by Piper Rayne
Jesus, when did I start thinking about the safety of children and prefer one small town over another? What’s happened to me in the short time I’ve lived here?
The twenty-minute ride is quiet. Nikki sits without saying much. By the time we pull up to my rented house, she’s ready to bolt. When the car door shuts behind her and I watch her walk up to the house, the last ounce of my patience snaps.
I turn off the ignition and slam the truck door, following her up the walkway. She uses her key to get in and is on the bottom stair to head upstairs when I make it through the door.
“Going to hide out in your room for the rest of the night?” I head toward the kitchen without waiting for an answer.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she asks, never stepping down from the stair.
“Nothing,” I mumble and continue down the hallway. Yeah, I’m being passive-aggressive, but I’m not sure what to do at this point.
“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” she says, her footsteps sounding behind me.
“I guess you had to be around me for an unbearable amount of time and now you’re going to hibernate in your room for the rest of the evening.” I open the fridge, still hungry, and pull out one of my juices.
“Is that going to fill you up?” She eyes my juice.
I gulp down another swallow. “What do you care?”
She leans her hip against the counter. “Tell me again what’s wrong with you.”
I lower the juice and set it on the counter, then stare at her for a moment. Do I really want to do this now? Call her out? Hell yeah, I do. Even if it ends with me leaving town and heading back to Vegas. I can’t stand it anymore. I never would have thought she’d be this hard to crack.
“The fact that you won’t even allow me to get close to you. You act like I’m some diseased animal.”
She scoffs. “A little dramatic, don’t you think?”
I shake my head. “No, I don’t think I’m being dramatic. I think you act dramatic when you try to ignore the fact that you have feelings.”
She scoffs again and crosses her arms. All I see is her chest in that T-shirt. “What feelings? Feelings for you?” Her tone suggests it’s a ludicrous accusation.
“Yes. Feelings. For me. You’re trying to hide them. Or ignore them.”
“I told you—”
I hold up my hand before she can finish. “Yeah, daddy issues. Got it.” I walk away, but as I’m escaping the room, she stops me.
“You have no idea how messed up I am over it. And the fact that you’re… well… you, doesn’t help.”
I twirl around. “The fact I’m me? Did I invite some girl home with me? Have I given anyone any suggestion that I’m single while I’ve been here? I uprooted my entire life to be here with you.”
She laughs—an ungenuine one at that. “I never asked you to. You asked me to pretend the marriage was real until after your fight.”
I place my hands on my hips and my chin drops in defeat. She has a point. I did do that. “I only did that because I wanted to see where this goes. I felt something in my gut that told me there’s a reason we got married, something special between us. But you pushed me away, and I felt like the only way to explore it was to make that deal.”
“What?” she whispers. “You fooled me?”
I shake my head. “I was giving you the five contacts no matter what. I did it to buy time. Time with you. Time to explore this, but all I get from you is the palm of your hand in the air.”
“Yeah, because I felt like you wanted me to play the role, but didn’t really want me,” she says.
“You really believed that?” I ask. Is she really that bad at reading signs? “You said you didn’t play games.”
“And so did you. But you just played me.” She clenches her fists at her sides. “You tricked me, and now you’re angry that I’m not stripping down naked every night and sliding into bed with you.”
I throw my hands in the air. “I’m mad because you’re ignoring the pull we have toward one another. I see you looking at me, Nikki. I see your cheeks flush when I get near. I felt your heartbeat when I was on top of you tonight, the slight shift in your hips. Admit it to yourself at least, if you won’t to me. You want me just as much as I want you.”
She blows out a breath. “You don’t even remember marrying me.”
“Yet here I am!” I open my arms wide for her. “Waiting for you to want anything to do with me. Waiting for you to admit that there’s something here that neither of us can put into words and that it’s good, with the potential to be really fucking great.”
She shakes her head and fear flashes in her eyes. “You probably say that to all kinds of women.”
“For the love of—” I inhale a deep breath and force myself to calm down. “I’m not a womanizer. I don’t make a habit of marrying women in Vegas and following them to their hometown. You’re the only woman I’ve ever done that for.”
“How do I believe you, when I don’t know you?” she asks in a quiet voice.
I step forward. “Because you trust me until I give you reason not to.”
She looks up, and I take another step forward. Her eyes plead with me to make her cross over her bridge of doubt. In her eyes, I see a scared woman who’s afraid of what will happen if she takes a risk. But I can’t be the one to force her. She has to want to do it for herself.
“I’m not sure I can.”
“Why not?” I’m chest to chest with her, my hands begging to touch her. “I won’t hurt you.”
Her eyes meet mine. “And I’m sure that’s what my dad told my mom once upon a time. But he didn’t have to see the look on her face when I told her he was with another woman. I’ll never forget that face.” Tears well in her eyes and she places her hand on my heart. “I’m sorry, Logan, I just can’t.”
She walks around me, down the hall, up the stairs, and a second later, her bedroom door quietly shuts.
