by Elin Peer
Yes, Athena was everything that woman in the picture had represented to me, and with that realization, I swallowed hard, searching for the right words to tell her how amazing she was, but before I could say anything, she kissed me.
For a second I was so surprised. “Wait, are you offering me…” I couldn’t even say it. The idea that Athena was offering to have sex with me, of her own free will, blew my mind. I hadn’t seduced her, pressured her, or flirted with her, had I? We had been talking about my disgusting past. How the hell could that make her want to have sex with me?
“You don’t have to,” I said, but she just kissed me again.
“Remember when I said that I was more interested in the spiritual part of lovemaking?” she asked and looked down.
“Uh-huh.”
“Your opening up and sharing your secrets with me makes me feel connected to you, and respected by you.”
“I thought you would hate me when you knew what I had done.”
She raised her gaze to meet mine. “Finn, you are not that scared fifteen-year-old boy anymore. You might have killed that awful man, but don’t forget that you became a doctor – dedicating your adult life to easing people’s suffering and saving lives.”
I leaned in and kissed her then. My head was exploding with an overwhelming mix of desire, gratitude, and excitement for this sexy, forgiving, wise, and sweet member of the female gender.
“Athena,” I whispered. “I like you a lot.”
“I like you too,” she said, smiling. “I love that we can finally be honest with each other.”
Guilt gnawed at me and, being stupid, I blurted out my other secret.
CHAPTER 22
Satisfaction
Athena
“I might have lied to you,” Finn told me.
“About what?” I asked but my words were muffled from our kissing.
“I’m not as experienced as I told you,” he admitted.
Pulling back my head, I looked at him. “What are you talking about?”
“The thing is that I might have exaggerated when I said that I slept with five women. I mean I kissed five women, but I only had sex with two of them and it was quick and kind of awkward.”
“Then why did you say five?” I asked.
Finn leaned his head back and covered his eyes with his hand. “Because I’m an ass, and I got carried away.”
“You wanted to impress your friends, didn’t you?”
“Maybe.”
“Were you going to tell them that you slept with me too?” I asked with a small smile because it was melting my heart that Finn was coming clean about everything.
He gave me a sheepish grin. “Technically it wouldn’t be a lie. I did sleep with you these past nights.”
My smiled widened. “You slept next to me, that’s not the same, and you know they would think we made love if you say we slept together.”
“We almost did last night, and I haven’t left yet. There’s still tonight,” he said with a hopeful tone.
Butterflies took up flight between my ribs, and curiosity, lust, and my growing feelings for Finn made me lower my eyes to his lips in a silent invitation.
I knew this was our last night together and that it didn’t mean as much to him as it did to me. I wasn’t a naïve romantic who thought there was a future for us, but I wanted tonight.
Finn kissed me with deep hunger and after the same bump and grind that we’d done yesterday, his fingers fumbled to undress with his breathing a bit shallow.
When he hooked his fingers in each side of my panties and peeled them down, his jaw tightened.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Finn curled my panties up in his fist, and there was no humor in his eyes when he spoke. “I keep waiting for you to say stop any second now.”
“Do you want me to say stop?” I asked.
He shook his head. “There’s nothing I want more than to make love with you.”
“You’re afraid I won’t go through with it?”
“Yeah,” he admitted, dropping my panties to the floor, and letting his hand slide from my knees down to my inner thighs.
I was bare, while Finn was still wearing his briefs, which did nothing to hide the large tent in the front. He was sitting on his knees in front of me, and with a desire to explore every part of his strong body, I got up on my knees to sit in front of him.
“That thing you said to Miles about Nmen waking up us Motlander women,” I reminded him in a soft voice. “I feel it with you.” My hands roamed over his strong chest, my fingers playing with his chest hair.
Finn didn’t answer but he was watching my every move and when I leaned in and licked his left nipple, he made a guttural sound in the back of his throat and closed his eyes.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Finn leaned his head back, looking up in the ceiling when he spoke. “I want to take it slow and savor this, but it’s really hard to restrain myself from all the things I want to do with you.”
My lips pursed upward and I licked his other nipple. “What things would that be?”
Finn’s hands weaved into my hair holding it away from my face so he could look at me. “I want to take you in every position I possibly can.”
“What’s stopping you?” I said with a teasing smile.
In a second, Finn was out of his briefs and pushed me down. “I don’t want to hurt you, I’ll make sure you’re ready for me,” he said and used his tongue to pleasure me.
I trembled from the intense feeling of his warm breath and wet tongue against my swollen bundle of nerves.
“Have you done this before?” I asked in a breathy voice.
“No, why?” he looked up. “Am I doing it wrong?”
I shook my head. “No it’s perfect.”
At my visits to the pleasure parlor, I had enjoyed oral sex with sex-bots, but compared to this, the bots now seemed impersonal and mechanical. The sounds Finn made and the way his fingers bore into my thighs to hold me in place satisfied something deep in me. His raw desire and want for me made me close my eyes and moan his name, while fisting my hands in his thick dark hair.
