by Lee Rose
Ben looked at Hannah as if Richard was lying. “Is this true?”
Hannah sighed and nodded. She hadn’t been planning to tell Ben about her confrontation with that woman. “Yes, she threatened me and told me to stay away from you or else.”
“Why didn’t you call me right away?” Ben asked, looking at her angrily as if it was her fault.
Hannah put her arms across her chest defensively, feeling her temper flare up. How dare he be mad at her? “Why bother, Ben? She’s your little groupie and you always defend poor, helpless, gentle Dorothy.”
“Gentle? Helpless?” Richard snorted, looking at Ben angrily. “That woman is a piranha, Ben. Just because she pretends to be kind and harmless in front of you doesn’t mean she is.”
Ben paced up and down the floor of the waiting room, feeling defensive that everyone thought he was being foolish and blind.
“I know she slashed my tires, Ben, and pushed me on purpose at the bar, too,” Hannah continued, her voice calm, knowing it was useless trying to convince Ben of Dorothy’s true nature but at least she could say she had tried.
Ben looked at her as if she had gone crazy and huffed. “She apologized to you, Hannah. She was just clumsy. Billy asked around and no one saw anything concerning your truck. You can’t just accuse people of crimes because you don’t like them.”
“See? That’s why I didn’t tell you. I knew you would find an excuse for her,” Hannah yelled out in frustration. “I have work to do, Ben, so just leave and go comfort poor Dorothy, since you obviously think we are all lying about her.”
“I am not defending her. I just can’t believe she’d be involved in vandalism,” he replied quickly in a frustrated voice. “She may be annoying but she is harmless. You’re just jealous of her and want to find any excuse to make her look bad.”
He couldn’t have chosen a better way to hurt her. She felt icy cold inside and the hurt showed on her face as she bravely blinked back the tears, refusing to let them fall. Not in front of everyone, later when she was alone she’d let the tears loose.
Amy and Richard both gasped at him in shock and stood by Hannah’s side, disbelief clearly written on both their faces.
“Hannah has no need to be jealous of that horrible woman. She is worth a hundred Dorothys,” Amy said firmly, her voice shaking from anger. “Shame on you, sheriff, for even saying that.”
Billy shook his head sadly at Ben, but didn’t voice an opinion. He just waited for the fireworks to start.
Hannah stood there feeling the pain slice through her deeply like a sharp knife. She didn’t even feel angry, just sad as she looked at Ben’s angry face. It would always be like this between them and soon their love would turn to hate. She didn’t think she could survive that. Look how painful it was now.
“Just go, Ben. I have a lot to do and I can’t deal with you right now,” she said, the hurt evident in her voice. She walked away to get a broom to start the cleanup, leaving him standing alone in a room of people glaring angrily at him until he left.
Chapter Ten
“Thanks for coming with me, Grace. I hope I didn’t mess up your work schedule,” Hannah said as she drove to Austin for her first doctor appointment. She was still upset with Ben and had avoided all his calls. She was too mad to talk right now and she was afraid if they did talk it would only be to argue. Memories of her parents’ awful fight still remained in her head and the awful words they would say to each other. She didn’t want things between her and Ben to escalate to that level and she was afraid they would and be irreparable.
“No, Lisa was happy to switch shifts with me,” Grace replied and frowned, shaking her head in unbelief. “I can’t believe Ben is being so blind. I told him not too long ago Dorothy was a stalker and to be firm with her. I guess he didn’t believe me.”
“Ben thinks women are all soft and fragile. His mom was a hardworking woman, but always sick or tired, and he took charge of everything. I guess that image stuck in his head and it’s hard for him to understand a woman is just as dangerous as a man. I understand that, but he hurt my feelings by always defending that woman.” She couldn’t even say her name. “I believe him when he says he has no interest in dating her. But I want him to respect me enough to believe me when I come to him with my concerns. I just don’t think we’re ready to enter a marriage. Not while we have such major disagreements. I don’t regret my baby, though. I will love him or her for the both of us.”
