by Anne Carol
“Mmm,” I sighed.
I wrapped my legs around his and took his lips again, letting my tongue explore his mouth. He was hard, and with him pressing against me, I thought for sure I was going to lose control. Which is exactly what I did when I let my fingers slip beneath his waistband. I was desperate to touch him, to hell with my personal standards.
But he grabbed my wrist before I could reach too deep. “What’re you doing, Beth?”
“I want you to make love to me,” I heard myself say, though it didn’t seem to fit me. Apparently my out-of-control hormones were speaking for me.
Immediately he backed off and gave me a discerning expression. “Beth, you don’t mean that.”
“Maybe I do,” I said, not so confidently. His face reflected my doubt.
“Angel,” he breathed, hovering over me. “You don’t know how badly I want to be inside you …”
His statement alone almost made me come apart.
“… but I know you’re trying to save the first time for our wedding night.” He gently kissed my forehead. “I’m not going to take that away from you.”
Embarrassed, I turned away from his focused stare. “You’re right. I don’t know why I said that.” My throat dried up.
He pinched my chin and forced me to look at him. “I know,” he whispered, before pressing himself back down on me. “You need to be taken care of, in a way that won’t leave you with regrets.”
I clasped my hands behind his neck and looked at him in awe. “You’re too good to be true, you know that? If I was with … well, you-know-who, I’d be taking my clothes off right now. But you—”
“I respect you, Beth. It’s rather simple. That’s what you do when you love someone.”
Moved by his loving statement, I brought him in closer. “I want to be with you forever. Nobody else, just you, brown eyes. Forever,” I whispered.
“Forever.”
With that, I welcomed his merciless kisses as I slowly unbuttoned his shirt and began touching the smooth surface of his chest.
Soon it became apparent that we needed a larger space to maneuver, so we tossed the blanket aside and moved to the rug in the center of the room. As he lay on his back, I opened up his shirt and trailed kisses all over his torso. I loved touching his bare skin, and he seemed to enjoy my display of affection, so much that after a few minutes I could hear his breathing speed up.
“Are you alright, baby?” I asked as I rolled to his side and stroked his arm.
“Uh, yes. About ready to combust, though.”
“Me, too,” I whispered into his shoulder, just before I pulled him on top of me.
A short while later, I lay in David’s arms, completely sated.
“How do you feel now, sweet girl?” he asked, kissing my hair.
“Like I want to stay in your arms all night.”
“Hmm … sounds nice, but I don’t think your aunt would be keen on that.”
“Probably not.”
“Do you ever feel like running away together?” he said, sounding sincere.
“Yes,” I admitted, though I was way too practical to let that idea stick.
Then he gave me this look that scared me, like he was seriously thinking about it.
“But we’re not going to do that,” I stated, heading off any crazy thoughts he might’ve had.
He sighed, letting his cheerful expression fall flat. “I know. You have to finish high school, I have my job and the band.”
Tracing his cheek with my finger, I said, “We’ll be together someday. I just don’t know when or how.”
“I know—you’re going to be my wife, when the time is right.” He brushed my hair back and nuzzled my forehead. “I want you to be mine in every way.”
“And I will be.”
“Oh, Beth, I’ll never get enough of you. Never …”
He held me in his arms all evening as we shared our dreams for the future. There were so many unknowns it was mind-boggling, but the one thing we were confident of was that we belonged together, no matter what.
After coming home to a very inquisitive cousin, to whom I promptly returned her “supplies,” I had a blissful night of sleep, dreaming of David, of course. Drifting off to sleep, I felt at ease with things, like we were moving in the right direction. Our time alone had been a gift I wasn’t expecting. Yeah, a part of me still worried about the future and whether David would be prepared if the music didn’t pan out, but I told myself to let it go for now. He needed more time, and I needed more faith.
When I woke up the following morning, I could hardly believe it was New Year’s Eve, 1979. The dawn of a new decade, one that would see me to the end of my twenties. Life had changed so much over the past year, I wondered what another ten years would do. It seemed impossible to imagine. Would David and I be happily married? Would he be a famous rock musician? Would I be a famous writer? Would we have kids? Where would we be living? Those questions and more ran through my mind all day as I looked forward to the highlight of the evening—watching David play guitar for an audience. I could hardly wait.
The four of us—Jenny, Simon, David, and I—grabbed a quick dinner before making our way to the club where Vinyl Fog and a couple of other bands were slated to perform that night. David’s band was scheduled last, probably because they were the best of the three. They had the honor of playing into the New Year, just before I planned on grabbing David and giving him the biggest New Year’s kiss.
And when the band finally took the stage, I was amazed at how confident David appeared. He definitely came alive on stage, like he was meant to be in front of an audience. I was oozing with pride, knowing he was mine. And I loved how he hardly took his eyes off me; it seemed he was playing just for me.
The highlight of my night was the final song, “Angel.” I assumed Trevor would sing lead, as usual, so I was ecstatic when he made an announcement into the microphone.
