by Elin Peer
“First, we’ll meditate.”
Rolling his eyes, Finn sighed. “Do we have to? Kya already tried to teach me how to meditate, but it’s boring as hell.”
“Maybe that’s because you’re not doing it right,” I suggested.
“Finn, did you know…” Hans leaned closer and lowered his voice as if letting Finn in on a secret. “That here in the Motherlands our priestesses are our spiritual leaders. They train from childhood and learn how to master the life energy. They know how to put mind over matter and the best of them can go days without eating or sleeping.”
Finn looked at me and then back to Hans before he leaned in and spoke in the same confidential whisper. “You want to hear something even more impressive?” he asked Hans, who nodded to show his full attention.
“In the Northlands, people are so damn wise that even the village idiot knows to eat when he’s hungry and sleep when he’s tired.”
I got up from the table swallowing a smile. Behind me, Finn’s familiar laughter rumbled.
“Don’t look so offended, Hansi, I’m just messing with you.”
“My name isn’t Hansi, Finn. It’s Hans, and I’d appreciate it if you called me that.”
Right then my cat strolled in and when she saw the two men, she hissed at them.
“Oh, hello, kitty, come here.” Hans was already distracted and reached out for her. “What’s her name?”
“Bast, after the cat goddess of Egypt,” I explained. “Did you know that cats were sacred to the Egyptians?”
“How pretentious to name your cat after a goddess,” Finn said.
I gave him the stink eye. “Look who’s talking! In your country, all men are named after heroes.”
“Is that true?” Hans asked Finn. “Who are you named after?”
Squaring his chest, Finn boasted: “I’m named after Finn MacCumhail, a legendary Irish warrior who was the leader of brave men and who ate the salmon of knowledge.”
“Wow.” Hans gave Finn a genuine smile of recognition before he turned to me. “Athena, your name has meaning too, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, it does,” I said over my shoulder. “Athena was the goddess of wisdom, skill, warfare, and tactics.”
“Hah, there you have it,” Finn muttered. “A war-hungry witch with a black cat named Beast.”
“Bast, her name is Bast,” I corrected him, “and I’m not a witch.”
“So you say, but then you go around casting curses and you have a black cat.” Finn angled his head. “I’d say the evidence is piling up against you, honey.”
“If you’re so convinced that I’m a witch, you might want to be careful about provoking me. I could turn you into a toad or something.”
“I wouldn’t recommend it,” Finn said and sat up straighter, “unless you would like a toad to kill you.”
“How would a toad kill me?” I asked and shook my head. “A toad seems pretty helpless to me.”
“I’m a fucki… sorry, a freaking Nman and we are resourceful and cunning.” He tapped a finger against his temple.
“Yeah, but you forget that you wouldn’t be an Nman anymore; you’d be a toad.”
Raising his chin, Finn narrowed his eyes. “Not just any toad. I would be the fastest toad in the world and wait silently in the shadows until you fall asleep and then I’d crawl down your throat and block your airways.”
I looked at Finn, giving a grimace. “That’s mean.”
“Hey, I’m not the witch threatening to turn the nice Nman into a toad here.”
“But you’re threatening to suffocate me.” I moved to the couch and started pushing it toward the wall in order to create enough space for the three of us to meditate.
“That’s right, so you better not try any tricks on me,” Finn replied with a satisfied nod of his head.
“Allow me to sprinkle a bit of irony here,” Hans said and helped me get the sofa where I wanted it. “Athena, I think you really should turn Finn into a toad, that would be fun.” He turned to look at us as if waiting for applause.
“You might want to work a bit on your delivery – and a small tip here,” Finn said. “Try not to announce every time you use irony.”
Hans nodded. “Got it! Next time I’ll just say it without warning.” He gave us a sly smile. “You won’t even see it coming.”
CHAPTER 8
The Power of Laughter
Finn
I kept erupting in laughter when we were supposed to meditate. It was the stupidity of three adults lying on mats on a floor doing breathing exercises – which Athena insisted would help me get into a trance-like state.
First, there was the music, which sounded like the soundtrack to a movie about fairies or something. Little bells were ringing and water was flowing in the background. All I could think about was how much I wanted a deep drum to play as a big troll made all the little fairies flee in fright.
I told Hans and Athena, but they didn’t appreciate my humor and told me to relax and be quiet. I tried, but then my stomach started rumbling and all I could think about was all the food I hadn’t eaten this morning.
“Are you sure you don’t have some eggs so I could make myself an omelet?” I asked.
“Be quiet, Finn, and follow my breathing.”
“But what if you get really excited and start to hyperventilate?” I asked.
Athena kept her eyes closed when she answered. “I won’t. I’m meditating.”
“But you might – you know, if I moved closer and you started having sexual thoughts about me.” I laughed again when I heard Athena sigh with annoyance. “I’m sorry if I’m disturbing your Zen or something.”
Hans sat up. “It’s impossible to meditate with you in the room, Finn.” Getting up from the floor, he spoke to Athena. “Do you mind if I go to the drone? At least it’ll be quiet there.”
