by Elin Peer
“You’re being too hard on yourself, Hans.” The sound of Athena’s low voice from downstairs reached me. “You are certified and that’s all that matters.”
“But I feel like a fraud and if Finn finds out, he won’t have any respect for me.”
“Why do you care what he thinks? Finn is more concerned about himself than he is with you or me anyway. As long as you don’t get in his way when you leave here, he’ll be fine.”
“But that’s the problem, Athena. The Council asked that I keep an eye on him and make sure he stays on track.”
“And what track would that be?”
“Setting a great example for the Nmen, of course. Apparently, his last visit to the Motherlands involved a lot of interactions with women, so this time the Council has come up with a schedule to keep him busy with things related to his profession as a doctor.”
“Interesting – what’s on his schedule?”
“Look at this,” Hans said. “Now that we’re spending five days here, some of it will have to be cut out. Today he was supposed to visit a hospital and meet with his peers to discuss approaches to diseases in the Northlands and here in the Motherlands,” Hans said. “And then there’s a visit to a retirement home, a scientific research center, a fertility clinic, and a place of reflection.”
“Sounds very serious.”
“Yes, but some of the other Nmen are doing lighter stuff like working on community garden projects.”
I was done eavesdropping on them. If Athena and Hans were hiding something from me, I wanted to know what it was. Two minutes later I stood fully dressed, with my arms crossed and eyes locked on Hans. “What is it you don’t want me to know?” I asked.
Hans got all flustered and pointed to the stack of pancakes on the table. “Are you hungry? How about some breakfast?”
I grunted. “Don’t try to distract me, it’s not going to work.”
“But I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hans stammered, his face radiating guilt.
“Look, you two geniuses shouldn’t be discussing things I’m not supposed to hear when you know I’m upstairs.”
“We thought you were sleeping,” Hans defended himself.
“I was, until I woke up and heard you two whispering about something that would make me lose all respect for you. Well, guess what, I don’t have much respect to begin with, so it’s not like you have a lot on the line here.”
Hans plunked down on a chair, his shoulders drooping.
I turned to get answers from Athena and my blood started pumping faster. She was goddamn gorgeous this morning with her long hair cascading down her shoulders and those green eyes more enchanting than ever. Bits from our conversation yesterday came back to me, and I shifted my balance when I thought about how I had lied to her. The truth was that if I could make love to a woman as amazing as Athena every night, I wouldn’t look at another woman.
“Tell me what you two are keeping from me,” I demanded, a bit harder.
Athena angled her head and took three steps to stand next to Hans. “Good morning, Finn.” Her voice was soft, but the look in her eyes told me I had to go through her, if I wanted a piece of Hans.
“Good morning, Athena; now tell me what this is about.”
With a swing of her hand, Athena gestured for me to take a seat at the table. “Would you like a bowl of fruit with your pancakes?” she asked, and after arranging everything in front of me, she sat down, lacing her hands together in front of her on the table. “I’m surprised that you are asking to hear Hans’ secret. Does that mean you are willing to share your own?” She was looking straight at me with a no-bullshit attitude.
Narrowing my eyes, I chewed on my food, and looked from her to Hans and back again. “My secrets have nothing to do with you two.”
“And what makes you think that Hans’ secret has anything to do with you?”
Hans had his elbows on the table now and his face hidden in his hands.
“Because I heard him say that he didn’t want me to know.”
“Yes, well, that’s the problem with eavesdropping.” Athena’s voice was calm but stern. “Sometimes you hear things that you’re not supposed to hear.”
I had picked up a glass of orange juice, but her comment made me slam it down on the table. “Cut the crap and just tell me already.”
Hans jumped in his seat, and started babbling like I had threatened to cut off his fingers or something.
“I can’t take this level of hostility,” he said in a high-pitched voice. “I appreciate you trying to keep my secret safe, Athena, but I fear Finn will never give up pressuring us until we tell him.”
“That’s right, so you better tell me now,” I said and hid my smile. Hans was easier to crack than a six-year-old.
“You don’t have to tell him anything,” Athena said and placed a hand on top of Hans’ arm.
“I’m a fraud,” Hans admitted and looked up at me with wet eyes that made me lean back in my seat. Either this man was a soft cookie or his secret was of epic proportions for him to look like he was about to start crying.
“I’m not really one of the most experienced mediators, like Isobel told you.” He looked down again and whispered the next sentence. “I lied to her.”
“You lied to Isobel? Okay, so what are you then?” I asked.
Hans’ chest lifted in a deep sigh and his body fell into a slump of defeat. “I’m a rookie. And not a very good one either.”
“Do you want me to explain it?” Athena asked Hans who nodded as timidly as a small boy about to take his first severe beating.
Maybe it was because Athena spoke in her perfect velvety voice that I was still waiting for the big revelation when she stopped talking. She probably could have told me that zombies were about to attack and I would still think it sounded intriguing, just because she sounded like cream and honey.
“So you see, it was never Hans’ intention to hurt anyone,” she said.