I blow out a breath. All I can say is I tried. Tomorrow I’ll tell Craig and the team that we’re headed back to Vegas. I’m not gonna find what I came here looking for. I need to put my time in Sunrise Bay aside.
Chapter Nineteen
“About damn time.”
Nikki
I sit on the bed and stare at the wall. The image of Logan’s blue eyes, which usually sparkle with genuine kindness, falling into despair after I told him I couldn’t step forward and meet him halfway is burned into my brain. I toe out of my shoes, annoyed that my dad is ruining this for me because of my trust issues.
I pick up the phone and call Molly. She answers on the first ring.
“Hey, girl.” From the sounds of it, she’s still at the brewery.
“Busy?” I ask, shrugging out of my yoga pants and panties, replacing them with my pajama set bottoms.
“For you, never.”
“No need for work to interfere,” Cade says in the background.
“Don’t worry, I flipped him off for you.” She laughs. “I’m going to take this in the office.”
Molly’s complete disregard for my brothers being her bosses pulls a smile out of me. I hear a door close, and the sounds of glasses clinking and people’s laughter in the background disappears.
“So what’s wrong?” she asks.
“Why do you assume something is wrong?” I put her on speaker and tear off my shirt before putting on my pajama shirt and buttoning it up the front. After a good night’s sleep, I’ll be able to regroup with Logan.
“You have that sound in your voice.”
“What sound?”
“Just tell me. I’ve been your best friend for way too long not to know when something is going on.”
I roll over on my back and take the phone off speaker in case Logan comes upstairs. “Why am I so messed up?”
She laughs.
“I’m serious, Mol, what is wrong with me? Relationships terrify me.”
“I assume this is about Logan?”
“No, it’s about the mailman.
Yes, of course, it’s about Logan.”
“If you’re gonna be snippy, I’m not gonna help you.”
She’ll always help me. We both know that, but I’m not going to call her on it right now, just in case.
“He wants to pursue this. He told me that the whole reason…” I forgot that I never told Molly about the arrangement we made. It’s been our secret. I know I can trust Molly, but I never wanted to chance the truth coming out for Logan’s sake.
“Whole reason what?”
I sigh. “When Logan first came to town, he said he wanted to pretend that we were happy until the fight was over. That he didn’t want the bad press distracting him. In exchange, he’s giving me contact with five celebrities to interview on the podcast.”
“Interesting,” she says.
“What?”
“You honestly believed him when he told you that?” She laughs.
“Why would I not?”
“I know your dad did a number on you. I understand that. Everyone does. Plus, the way he never comes up here to see you guys and stuff. But you’re being blind to what’s going on. Look at your wedding picture, Nik. Or how about the way Logan’s eyes always follow you through a room. Or how it looks like he hangs on every word you say. That whole deal you two made was bullshit.”
I sigh and throw my arm over my eyes. “That’s what he told me tonight. That he came here because his gut told him he should be here.”
“Aw, I really like the guy.”
“You liked him before I married him,” I say dryly.
“Technically, I liked the way he fought, not actually him.” She covers up the receiver. “It’s Nikki.”
“Is that Cade again?” I ask.
“Jed.”
“I’ll let you go. I don’t want him to—” I hear them wrestling over the phone.
“Sorry!” Molly screams in the background which means…
“Nik, get your head out of your ass. Our dad’s an asshole, so what? I’m a decent guy,” Jed says.
“That’s the argument you’re going with?” Molly says behind him.
“I am a good guy.”
“Um… you’re a great flirt,” Molly says. “Give me the phone. I’m the one who can talk sense into her.”
“No way. I’m her brother, we share the same dipshit father.”
They continue having their own conversation.
“I’m gonna go, you guys,” I say.
“Give the guy a chance,” Jed says. “Hell, give any guy a chance to prove you wrong. If Logan’s that bad of a guy, I’ll be here for you and I promise to pick you up and dust you off.”
“You should be offering to kick his ass if he breaks her heart,” Molly says.
“Have you seen the guy?” Jed asks incredulously.
“I’m fine, honestly. I just have to think this through.”
“Get out of your damn head and do what you want, regardless of the repercussions,” my brother says, then I hear them wrestling with the phone again.
“Hey, he’s gone now. Just look at your wedding photos, Nik. It’s all there.” Molly’s voice is genuine and heartfelt.
“Thanks.”
“Break’s over, Molly, get your ass out there.” Cade’s booming voice chimes in behind her.
“He must’ve gotten into a fight with Presley because he’s in a bad mood tonight. Gotta go. Call me if you need me again.”
I laugh. “I’ll be fine.”
“Just look, Nikki. I know it’s scary but have faith.”
We say goodbye and I lie there staring at the ceiling, knowing Logan is probably right down the hall in his bedroom by now. He could be doing the same thing I am.
My hands shake as I bring up my phone and type “Logan Stone marriage photos” into my browser. There’s my drunken face front and center. I click on the link for some gossip blog and refrain from reading the article, zooming in on the picture like Molly said to do.