“You have all of us, too, Hannah. This baby will be loved by many, I don’t worry about that. I worry about you. You are such a strong person and I have always admired that quality about you. Do you know how many times I watched you face life with a ‘take the bull by its horns’ attitude? Remember the night we faced James and you held the rifle pointed toward him, I was scared shitless and I knew you were, too. But I also knew you would pull the trigger to protect me and cry later,” Grace said, remembering that awful night her crazy ex had kidnapped her. “But it’s also okay to admit you need help, too. Promise me if there is anything I can do to help you, you’ll come to me.”
Hannah smiled at Grace emotionally. “Grace, don’t you know how much you help me just by being my friend? The way you and Amy took charge and bullied me out of my depression over Ben. I’ll get through this with or without Ben, but not because I’m so strong, but because I have such a great support system. Now stop making me cry.”
Grace giggled. “Okay, no more mushiness. There is a reggae music festival going on so I think we should stop by after your doctor appointment and dance. I love the rhythm of reggae.”
Hannah nodded enthusiastically and said. “I’m craving barbecue, too, so let’s just make a day out of it. I could use a fun day away from Bear Creek.”
* * * *
Ben sat with Jackson out at the ranch, feeling miserable. Why didn’t he think before he opened his mouth? Now he was missing out on Hannah’s first baby appointment and he had been looking forward to it. He had already written out a list of concerns to ask the doctor about. Jackson looked at his friend with part sympathy and part irritation.
“Go ahead and chew me out. I can see how hard you are trying to hold it in.” Ben sighed dejectedly with his hands in his pockets, leaning against the porch railing.
“You know who you remind me of?” Jackson began quietly. “Me, with Kelly. How many times did you and others warn me to open my eyes about her? I stubbornly refused to see what you saw, what everyone in town saw, until it was too late and it almost destroyed me.”
Ben groaned and closed his eyes, leaning back tiredly. He hadn’t slept. “I know I messed up with Hannah again. I should never have opened my mouth and I may be a blind fool, but do you really think Dorothy is dangerous?”
“Let me ask you this, Ben,” Jackson said, looking at Ben seriously. “Who is more important to you—Hannah or Dorothy?”
“Hannah. How can you even ask me that?” he asked in shock, looking at his best friend with surprise. “I have loved Hannah for a long time now and you know that, Jackson. I waited for her to grow up but I have always thought of Hannah as my girl.”
“If you love Hannah, why do you think she would lie to you about her concerns and suspicions? I wanted to beat the crap out of you for taking Dorothy’s side over my sister, but Hannah wouldn’t let me. If you honestly can’t protect my sister and the baby then stay away from her, Ben. I will take responsibility for them both,” Jackson said, his voice shaking with anger. “I will make sure this crazy woman does not hurt either one of them.”
Ben looked at Jackson with his mouth gaping, feeling speechless. Is that how people saw it, that he was taking Dorothy’s side over Hannah? Richard and Amy glared at him rudely this morning when he went into the shelter to talk to Hannah and they told him Hannah took Grace to her doctor’s appointment and wouldn’t be in that day.
“I didn’t mean to sound like I thought Hannah was lying.” He tried to explain but he felt confused with everything that was happening lately and b
acked into a corner. He didn’t like the feeling but it was hard to imagine Dorothy as anything but lonely and desperate. He felt sorry for her desperation, but did that make her capable of being malicious?
“Why don’t you believe Hannah? Learn from my mistake. I would have argued with you before that Kelly might be a bitch but she would never hurt Grace in any way. My ignorance almost cost Grace her life,” Jackson told him, remembering with remorse that Kelly had teamed up and helped James kidnap Grace.
“Just go home and do some thinking, Ben. Either you’re going to stand beside my sister or that crazy woman. It’s your decision, just make up your mind once and for all. All this back and forth between you and Hannah is not good for any you or any of us.”
Ben drove home feeling depressed and confused.
* * * *
Hannah called Ben that evening after her doctor’s appointment to let him know everything was okay with the baby. She owed him that much. She told him everything was fine and she would be seeing Dr. Belle once a month for now.
