by Thea Dawson
“Over what edge?”
“He accused me of cheating on him. Said Rowan wasn’t his.” She stopped, as if unsure of what to say.
“Go on,” he said gently.
Somewhat to her surprise, she did. She had never shared the entire story to anyone, and saying the words out loud, though painful, was also a relief, as if she’d been holding her breath for over a year and was finally letting it out. It struck her as ironic that she was confiding in Richard, of all people. She could have poured her heart out to someone like Eva, Tracie, her mother, or even Merilee, and been assured of their sympathy and attention, but it was Richard’s stoic acceptance that made this easier. She didn’t want drama. She just wanted to a chance to tell her story.
“He’d been drinking a lot, and I kicked him out not long after I found out I was pregnant with Rowan. A few weeks after he was born, Brad called and begged to come over so we could talk. He said all the right things about missing the kids and wanting his family back, but when he showed up, I could tell he’d been drinking. I shouldn’t have let him in, but I did. At first he was quite sweet, and I actually thought maybe he meant it this time, but then Rowan started getting really fussy and wouldn’t stop crying. Brad started yelling at him then picked him up and started shaking him. I managed to take Rowan from him, but he slapped me, and I screamed at him that he had to leave.” Celia ran a hand through her hair and looked into the distance. “I think Lily heard that part. He left, which was good, but letting a drunk man get into his car ... I called the police, but not immediately.” She sighed. “It was lucky he didn’t kill anyone else.”
They both gazed out at the river. The last rays of sunlight glinted off its surface. “What about you?” she asked. “What happened with your wife?”
He took a deep breath and straightened up. “You know, I think I’d better be getting back to the studio. Peyton’s class will be over in a couple of minutes.”
“Oh. Sure.” Celia kept her voice even, but hurt shot through her. It was true that Peyton’s class would be over momentarily, but she hadn’t expected such an abrupt brush off. When would she learn not so share so much of herself with Richard? He’d told her straight out he had a hard time dealing with emotional situations.
But to her surprise, Richard went on. “Sorry,” he said, as if reading her mind. “I didn’t mean to sound so abrupt. My story’s not all that different from yours, to be honest. She changed. I blamed myself for not doing enough to keep her happy, and finally I realized that there wasn’t anything I could do. The details aren’t really important. Just …” he patted her arm clumsily. “Just remember it’s not your fault.”
“I will,” she said, now somewhat amused at his ungainly attempt to be supportive. “Thanks.” There was silence for a moment. “Well, I’m going to just keep going this way,” she said. “My house is only a few blocks.”
“Okay.” He looked intently in the direction of her house as if it could tell him what to say next. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you for walking with me.”
“Sure. See you tomorrow.”
He began walking back to the studio. She watched him go for a moment then turned and started home.
“See you, Celia!” Shanice gave a quick wave as she left which Celia returned. They had only one more live class before the semester was over, then a week to hand in work … and then her academic career would be over. It was both a relief to think that she could put it behind her as well as nerve-wracking to think she’d be on her own.
“Celia, can you stay for a moment? I want to talk to you about something.” Paul was standing nearby.
Celia was sliding her notebook back into her bag and paused. “Sure, Paul. What’s up?”
“I haven’t had a networking assignment from you yet,” he asked.
Celia shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. There’s a Chamber of Commerce meeting next Wednesday—”
“Good. I wanted to make sure you weren’t having a problem finding something. You should absolutely go to that, but I wanted to let you know that there’s an event on campus a week from Friday, and there will be some people there that I really think you should meet.”
“Really?” Celia was intrigued.
“Yes, in particular a friend of mine in the Publications department—they outsource a lot of design work, and they like to work with local people who can come in for meetings and presentations. But there will also be bigwigs from most of the colleges and departments there, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea to start getting yourself seen on campus. Public Affairs, the law school, the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences—they all have at least one full-time designer on staff. You never know when something will open up.”
“Sounds great.” Celia tried to hide her nervousness. “Will you be there?”
Paul nodded. “Yeah, I wasn’t involved with this grant they’re celebrating, but I get invited to these things anyway. Meet me at 7 p.m. on the west end of the Quad and we’ll go together.” He winked at her. “That way we can miss the speeches.”
That would mean three nights out in one week—Celia wondered guiltily if Tracie would be okay looking after the kids that often and decided to offer to pay her. It didn’t feel like feeding the animals once or twice a month really compensated. “Okay, thank you.”
“No worries. You can do the assignment on either that or the Chamber of Commerce thing. Just be sure I get it from you no later than the 16th, okay?”
“Gotcha,” she promised.
Paul gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder and left her to pack up her notebooks and leave for home.
18
There was a small playground within about a five-minute walk from Richard’s house. Peyton and Lily had begun begging to play there long before Celia was willing to brave the cold and the wet, but as the weather got nicer, she couldn’t resist their pleas any longer. Today, once homework was finished, Celia suggested that they go to the park. Lily, Peyton and Rosie cheered, and Rowan, aware that something exciting was happening, clapped his hands and shouted incoherently.
