"So, um. Brock and Claire, I'm guessing you two already know, but, uh, Mara--" I swallowed hard, because saying it like this, in this setting, was a lot harder than I thought it'd be. "Mara's pregnant."
There was a stunned silence.
"Holy shit," Bax said, eying me. "So...is this a congratulations thing, or is this a disaster mitigation planning thing?"
"I think it's a congratulations thing," I answered. "I think I'm still sort of--"
"In shock?" Canaan suggested.
"Stupefied?" Corin said at the same time.
"Gobsmacked?" Canaan.
"Stunned stupid?" Corin.
"Blindsided?" Canaan.
"Flabbergasted?" Corin.
"Enough, you two!" I shouted. "Yes, it's safe to say I'm a little surprised."
Dru set her feet on the coffee table, ankles crossed, her calves resting against my shoulder. "Does this mean I get a sister?"
"I'm not sure what it means, yet." I patted her legs. "But I'm hoping so, yes."
"Well...you're going to be together, right?" Claire asked, her tone sharp.
"That's the idea, yes," I said between sips of coffee. "I just...we're not quite sure of the logistics yet."
"What's the hang up?" Bax asked. "You like her, she likes you, you made a kid together...what is there to figure out?"
I snorted a laugh. "Everything, you big dumb lummox. She just got a brand new job in Seattle, and I can't exactly just pick up and move down there. Dad's will stipulations won't let me, and I don't think I could leave you guys right now anyway."
"Awww, he really likes us," Bax quipped. "But for real, though, it's not like you can do a long distance thing seeing as she's gonna pop out a kid in a few months."
"Now you see the issue," I said. "It's not exactly simple."
Brock shot me a look. "I'm gonna be going back and forth to Seattle pretty frequently to see Claire and to bring her here, so you're welcome to come along, and I'll bring Mara up whenever, too. It'd be helpful to have some help with the cost of the fuel since that shit ain't cheap."
"That'll work in the interim," I said, "but we gotta figure out a way to be together full time. I don't know shit about pregnancy, but I do know there's a lot of appointments and stuff, and I'm not gonna miss those."
"Meaning, she has to find a way to move up here," Bax said.
I nodded. "Yeah, but I can't expect her to just...uproot herself."
"And, just saying, since I know Mara best, she can't not work," Claire said. "She's way too restless for that. She's taken care of herself her whole life, so she's not gonna just sit around eating bon bons. And nothing against you guys or your bar, but there's not a snowball's chance in hell she's gonna work here. She had to wait tables in high school and she absolutely hated it."
Lucian piped up for the first time. "What's her degree and experience in?"
Claire glanced at Lucian. "Her degree is in business, with a minor in communications, plus she has a military nursing license, but I'm not sure how that transfers into civilian licensing, since neither of us were interested in the medical field once we got our walking papers. Most of her civilian experience is in HR." She crinkled her forehead. "Why do you ask?"
Lucian shrugged, setting his book face down on his thigh. "One of the regulars was telling me that he was thinking about putting an ad out for a position at his firm."
"What's his firm do?" Claire asked. "And what's the position?"
"It's a marketing firm," Lucian said. "I guess it's new and it's expanding fast. He's in dire need of someone to run his office so he can focus on the actual accounts. Right now it's just him and his cousin, who's also his business partner. They're trying to run the accounts and manage the office at the same time."
"She's third from the top in the HR department at a huge tech company, and making close to six figures," Claire said. "It'd be a massive step backward for her to take a job as the office manager of some rinky-dink marketing firm in Ketchikan, Alaska."
Lucian didn't answer immediately. "It was just a thought," he said, his voice quiet.
Claire sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insult you or your friend's company, or Ketchikan. I love it here, honestly. But what I said is true. I mean, I can't speak for Mara, but--"
"We're all kind of trying to speak for Mara and make plans for her," I said. "I think we need to just take this one step at a time. Lucian, thank you for the suggestion. I'll pass it on to Mara."
Lucian nodded and went back to his book.