“Wait, back up.” I shook my head to clear it of the yearning to lean in and taste what those sweet lips of hers tasted like. “Tell me again: what is the problem?”
A triangle formed between her eyebrows. “Hans made a mistake when he exaggerated his work experience and now he’s afraid the Council will be upset with him.”
“I didn’t exaggerate,” Hans cried. “I flat-out lied, Athena. When I transferred to the green area from the purple area, I didn’t tell them I had just received my certification. I told them I was one of the best and faked a recommendation.”
Laughter tickled in my chest. It was too comical to see a grown man so broken up because of so little.
“Did you kill anyone?” I asked him, keeping a straight face.
He jerked back. “Nooo, of course not, how could you ask me that?”
“So where’s the tragedy?” I asked. “It’s not like it’s a real job anyway. You don’t even get paid.”
“What do you mean?” Athena said. “Of course it’s a real job. Just like my job is real.”
“But you don’t have a monetary system, so how can a job be real if you’re not getting paid?”
“We might not have actual money, but just because you don’t understand the fairness system doesn’t mean you can say we don’t have jobs. We all contribute with our special talents.”
“Right, so what’s the harm in Hans volunteering to follow me around?” I shook my head at him. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
Hans stared at me, and then he looked to Athena. “Why are you both being so nice about it, when I’m more or less a criminal?”
She said, “It’s not my place to judge you, and it seems that you’re judging yourself harshly already. People make mistakes, and the fact that you show remorse is a good sign. It tells me you are a different person now than you were then, and that this more mature version of you is in conflict with the actions of the earlier version of you.”
Hans nodded. “I can’t tell you how ashamed I am of what I did.”
“Look, Hansi,” I said and lowered my eyebrows. “I think you should give that earlier version of you a bit of credit here. At least he had ambitions and wanted to go places in life. I like him better than this remorseful version of you.”
Hans blinked in confusion, and Athena dropped her fork.
“And what if someone did the same in your profession?” she said. “How would you like that?”
I threw up my hands. “That’s not the same thing. Hans is a mediator in a place where people apologize for burping.” I rolled my eyes at how ridiculous that was. “It’s not like he’s putting anyone in danger or anything.”
“Still, you could be sympathetic to his regret over having lied. That’s a big burden to carry.”
I couldn’t hold back my laughter any longer. “Trust me, honey, if that’s the biggest burden Hans will carry in his life, he will be fine.”
“So you won’t tell the Council what I did?” Hans asked me.
“Why the hell would I? Now that I have something on you, you’re going to be my wingman when I go chasing the women, aren’t you?”
“Your wingman?” Hans asked. “I don’t understand.”
But Athena understood, and her eyes hardened. “It just means that instead of following your orders from the Council, Finn now thinks that he can have you follow his orders. He wants you to help him sleep with as many women as possible.”
“Oh.” Hans nodded. “I see.”
“Why does that bother you?” I asked Athena who was leaning back in her chair with her arms folded, as if she wanted nothing further to do with this conversation.
“Which part of it? Your exploiting a person who just trusted you with his secret, or your sleeping with as many women as possible?” Athena asked and got up to clear the table with hard movements that were unusual for her.
“The last part.” I followed her to the sink. “Are you jealous, Athena?”
“Ha!” She gave a mock laugh and put down the plates with a loud clang. “Don’t flatter yourself.”
Lowering my voice, I leaned in and whispered in her ear. “I warned you.” Athena’s body tensed from my closeness, and an electrical spark of sexual tension ignited between our bodies. “Don’t fall in love with me.”
In that moment, time stood still. She had her hands on the kitchen counter in front of her, her fingers spread out and slightly bent as if she wanted to claw her nails into the wooden surface. Athena didn’t have long nails, hers were short, practical, and clean.
I should have moved back and given her space, but her scent and her closeness had me longing to get even closer to her. Lifting my hand, I twirled a lock of her hair around my finger, studying the way sunbeams from the window made the color of her hair change to a brighter red.
Athena turned her face to look at me, putting us almost nose to nose. The energy crackling between us had jolts running up and down my spine. I held my breath when she whispered back to me in that amazing voice of hers. “Finn.”
“Yeah?”
“Same goes for you.”
“What?”
“Don’t fall in love with me.”
Our eyes were locked. l saw her licking her lips in an unconscious invitation. My muscles tensed with the desire to kiss her. If Hans hadn’t been in the room, I would have, but even before I finished the thought, I was brought back to reality by an incoming caller on my wristband.
Moving away from Athena, I saw that it was Magni and walked out of the house to answer my friend.
CHAPTER 16
News from Home
Finn
“What are you up to you, ugly bastard?” Magni’s face hovered about my wristband in a holographic projection.
“Not as much as I would like to be.”
“We haven’t received a report so Khan wanted me to call you.”
“That’s not true,” a female voice sounded in the background. “It was I who wanted Magni to call you.”
“Hi, Pearl,” I said. “Did Isobel tell you where I am? I’m sorry I haven’t checked in with you myself, but I figured your mom would tell you about Athena’s demand.”