Ben started to apologize but Hannah stopped him. “Listen, Ben. I’ve done a lot of thinking about us. I know you love me and I love you too. Sometimes love just isn’t enough. I don’t want a marriage like my parents had.” She explained to him memories of her parents’ awful fights where they would tear each other apart with words. “I especially don’t want our baby exposed to that kind of environment.”
“It wouldn’t be like that between us,” Ben protested over the phone.
Hannah let out a tired sigh. Relationships were harder to deal with than she thought. She just didn’t have the strength right now. The pregnancy was making her feel emotional and so tired and sick. “Eventually we will. You don’t believe me when I say I feel threatened by Dorothy and that cuts me up inside. How do you expect me not to feel jealous over her? Who knows, she might be better for you. She always looks perfect and bakes you cookies, things I can’t do. I don’t think we’re ready for marriage or even a relationship, Ben. I trusted you when you said you were not interested in dating Dorothy even though it burned me up inside to see her flirting with you at every turn, so why can’t I expect the same trust from you?”
Ben stayed silent as if not knowing how to respond. Hannah was throwing too many questions at him at once and he couldn’t think.
Hannah hung up the phone before he could come up with more excuses and cried herself to sleep. At least she had her baby to love and a supportive family who would stand by her. She’d have to be satisfied with that.
* * * *
She met with Grace at Flo’s Cafe the next day after work, feeling tired, and her head was killing her. All she wanted to do was go home and fall into bed but she had promised Grace to look at some dresses in a catalog. She didn’t want to dampen Grace’s enthusiasm for her upcoming wedding.
When she walked into the diner, Grace was busy so she sat at a booth by the window and enjoyed a quiet moment. Why did she feel like everyone was staring at her? Was she imagining things?
Finally Grace took a break and came and sat down with Hannah and handed her a dress catalog. “Thanks for helping me, Hannah. I really appreciate you doing this. Are you hungry?”
“No, I’m fine. I want to keep busy, Grace. It helps me not brood,” Hannah replied, trying to smile but it was too hard. She leaned across the table toward Grace and whispered, “Why do I feel like there are a hundred eyes on me? Is it because of my breakup with Ben?”
Grace frowned and turned to glare at a table behind them where two women sat staring at them and whispering to each other. When they saw Grace’s angry face they looked down at their plates with sudden interest.
“Those two are Dorothy’s friends. Lisa and Jane said they heard them telling people you were lying about being pregnant and Ben found out and dumped you.”
Hannah sighed, wishing she could just go and confront Dorothy herself. But she knew Dorothy would run to Ben with an exaggerated tale and Ben would believe her. “I bet I can guess who started the whole rumor thing. I’m so fed up with Dorothy. I’m tempted to go and give her a piece of my mind, but I’m not stooping to her level.”
Grace grabbed Hannah’s hand, hating the bad deal Hannah was getting from not only Ben but the gossipers of the town, too. “I can go and accidentally spill coffee on them. Flo won’t fire me.”
Hannah laughed and said loudly, “That’s okay. Their opinion doesn’t really matter to me. I have my family and Richard and Amy on my side.”
Sammie came up to the table with a smile. “And me, too. I hope you think of me as your friend, Hannah. I have only been living here in Bear Creek a short time. You are one of the few people besides Grace and Lisa who have actually treated me normally. I usually get a polite but you’re not one of us smile out of people when I try to make friends.”
Hannah stood up and hugged Sammie, feeling bad that she hadn’t seen how lonely the young woman was. “Of course you’re my friend, Sammie. Who cares what people think of us? Some people are so bored with their own boring-as-hell lives that they have to talk about other people. Now that’s what I call pathetic.”
Several people, including Dorothy’s friends, all had the grace to look down in shame as Hannah’s loud voice carried over the restaurant. All of a sudden everyone was interested in their lunches and no longer paid attention to Hannah.