I glanced around the room, realizing everyone was still eyeing me expectantly. "I'm done talking about this for now. I need to process things. I literally just found out my entire life is changing, and I'm not really ready to hash it all out right here, right now." I reached up and snatched a controller from Corin. "Now, how do you play this game?"
It was eleven thirty that night, and I was behind the bar with Bast, slinging booze to a crowded bar. We'd been slammed all evening, to the point that there really wasn't much opportunity for anything but work. I'd seen Mara briefly a couple hours before, but she'd been on the way out the door with Claire and Dru. She'd given me a quick kiss and explained that they were going to find somewhere quiet to have girl talk.
Now, though, the bar was starting to die down a little, leaving Bast and I time to lean back and breathe. Time for Bast to give me a look that hinted at questions to follow.
"Never in a million years did I think you'd be the first of us to be a daddy," he said.
I laughed. "Never in a million years did I think any of us would be parents."
"But yet here you are, with a pregnant girlfriend."
I poured a shot of bourbon for each of us. "Here I am, with a pregnant girlfriend."
Bast clinked his glass against mine, downed his shot, and poured another for us both. "So."
I took my glass, eyeing my older brother. "So."
"You love her?"
I slammed back the shot and then tossed the shot glass into the sink. "Yes."
"You're sure?" He crossed his arms over his chest and glared hard at me. "Don't hook into this because you think you have to. You can take care of your responsibility to her and the kid without trying to make something work neither of you are sure about."
I nodded. "I'm sure. I mean, I have no clue what the fuck I'm gonna do, but I'm sure I love her. It's not just about the kid. I haven't even really processed that as a reality yet. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to be in a relationship."
A trio of young girls angled up to the bar and Sebastian leaned forward on his forearms, shooting them his trademark sexy bartender grin. They tittered and bent over to offer him a look down their low-cut blouses, but he didn't even glance that way. Getting the message, they ordered chocolate martinis and left a nice cash tip when he handed them their drinks.
He wiped the stupid grin off his face, stuffing the tip into the jar. "It's complicated, being in a relationship. But it's also a lot easier than you'd think."
I eyed him. "That makes no sense."
He shrugged. "It does, though. You gotta be thinking about her all the time. It takes some adjustment. Like, you wanna go somewhere, go hit up a bar for drinks, or take a ride, or sleep in, or hit up downtown for breakfast, you gotta think about her. Everything you do affects her. It's not just you anymore. She'll want you to do shit you won't want to do, tell you what to wear, nag about the fuckin' toilet seat, all that bullshit, and it's all exactly that, just bullshit. Being around someone all day, every day, putting her first, in everything...that's the part that's harder."
I snickered. "Been married two months and suddenly you're a relationship expert?"
"We've been living together for six months, so I'm farther ahead than you, asshole."
I acceded his point with a shrug and a nod. "I guess you're right. You make it sound like it's...easy, though. Like, what the fuck have I been afraid of all this time?"
He bobbed his head side to side. "I was as committed to casual, no-
strings sex same as you, if not more. That shit was my life, Zane. But then Dru appeared and everything just...changed. It's not like suddenly I understood relationships or had this come to Jesus moment about the sanctity of sex or some shit. The change was Dru. I can't fathom being in a relationship with anyone else. I didn't want one in the first place, but I couldn't not be with her. It was just this...it's a need, man. Remember when I said the only way you'll know is if you know? Well, if what I just said makes any sense to you at all, then you know." He hissed in frustration. "Shit, I don't know how to put it any better than that."
"No, dude, that makes perfect sense, now."
He grinned at me. "But once you're in it for a while, there is this moment like holy shit, what was I so scared about? This relationship shit ain't so bad after all."
"How so?"
"I grew up taking care of you guys and myself, right? So I can cook, I can clean, I can do laundry, all that shit. I did it for all of you guys and Dad after Mom died, and I kept doing it until Xavier left for Stanford, and I kept doing it for myself. So, I'm not this asshole gorilla who thinks women belong in the kitchen. But having a woman around all the time? It's amazing. I mean, the shit she thinks of, it's just all this stuff I'd have never even considered."
