by Unknown
she asked, holding up their linked hands.
I dont know, he said with a curious tilt of his head. But it feels
right, doesnt it? Look, why dont you tell me whats really
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bothering you about being seen with me. Are you afraid of people
talking?
Yes and no. You dont understand because you havent been
here long enough, but those popular people have something
against me, and some of them go out of their way to be mean to
me. Ive never fit in with them.
And you never will, he told her seriously. No matter where you
go you are going to be different, Helen. Its about time you got used
to it.
I am used to it! Ive had my whole life to get used to it! she exclaimed
as they drove into the school parking lot.
Good. Now stop freaking out and listen for a sec. Those guys
werent staring at us because they hate you. They were staring at us
because they couldnt figure out how the hell I convinced a girl who
tried to strangle me the other week to get in my car and go out for
coffee.
Oh, yeah. I forgot about that, Helen said to the ground, getting
out of the car. She tossed her bag over her shoulder.
And Id like to go back to forgetting about it. If we never talk
about trying to kill each other again, it would be fine with me, Lucas
said quietly. He took her hand firmly in his and pulled her up
against him so that her shoulder was touching his arm as they
walked into school.
Everyone was staring. The halls were lined with blank faces and
slack jaws as conversations were momentarily halted and then continued
twice as loud when Helen and Lucas passed. Helen tried to
pull her hand out of Lucass, but he resisted at first. Finally, he let
go when he realized that Helen was not just being modest, she was
about to panic.
Lennie? Claire called out warily. Helen smiled briefly at Lucas
and veered in Claires direction.
Where were you all weekend? Claire asked, eyeing Lucas
suspiciously.
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Did you try to call me? Helen asked, grateful for an excuse to
pry herself away from Lucas and hopefully away from all the
stares.
Like, five times. What happened to you?
My phone broke, Helen said apologetically. Then she turned to
Lucas. I have to stop at my locker before homeroom. Thanks for
the ride, she told him bluntly.
Okay. Ill see you later then, he said, accepting his dismissal as
gracefully as he could. When he was no more than three steps
away, Claire grabbed Helens arm and dragged her toward her
locker.
What the holy hand grenade was that? Claire practically
shouted. Helen shushed her as she wrestled with her locker
combination.
We had a long talk, Helen said quickly. We dont hate each
other anymore.
A talk? Yeah, right. Im sure tongues were involved but for some
reason I dont think much language was used. Claire looked angry,
but Helen was suddenly angrier.
Stop it, Claire! I mean it! I had a really rough weekend. Im sorry
I didnt think to call you last night but my father was pissed at me
for leaving him stranded at the airport.
Well, tell me about it now then! Claire replied defensively. Not
like you have to say anything. Everyone can see that you and Lucas
are suddenly a couple.
I dont know what we are, but its not something I can sum up
with an easy label like couple, okay? Stressed, Helen shuffled
through her books and realized that she hadnt done any of her
homework.
Why cant you just be honest with me? You slept with him,
Claire accused her. Her eyes were hurt. Helen knew she couldnt
shut her out entirely.
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Honestly? I did sleep with him. Twice. But not the way you
think, she said frankly. She turned Claire around and steered
them both to Hergies. Weve never even kissed.
Rubbish! Claire declared, stopping dead in the middle of the
hall.
Ask him yourself. Youve got classes with him all day, Helen responded,
perfectly serious. The bell rang and they both had to run
the last few steps to make it through the door before Hergie closed
it.
Helen had a terrible morning. Several teachers considered giving
her detention for not doing her homework and every single girl in
school was furious with her for getting a ride with Lucas. Helens
relationships with the girls in her class had always been strained.
For years shed gone out of her way to be nice to them, but shed finally
given up when she noticed that if she kept her head down and
her mouth shut she could slide under the radar.
That was all over now that she had been seen coming to school
with Lucas. She had crossed some sort of imaginary line, broken
the truce that she had entered into by refusing to compete, and
theyd declared war on her. All day long, Helen found that if she
looked anywhere but at the board or her desk she was shot nasty
looks. To top everything else off, Gretchen was whispering vicious
rumors about Helen to anyone who would listen, and Claire was
still upset.
Helen couldnt help but smile with relief when she saw Lucas at
his locker before lunch. He seemed to be the only person in the entire
school who would smile back at her.
So you like me again, huh? he said as she made her way toward
him.
Not you too, Helen moaned. Is there a sign on my back that
says kick me?
