Once again, he hesitated before speaking.
“Special client?” he guessed, curling his hands around the mug of coffee.
“A-list actors in a private ceremony.” She sighed. “It wasn’t about money or prestige. Both actors were and are close personal friends of mine. The wedding had been planned for a year in advance and I had committed to shooting it well before the twins were even conceived, never mind born. In any other circumstances, I would have excused myself from the shoot and found another photographer to take my place for them.”
“That probably wouldn’t have been a good move for your career, though, right? You wouldn’t want to be seen to be reneging on your obligations,” he said drily.
She couldn’t tell whether he was beginning to see her side of the story or whether he was trying to coax her into digging herself deeper into the muck of remorse and shame. Not that it mattered either way.
“Maybe. I had a reputation for being especially trustworthy. But I would have survived, even if my career took a hit. As it is, now that I’m stepping into my new role as Harper and Hudson’s mother, my celebrity photography days are history, anyway. So in the long run, it didn’t really matter.”
She felt slightly nostalgic at the admission, but surprisingly not sad or regretful. She’d left celebrity photography in the past, where she now knew it permanently belonged. How could it be otherwise?
It didn’t matter if she’d made the decision to forage into the realm of motherhood unaided by circumstance, or whether she’d been thrust into the role by a tragedy. She had done everything she’d desired to do in her career, and it was time to come home. Hudson and Harper’s guardianship had simply given her a push in the right direction.
Home.
“This must be a jarring change for you, going from the lifestyle you’ve been leading to living in a guest cabin on your brother’s ranch.”
Again, she felt as if he was probing for answers beneath the surface and possibly trying to trip her up.
She shook her head. “Don’t forget I grew up here. It’s not that much of a culture shock for me to return to my roots.”
And if it was, she most certainly wasn’t going to admit that to Simon. She still had the feeling he was pushing her to justify the decisions she’d now made, just as she had put it all out there about her past and admitted her mistakes.
Well, her decisions were her own, and none of his business.
“You said you want to be a special part of the twins’ lives. What, exactly, does that look like?”
She tensed for the answer. She didn’t trust him as far as she could throw him, which wouldn’t be far, big lug that he was. And she suspected he didn’t trust her, either.
“Exactly?” he echoed. “I don’t know. You let me in to your life. I let you in to mine. Maybe we can do things once in a while. With the twins, I mean.”
He cringed. He literally, actually cringed, enough that Miranda could see it in his expression. Was he looking for reassurance that the twins were safe and loved with her? And was it really that distasteful for him to consider spending time with her?
He was certainly no picnic, either.
She narrowed her gaze on him.
“Like what?” she asked warily.
“Take them to the playground. Attend community events together. Maybe have them come meet my puppies. Simple country living.”
If that was all it was—and if Simon was really serious about this...
The twins could use another good male role model in their lives. Emphasis on good.
If Simon started acting like a jerk, this arrangement stopped.
“I accept.”
“Simple country living,” he repeated, appearing surprised that she’d relented so easily.
“Yeah. I got that,” she said sardonically.
“You won’t miss your old life? The parties? The society? The dazzle?”
The truth was, she was tired of the limelight. Even being the one behind the camera, every aspect of her life was exposed to the public eye. A nice, quiet cabin on a remote Texas ranch didn’t sound so bad.
Okay, so maybe not quiet, what with two babies who made their needs known loud and clear at all hours of the day and night. But private, in any case.
She stared at him for a moment, trying to read his expression, but he did a good job concealing his thoughts.
“I suppose I won’t have many opportunities to wear any of the glitzy cocktail dresses I’ve accumulated, but I can still tote around my designer purses. I’ll have the best-dressed diaper bag in town,” she joked.
He didn’t laugh. He didn’t even crack a smile.
He didn’t think she was good enough to be Harper and Hudson’s guardian.
Well, join the club, buster.
He was going to have to stand in line to claim that particular conclusion, because she’d already tried that one on for size, and unfortunately, it fit.
She sighed wearily. “Look. I get why you’re concerned. I don’t know why Mary chose me to be the twins’ guardian. I only know she did, and I’m going to do the very best I can with what I’ve been given.”
His lips were pressed into a straight line and his expression didn’t give anything away. She half expected him to tell her to give up now. That was what he was here for, wasn’t it? To bully her?
She might not have as much confidence in her maternal abilities as she would like, but if he was going to press her, she would push right back. She wasn’t a vulnerable teenager anymore.
She wouldn’t let herself be trod upon by Simon, or by any other man. It had happened once, in Los Angeles. It would never happen again.
Her words were brave, but in the deepest recesses of her heart, the question continued to nag at her.
Could a woman like her really learn to be a mother?
Copyright © 2017 by Debra Kastner
ISBN-13: 9781488078941
The Deputy’s Holiday Family
Copyright © 2017 by Melinda Obenhaus
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