Chapter Eleven
Hannah, Grace, Amy, and Sammie piled up in Hannah’s truck and drove it down to the creek. They planned on having a girl’s night of fun. Since Hannah was pregnant, she offered to be the designated driver for the night. She didn’t need to drink to have fun, but she desperately wanted to forget her painful fight with Ben and the awful rumors circulating around town about her fake pregnancy.
Hannah parked by the water. The night was still hot and being near the water would help make the breeze feel cooler. She turned her radio on to her favorite country station and Luke Bryan’s song, “Crash My Party,” came on.
Sammie smiled as she took the ice cooler out of the back of the truck with Amy’s help. She opened it up and grabbed a beer. “I love this song. Let’s dance, girls.”
The four of them laughed and started dancing to the song and laughing at their silly moves. They would probably never be professional dancers, but they were enjoying themselves and that’s what this night was all about. Friends hanging out and having a good time.
Hannah opted to sit down on one of the several bales of hay she had asked one of the ranch hands to place out there earlier. She opened her bottle of Sprite and took a long, soothing drink. She was sweaty but she felt energized. She took off her short-sleeved shirt, leaving her in a tight pink tank top. Grace and Amy stood on her tailgate, still dancing and laughing. Sammie sat next to Hannah. “Feeling okay?”
Hannah smiled and looked up at the bright full moon in the sky and took in a deep breath of fresh country air. “Yeah, I feel good. Thanks for being such a good friend, Sammie. I needed this.”
Sammie took a little sip of her beer and for a brief moment she looked very sad but then she smiled at Hannah. “I’ve had my heart broken before. I know it hurts, but time really does help and keeping busy. Look at Gracie up there, dancing as if she didn’t have a care in the world. She told me her story and I was blown away by her courage to find love again. I’ve had my heart broken and that was enough to make me hide emotionally for a long time because I was too scared to try again.”
Hannah looked over at her future sister-in-law, who was shaking her butt to the music and giggling with Amy like a schoolgirl. A few months ago she had been shy and quiet with eyes filled with nothing but sadness and fear but a second chance at love had changed everything for her.
“She is one brave soul,” Hannah admitted, wishing she could be that brave, too. Instead of standing up to Ben like she usually would, she had avoided his phone calls. She was scared to mess things up to the point that they were unfixable, or worse, that Ben would just give up on them and move on with Dorothy. No way wou
ld she ever share her child with that woman. She loved Ben but he had hurt her deeply by not having faith in her. Didn’t he know she would never purposely accuse someone of awful things out of jealousy?
“Amy told us how Ben reacted at the shelter. It makes me want to kick his ass for being so stupid, but at the same time, I do think he loves you. I’ve seen the sappy look on his face whenever your name is mentioned by someone. I waited on him once a few months ago and you walked by the window of the café and didn’t notice him. I saw such longing on his face as he stared at you walking by that I almost cried.”
“I know he loves me, Sammie. I love him, too. Love is not our problem,” Hannah admitted, feeling that familiar ache in her heart when she heard Ben’s name. She was afraid it would never go away. “If he can’t trust me when I say I feel someone is threatening me, how can I ever feel safe with him? How can I trust him to protect me and our child? Sometimes love doesn’t fix all our problems.”
Sammie patted Hannah’s hand in understanding and nodded. “You’re right. Okay, this is our first girls’ night, so let’s get up and shake our groove thing and not think of any stupid men. We’d be here all night crying our eyes out if we did that.”
Hannah laughed and went to join Grace and Amy dancing to “Drunk On You,” by Luke Bryant. They sang out loud with the song in off-key but happy voices.
* * * *
Ben sat at his desk alone, staring at the papers in his desk but not seeing anything he was looking at. It was late and he should be at home, the only problem was that home was a lonely place filled with Hannah’s scent. He couldn’t sleep and he felt like there was a hole in his heart and he knew it was all his own stubborn fault. He hadn’t seen or talked to Hannah in a few days. If he called the ranch, Ida refused to hand the phone to Hannah. Amy and Richard were the same if he called the shelter. He had Grace deliver her lunch every day so at least he knew she was eating. He was worried about her and wanted to take care of her and the baby, but she refused to accept any calls from him.