Its just gossip, Helen. It cant hurt us, he said, wisely deciding
not to tease her anymore.
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Maybe it cant hurt you, Helen muttered. She put a hand on her
belly. Lucas saw her do it and was just about to ask what was
wrong when Hector and Jason joined them.
Your moms here, Jason told Lucas, who nodded as though he
was expecting her.
Whats wrong? Helen asked.
Nothing. Were meeting with the principal because my mom is
going to try and talk our way back on to the football team, Lucas
explained.
Shes playing the have pity on a poor little woman raising so
many gigantic boys card and then shell beg them to let us beat up
kids from other schools instead of each other. All to the benefit of
Nantucket High, of course, Jason said with a grin. It never fails.
Shes like the Einstein of guilt.
But should you three be allowed to play football? Helen said
with a disapproving frown. I mean, you all have an unfair
advantage.
Keep talking, track star, Hector replied with a little heat.
Helen runs because she needs a scholarship for college, Lucas
said, shooting Hector a warning glance. We play sports because
its expected of us. Its annoying, actually, because we have to pretend
to be
unbearably weak and slow.
And we spend as much time making sure no one gets hurt as we
do playing, added Jason with a rueful smile. The truth is wed
much rather be beating each other up than pretending to beat up
mortals, but that wouldnt look normal at all.
Well, good luck on the whole looking-normal thing, Helen said
briskly, stepping aside to let Jason and Hector go past her.
Ill find you after school, Lucas promised her as he followed his
cousins. He glanced back and gave her a concerned look. Helen
tried to smile for him, but her expression was so phony she
wondered if Lucas could feel the lie in it.
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Helen slouched into the cafeteria, hoping to duck across the
room without attracting too much attention. She saw Gretchen say
something to Amy Heart and then the whole table of cheerleaders
started laughing mockingly at Helen. It took Helen far too long to
recover, and by the time she got herself oriented, everyone in the
cafeteria was staring at her. She retreated to her usual table with
Matt and Claire, sure she could feel a cramp coming on.
Would you please just stand up straight! Claire barked at her.
Theres nothing more pathetic than watching you try to dissolve
feetfirst into the frigging floor, and I swear if I catch you doing it
one more time Im going to lose it.
It was the last straw. Helen spun around on her heel and fled the
cafeteria. She tried to eat her lunch in the restroom, sitting on a
sink, but the venue was so unappetizing that she gave up on her
sandwich after a few bites.
She made it through her last three classes and practically ran to
the girls locker room when the final bell rang, but Claire was
already there waiting for her.
Sorry I yelled at you earlier, she said bashfully. She looked so
cute when she was apologizing that Helen couldnt even pick up a
grudge, let alone carry one.
Oh, forget it. Ive been a flake, and Id be angry, too, if I were
you. Helen threw an arm over Claires shoulder and led her outside
after they changed.
One thing, and then Im going to leave you alone about it until
you come to me to talk, Claire said as they walked past the football
field. Helen didnt have the patience for any more questions.
Weve never even kissed, Gig, she said, cutting Claire off.
Really? Claire practically shouted. Helen nodded and bumped
Claire playfully with her hip.
Really, really. I almost kissed him once, but he told me to lie
down and go to sleep.
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No way! Claire shouted. Helen grabbed her, clamping a hand
over her mouth.
Hes right over there, she said, gesturing toward him with her
chin. I told you Id tell you if anything happened. Im not trying to
keep secrets from you.
Claire gave Helen a knowing smile.
Youve always kept secrets. But its okay. When youre ready to
tell me you will, she said patiently. Then she tackled Helen, trying
to wrestle her to the ground. Helen went along with it, pretending
to be overpowered by her pint-sized pal, both of them laughing
hysterically. The fun only lasted a moment.
Get a room, said a boys amused voice.
You wish, Claire answered back. Wait. Howd you get over
here so fast?
Helen rolled over onto her back, blew her tangled hair out of her
face, and saw Lucas and Jason standing over them.
We saw you go down so we ran over to check it out, Lucas said,
ignoring Claires question.
Thanks. She is pretty ferocious, Helen replied, allowing Claire
to flip her over one more time before Lucas helped her up.
Five feet and two inches of pure terror, Claire boasted as she
held out her hand, expecting Jason to help her. He folded his arms
across his chest deliberately.
Is that how tall you are without those ridiculous shoes? he said
derisively. I think I was born bigger than that.