"Like the way she organized the kitchen?" I said, thinking about how much more neat and organized and sensible the kitchen was, now that Dru lived with us.
"Or the laundry? I mean you and Xavier do your own, but she folds my things different, and I don't even know how or why, but the clothes are just...softer, and smell better."
I laughed. "That's called better detergent and fabric softener, doofus."
He rolled his eyes. "You know what I'm talking about, fucker."
"I've gotta admit, I love the food she buys. Like, I'd have never even thought about it, but she stocks all this food for actual meals, not just, like, fuckin' burgers and cold cuts and mac 'n cheese and shit. Like, we can make fuckin' chili and pasta and baked chicken and shit."
"That's what I'm saying! She just makes things better, and she's not even trying. It's just how she does life." He nudged me. "And getting to go to bed at night with her? And waking up next to her every morning? I'm not even talking about sex, I just mean going to bed and waking up with her. I wake up happier every single morning just because she's there, because I get to have my arms around her all night."
I nodded. "A few months ago I would have ripped you to pieces for that mushy bullshit, but now?" I tapped the bar, thinking of the nights I'd spent with Mara. "I get it, now."
"There's nothing like it, is there?"
I shook my head. "There really isn't."
The women came back at that moment, all three with their arms linked together, cackling like a pack of hyenas. Brock, who was on the floor tonight, stood at the service bar, staring at the women just like Bast and I were.
"That's a hell of a sight, ain't it boys?" he asked.
Bast and I glanced at him.
"You got that right, brother," I said, and then laughed as a thought hit me. "You know, guys, if things keep going like this, we're gonna have to think about expanding our living situation. There ain't no way eight couples are all gonna fit into two little apartments."
Brock gave me a look. "Damn, son, you might be on to something." He grinned. "Especially you, with a baby on the way."
I nodded. "That's what I'm saying." I jerked a thumb at Bast. "I can't imagine it'll be too much longer before this guy is making his own announcement."
Bast held up his hands. "Whoa, man, don't go jinxing me. I just got married, I'm not ready for that yet."
"Yeah, neither am I, but here I am."
Brock snickered at me. "What, didn't Bast give you the talk about how babies are made? You see, when a man and woman really like each other--"
I threw a lime slice at his face, nailing him dead center between the eyes. "Shut up, fucker. And besides, I wouldn't mock too much, since you could be next on the surprise-I'm-a-daddy-train."
Brock's eyes widened. "Hey, don't jinx me either. Just because you rode bareback doesn't mean I'm going to."
"You can't try and tell me you guys haven't been tempted." I looked at him and then Bast.
"He has a point, Brock," Bast said.
Brock groaned. "I know, I know. And actually, if you want real honesty, we have. Once. The first time I went up to see her, after like a week without her? We couldn't wait, and neither of us had anything, so we just..."
I lifted an eyebrow. "And that, brother, is how babies are made."
Brock rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, no shit. Bareback is damned addictive."
"Sure as hell is," Bast agreed.
When we both glanced at him in surprise, he just stared back at us.
"What? We're married. We may not be actively trying for one, but if Dru does get pregnant...honestly, I'd be happy. Scared shitless, but happy." He shrugged. "We had a moment a few months ago where we thought she was pregnant, but it was a false alarm. That made me think about things, though, and I realized I wouldn't mind if she got pregnant."
The women had clustered around us at that point, and Dru reached across the bar, grabbed her husband by shirt and hauled him in for a kiss. "You'd be happier than a pig in shit if I was to get pregnant, you big macho fuckstick," she said. "You know you want a baby girl."
"Yeah, true," Bast said as she released him. "But, babe, I've never even held a baby before," he said.
Dru tapped his nose. "It's easy. You just don't drop it and don't squeeze too hard."
Bast chuckled. "Well, yeah, that much I know. It's the rest I'm not sure about. Changing diapers and making bottles and all that shit? And what about when the kid starts talking back? I mean, how do you go about raising a human being so they're not a complete fuckup?"
