by Gia Riley
“Who’s your friend?” Becca asks him.
I glance at Kinsley to see her reaction. She’s looking at the two of them, but I don’t see the jealousy I saw when I was watching Carson stare at us. It’s a relief.
“This is Stacy. I met her last week when I came to see Wyatt play.”
“I’m Wyatt’s biggest fan,” she says, proudly.
Kinsley sticks her hand out for Stacy to shake. “Nice to meet you, but I’m probably his biggest fan. This one next to me is a close second.”
I chuckle at my Sunny-girl who is making sure she sets the record straight.
Carson jumps in before it gets anymore awkward. “Stacy, this is Wyatt’s sister, Kinsley, and her best friend, Becca. Guy on the end is Kinsley’s boyfriend, Rhett.”
Stacy’s eyes find mine, and I don’t miss the wink she gives me. Thankfully, Carson doesn’t notice, but I can’t say the same for the girls. “I didn’t know Wyatt had a sister,” she adds. That comment’s not going to score her any points with this crowd. That’s for sure.
Becca smiles back, but it’s completely fake. “You probably didn’t know he was seeing anyone either, but now you do.” Kinsley snorts, and covers her mouth when she can’t keep her laughter contained.
Stacy’s head cocks to the side. “Oh, no I didn’t.”
This is going well. Wyatt could have warned me what I was in for.
The Blue Band takes the field, and it makes having a conversation difficult, so we watch the show on the field instead. Stacy tries to yell over the music, and Kinsley rolls her eyes at her. “I have to go back to my seat, but I’ll meet you back at the dorm after the game. You remember which room’s mine, right?”
I almost gag, but Carson nods his head, and returns the kiss she gives him. “Bye, pooky,” she says, with a wave of her fingers.
Once she’s gone, Becca breaks out into a fit of hysterics. “Pooky? You’ve known her for a week and she already has a pet name for you? And a stupid one.”
Carson shrugs his shoulders, not seeming to care. “It’s not that bad. We’re not serious. Just hanging out.”
“You mean screwing,” she clarifies.
He shifts in his seat, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with her. “I didn’t say that.”
“Well, I’m sure you are, but whatever. She seems special,” Becca says with hesitation, biting her lip to control her laughter. If she’s planning on being with Wyatt officially, there’s a good chance she’ll be seeing a lot more of Stacy in the near future. I almost feel bad for her—almost.
Kinsley’s stayed quiet during the whole exchange. I’m glad Carson’s trying to move on, but if he’s trying to find someone like Kinsley, he’ll have to look a whole lot harder. Then again, maybe Stacy’s simply a distraction. Lord knows I’ve had a couple of those when I was trying to get over the fact that I couldn’t be with Sunny.
“I have to pee.”
I laugh at my girl. The game didn’t even start yet. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, I’m good. I’ll be right back.”
“Wait,” Becca says, “I’m coming with you.”
I’ll never understand why girls have to travel in packs, but I stand up and move into the aisle anyway, letting the girls out of the row of seats.
They’re gone for almost fifteen minutes, and I’m checking my watch every five seconds. Sitting here with Carson is more than a little awkward. Finally, Becca’s jogging up the stairs, only Kinsley’s not with her.
“Rhett,” she says, completely out of breath.
I stand up, gripping her arms in my hands. “What happened? Where is she?”
“She was fine and then she starting having a panic attack.”
“Take me to her,” is all I say. She turns around, and goes down the same way she came up. We wind through rows of people, and push through crowds near the concession stands. “Where is she, Becca?”
And then I see her. My Sunny’s crouched in the corner, just outside the bathroom with her head resting on her arms. I run to her, automatically pulling her shaking body into my arms. “I’ve got you, you’re okay.”
“I’m sorry. I’m ruining the game.”
“No, you’re not. What happened?”
She sniffles and wipes her tears away with the back of her hand. Her whole body is still shaking. “I thought I saw him. I was so sure it was him—that he came back to see Wyatt play.”
