Did she buy clothes appropriate for summer in Colorado or restock her wardrobe with items she’d be able to use back in her old life? It was hard to know when she was so unclear as to what was coming next.
She could hear Paige talking to someone when she came back downstairs and noticed an enormous truck parked at the curb with the words Travers Construction painted on the side.
Sienna slipped out the front door and headed for her rental car. Her phone rang just as she turned the key in the ignition.
“Did you forget something?” Cole’s deep voice asked when she picked up.
She swallowed, butterflies taking flight in her belly just at the sound of his voice. “I don’t think so.”
“How about to say goodbye?” he suggested, and she could hear both amusement and frustration lacing his tone.
“You were in the shower.”
“The bathroom door wasn’t locked.”
“Oh.”
“Thank you for staying with me,” he said gently. “Next time don’t run off.”
“Oh,” she repeated, realizing she sounded like an idiot but unable to form better words.
“There will be a next time,” Cole told her, once again displaying his uncanny ability to read her mind.”
She licked her dry lips. “Okay.”
He chuckled. “What are your plans today?”
“I’m going to see my dad. After last night, there are things he and I need to talk about.”
“Memories?”
“I know my mom’s side of the story.” Sienna pushed her hair away from her face. “Why she left and why she took me and not Jase. I want to understand Declan’s side.”
“And?” Cole prompted.
“Why he never reached out to me,” Sienna admitted.
“You have a right to answers.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. “I’ll call you later.”
She disconnected the call, took a deep breath and drove to her father’s neighborhood on the other side of downtown.
It was another beautiful day in Crimson, the bright sun warming the air. The sky overhead was the brilliant blue she was quickly coming to associate with Colorado, and she realized now why she’d never quite grown accustomed to the gray skies that hung over Chicago at different times during the year. Some place inside her remembered the expansive swath of blue and the constant sun, because the warmth of the rays felt like a hug from a long-lost friend.
She didn’t stop at Life is Sweet this morning, keeping her focus on her goal of meeting with Declan. Downtown was just beginning to wake up as she drove through, and she wondered if Jase was already at his office or still at home.
Did he find it as crazy as she did that she barely remembered anything about the first seven years of her life? He’d seemed shocked at her reaction to the talk about fireworks. Maybe if things went well with her father, she’d go and see Jase next.
Maybe today would be the day she’d get closure on issues that had plagued her for decades. Maybe today she could finally move forward.
She got out of the car as soon as she parked, not letting her nerves get the better of her.
Declan opened the front door as she approached. He wore a black T-Shirt and faded Levis. So different from her stepfather, who favored monogrammed button-downs and crisp cotton pants even on the weekends. “I wondered if I’d see you this morning,” he said, stepping back to let her into the space. “I wasn’t sure after you took off last night.”
“I didn’t remember how I got the scar on my wrist,” she admitted as she walked past him. “When I did, it threw me for a loop.”
She blinked several times as she took in the interior of the small family room, her breath catching in her throat.
“Is that the same sofa you had in the trailer?” she asked in a whisper.
Declan let out a small laugh behind her. “That throwing you for a loop, too?”
“Maybe.”
Definitely. She walked forward and placed a hand on the back of the worn fabric, a heavy plaid pattern that was faded and threadbare in some spots.
“Jase wanted me to get something new, but this is the most comfortable couch I’ve ever sat on. Besides, it’s lucky.”
“How do you figure?”
“I watched the Broncos win two Super Bowl rings on that couch. Look at this.” He moved around to the front of the sofa and picked up one of the cushions, holding it up so she could see the underside of it. “See that stain?”
Sienna stifled a grimace. “Yes.”
“You had reflux as baby,” he told her with a grin. “Seemed like you threw up more formula than you kept down some days. That’s from you.”
“Oh.” She had no idea how to respond to that or the pride in Declan’s voice, like he should be awarded some kind of gold star for his knowledge of her.
“I understand things about you, baby girl.” Her heart ached at the term of endearment. More memories whispered into her mind, hazy and fine like a wisp of smoke. She could make them out as if through a fog, smell them, taste the past on the tip of her tongue but if she reached for them, tried to hold them in her hands, they disappeared like mist.
In their place, anger rose like a wave inside her. “You don’t know enough. You have this tiny scar, but Mom has the rest of me. She was the one who held back my hair when I got the flu and puked for three days.”
She pressed a hand to her stomach. “Would you like to see the scar from when I had my appendix out senior year of high school? I sure don’t remember you being in the hospital or sending a card.”
“I didn’t know,” he said, placing the cushion back on the sofa.
“You don’t know anything about me. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself you were a decent dad when I was young, but a good father wouldn’t let his daughter go the way you did.”
“Your mother didn’t give me a choice,” Declan argued, but his voice was weak, shaky.
“There’s always a choice.” Sienna paced to the far side of the room, drawn by the framed photographs displayed on the narrow bookshelf. One showed Emily’s son, Davey, holding up a trout on a dock in front of a mountain lake. One was a photo of Declan and Jase that looked like it had been taken at that same lake.