He stayed at it until my body shivered and I arched in a sweet release.
My eyes were closed as I enjoyed the peace that spread in my body like liquid happiness. Finn was changing position, and nose-to-nose with me, he lifted my arms and placed them around his neck. “Hold on to me,” he instructed and it made me open my eyes at the same time as he lifted me up and pulled me onto his lap.
Finn was sitting on the bed with his feet resting on the floor and me astride him.
Looking into my eyes he whispered, “Are you ready?”
I nodded and used my thigh muscles to lift up high enough for him to position himself right at my entrance. My mouth opened in a silent oh, as he slid inside me, his erection feeling large and intrusive.
Giving me a second to adjust, Finn tightened his hold around my hips and pushed me down over him, one delicious centimeter at a time. His eyes burned with lust and desire, and the sizzling connection between us only intensified as he guided me up and down in a slow and steady rhythm.
This was nothing like having sex with a bot. The vibrant energy in every cell of my body was so powerful that I opened up and reached for him spiritually, forgetting all rules of self-protection and energy hygiene. Finn filled me in every way, and I was euphoric to feel the difference in him from earlier. His energy was much lighter than before.
“It feels amazing,” I whispered and rotated my hips to take more of him.
“You have no idea,” he groaned and looked at me like I was some sort of mirage that could disappear any second.
In a shifting movement, he turned me around to lie on the bed while he kneeled on the floor. Pulling me to the edge of the bed he pumped in and out of me while playing with my breasts.
I loved seeing the red color spread on his face, and the perspiration on his forehead as he pushed faster and harder.
“I want to slow down and make it last longer,” he panted, “but it’s too damn good.”
There were no words I could think of, since my body was working autonomously and had cut off all connection to the rational part of my brain. I focused on Finn and me in this animalistic breeding ritual that was as old as time. My fingers dug into his shoulders, my back arched up, and my hips rotated to meet his every thrust. I even smiled when Finn leaned down and bit my shoulder without breaking the skin, but hard enough to hurt in a delicious way.
Pushing down on me with his weight and lifting my legs over his shoulders, Finn leaned his head back and hammered in and out of me while saying curse words that would have normally disturbed me, but now only excited me. The bed was rocking and hammering against the wall, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was my body’s rise to another volcanic release that made me moan, “I love you, Finn.”
“Yes, that’s it, fuuuck,” Finn screamed. “I’m coming.” He pressed all the way inside me and breathed into my ear while emptying himself inside me with delicious groans of satisfaction.
When it was over we lay close, the haze of lust lifting enough for us to think and function again.
“What are you smiling so smugly about?” I asked him.
“I’m just impressed with myself for seducing you.”
“Seducing me? Are you sure that’s what happened? Did you consider that I bewitched you instead?”
Finn grinned. “Did you just admit that you are a witch?”
“If I were, don’t you think I would have turned you into one of those animals I threatened you with?”
“What? A toad, a rat, or what was the last thing you said? A small lapdog? I’ve already explained to you how it would backfire and I would kill you for it.”
Pushing Finn’s dark hair behind his ear and playing with his black earring, I smiled. “Which is why I’ve decided to turn you into a sweet little harmless bunny and call you Finnybun.”
Finn tickled me until I took my words back, and with the tickling we were back to touching and kissing again.
“I was thinking we should do a second test round, you know, just to be certain that the curse is really lifted, and maybe try some of all the positions we never got around to.”
I didn’t object to the idea.
CHAPTER 23
Love
Finn
Athena wasn’t in the bed when I woke up. I was confused when I came down to the kitchen and found her behaving as if nothing had happened between us.
When I tried to touch her, she moved away and it was impossible for me to lock eyes with her.
“I’m afraid it’s going to be a quick breakfast,” Hans said. “We have a busy schedule, with all the catching up we have to do, so we need to get going as soon as possible.”
Athena shoved a bowl of oatmeal with fruit on top into my hands. I put it down on the table next to me. “Hans, would you mind giving me a moment alone with Athena?”
“Sure, I’ll just put our bags in the drone, and leave you two to your goodbyes.” Hans gave Athena a big hug before he picked up our bags and left the house.
“Athena,” I said and moved in front of her. “What happened between us last night, it was…” I lifted her chin and drowned in her amazing green eyes that were tearing up.
“It was beautiful,” she whispered and the first tear ran down her freckled cheek. “I’ll never forget you, Finn.”
“Forget me?” I frowned.
“When I first heard you wanted to come here and apologize to me, I had this idea that I wanted you to experience the same loss of control that you submitted me to. I wanted you to reach a new level of empathy and maturity.”
“Athena, I…”
“I know it hasn’t been easy for you, Finn, but you have learned to trust and last night you opened up to me, showing me a new and more vulnerable side of yourself. I consider that a breakthrough in your personal development.”
