connection between Julia and Dan across the garden almost tangible. But there was no anger there anymore; it was merely a sad acknowledgement that their time together was over.
Even as Quentin leaned in and kissed Julia’s cheek, her eyes held an apology that Dan chose to accept. He shrugged and smiled ruefully and in that moment, it seemed as though they were closer than ever, through being apart.
Chapter 38
‘Morning, Holly,’ said Julia. ‘I got you a coffee from The Deli to say sorry for being such a bitch the other day. Hattie said this was your favourite – I hope that’s okay?’ She handed Holly a tall skinny cappuccino with extra foam and extra chocolate sprinkles – the extra chocolate sprinkles being her not-so-secret vice.
On hearing the news from Taffy that Julia and Quentin had spent the night together, before the blood on Dan’s forehead was even dry, Holly had been all but braced for fireworks. Walking into The Practice to find Dan and Julia happily chatting to each other about the Health in the Community website had therefore completely thrown her.
‘Dan and I have been talking and I appreciate that you both had my best interests at heart when it came to my mother, even if I wasn’t great at showing that. I’m so sorry,’ Julia said.
Holly’s gaze flickered towards Dan to check whether he too was finding this whole scenario to be a bit surreal, but Julia beat her to the chase. ‘I’ve already apologised to Dan for the whole stapler-lobbing catastrophe and we’ve agreed to keep our relationship strictly professional from now on. I hope that won’t make you and Taffy uncomfortable?’
Gratitude? Apologies? Consideration? Dear Lord – what had happened to Julia overnight and was it contagious?
Dan righted Holly’s coffee, as it listed towards tipping point in her hand. ‘There’s no need to look quite so shocked, Holly. Julia and I were always going to find a way through this.’
‘I know, I know,’ covered Holly quickly. The images of the blood on Dan’s forehead and the fury in Julia’s expression were all too vivid still in her mind though – she couldn’t help but wonder how these two had evolved so quickly, when she herself was still processing their outburst, even as a bystander.
But this morning, she had to confess that the body language between them was easy and convivial – the most relaxed Holly had seen them in weeks.
Quentin and his camera crew came barrelling through the front door and Holly immediately noticed the spark of awkwardness between Dan and Julia that seemed to flare and extinguish itself just as quickly. A micro-reaction that made a whole lot more sense of the situation. She nodded slowly. ‘Okay then. Well, you two kids have fun and Julia, thank you for the coffee. It was a lovely thought and God knows I could use the caffeine this morning.’
Being the face of The Practice, albeit temporarily, had been exhausting and confusing in equal measure for Holly. She was delighted to see Julia back, of course, but there had been something seductive about being her own advocate for how she believed their unique approach to medicine could really make a difference on a larger scale. True, she’d spent an awful lot of time talking about their Health in the Community Scheme, but it had been illuminating to realise that was where her passion actually lay. There was a ripple effect here, as the endorsement brought focus and momentum to their little project. In fact, Holly realised, she didn’t have half as big an issue with being The Practice’s spokesperson if she got to do it on her own terms, in her own words, in her own way. She was sorely tempted to do the next interview in her own clothes too, looking how she normally did – scruffy and exhausted but caring, professional and committed – until she realised with a jolt, that now Julia was back, there probably wouldn’t be a next time.
She quietly excused herself, uncomfortable in the extreme at the surreal conversation developing in front of her as Dan, Julia and Quentin began discussing the morning’s filming with exaggerated politeness and deference.
Sitting down at her desk moments later, with the door firmly closed and a smattering of foam on her upper lip as she sipped her coffee, Holly began to consider whether she’d maybe hit the brie too hard last night and this whole scenario was simply a vivid Technicolor dream? As her gaze fell on to the pile of post on her desk, she was forced to re-evaluate: the postal stamp of Milo’s solicitor adorned a large white envelope sitting on top. In her experience so far, good news never came in a large envelope where the legal profession was involved.
And where Milo was concerned these days, he didn’t so much haunt her dreams, as hold star billing in her nightmares. His single text had been enough to throw her off balance completely. No matter that the likelihood of him turning up on her doorstep was slim, involving altogether too much effort on his part, she still found herself flinching every time the doorbell rang. She was clearly kidding herself to think she had found her balance on that front.