“Not at all. I completely understand,” she replied.
I sat up too. “Hey, Hans, how about I go with you and we find a bar with some beautiful women,” I suggested but Hans pretended not to hear me and left the house.
“Let’s try something else,” Athena said and came to sit right in front of me.
“Do as I do,” she said and took a cross-legged position, placing her feet on the opposing thighs.
“Okay.” I bent my knees but my muscles were far too stiff to get my feet into a position like hers.
Pushing herself forward, Athena came closer, her knees touching my shins and her face close enough to kiss.
She took my hands and looked into my eyes. “I’m going to help you build your empathy and become more spiritual.”
“Do I have a choice in this?” I asked.
“Yes, you always have a choice.” Her large green eyes were drawing me in like magnets and her pretty face was framed by her gorgeous red hair. Again, I wondered how it was possible for her to be thirty years old when she didn’t look a day over twenty.
“Are you mad at me for laughing when we should be meditating?”
She gave me a patient smile. “Not at all. Laughter is a spiritual superpower that lifts energy and heals. It's also an important part of many spiritual teachings. Have you heard of the Buddha?”
“No, was he a god or something?”
She nodded her head toward a small figurine of a guy with a big belly, who had a wide grin on his face. “No, the Buddha wasn’t a god, just a really wise man who many chose to follow on a path of enlightenment. One of his teachings was that the best medicine is laughter, and he talked about how satisfying and contagious it is to hear babies laugh.”
Finn shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never seen a baby.”
“But you have seen young children, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“And did you notice how uninhibited they are when they laugh?”
“Sure.”
“Good. I don’t wish to take your humor away from you. Rather, I want to help you use it in good ways only.”
I frowned. “What’s that
supposed to mean?”
Athena placed her hands on my knees and it made everything tingle in the lower part of my body. “Humor can be an armor to hide behind or a torch to brighten the darkness for others. Either way your humor connects to your spirituality.”
“All right.” I bit back my need to ask her to move her hands up my thighs.
“If you’re using humor as a shield, it will harm you because it will prevent you from growing.”
I gave her a lopsided smile. “Honey, I’ve been six-two since I turned eighteen and at thirty-four, I doubt I have more growing to do.”
“I’m talking about your personal growth,” Athena said in a patient voice.
“Ahh, okay.”
“Now close your eyes and take deep breaths like me. Focus on only your breathing and use this centering thought. I am kind to people, and people are kind to me.”
I kept a straight face when I repeated Athena’s words and I tried really hard to chant the funny line she’d taught me to think about every time I got distracted. But the problem was that my mind wouldn’t stop thinking, and in particular it wouldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like to have sex with Athena. She was so petite that I could probably carry her in any position I could imagine. My mouth lifted in a smile when I envisioned her naked and moaning my name in pleasure. It was hard, but with my head full of dirty thoughts, I remained quiet, breathing in a steady rhythm and holding on to Athena’s soft hands.
After a while, Athena whispered. “You can open your eyes now.”
When I did, I almost wished I hadn’t because her beautiful large eyes were full of curiosity and I got a feeling she was looking straight into my mind.
“Wasn’t it amazing?”
Everything inside of me bubbled. “Sure was,” I agreed with a growing smile.
“Did you feel our energies bond?”
“Yup, there was a whole lot of bonding going on.”
Athena squeezed my hands. “I feel kindness in you, Finn, and I think focusing on your spiritual energy like this for five days will do you a world of good.”
“Could be,” I said and played along.
Athena looked happy with herself, and for the first time I saw her smiling without holding anything back. “I knew you would like meditation.”
Having Athena smiling at me like this was starting an unwanted reaction in me. She was pretty when she wasn’t smiling. Her happiness only made her natural sweetness come out full force. Her closeness and illogical interest in me made it feel like the sun had come out on a cold winter’s day. I sat there basking in her attention like she was the sun throwing off warmth and nurturing vitamin D.
“If we do it two to three times a day, you’ll grow your stamina in no time,” she added.
Instead of telling her that she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever met, I put on my playful smile and armored up with humor. “No need to worry about that, sweetie. I’ve got plenty of stamina to bond with you as many times a day as you’d like.”
Athena’s smile stiffened. “You do know I’m talking about mental stamina, right?”
“Yeah, I figured, but just know that in case you want to do any other kinds of bonding with me, I’ve got the physical stamina too.”
Athena let go of my hands and pushed up from the floor. “You never give up, do you, Finn?”
I got up too, shaking my stiff legs. “Give up on what?”
“How many times have I told you that I’m not interested in having sex with you?”
“I’m not counting, but the number is probably equal to the number of times I’ve told you that you can’t say no to something you haven’t tried.”
Athena picked up the mats from the floor and told me to help her move the couch back.
“Isn’t there some kind of spiritual bonding in making love?” I asked. “Maybe that’s the true key to my personal growth? Did you ever consider that?”
Athena straightened up and crossed her arms, examining me. “You’re not talking about making love, Finn. Making love would imply that we had feelings for each other. We both know that’s not the case.”