“This song was written by our guitarist, David Somers, and since I’m feeling generous tonight, I’m going to let him take the lead. It’s all yours, David.”
Knowing what that song did to me, I silently prayed I wouldn’t start crying. As he eased into the opening notes, his eyes bore into mine and I got chills up my spine as he sang to me—to me—in front of a packed night club! I gazed back with a shy smile throughout the song, which he sang with such emotion that I almost lost it.
It was almost the close of the song when something strange happened. His gaze diverted from mine as he glanced at another section of the audience with a smug grin. I turned my head to see who he was looking at, but couldn’t pinpoint anyone in particular. Only, there was one very attractive girl who seemed to be staring at David with a look of admiration. A sick feeling came over me when it became obvious he was focusing on her.
When he smiled at her, the mystery girl with gorgeous brown hair, I had to look away. What the heck? Who is she?
Once the song was over, I was fully prepared to run up and give him a kiss, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw the brunette jump to her feet. To my horror, she rushed to the front, like she’d done it a million times, and embraced my boyfriend! When they started kissing, my stomach lurched and I ran out of the club, losing my dinner in a nearby garbage can.
“Beth! Oh my gosh, are you alright?” Jenny was right behind me with Simon at her side.
She handed me a tissue and I wiped my mouth angrily.
“Who the hell was that?” I growled as I began stalking down the street, fighting the swarms of party-goers out on the sidewalk. A few people looked at me like I was a nutjob, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get home, bury myself under the pillow, and forget about the ruined night.
“I believe it was Josephine, David’s ex,” Jenny answered hesitantly.
“What?” I whirled around. “What the hell is going on with them? That was no peck on the cheek!”
“I don’t think he kissed her, Beth. It was all her doing. She had him cornered.”
“Yeah,
it looked like he was really suffering.” I pushed on through the crowds, with Jenny and Simon struggling to keep up.
“BETH!” I knew that voice well. I didn’t bother to turn around, but I could hear his footsteps pounding on the cement, coming closer and closer. “Beth, please stop!”
Up ahead was a less populated stretch, so I made my way there, stopped, and turned around. But only because I was tired of people staring at me. I was so livid I could’ve gone the rest of the night not talking to David, maybe even the rest of my life. Jenny and Simon strolled past me, saying they’d be right there if I needed them.
David was out of breath as he approached me, nearly slipping on an icy patch.
“Beth, please listen,” he said, regaining composure.
“To what? Nothing you say can possibly excuse what just happened! It made me physically sick!”
“No, no, my sweet girl.” He reached for me, but I backed away.
“Don’t call me that,” I said between my teeth.
“Beth, I had no idea she would do that.”
“Well you sure lead her on by smirking at her while you sang my song! It’s no wonder.”
“I saw her and smiled at her, yes, but in no way did I expect her to come kiss me!”
“And you didn’t kiss back? Looked like you were both going at it.” I was nauseous just saying those words.
“Bollocks! She stuck her tongue down my throat and I had to push her off me! Told her I was taken—very taken. By that time you were gone and I left everything to come after you.”
“Think I’m going to be sick again.” I hardly heard anything after “she stuck her tongue down my throat.” Clutching my stomach, I turned my back to him. “Just go away. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“Tonight?”
“Ever,” I raged.
“This is crazy! I didn’t do anything wrong!” He grabbed my arm. “Beth, look at me!”
I wrestled myself away from me. “Don’t touch me.”
“I have to. I love you,” he choked out.
“Right now …” I focused my gaze on his lips, which still had a stain of red from her lipstick. Ugh. “Right now … I hate you.”
And then the tears started. Damn my emotions. Always betraying me when I wanted to appear strong.
“Come on, Beth. Let’s get you home.” Jenny came to my side and pulled me away.
“NO! You can’t leave me over this!” Now there was a tug of war between my cousin and my boyfriend as David frantically pulled me the opposite way.
“Ouch! Let go!” I rubbed my shoulder, which felt like it’d come out of its socket.
In the next beat, Simon was on him, separating him from me. “Back off, David. We’re taking her home now. Just go back to your mates.”
The last thing I remember was seeing David’s heartbroken expression as the three of us slipped away into the cold night.
I cried myself to sleep. Then I tossed and turned because I couldn’t stop dreaming about him. I even heard his voice calling my name sometime in the middle of the night, but I woke up and realized it was just a dream. Then I struggled to get back to sleep.
The image of another woman kissing my boyfriend was seared into my brain. Naturally, it made me think of Rick and what he did last summer. Was David right, had it been an unwanted kiss that he couldn’t avoid? Or was he not as trustworthy as I’d wanted to believe? How could I ever truly know?
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized this fight was about way more than trust. It was about doubt, and it was starting to taint everything.
My flight home was one day away, so I had that much time to resolve this issue. That’s if he still wanted to talk to me, after I walked away from him. Maybe this was the end, and my trip here had proven that it was never meant to be.