“Your dad?”
“Yes,” she chokes out. “But he isn’t coming back.”
I hold her in my arms, rocking back and forth against the cold concrete wall. The roar of the crowd filters through the cracks as the team takes the field. I thought bringing her here was a good idea—that she’d get to see her brother play and be happy. I never expected this to happen.
“Come on, let’s go back to the campground.”
“No! I can’t leave. I want to see Wyatt.”
“Sunny, you’re shaking.”
“I just need a minute. It will stop.” She works on her breathing, and eventually she stops clutching her chest. “I’m not so dizzy anymore.”
“You’re sure? Do you want me to get you a drink?”
“No,” she says before pausing. “I promise I’m not crazy.”
“Look at me, Sunny.” I wait for her to turn her head, not wanting her to ever feel an ounce of shame for the way she feels. When she does, I continue, “You’re the strongest girl I know. Don’t ever apologize for having a weak moment. You’re human, and I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
We sit in silence for a few more minutes, and then she says, “When we get back, I want it to be like last night. I want to be in the tent with you where everything’s easy.”
“Okay.” I’d promise her the world if it made her happy.
“I love you, Rhett.”
I lean forward and press a kiss to her lips. “Always.”
FREAKING OUT AT the football game wasn’t in the plans. Yet there I was, hunched over and about to pass out all because I swore I saw my father. Maybe I thought I saw him because I was hoping he would be there for Wyatt. That just for today, he would pick his kids over his grief. We’ve been hurting, too. We’re the ones who lost our parents, but we’re the ones expected to move on like the past couple years of our lives weren’t complete shit.
I shouldn’t say that, the time I’ve been with Rhett, has been amazing. Which is why I’m determined to spend the last few hours of Fall Fest with the people I consider my family now—pretending like the past doesn’t exist. I may never move on from it, but it doesn’t have to suffocate me to the point I lose control of my body anymore.
After the game, we came back here and took a nap. Once Wyatt showed up with Becca, we met them at their site and then walked around Fall Fest. We caught a couple good bands, played some games, and ate enough sugar to keep us up all night. By the end of the night, I was so tired, all I wanted was my boyfriend and my pillow. But Rhett made sure I was taken care of before I fell asleep, just like he promised.
We have a little more time to spend together today before we all have to go our separate ways again. It’ll be weird not sleeping next to Rhett, and I’ll even miss our cozy little tent.
“Whatcha thinking about, Sunny?”
We’re still naked from last night, but even that’s gotten a little easier for me. I’m trying not to be so self-conscious. “Last night.”
“Last night was fun,” he says, with a knowing grin. I finally understand what all the fuss is about.
“And how much I’ll miss our tent.”
He thinks for a second, and then lightning strikes. “We can camp in the barn sometime. I’m moving Dawn over to her new stall soon.”
“That would be fun.”
Rhett leans in to kiss me, and we’re so wrapped up in each other, we don’t notice the zipper of our tent opening. “Whoa,” we hear before pulling apart.
I pull the blanket over myself, and crouch down under the sleeping bag. �
�Who was that?” I whisper.
“I’m not sure, hold on.”
He pulls his sweats on, and grabs his shirt, but I already know who it is—and I’m mortified. “Don’t go out there, Rhett.”
“Why not?”
“You’re going to end up with a black eye if you do. It was Becca and Wyatt, I hear them arguing. What do we do?”
“We can’t stay in here forever. Eventually, we have to face them.”
He’s right, we can’t sit in here all day. Plus, I really have to go to the bathroom. “We get out, and pretend like nothing ever happened. If we don’t mention it, they won’t either.”
“Sunny, you’re adorable, but I don’t see that being the way this plays out.”
“Shit,” I mumble, as I chew on my fingernails. “Okay, let’s just go.”
Once I’m dressed, Rhett unzips the tent, and we file out—a dark cloud of shame hanging low over our heads. Within seconds, my plan to ignore the obvious is shot to shit. Wyatt grabs my arm, and hauls me over toward the trees.