Frustrated with her clinical way of characterizing what had happened between us, I covered her mouth with my hand. “Will you shut up for a moment?”
Athena’s eyes grew wide, but at least she was quiet enough for me to say my piece. “Ask me your stupid question again,” I said and pulled my hand away.
“What question?” she asked.
“Would I rather sleep with one woman for the rest of my life or a new one every night?”
Athena blinked away a few tears. “I think I know the answer. You should know that it makes me happy that you feel that way.”
“I do. Last night was the best night of my life.”
“Oh, Finn.” Lifting up on her toes, Athena wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a tight hug. “I want you to be happy. I want you to find that special someone and be happy with her.”
My body stiffened, and my throat grew thick. “I thought you…” Heat was spreading in my body and not in a good way. Shifting my balance, I took a step back, holding on to her hands. “When you said that you loved me – I mean, was that a lie?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then why can’t it be you and me? Why are you talking about someone else?”
“I’m a priestess, Finn. I took a vow and I can’t leave the Motherlands.”
I squeezed her hands tighter. “Then I’ll stay here with you.”
“You would be miserable. And what about your friends, alcohol, and meat?”
“I don’t care,” I said with a knot in my chest. “The way I feel when I’m with you…” My voice was thick with emotion. “Last night was amazing.” Cupping her face with both my hands, I stared into her eyes with intensity. “I’m not walking away from that.”
Athena wrapped her hands around my wrists and pulled at them, but I didn’t let go of her face.
“I didn’t tell you that I loved you last night, but I think I do.”
“That’s good,” Athena whispered. “If you can love me, then you can love someone else too.”
A sense of panic was rising within me. “I don’t want to love someone else,” I insisted. The way she just stood there, looking at me with her eyes overflowing with tears, made it sink in that she had made up her mind.
Releasing her face, I took a step back. “So this is it then?”
Her sad smile twisted my insides. “Yes. I hope you will see that we have given each other a great gift.”
My jaw hardened. “No, I don’t see that at all.”
Athena’s shoulders fell and with a sigh, she breathed, “Hopefully, in time, you will.”
A knock on the door was followed by Hans popping his head in. “Are you ready to go?” he asked me, and I wanted to shout that I wasn’t, but if Athena didn’t want me, I couldn’t force her.
“We’re already late,” he said in an apologetic tone. “We have to get going.”
“Goodbye, Athena.” My voice was dripping with bitterness. “Thank you for last night, you were a great fuck.” My pride took that last cheap shot. It was that same pride that forced my feet to walk to the drone without looking back. My heart on the other hand was shouting for me to run back and beg for Athena to love me.
I could do that. I was an Nman and we never begged.
“Our first stop is a hospital about two hours from here,” Hans said as the drone took off. “There will be a lot of press to witness your meeting with the local doctors and patients.”
I looked straight ahead, with empty eyes. Five days earlier, I would have cracked a joke, and made fun of the tension, but the loss that consumed me at that moment was too intense for me to care about what Hans thought of me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Hans asked me half an hour later, when I still hadn’t said a word.
“No.”
“Sometimes it helps to talk about your emotions,” he said, “and as part of my mediator training, I took a lot of psychology classes.”
“What does that have to do with me?”
“I just meant that I might be able to help you i
f you tell me what you’re sad about.”
I snorted, and turned my head away. “Unless they handed out magic wands at those psychology classes, I doubt there’s much you can do.”
“You could let me try,” Hans coaxed.
I wanted to shout at him to leave me alone, but Hans was just trying to be nice, and I needed his help.
“Look, I’ll play nice in the hospital and wherever I need to be, but you gotta do me a favor, man.”
“Sure, what can I do to make you feel better?” Hans asked.
“I’m not leaving the Motherlands without talking to Laura.”
“Laura? You mean Magni’s wife?”
“Yes. Your people know where she is. I don’t need to know where she lives, just set up a meeting where I can talk to her.”
“I don’t have that kind of power, I already told you that I’m just a rookie.”
“But a creative rookie. Put those mediator skills to use and make it happen.”
He looked thoughtful. “Hmm, you said she studied martial arts, right?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I suppose I could call around and see if anyone knows anything. The problem is that I’m new to this area and don’t know many people here.”
“Just find Laura, and do it quick. I only have five days left before I go back and I don’t want to disappoint Magni.”
Hans used the remaining time in the drone to call friends. I had to give it to him that he was pretty creative. For every person he talked to, he made them promise to call other people and ask about a ginger-haired woman around twenty, who would have arrived around May and who would be training in martial arts.
Once we reached the hospital, I was more subdued than normal when I walked around with the two female professors. Not once did I flirt with them.
I kept my answers short and asked a minimum of questions, because underneath my professional surface, I was grieving the loss of Athena.
Over the next two days, we visited an all-blurred-together succession of medically related places. I smiled and waved to the cameras and even joked a time or two, but anyone who knew me would be able to see that I wasn’t myself.