I stare at Logan’s face and try to look at him as someone on the outside might. We’re both looking at each other. I have a bouquet of fake flowers, and Elvis and his wife have just thrown birdseed that’s sprinkling down on us. Logan and I are laughing at one another, but it’s the look on our faces, like we’ve known each other forever, that gets me. It’s as though there’s an inside joke only we share.
I scroll down on the page. There’s another picture of us where Logan has me pressed against the open door of the SUV, our lips on one another’s. My hand is fisted in his shirt as if I’m afraid he’ll get away. The next picture is me crawling in the car and Logan entering right after me. The last picture is of the SUV driving away.
There are so many reasons why I look carefree—tequila likely the biggest—but I don’t get that comfortable with men usually. And never in only one night. Maybe I do need to explore this thing between us.
I leave my phone on the bed and sit up, gaining the fortitude to make the move I should’ve earlier. Rising from the bed, I stare at the door as if it’s a wormhole portal that’ll take me to another dimension. Do I have the guts to see what’s on the other side?
Before I second-guess myself, I walk over and open the door, then I tiptoe down the hall. I knock softly on the door of Logan’s bedroom, but there’s no answer.
I have a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other, at odds over what to do. Go back to my room and forget this whole thing or take a chance and hope it ends up okay?
The doorknob twists in my hand and the hinges squeak as I inch the door open, finding an empty bed. That’s when I hear water running.
This is my chance. He never has to know I was here. Go back now before I get hurt.
I shake off the negative thoughts and think about the look on Logan’s face coming out of the chapel. He’s right. There is something between us and I’ve denied the pull too long.
I walk through the bedroom to the giant master bath with a soaking tub, two-person shower, and two vanity sinks. This is probably where Logan hoped we’d stay together, but I accepted his offer for the other bedroom.
The glass shower door is steamed over, so I can’t see him. My hand shakes as I wrap my fingers around the metal handle to pull the door open. I close my eyes and inhale a deep breath before slowly inching it open.
Logan startles then stares at me. He doesn’t have to ask me what I’m doing there. Our gazes lock and I step into the shower, joining him.
“Please… just don’t hurt me,” I whisper.
His arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me to him, under the stream of water, soaking my pajamas so they stick to me like a second skin. “I’ll protect your heart with my life.”
He bends down and presses the gentlest kiss to my mouth. I savor the softness of his lips compared to the rest of his hard body pressed to mine. My arms wind around his neck, all my worries fading when his tongue slides into my mouth.
I’m so upset that I don’t remember the first kiss we ever shared, but if it was as good as this one, then I know why I said, “I do.”
Urging me backward until my back hits the wet tiled wall, he breaks our kiss to stare at me. “Does this mean?”
I nod, answering his vague question. “I’m in.”
My favorite smile of his, the shy one, emerges and my heart flips and flops inside my chest with happiness.
“About damn time,” he mumbles, and his finger and thumb undo one of the buttons on my silk pajamas. He groans at seeing the crevice between my breasts.
Another button comes undone. I watch his masterful fingers unclothe me, finally pulling the wet fabric from my skin and leaving me bare from the waist up. His right hand molds to my breast and his lips descend on mine again, his tongue sliding against mine instantly. I knew he’d be a great kisser. Patient but persistent at the same time. His hard length rubs against my stomach, and I take him in my palm.
“God, you feel good,” he says, bucking slowly into my hand while I pump him up and down.
Our tongues fight for dominance. His hand s
queezes my breast, his thumb running over my already pebbled nipple. I want him so badly, I find it hard to control myself. My leg wants to rise over his hip so he can slide himself between my legs.
As if he can read my mind, he stops kissing me and sinks to his knees on the shower floor, simultaneously pulling my pajama shorts down my legs. I fight the embarrassment of being completely naked in front of him as he looks up at me with devilish eyes. His hands slowly urge my legs apart and he swings one over his shoulder, his finger running along the length of my core.
My hands fall to his hair, my fingers threading through his blond strands. He replaces his finger with his tongue, licking his way up to my clit before toying with it with the tip of his tongue.
My head falls back to the tile. I have no words to describe how good his mouth feels on me. Why did I wait this long? He’s masterful in his movements, shifting from gentle to building more pressure over and over again. His tongue and fingers move in tandem until my orgasm sits right on the precipice. I’m so close, and I’m sure my sighs and panted praises clue him in that I’m about to come.
He doesn’t hold back. If anything, he stretches the rubber band further until I can’t hold back any longer. My body jolts when I come, tipping forward away from the tile wall, and every muscle fiber in my body tenses before they go limp.
“Holy shit,” I murmur.
Logan smiles at me from between my legs and I take a mental snapshot of this moment, determined to remember it always.
His shoulder digs into my stomach as he throws me over his shoulder. “I’m not even close to being done with you yet.” He turns off the water then steps out of the shower and walks us into his bedroom, where he deposits me on the bed.
“We’ll get it all wet,” I say.
“Exactly.” He winks and climbs on me, situating his hard length between my legs.