My heart was racing as Bast talked. "Those are all pretty pertinent questions, I'd say." I eyed my older brother. "You took care of us all, so you've got some experience."
Bast shrugged. "I kept you from starving and made sure you went to school. Barely counts."
I shook my head. "No, man, it was more than that. You took care of us. None of us have forgotten that."
Mara cut in, quietly. "None of you boys have anything to worry about. You're sweet, caring men. You'll take care of us, and when you become fathers, you'll be amazing at that, too." She kept her gaze on me. "All of us are proof that life isn't ever perfect, and parents aren't perfect, and things happen. My dad wasn't necessarily a good father or even a good person, but he did his best to love me, and I think I turned out okay. Same with my mom. Just do your best. That's all there really is, I'd say."
"Now that's damn truth," Claire said. "Love is all you need."
Canaan and Corin, who'd snuck up at some point, started singing The Beatles song Claire had unwittingly referenced, getting laughter from everyone.
Bast slugged my shoulder. "I've got closing. Get out of here. Be with your girl."
I glanced at him. "You're sure?"
He snorted at me. "Bitch, I worked open to close by myself every single day for years. I got this."
I ducked under the service bar and went upstairs with Mara. We didn't talk. We didn't say a word, in fact. The second we got into my room, we closed the door, locked it, and stripped each other naked in record time.
We didn't say a word as I lowered her to the bed, kissed every inch of her body, and then slowly slid bare inside her. Nor did we speak as we moved together in perfect synch, breathing mated, lips touching now and again, hips meeting and parting in a slow, fierce rhythm.
We drew it out, held off our climax until we couldn't wait any longer. Mara trembled beneath me, her thighs wrapped around my waist, her hands cupped around the back of my head to pull me closer, to clutch me into a kiss.
I felt her orgasm burst through her, felt it in the trembling grip of her fingers, in the crushing squeeze of her thighs, in the clamping tightness of her channel around me, and I lost myself then, giving in to the
climax, pouring myself into her.
We came together, our eyes locked, groaning in unison.
"God, I love you, Amarantha," I whispered as I quaked and thrusted through my climax.
She sobbed against my shoulder, clinging tightly to me. "Zane...god, Zane. I love you."
I lost track, then, of how many times we breathed that phrase to each other, over and over and over again that night, into dawn, until we collapsed together, exhausted and sated and deliriously happy.
Chapter 14
Mara
"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Claire asked, for the tenth time. "I mean, I know you love the man and all, but this is a big step."
For the second time in three months, I was packing my life into boxes. I had ten full size moving boxes already packed and taped, and was working on the last one. My clothes were in suitcases and giant black contractor bags and I was leaving Claire all my furniture, so everything should fit nicely into the cargo hold of Brock's seaplane.
I sighed and stuffed the last newspaper wrapped mug into the box. "Yes, Claire. For the ninety-five thousandth time. I'm absolutely, positively, unequivocally sure I'm ready to move in with Zane. It's long past time. This past month has been hellish, only seeing him on the weekends or whenever Brock can make it down here." I folded the flaps in and rolled the packing tape across the middle of the box and then along the opposite edges. "And besides, Seattle never really felt like home. I mean, you feel like home, but Seattle doesn't. That job wasn't right for me either. They would have wanted me to advance, and eventually I would've been a department head or something, and maybe once upon a time that would have been what I wanted, but it's just not anymore."
"So what are you going to do in Ketchikan? Play housewife?"
I shrugged, not quite able to look at Claire. "Yeah, I guess."
Claire sighed and slumped down to sit cross-legged next to me. "I'm sorry, honey. That was a bitchy thing to say." She sniffled. "It's just that...I just got you back. And this whole thing with Zane feels fast, and--I'm gonna miss you, and..."
I hugged her to me. "Listen, whore. You're gonna see me like every week. You're dating Zane's brother, remember? Who also lives in Ketchikan? Something tells me we'll see each other more this way than if we lived together, especially with the weird-ass hours you keep."
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