The third was Sienna as a toddler. She wore a pale yellow dress with a pattern of sunflowers across the front of it and her blond hair was pulled back into two pigtails. It was a photo she hadn’t seen before. Her mother didn’t have many pictures of Sienna before they moved to Chicago.
“That was your favorite dress,” her dad said from behind her. “You’d wear it for days at a time before your mom would force you to take it off so it could be washed.”
Studying the photo was almost like looking at a stranger, even though she clearly recognized herself. She squeezed her eyes shut and combed through her memories, trying to recall the dress.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said after a moment, more to herself than Declan. “You let me go.” She whirled around to face him. “Why didn’t you fight for me? I can’t imagine I was so precious to you if you didn’t even come after me when Mom moved away.”
“She needed you,” he said, holding up his hands. “I knew there was no way to make her stay with how unhappy she was here. I loved your mother, but we were toxic together.”
“All you needed was Jase,” she said, the words like sandpaper scraping across her tongue. “As long as you had him—”
“He chose to stay,” Declan argued. “Dana would have taken him, too, but—”
“He was a kid,” Sienna shouted. “Just like me. Neither of you had the right to make the choice you did for either of us.”
“Your mother was the one to cut off communication. This is her fault.”
“You didn’t fight for me.” Sienna pounded an open palm against her chest. “Because I wasn’t worth it to you.”
“Not true.” Declan ran a hand through his hair. “I thought about you every day. I loved you.”
“Don’t say that. Y
ou don’t get to use those words with me.” The emotion she’d kept at bay for so many years poured forth. The walls she’d built around her heart bursting open. She wanted to hurt her father the way she’d been hurt.
“This was a mistake,” she said, drawing in a deep breath. “I have nothing to say to you because you mean nothing to me. Less than nothing.” She bit down on her bottom lip to keep from crying. That’s how his tacit rejection had made her feel—less than nothing. For years, she’d taken scraps of affection from everyone around her because that’s all she felt like she deserved.
She started toward the front door. Fresh air and sunshine would remind her that there was a big world still spinning despite the pinpoint of her own problems that seemed to be all she could see at the moment.
Her fingers had just gripped the knob when the crash had her spinning back around. Her breath caught as she saw Declan land on the floor, eyes closed and body limp. The lamp and side table he’d knocked over during his fall lay on the ground next to him.
“Dad!” she screamed, already reaching for her cell phone to dial 911.
Chapter Twelve
Cole took off his hat as he strode through the automatic doors of Crimson Community Hospital an hour later.
He’d been out near the county line when Marlene had radioed him to report that Declan Crenshaw was being rushed to the ER.
Marlene told him Jase was already on his way to the hospital, so Cole tried calling Sienna’s cell but hadn’t been able to reach her. He’d called Paige next, and his gut twisted when she’d explained in a frantic voice that Sienna hadn’t returned after the visit with her father that morning.
He couldn’t imagine a scenario where Sienna might have anything to do with Declan’s condition, but the idea still scared the hell out of him. The last thing she needed was to deal with a health crisis surrounding her dad.
He scanned the waiting room and saw Emily and Noah next to each other on a small leather sofa.
“What happened?” he asked, moving toward them. “Is Declan okay?”
Emily shook her head. “We don’t know. The doctor is with him now. They let Jase go back, but they’re running more tests.” She put a hand on her belly. “It was definitely his heart, but we don’t know how serious it is yet.”
Noah placed a hand on his sister’s shoulder. “The old man is tough.”
“Not like he used to be,” Emily countered. “He puts on a good front, but all those years of drinking have taken their toll.”
Cole ran a hand through his hair and glanced around the waiting room as if he could produce answers to take away some of Emily’s anxiety. She and Jase had been through enough in the past year. They should be getting ready to come to the hospital for the happiest of reasons, not something like this.
“Has anyone talked to Sienna?”
Noah’s lips pressed into a thin line, and Emily let out a muttered curse. “She was with him at the time,” she said, meeting Cole’s gaze. Her pale blue eyes were icy. “She rode here with him in the ambulance—called Jase on the way. But we haven’t seen her.”
Noah snorted. “At this point, all we know is she took off.”
“You can’t blame her,” Cole said immediately.
“Where is she then?” Noah asked. “As usual, Jase is left to take care of his dad on his own.”
“I’ll find her.” Cole stepped away and punched in Sienna’s cell number again. The call went straight to voice mail so he sent a text. When a response didn’t come immediately, he approached the reception desk.
“Hey, Dixie,” he said with a small smile for the fiftysomething woman behind the computer.
“Howdy, Sheriff.” The woman fluffed her hair as she spoke. “Are you here checking on Declan? I hope it’s not too serious, especially for Jase’s sake. That boy has been through hell and back for his dad.”
“Yeah,” Cole agreed automatically. “I’m hoping you can help me with something. There was a woman who rode in the ambula—”
“The daughter,” Dixie said in a scandalized whisper. “I’d heard she was back in town. Looks exactly like her mother did years ago. I used to see Dana Crenshaw in the grocery—do you remember that she was a checker down at the Shop & Go back in the day?”
