Reasonable Insanity

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Reasonable Insanity Page 5

by Cynthia Freeman Gibbs


  The server brought the check and apologized again about the food. After the girls paid their bill, they headed out of the restaurant. They decided to shop for swimsuits for the “Black Beach Party,” a popular event in Daytona Beach every year.

  They walked through the mall and found a store with swimsuits on sale for five dollars. Savvy’s stomach protruded slightly from eating too much. She worried if it would stick out in everything she tried on. Olivia didn’t seem full at all despite the fact she ate a lot more.

  “Girl, check out this bikini. This is hot.” Olivia pulled a ruffled, yellow bikini off the rack.

  “That’ll be great on you, Olivia. What do you think of this blue one with the flowers? I can’t believe these are only five dollars.” Savvy stood in front of a mirror holding the swimsuit to her body.

  “Come on, grab some and let’s go try them on.” Olivia picked out several and Savvy did the same before heading to the fitting room. The girls acted like they were on a runway each time they exited their rooms wearing the different swimsuits. They struck model poses in the mirror and laughed at their silliness.

  Olivia’s skinny appearance got Savvy’s attention when she tried on a turquoise bikini. She could see Olivia’s ribs and bony shoulders.

  “That’s a great color on you,” Savvy exclaimed.

  “I like the color although it makes my stomach poke out,” Olivia said. She turned to the side, looking at her profile in the mirror as she pinched the side of her stomach.

  Savvy’s mouth dropped open. “Are you serious? You don’t have an ounce of fat on you at all. How much weight have you lost?”

  “Just a few pounds. Nothing significant.” Olivia continued examining herself in the mirror.

  “Naw, I think you’ve lost a lot more. I can see your rib bones. Don’t you see that?” Savvy asked, pointing to Olivia’s side.

  “I’ve always been skinny. You haven’t seen me in a swimsuit before. It’s no big deal,” Olivia explained. “Now go put on the red swimsuit. We can see if it’ll be a hot number for the beach.”

  Savvy paused in disbelief about Olivia’s denial regarding her weight loss. Shaking her head, she walked back into her fitting room to put on the red one-piece swimsuit. When she opened the door to exit, Olivia stepped in front of her and had her clothes on.

  “Are you done trying on swimsuits already?” Savvy asked.

  “Yeah, I’m done. Let me in. I want to show you something,” Olivia said.

  Savvy opened the door wider to let Olivia into her fitting room. She walked in, closing the door behind her. She had a wild expression on her face which caught Savvy off guard.

  “Why are you looking crazy right now?” Savvy studied Olivia.

  Olivia slowly lifted the bottom of the blue top she wore. Underneath, she had on the turquoise swimsuit.

  “Um, why do you have your clothes on top of the swimsuit?” Savvy asked.

  “Shut up, Savvy,” Olivia whispered and put her hand on Savvy’s mouth. “Someone might hear you.”

  Confused, Savvy pulled Olivia’s hand away from her mouth and whispered loudly, “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “I’m going to see if I can steal this swimsuit,” Olivia answered.

  “What do you mean? They’re five dollars!”

  “I don’t care,” Olivia said.

  “You’ve lost your mind,” Savvy said, her voice rising.

  Olivia put her hand to her mouth again. “Don’t worry; we won’t get caught. There aren’t any security cameras back here. I already checked it out.”

  Savvy pushed Olivia’s hand away. “We? I don’t have anything to do with this.” Savvy spun around to grab her purse. She pulled out her wallet and counted six one-dollar bills. “Look, I have enough to buy it for you. So, quit trippin’, go take it off, let’s pay for these swimsuits, and leave.”

  “No. I want to see if I can get away with it,” Olivia said with a weird expression on her face, which frightened Savvy.

  “You know what? Get out of my dressing room. Now,” Savvy yelled. “I don’t want anything to do with you. Get out.”

  The store attendant knocked on the door. “Are you girls okay in there? I thought I heard you calling for me. Do you need for me to bring you a different size?”

  Savvy started to say something, and Olivia quickly covered her mouth with her hand again. “No, we’re fine. My friend feels embarrassed about showing me the swimsuit she tried on. I had to make her let me see. You probably heard us laughing about it,” Olivia explained.

  “Okay, let me know if you need anything,” the attendant said and walked away from the door.