What was it Elsie said? If you’re still thinking about someone, or talking about someone, then chances are you still care about them – if only Holly could work out why that might be the case. Were these shadows and vestiges of emotion always going to be there, she wondered, simply because he was the twins’ father? Because if anyone had asked her a week ago whether she was over Milo, she would have answered with a resounding ‘yes’ – now though, thoroughly rattled, she wished she could be so sure.
Checking the clock, she laid a hand on the envelope and tried to run scenarios in her head. Uppermost in her mind was the fear that he was following through on his earlier threat to re-open the issue of Access where the twins were concerned and that their own legal advice to leave well alone had been misjudged. Best-case scenario, he was holding out his grubby paw for yet more money. When it came to the narcissistic workings of her ex-husband’s mind, Holly was only too familiar with his self-serving notions of what was fair and reasonable.
After all, there was faint chance that the contents of the envelope would take her any closer to the closure and freedom she craved.
Like a child playing Hide and Seek, she jerkily pulled open her desk drawer and thrust the envelope inside – out of sight, out of mind. She knew perfectly well that hiding her head in the sand was not what Elsie had meant when she encouraged Holly to pick her battles. For this morning though, Holly’s inner-child had other ideas. Whatever the contents of the letter, they could wait for a few hours at least.
Midway through the morning and valiantly trying to ignore the white envelope lurking like an unexploded bomb, Holly was counting down the hours until her break. She could only hope that Taffy’s abrupt start to the day – when the twins had decided to use his car keys as the prize in an elaborate treasure hunt scenario before the sun had even risen – hadn’t soured his mood irreparably.
Holly felt a prickle of unease as she even thought about it – playing at Happy Families was one thing; taking on a custody battle would be quite another proposition. For all Taffy’s good points, and God knows there were plenty, only Holly really got to see the other side of him. The side that liked to rationalise and understand every choice and motivation, the side that was always in a hurry to reach a satisfactory conclusion, irrespective of the number of steps he might skip in the process. The side that got so easily frustrated when life got complicated. But, in Holly’s experience anyway, life was complicated and Taffy’s insistence on always choosing the path of least resistance didn’t really seem like a long-term strategy.
Holly pulled her attention back to the job in hand and scrolled through the various screens of notes, trying to get a clearer picture of this patient’s medical history, trying desperately hard not to look shocked
. This was one of the downfalls of being a GP in a small community – what you didn’t already know via the grapevine, you could find out with a few clicks of the mouse. Lindy Grey fidgeted on the chair beside Holly’s desk and pulled the sleeves of her training top down over her hands.
‘You’ve gone awfully quiet, Dr Graham,’ she said tentatively. ‘I’m guessing there’s a lot on that screen that you didn’t know about me?’
Holly swivelled her chair around and made sure that she had her features properly arranged before she spoke. ‘Let’s talk about the letter from the screening centre first, shall we? Then we can look at some factors that might be contributory in all of this.’ She reached out and took Lindy’s hand. ‘And for the record, you did exactly the right thing coming to me with this. I suspect you and Dr Carter have a little too much history to make that an entirely objective conversation.’
Lindy nodded. ‘I keep thinking I’ve brought this on myself, Dr Graham. You can be blunt with me – I’m better with blunt. All the hooking up, the abortions . . . That’s why my smear test came back as abnormal, isn’t it?’
Holly swallowed hard; it was all very well Lindy asking her to be forthright and not edit her opinions, but there was also the small matter of sensitivity to be considered. ‘Well,’ she said slowly, ‘there is a known link between the HPV virus and cervical cancer, of course, and the more partners one has – especially from an early age – will increase the likelihood of carrying that virus. But, Lindy, let’s be clear, I also have patients with cervical cancer who have only had one sexual partner in their entire lives and I see women with multiple partners in perfect health.’ She paused, trying to formulate what she was trying to communicate. ‘It’s a bit like drinking – the message we’re trying to convey is to enjoy everything in moderation and be sensible. Knowing about safe sex and practising safe sex are two rather different things. But, Lindy, this lab report will only give us a snapshot at the moment. The presence of abnormal cells, even pre-cancerous cells, doesn’t automatically mean you have cervical cancer.’