“Be careful with her,” Rhett warns, as Wyatt drags me off, a little too roughly.
“What are you thinking, Kinsley?”
“I didn’t do anything wrong. How is this any different than what you do? What you’ve done,” I stress.
“Because I’m in college. I’m an adult who can make decisions with my head and not my heart. What you have isn’t going to last. It’s perfect right now, but when it ends, you’ll regret it, Kinny. I don’t want you to get your heart broken.”
There’s no use arguing with him about this. He’s never going to be on the same page with me. Not when he’s busy being a protective older brother. So, I use the only line of defense I can think of. “Is Becca a mistake?”
“What? No.”
“Is she old enough to know what she wants?”
“Of course she is.”
“Is what you have with her real?”
“It sure as hell feels that way.”
“Exactly. I’m no different than Becca. Only my guy is the same age as me.”
Wyatt mulls it over for a few seconds, and kicks at a rock on the ground when he realizes I have a point—that his little sister isn’t so little anymore.
“I love him, Wyatt, and I don’t regret a single second of the times we’ve been together.”
He doesn’t say anything back to me. He just shoves his hands in his pockets and walks away. I don’t want to lose my brother over a guy, and I don’t think I have. Still, he knows the one way to hurt me the most is to leave.
Rhett’s by my side once he’s gone, rubbing my back in support. “Sunny, why don’t we go shower and get changed. He’ll come back when he’s ready.”
I nod my head, because he will. He needs time, and maybe I do, too.
I’ve showered, eaten both breakfast and lunch, and still, there’s no word from Wyatt. Becca’s texted me, so I know they’re still walking around the fairgrounds, but she isn’t saying much either. I don’t understand what’s gotten into the two of them, but the fact that they don’t want to be around us, hurts.
“Do you want to hang out a little longer?”
I glance at the time on my phone. “No, we have to get back. Is everything packed up?”
“Yeah, but you don’t have to rush. If you want to wait, that’s okay.”
Part of me wants to sit here all night until Wyatt comes back, but we have school tomorrow and at least a two hour drive ahead of us. “He’s not coming back. We can leave.”
I feel a familiar hand on my shoulder, and when I turn around, I see the remorseful eyes of my brother. “I’m sorry, Kinny.”
Rhett walks over to his truck and stands with Becca, the both of them giving us a little space to figure things out. “What took you so long?”
He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes the way it usually does. “What you said, the way you compared yourself to Becca, got me thinking.”
“How so?”
“I guess I always knew I liked her. I mean she’s been on my mind for over a year now, but when you said what you did, I realized just how much she means to me. And if you feel for Rhett half of what I feel for Becca, then who am I to stand in your way. I want you to be happy. We’re both young as shit, but sometimes when you know, you just know. Right?”
“When did you get so wise?”
“I’ve had a lot of help from my little sister,” he teases. “Becca and I are official.”
“Really! It’s about time. She told me you hooked up at homecoming, by the way.”
“It was more than that—always has been. We both knew it, but I think me being away might have been what helped us.” He’s quiet for a second, before he says, “Do you remember what Mom used to tell us before she passed?”
How could I forget. I can hear her voice, feel her hand on mine, and see her face like it was yesterday. “I’ll be seeing you when I fly away,” I whisper, remembering how many times she told us she’d always be there, always see us no matter how far away heaven was.
“Yeah,” he says. “Well, I thought about that, and no matter how far I am from Becca, I always feel her with me—just like Mom said. She’s in all my thoughts, and I feel like maybe it’s for a reason. Like maybe Mom sent Rhett and Becca to us so we wouldn’t be alone anymore.”
“I thought that, too. If she did, she picked two perfect choices.”
“I know she did. Fuck, I miss her, Kinny. I’m so mad at Dad, but I think I’m starting to understand a little bit of his pain. I thought it would get easier as time passed, but I still miss her as much now as I did back then—if not more.”