“You’re wrong, darling. I have a plethora of feelings for you.”
One of Athena’s eyebrows shot up. “And what are those feelings?”
With a playful tone, I held up my hand and counted on my fingers. “I have feelings of desire because you’re so fucki… sorry, I meant you’re very beautiful. Then there are my feelings of curiosity because I wonder if you could take me to the root – you know, because you’re so small.” Holding up my third finger, I continued. “I also have feelings of gratitude because you agreed to lift the curse, and finally I have feelings of frustration because you’re making me stay here for five days.”
Athena bit her lower lip. “At least you’re not trying to tell me that you love me when you don’t. I’ll give you points for being honest and showing a bit of integrity.”
“Great.” I exclaimed. “And what will those points get me?” I let my eyes travel up and down her delicious body giving her my most charming smile.
“You’ll see,” she said and walked over to the stairs. “But first I’m taking a shower.”
“Do you need my help? We could shower together and you could show me that dryer function you talked about. I have a doctor’s gentle hands, remember.”
“That’s a very generous offer, but I’ll have to decline. I need the time to get ready for my class in an hour.”
“What class?”
“The spiritual enlightenment class that I teach. You should join us.”
“Nope, I’m good. I’m already way too enlightened for my own good; everybody says so.”
This time it was Athena who laughed as she ascended the stairs, giving me a perfect view of her round ass.
CHAPTER 9
Spirituality
Athena
“Remember what I told you: you are only an observer. Stay in the back and don’t say a word.”
“I heard you the first three times.” Finn had a handful of grapes in his hands and was throwing them in the air, catching them with his mouth. “Do you run these classes every day?”
“No, only twice a week. The other days I prefer to go out and meet my local community. But the spiritual enlightenment classes attract people from all over the world.” I pointed to the Virtual Reality devices on the table. “I’m setting you up with a generic avatar. In general, it’s frowned upon because we all like to know who we are in the company of, but if anyone asks you will tell them that your VR device broke.”
“Okay,” Finn said. “Just make sure that my avatar is handsome.” He crossed his arms as I pulled up different options for him to choose from.
Hans had his own device ready but leaned in and said, “Finn, if you’re not saying anything, you could go as a woman.”
At first Finn gave a grimace, but then his eyes crinkled with humor. “Ha, wait a minute. You’re right, Hans. But if I’m going as a woman, I want big tits and a deep cleavage.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I want to test if it’s really true Motlander men are asexual.”
Hans frowned. “What makes you think that we are asexual?”
Finn raised his eyebrows in an are-you-kidding-me expression. “Maybe the fact that you don’t have sex.”
Hans protested. “That’s not true, I’ve had sex monthly since I turned twenty-two.”
“Oh yeah, and how many women have you slept with then?”
Hans raised his chin. “That’s not something I’m willing to share.” But that comment only made Finn laugh.
“In other words, zero,” he said.
“Remember my instructions: take a seat in the back and just be quiet,” I repeated, before we activated our mood readers and entered the virtual reality.
The tranquil atmosphere of the meadow theme was perfect, with the natural slope that made it easy for the audience to hear and see whoever was speaking under the old oak tree that stood wit
h a beautiful crown large enough to provide shadow from the sun.
People were joining and quietly finding a spot to sit in on the soft grass. Hans stood in the background looking like himself, but with a different outfit on. Next to him stood Finn, but in the appearance of a blonde woman with long hair and very large breasts. Everyone would know Finn didn’t really look like that because of the G hovering above his head that told everyone the blonde was a generic avatar. Not that it was necessary, since no real woman would be staring down at her own breasts with such fascination. I signaled to Hans to get Finn under control when he started feeling himself up.
When it was time to start, I spread my arms and spoke in a loud and clear voice. “May peace surround you all. I am honored that you are all here, and as always let’s start with a moment of silent appreciation.”
The audience bowed their heads and closed their eyes for ten seconds in respect and appreciation.
“Today I thought we should talk about our neighbors to the North. Now that it is no longer forbidden to mention them, and we have five of them visiting our country at the moment, it seems like a relevant topic.”
Many nodded.
“We all grew up hearing stories about their strange ways, but only a few of us have met one of them in real life. I know that some Motlanders are unhappy about the Nmen being here, while others find it exciting.
“For me,” I said and spread out my arms, “I find this a great chance for spiritual growth for them and us. If our two nations are to unite at any point in the future, it will require a substantial amount of diplomacy, not to mention compromises on both parts.
“My question for you today is this, do you think we should work toward a union with the Northlands?”
A few people raised their hands and I pointed to an older woman that I knew. “Yes, Theresa.”
“Nmen terrify me,” she admitted and folded her hands in front of her. “I’ve heard so many horrible stories, and to see that someone like Pearl Pilotti, whom I’ve always respected and admired, would advocate for them makes me doubt everything I’ve learned.” Theresa was looking around at both me and the audience around her. “It’s hard to see how a nation with such vast difference in values from ours could ever change, and what scares me the most is that some of their values might rub off on us if we integrate. I think many of us would rather die than to see men back in power.”