After a quick text to Richard to tell him where they would be, she shooed them all out of the house, turning on the alarm and locking the door behind her. She pulled the stroller out of the trunk of her car and plopped Rowan in it, and they walked toward the park. It was a beautiful day, warm and sunny. Celia inhaled the fresh scent of spring and relished the feel of the sun on her face and arms.
The playground itself consisted of a climbing structure, a swing set and small merry-go-round. With screams of delight, the three girls took off for the merry-go-round. Rowan stretched out his arms toward them, but Celia put him in one of the bucket swings instead to distract him. To hear Lily’s and Peyton’s delighted yells, she might have thought they’d never seen a playground before. Rowan added to the cacophony with a shout of delight every time she gave him a push. Gorgeous weather, happy kids—what a perfect afternoon.
“Well, hello,” came a voice nearby.
Richard’s neighbor Marcie stood nearby, the Chihuahua still on its leash beside her. Marcie was dressed for the weather in linen slacks and a stylish striped t-shirt. The Chihuahua had exchanged its heavy winter coat for a lightweight pink jacket, but it still shivered slightly at Marcie’s feet.
Celia felt her smile freeze in place. “Oh, hello, Marcie. How are you?”
“I’m fine. I take it you’re still looking after Peyton in the afternoons?” Marcie’s expression was a blend of sincere curiosity and insincere concern.
“Yep.” Celia gave Rowan’s swing another push.
“And that’s going okay?” Marcie tipped her head forward as if expressing condolences.
“Yes, everything’s fine.”
“I saw your car parked in his driveway overnight a few weeks ago.” Marcie’s barracuda-like smile grew wider.
Celia’s jaw tightened but she managed to keep her voice polite. “Richard was out of town for a couple of days, so I stayed over to look after Peyton.”
Celia didn’t bother to reply, hoping that Marcie and her silly little dog would move along if she didn’t encourage her. If Marcie had noticed her car, she was probably just as likely to have noticed that Richard’s was parked beside it on the second night. Prolonging the conversation could only lead to awkwardness.
After waiting a moment for Celia to say something, Marcie went on. “I think I warned you that man has quite a temper, so I do hope you’re being careful. They actually had the police over at least once before poor Melanie finally left.” She lowered her voice confidentially. “Domestic violence.”
Celia glanced at her sharply. Didn’t this woman have anything better to do than bad-mouth her neighbors? But Marcie’s words had sent a thrill of curiosity and apprehension through her. Richard, for all his faults, didn’t seem like the type to beat his wife ... but then, she thought, her heart sinking, once upon a time, Brad hadn’t either.
“Well, like I said, I just look after Peyton a few afternoons a week. I really don’t know him all that well.” She graced Marcie with an insincere smile of her own.
Marcie went on as if she hadn’t spoken. “I don’t think Melanie ever pressed charges, though she should have.” Marcie nodded firmly, as if agreeing with herself. “Anyway, if you ever need anything, anything at all, remember, my house is the red one just down the street from Richard’s.”
Marcie gave her a knowing look, as if it were only a matter of time before Celia washed up on her doorstep, fleeing some horrible situation at Richard’s house.
Celia was pretty sure that nothing short of nuclear weapons would induce her to seek help from Marcie, but she simply gave a curt nod. “Thanks. I’ll remember that.”
“Well, it was lovely to see you again, Celia.” Marcie made a clucking noise at the chihuahua, who leapt to attention. “Now that the weather’s getting so nice, I’m sure I’ll see you around more.”
Celia gave her a little wave in between pushes and gritted her teeth, “I certainly hope not,” she muttered once Marcie was out of earshot.
But aggravatingly, the woman had piqued her curiosity. She hated herself for wanting to know more, but Marcie seemed to have an unerring instinct for pushing her buttons.
The police? Domestic violence?
What on earth had actually happened?
“I was wondering what your schedule looks like over the summer. I may need some help with Peyton,” Richard asked as he walked through the door.
It was now light out when Richard got home in the evenings. Soon it would be time to get the AC going. Celia thought with some trepidation about her own house, which was almost as hard to cool as it was to heat. All four kids were outside on the play structure, Lily and Peyton having been given strict instructions to keep an eye on Rowan.
Celia rinsed off a cutting board she’d just been using and put it in the dish rack to dry. “We had a lovely day, thanks. And you?” she responded.
Richard’s expression was a blend of annoyance and amusement. “Hello, I’m home. How was your day?”
She grinned. “No real plans outside of work. I thought you had your summers off?”
“Sometimes you’re hard to keep up with,” Richard grumbled.
He took off his jacket and started to loosen his tie. She had to look away and pretend she was wiping something off the counter before her imagination could take over.
“Anyway, yes, I get most of the summer off, but not as much as Peyton does, and I’ll be making at least three trips out to San Francisco. I could use some back up.”
“I’m sure we can make it work.” She kept her voice light, though the mention of San Francisco had flooded her mind with unbidden visuals of what had happened after his last business trip. “But—elephant in the room alert—are you remembering that you were supposed to find a replacement for me by now? I mean, I don’t want to leave you in the lurch, but your friend Susan is keeping me pretty busy, and I picked up a new client the other day thanks to Eva.”