“I miss them both. Becca probably told you, but I thought I saw Dad at the game. And then I had a panic attack.”
“Do you get them a lot?”
“I used to, but not much anymore. Not since I’ve been with Rhett, but I don’t even know what I’d do if he came back, Wyatt. Part of me needs him to, yet I don’t want him to. I guess that’s my anger talking.”
“We have each other. Always remember that.”
“I will. I love you, Wyatt.” My big brother wraps me in his arms, and while I may not have the two people who are supposed to love and protect me most, I have the best big brother a girl could dream of.
“KINSLEY,” WAKE UP.
I open my eyes, and Carson’s staring back at me. Not even realizing I slept right through my alarm, I glance at my clock, shocked to see I slept twelve hours straight. “Shit, thanks for waking me.”
“You’re pretty late for school. Are you sick?”
I sit up, wiping the sleep from my eyes. “No, just tired.”
“You’ve been working too much. Why don’t you take some time off, I’ve barely seen you since Fall Fest and that was a month ago.”
Carson’s right. We haven’t had any of our usual couch conversations. We haven’t hung out at all really. With the holiday’s right around the corner, I’ve been working extra shifts at the diner to be able to afford presents. When I’m not at work, I’m usually with Rhett. I don’t even know what’s going on in my own sister’s life anymore. If she’s awake, I’m at school. When she’s at work, I’m home.
I slide out from under my warm blankets, shivering as soon as my feet hit the floor. “You’ve been back and forth to see Stacy a lot. You haven’t been home much either.” I don’t say it because I’m jealous, I say it because I don’t want him trying to make me feel guilty for spending my free time with Rhett instead of him.
“I go to the campus to see Wyatt, Kins.”
“Oh come on, you see her, too.”
“It’s hard not to. She’s practically his neighbor, but it’s not a big deal.”
Stacy bothers me, but it doesn’t bother me that they’re seeing each other—even if he swears it’s just casual fun and nothing official. “You can do way better than her, you know.” He stares at me, and I grab my towel off the back of my desk chair, holding it tightly against my chest.
“I know I can, but she
hasn’t come to her senses yet. There’s breakfast on the table when you’re finished.” He turns and walks out of my room, leaving my head spinning.
I shuffle into the bathroom, praying my headache and cramps are for a reason, but I’m not that lucky—I’m still late. My mind wants to panic, but I try to block out the possibility of being pregnant and focus on getting out of this house.
By the time I get to school, I already missed first period. I wait for Rhett outside our photography class, and when he sees me, he smiles, instantly making me forget about my possible problem. “You need to stop being late. That class isn’t as fun without you.”
He kisses me, and I wrap my arms around his waist, soaking up his warmth. “I’d still be sleeping if Carson hadn’t woken me up.”
Rubbing my back he says, “I hate that he got to see you before me, but I’m glad you’re here.”
“I guess I’ll see you at lunch.” I make no attempt to move or to unwrap my arms from Rhett’s body.
He chuckles and kisses the top of my head. “Are you planning on letting go of me, Sunny?”
“No. I’m good.”
He peels me off his body anyway, and turns around so I’m staring at his back. “Hop on.”
“You can’t be serious. We’ll get in trouble.”
“Says the girl who’s holding a tardy slip. Just get on me.”
I hop up and wrap my legs around him. He takes off, running down the hallway, weaving in and out of bodies that are all staring at us like we’ve lost our minds. If I wasn’t awake before, I am now. “Rhett, slow down!”
He doesn’t. Not until we’re in front of the locker room where he places me back on my feet again. “I gotta run, but I love you.”
Shaking my head, I laugh as he runs back the way we came, high fiving Jake on his way. “I love you, too,” I murmur to myself.
I change into my gym uniform and wait for Becca on the bench next to our gym lockers, but when the bell rings, and she’s still not there, I reluctantly go into the gym without her. The only reason I survive this class is because she’s in it. She wasn’t joking when she said Wyatt was the athlete of the family.