Ah, I love his smell, and the feeling of my cheek pressed against his chest as we sleep in each other’s arms. Everything is so perfect …
“Beth, wake up.” The hushed whisper startled me awake. My pillow was squished against me and I clung to it like it was … him. Releasing the pillow, I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
“Beth.” Uncle Ned stood at the foot of my bed. “Your boyfriend is outside on the landing, sleeping. You’d better get him inside and phone his parents. I have a hunch he’s been there all night.”
I glanced at the clock. 6:17.
“Oh great,” I grunted, tossing the covers back and throwing my robe on as I trudged down the stairs, with Jenny now awake and slowly trailing me.
Securing the robe around me, I hesitantly opened the front door and stepped out into the freezing air. I gasped when I saw David sprawled out on the porch, asleep, wearing the same clothes from the night before. Alarmed, I rushed to his side, where I was hit with a strong aroma.
“Oh, baby. You smell like a brewery, what did you do?” I whispered, fanning the heavy odor away from my nose.
“Do you need help, Beth?” Jenny’s figure appeared outside the door.
“Maybe. I need to wake him up. He’s going to have a wicked hangover.” I sighed wearily.
“Got snockered last night? Doesn’t surprise me, he was a royal mess.” She shook her head and glanced at him sympathetically. Ignoring her comment, I focused on how to get him inside, warmed up, and sober so I could send him home.
“David, wake up!” I lightly shook him.
He drowsily opened his eyes, met my anxious gaze, and slurred, “Beth, it’s you.” He reached out for me, giving me a pained smile. Suddenly he jerked his hand back and cupped it over his mouth, groaning in misery. He turned away and started dry heaving and then throwing up all over the cement. I closed my eyes and placed my hand on his back to steady him. Jenny, meanwhile, turned up her nose.
“Dear God …”
“Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up,” I assured her, thoroughly disgusted and annoyed with David.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whimpered.
“Are you finished?” I asked. “We need to get you inside and warmed up.” I tried hard to keep my emotional distance, because I was still confused about last night.
“I think so,” he answered weakly. I helped him to his feet, and Jenny and I both walked him inside. He rinsed his mouth out at the sink, and then we brought him over to the sofa, where I tossed a throw blanket over his shivering frame.
“I’ll go get a bowl, just in case.” Jenny offered, leaving me alone with him for a second.
“You take such good care of me,” he mumbled, almost incoherently.
“Just lay down, okay?” I said, pushing him down on the sofa as I kneeled beside him, gliding my hands over his chilly face. “Oh, you’re so cold,” I said, honestly worried. “Let me get you a hot wash cloth.” I rose to a standing position, only to be caught by David’s hand.
“I’ll never let you go, Beth,” he whispered airily, looking up at me with pleading eyes. “You’re the love of my life.”
I glanced away, trying to avoid feeling anything. “I … I’ll be right back.”
Turning my back on him was harder than I expected as I headed into the kitchen.
“I’m cold,” David moaned as I walked back into the room with the cloth. I handed it to him and watched as he carefully brushed it across his face. He closed his eyes, clearly enjoying the sensation. Pity swelled in my heart for him. “You’re a mess, baby,” I said, standing over him with my hands on my hips. His hair was unruly, his chin was shaded with light stubble, and his eyes were bloodshot.
He stared at me with a worn-out expression. “I’m so tired.” He yawned.
“Why don’t you try to sleep?” I suggested, and then wondered, “How is your head?”
“I feel dreadful.” He gripped his forehead.
“Okay, I’ll track down some headache pills for you. Hopefully they’ll help you sleep.” I went to fetch some pills and brought them to David, along with a glass of water. “Here.”
He slowly took the pills, his sad eyes never leaving mine.
> “Lie with me,” he begged, his voice matching his eyes. “I’m desperate to hold you.”
Caving to those soft brown eyes, I knelt down beside him and let him wrap his arms around me. I picked up the wash cloth and ran it down the side of his face. “Is that better?”
“Yes.” He fingered a piece of my hair. “I dreamt I held you all night.”
I smiled, recalling my own dream from this morning.
“Is that a smile?”
I shook my head. “Just rest, brown eyes.”
He let me out of his embrace, but I bent down and kissed his forehead before walking away. I felt his gaze follow me into the kitchen, where I found Jenny fixing a bowl of oatmeal and drinking some tea.
“I think he’ll sleep for a while. Will your parents mind if he’s on the sofa for the morning?” I asked tentatively.
“I’m sure they won’t be keen on it, but he obviously needs to sleep it off. You should ring his house, though.”
“Oh, right, that’ll be fun.” I gave her a look of dread.
I went to the phone and dialed his number. Thankfully his father answered, and I calmly explained to him that David had stayed out late and decided to crash on the sofa here, but that he was okay and would be home later. He seemed alright with that explanation, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
“I’m going to go clean up his … stuff, then grab a shower,” I told Jenny before I lumbered back outside to look for the hose.
Later on, as I was combing through my wet hair in the bathroom, I heard David call my name. I cracked the door open and overheard Jenny telling him I was in the shower, so I stood quietly and listened in to their conversation.
“Is she going to break up with me?”
“I doubt it. She loves you.”