“I don’t,” Cole admitted, mentally counting to ten. He’d learned quickly upon his arrival in Crimson that a small town moved at its own pace. Most people in Crimson were friendly to a fault, but they wouldn’t be rushed in how they doled out their help.
“We all knew she’d taken a step back marrying Declan. It was obvious she didn’t belong in that trailer park. Falling in love makes a woman do stupid things. She was half out of her mind most of the time, but sober she handled those groceries like she was the queen of England. People around here didn’t see, but I knew she was destined for better things.”
“You’re a good woman, Dixie. As far as Sienn—”
“Do you think the daughter takes after her mom?” Dixie frowned, tapping a finger on her glossed lips. “It was hard to tell when they came through here. I gave her the paperwork to fill out for Declan, and she didn’t say much. But the poor thing could have been in shock, you know? I remember when—”
“Have you seen her?” Cole interrupted, unable to be patient any longer. “I’m looking for Sienna.”
“Well then.” Dixie studied him for a few moments, her brows raised. “She might have headed for the cafeteria.” She pointed down the hall. “I think I mentioned that Tuesday is tomato soup day, since she was going to be waiting for her dad. People forget to eat in times of stress.”
“Thanks, Dixie.” Cole smiled again. “The hospital is lucky to have you.”
“Of course they are,” the woman agreed with a wink. “See you, Sheriff.”
Cole glanced back to the waiting room, but Emily and Noah hadn’t moved and Jase was still nowhere in sight. He made his way quickly to the cafeteria, scanning the tables until he saw a familiar cascade of blond hair near the far corner.
“Hey,” he said as he came to stand next to her. “You doing okay?”
Sienna glanced up, then quickly away, her eyes round with what looked like residual shock. Her skin was pale, her shoulders slumped. Cole wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms and tell her he’d make everything right again.
“I should never have come here,” she told him, shaking her head.
“Don’t say that.” He pulled out the chair next to her, metal scraping against the floor.
“Why not? Everyone else will be.” She stared directly in front of her, unwilling to look at him. “I could hear it in Jase’s voice when I called him.” She shuddered. “Do you know what he said? ‘What did you do to him?’ Like the cardiac arrest was my fault.”
“It wasn’t.”
“You don’t know that.” She pressed a hand to her chest. “I don’t know that. The woman at the front desk handed me all this paperwork like I can fill it out. As if I know anything about my father’s medical history or insurance.” She gave a short laugh. “I don’t even know his birth date.”
She grabbed the clipboard from the table, holding it so tight her knuckles turned white. Cole placed a hand over hers, willing her to relax.
“Look at me, Sienna. Tell me what happened.”
She shook her head. “I went to his house, and we argued. Or I argued. I yelled at him. So much anger came tumbling out.” Her gaze flicked to his. “He had a framed photo of me as a girl, and it set everything off. He thinks he knows me, but he doesn’t. He couldn’t possibly.”
“You can change that.”
“I’ve done a real bang-up job so far.” She blew out a breath. “I spent my first week in town hiding out only to storm away from a family dinner. Then today—” Her voice cut out on a choked sob. “What if Declan doesn’t make it? What if all those horrible things I said are his last memories of me?”
“It wouldn’t matter.” He lifted his free hand to the back of her neck, gently massaging the tight muscles ther
e. “Declan owns his mistakes, and he made some big ones with you. That’s on him, Sienna.”
She leaned into his touch and let out a sigh. “How I deal with him now is on me. I’m an adult. I have a life. My daddy didn’t want me when I was a girl. Big deal, right?”
Cole thought of his relationship with his own father. Until his arrest, Richard Bennett had been a picture-perfect parent. He’d taught Cole and Shep to fish and hunt, run alongside them when they’d learned to ride bikes. He’d been to every football game and parent-teacher conference he was in town for, and most of all he’d always made both boys feel safe and loved. At least that’s how Cole had seen it. Shep had a different opinion—bristling against the strict rules his father set in the house.
Cole’s dad had been his idol, which was why his arrest and then shocking death had hit so hard. He still couldn’t imagine how he would have felt growing up without his dad or believing he didn’t want anything to do with him.
“Come back with me to the waiting area. Emily and Noah are there while Jase is in the room with Declan.”
“Saint Jase,” Sienna muttered.
“No one blames you.”
She rolled her eyes. “Liar.”
“It won’t help to keep yourself separate from them.”
“It’ll help me,” she said, her voice breaking, “not deal with the fact that I may have just killed my estranged father.”
“Don’t say that.”
She lowered her head, tears dripping onto the hospital paperwork.
His heart ached, but clearly sympathy wasn’t helping. “I never took you for a coward.” He cringed inwardly when her shoulders stiffened.
A moment later, she looked up, her eyes blazing. If she could have killed him with a look, he’d be long gone. She swiped at her eyes. “Is this reverse psychology?” she asked, her tone menacing.
“You have to face this thing,” he said instead of answering. “Or run back to Mommy and Stepdaddy and your little insulated world of privilege and first-world problems.”
Coming Home to Crimson Page 11