“Damn Susan. I should never have introduced you to her,” he grumbled.
She hoped he was joking and decided to assume he was. “Well, I’m glad you did, but between design work, the Co-op, and you, I’m really pushed to the limits.”
He sat down wearily in one of the kitchen chairs. “So, you’re still thinking about quitting?”
She put her hands on her hips and looked at him, exasperated but with the ghost of a smile on her lips. “Richard, I already quit. Remember? You’re supposed to be looking for a replacement?”
He frowned petulantly at her. “Why don’t you just quit the Co-op instead? Looking after Peyton can’t be as hard as that.”
She suppressed a groan of frustration. I never slept with my manager at the Co-op! she wanted to say. But did it even really matter anymore? She was still attracted to Richard and memories of their night together replayed themselves every time she laid eyes on him, but the worst of the awkwardness had faded. They weren’t exactly friends—she sensed that he liked her and trusted her, but he still kept her at a distance—but they were friendly. She wasn’t sure if his reluctance to find a new nanny sprang from his genuine reliance on her, or from a twisted sense of obligation, or maybe even from an arrogant assumption that she hadn’t really meant it when she’d tried to quit.
Knowing him, it could have been any or all of those.
And he had a point. The Co-op was tiring and tedious; looking after Peyton was pleasant and peaceful. It was probably high time she at least cut back her hours at the grocery store.
“Graduation’s coming up, and school will be out in just a couple of weeks. Just see us through the end of the year,” Richard pleaded. “I’ll figure something out for the summer.”
He looked up at her appealingly, his brown eyes unusually humble.
It was impossible for her to say no.
When she picked up Peyton and Lily the following Monday, Peyton had news. “Celia, guess what! Angel’s coming back!”
“Angel?” Celia blinked in recognition of the name. “Your nanny from last year?”
Celia saw Peyton in the review mirror, nodding vigorously. “Yeah, she’s coming back and we’re going to see her tomorrow after riding class. Daddy thought it would be nice if you met each other. Maybe we can all go to the park together.” She turned to Lily. “You’re going to like her so much. She’s really nice and funny and she looks like Beyoncé!”
Celia gripped the steering wheel a little harder, a curiously numb feeling settling over her. Angel was back.
Which was a good thing, of course. Finally, Richard had gotten around to finding a new nanny. Now Peyton would be in good hands, and Celia would be free to move on, both emotionally and professionally, with more time on her hands and without having to make awkward small talk with Richard four evenings a week. But instead of feeling relieved or happy, she just felt … nothing.
Richard was barely through the door that evening when Peyton launched herself at him like a guided missile. “I told Lily and Rosie and Celia all about Angel and they can’t wait to meet her!” she declared.
“Yeah, we’ve heard a lot about her. It’s great that she was able to come back,” Celia hoped her voice didn’t sound as flat to Richard as it sounded to her.
“You’ll like her, she’s very sweet.” Richard, on the other hand sounded happy, and Celia felt a twinge of jealousy. “I know you’ve got riding tomorrow, but I thought maybe she could meet you all at the park after that?”
Celia shrugged. “Sure. Weather’s supposed to be gorgeous. We’ll go there straight from the stables.”
Richard smiled, looking more relaxed and cheerful than she’d ever seen him. The twinge of jealousy grew a bit stronger. “Thanks, he said. “I knew you’d understand.”
Angel met them at the park the next day about ten minutes after they’d arrived. As soon as she saw her walking toward them, Peyton began running. She launch
ed herself into Angel’s arms and Angel spun her around, laughing. When she put her down, Peyton pulled her over to Celia to introduce them.
Angel was shorter and more angular than Beyoncé, but actually did look a little like her. She had pale brown skin, large dark brown eyes set off with false lashes, and long wavy blonde hair with deliberately dark roots. She wore a denim jacket over a tank top and shorts. Her long, bare legs caused Celia a twinge of envy which was forgotten as soon as Angel stretched her hand out and smiled at her. Angel was one of those people who was immediately and unforgettably likable, and Celia found herself smiling warmly back at her.
“I’m Angel Mendez. You must be Celia. It’s so nice to meet you. Richard’s said great things about you.”
“He’s said wonderful things about you, too. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
They’d barely had a chance to shake hands when Peyton pulled Angel toward the play structure, Lily trailing shyly but enthusiastically a step behind. Celia followed with Rosie and Rowan.
She kept a close eye on Rowan who attempted to elude her grasp and climb to the higher levels of the play structure while Angel pushed Rosie, Lily and Peyton on the swings. When Celia grabbed Rowan for the third time before he could climb up another flight, he burst into tears.
“C’mon, Ro. You need a snack and a rest.” Celia moved back to the bench where she’d parked the stroller and dug a bottle out of her tote bag. Rowan fussed for a moment, then took it and curled up on her lap. Angel came over and sat down beside her a few minutes later.
Celia glanced up; Lily and Peyton were still playing with Rosie on the play structure.
“Was he feeling left out?” Angel looked at Rowan sympathetically.