I bet you were. Five feet of fat head and two inches of ass,
Claire muttered, standing up.
Claire! Helen blurted out, shocked. Lucass shoulders were
shaking with laughter. Jason pretended to take the joke okay, but
Helen suspected his feelings were hurt.
Helen bit back her own laughter and gave Claire a little pinch as
punishment. Claire yelped in protest, pointing out that monkey
bites had been off-limits since they were ten, and was about to say
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something else to Jason when the Delos boys were called back to
practice by their coach.
Helen watched as Lucas jogged back to the football field. Running
in the sun, he was about the most beautiful thing shed ever
seen.
Crap. Were late, Claire said, and they picked up their pace to
catch up with their teammates, having to run up to the trailhead
where Coach Tar was waiting with her clipboard. She was already
shouting out start times, so Helen and Claire just kept running,
calling back to their coach as they crossed over the line. Coach
scribbled their times down, shaking her head.
You owe me a full minute off your last run for being late,
Hamilton! she shouted after them.
Sure, Coach! Helen shouted back before she lowered her voice
to berate Claire privately. Whyd you say that to him? she asked,
still feeling bad for Jason.
Because it felt fantastic! Claire replied unapologetically.
I like Jason, Helen said, realizing it was true. He had always
been kind to her, and he seemed to have a good head on his
shoulders. Hes a really nice guy, and you were awful to him.
Of course you like him, because Jason is nice to everyone.
Everyone but me. You dont have classes with us so you havent
seen him do it, but whenever we debate, he always tries to shut me
down, arguing against whatever position I take. Even when he actually
agrees with me, he argues just to play devils advocate.
And why do you think he does that? Helen asked with a little
grin.
I asked him, and do you know what he said? Claire plowed on,
getting herself even more worked up. He said everyone else in this
school is afraid to stand up to me in a debate, except for him, and
its good for me to have to work a little bit for once in my life!
How dare he challenge you to think deeper, Helen said with
mock horror.
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Believe me, its not a favor. Hes just trying to prove hes smarter
than me.
Is he?
Oh, I dont know. Maybe. Lucas is smarter than all of us, so
there goes valedictorian. And then theres Ariadne. Shes really
bright, too, but I think I have her beat. Well see what happens,
Claire said, biting at her lower lip.
She was deeply worried about all the new competition, and Helen
hadnt even asked her how classes were going so far. It sounded
like Claire had basically giv
en up on her lifelong dream of graduating
at the top of the class, and Helen hadnt noticed.
Ive been a terrible friend to you these past couple of days,
havent I? Helen asked, suddenly disgusted with herself.
I wouldnt say terrible, Claire said with a wry smile. But you
could do me a favor to make up for it if you like.
Anything, Helen replied immediately.
If you could keep Lucas awake and occupied the night before exams
. . . Claire said, already holding up her arms to defend herself
from Helens pretend slaps. I dont know why youre fighting it,
Len. One, hes frigging gorgeous. Two, hes so frigging gorgeous
you need to count it twice. Three, he saw you fall down and left
practice to see if you were okay. Thats, like, devotion.
Helen didnt know how to respond. She couldnt exactly explain
that Lucas had only come over to make sure she was okay because
several of his relatives were trying to kill her. The image of Kate lying
unconscious on the dirty ground flashed into Helens head and
her stomach fluttered. Like Kate, Claire was in danger just being
around her.
I gotta pick up the pace, Helen said urgently, and Claire
nodded.
Show Lucas those legs are for more than drooling over and call
me later, she said cheerfully before Helen sped off.
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When Claire was out of sight, Helen sighed to herself, fighting
back a fit of guilt. She didnt know what she would do if anyone
ever hurt Claire. The thought distracted her from reining in her
stride and she almost allowed herself to run into Coach Tars view
far too early. At the last moment she remembered to duck behind
some bushes, waiting several minutes before pretending to sprint
the last few yards. She still finished first, of course, and then had to
spend another half hour waiting for Lucas to finish up with practice.
If he was going to continue driving her to school in the morning,
she decided she was going to have to come up with another
plan for getting to work afterward.
As soon as Helen walked in the front door of the News Store,
Kate started following her around with a stunned look on her face.
Wow! Kate managed to say after a few moments of speechlessness.
Hes like . . . wow! I could go to jail for even thinking what
Im thinking.
Kate! Helen exclaimed, throwing a balled-up napkin at her. I
thought you were a feminist!