“Hey, don’t push,” Magni complained. “If you wanted Finn to see you, you could have called him yourself.”
Finn’s hologram flickered and Pearl’s pretty face came into view only to flicker out again.
“Why can’t you just change the camera to include us both?” she asked Magni.
“Because this is a conversation between me and Finn.”
“Khan, will you tell your brother to let me talk to Finn? He’s being difficult.”
“You haven’t seen difficult,” Magni muttered but it was Pearl’s face that came up, so he must have moved over a bit.
“Finn, what is going on between you and Athena?” she asked.
“Nothing. She needs time to undo the curse and has asked that I stay here for five days.”
“How many times must I tell you that there is no such thing as a curse, Finn?”
“Yeah, well, Athena says there is and she’s working to lift it.”
“And what is this curse supposed to do that is so bad?” Pearl asked.
“That’s personal,” I said and changed the subject. “How about the other men, have you had reports from them?”
“Yes, and they are exceeding my expectation. I’m very proud of all of them, and according to my mother the Motlanders are really impressed with them.”
I could hear deep laughter, and Magni reclaimed the connection with a sound of protest from Pearl. “They made Bruce Lee do some kind of balancing act on a toy.”
“It’s not a toy, it’s a bicycle,” Pearl commented behind him.
“Yeah, whatever it is, it was hilarious and the idiot kept falling on that stupid thing.” Magni was shaking his head and laughing. “Did you see them humiliate him on the news?”
“No.”
“First they showed him falling on his ass and then they interviewed him with a bloody nose. I’m telling you, Momsies might appear all sweet and fussy, but they are experts at emasculating a man.”
“We are not!” Pearl protested in the background.
“Hey, butt out of my conversation with Finn,” Magni said over his shoulder. “And don’t think I didn’t hear you ask Khan to hold your purse the other day. You might as well have cut off his balls.”
“I didn’t hold her purse,” Khan muttered loud enough for me to hear.
“But you considered it, and that’s weakness enough. I’m telling you, Finn, Momsies are a dangerous species and if you don’t watch out, man, one of them is going to suck out whatever masculine pride you have.”
“I’m not holding any purses,” I promised.
“Damn right you aren’t. And neither are you, Khan. Got it?”
“I wasn’t intending to,” Khan confirmed. “And Finn…”
“Yes sir, what is it?”
“I want you to stay away from dance classes. Bruce Lee made a fool out of himself on that bicycle and Richard was tricked into taking a dance lesson. It was a shameful moment in our country’s history.”
“I wish I could have seen it,” I said and chuckled.
“Yeah, well, the rest of us wish we could un-see it.”
“That’s not fair,” Pearl interjected. “Richard did his best and I thought he looked good.”
Magni rolled his eyes. “No six-foot-three, muscled man will ever do well in a ballet class. The man looked retarded the way he jumped around. It was a disgrace, and I don’t care what you say but there’s no way the Council didn’t plan this, just so they could humiliate us all.”
“They are trying to share our culture with you, and ballet is very popular in the Motherlands,” Pearl piped up.
“It’s guerilla war, is what it is,” Magni told her. “Don’t think I don’t see how Richard was ambushed.”
“You’ve got war on your mind, Magni,” Pearl complained. “Khan, will you say something, please?”
“Magni does have a
point, honey. What man can think straight with twenty beautiful women in tight outfits dancing around him? I agree, that it was a sneaky attack to make us look bad.”
“Finn, tell them they are paranoid and crazy,” Pearl begged.
I laughed and realized how much I missed them. “You two are paranoid and crazy.”
“Not at all,” Magni protested. “You wait until you see the way the women danced. At one point a whole group of them bent over and touched their toes, right in front of Richard. And it’s not like the fucking costume they made him wear did anything to hide his excitement. I would have flat-out refused to put on those tight pants,” Magni pointed out with a grimace.
“Okay, no dance lessons,” I said. “It’s understood.”
“If you’re done talking your crazy talk, ask Finn what’s he’s been doing these past two days,” Pearl said.
“Why? He can hear you, you know.”
“Pearl, I’m happy to tell you that I’ve been to a family unit and met a pair of five-year-old twins and a baby called Marita.”
“Aww, I love babies. Did you get to hold her?”
“No, but she gripped my finger, and we also went to visit the local school, and that‘s when things got crazy.”
“Why? Did you get in a fight?”
“What the fuck, Magni?” I frowned. “Who the hell would I fight in a school?”
“I don’t know.” Magni shrugged. “You were the one who said things got crazy.”
“Because I met a copy of myself.”
“I’m not following.”
“There’s a kid there. His name is Tristan and I swear to you, the boy looks just like me.”
“That is crazy.” Magni lifted his eyebrows. “A Motlander kid that looks like a thirty-four-year-old Nman. I wanna meet that kid.”
“Ha-ha, very funny.” I flipped him my finger. “I’m serious. It was like seeing myself at fifteen.”
“Send me his picture and let me be the judge.”
“You don’t remember what I looked like,” I said and added, “Do you?”