  Savvy glared at Olivia and slapped her hand away. “If you ever put your nasty hand on my mouth again, I swear I’ll bite you.”

  “You need to relax and not worry about this,” Olivia said, pointing to the swimsuit underneath her blouse.

  “I have nothing to do with what you’re thinking about doing, and I’m not going to be seen with you.” Savvy quickly took off the red swimsuit to put her clothes on.

  “Don’t worry, you can leave first, and I’ll come out later.” Olivia opened the door and exited the fitting room.

  Savvy couldn’t believe what Olivia was about to do. Her heart began to race, and her palms became sweaty. She didn’t want to go to jail for a stupid five-dollar swimsuit. Shoot, she didn’t want to die for a five-dollar swimsuit because her parents surely would kill her.

  Savvy put her shoes on, opened the door to her fitting room, and scurried out with the red swimsuit in her hand. Olivia sorted through clothes on the racks in the back of the store.

  Savvy marched to her and whispered, “You took that thing off, right?”

  Olivia shook her head and didn’t even turn toward her. She kept browsing through the clothes.

  “I told you, I have enough money to buy it for you. It’s my gift to you.” Savvy grabbed Olivia’s arm to get in her face to glare at her.

  “Girl, I’m good. Okay?” Olivia whispered back with the strange wildness in her face again. “You go ahead, and I’ll catch you in a minute after I finish shopping.”

  Savvy huffed in disgust and turned away from Olivia. Her heart still pounded rapidly from anger. Fear of what might happen replaced the desire to purchase her swimsuit. She put it back on the rack.

  Looking anxiously around, Savvy noticed it had become crowded with a lot of shoppers. The attendant assisted a mother and daughter on the other side of the store.

  Savvy bumped into clothing racks and nervously worked her way into the mall. She maneuvered blindly past several stores and accidentally ran into a woman with a baby carriage.

  “Hey. Watch where you’re going,” the woman yelled and checked on her baby.

  “Oops, I’m sorry,” she apologized.

  Finally, she spotted the red letters on an exit sign. She stumbled out the door onto the sidewalk. The sunlight met her eyes and made her squint.

  Her stomach hurt with pain from the knots of anger. She sat on a bench to catch her breath.

  Just a few minutes later, Olivia snuck up behind her. “Hey, Savvy.”

  Savvy jumped from her seat. “Hey, nothing,” she yelled and glared at her. “Get away from me.”

  “Why are you worked up?” Olivia shrugged. “I finished browsing around in the store and said goodbye to the sales attendant. I made my way out here without the security alarm going off. See. Nothing happened.”

  “But it could have,” Savvy exclaimed in dismay. “I can’t believe you even tried to involve me in your escapade.”

  Olivia laughed, causing Savvy to glare at her in disgust.

  “You are a common thief, and I don’t want anything to do with you anymore.” Savvy walked cautiously backward, away from the bench. “I’m not getting in the car with you to go home. I’ll ride the bus.”

  “Savvy, you need to be calm and lower your voice,” Olivia said slowly. “As you can see, no one is coming after us. They won’t even miss it.”

/>   Savvy’s anger made her eyes well with tears. “Why did you have to steal it? You have a job, and you have money. I even told you I would buy it for you.”

  “I know. I know. I simply wanted to see if I could get away with it,” Olivia explained. “It’s fun when you see how easy it is to steal a few things.”

  “This is what you do for fun?” Savvy asked in astonishment. “If so, we have nothing else in common. There’s no reason for us to associate with each other ever again.

  “Really?” Olivia’s eyes widened and her eyebrows raised in surprise. “So, it’s like that?”

  “Really.” Savvy stomped away from Olivia toward the bus stop. She scowled over her shoulder and shouted, “It’s like that.”

  CHAPTER 7

  The wheels on Olivia’s Honda Accord screeched and left black tread marks on the street. She quickly turned into her parking space at her apartment.

  She jumped out of the car and briefly thought of Savvy. “Savvy is straight trippin’, and I will have to deal with her later,” she mumbled to herself. Right now, she didn’t have time to think about her.

  Olivia hurried to fumble through her keys to find the right one to open the door to her apartment. Dwain wasn’t coming to get her for another three hours, which gave her plenty of time to handle business.

  She headed to the kitchen and pulled a big bag of potato chips, a two-pack package of Hostess lemon cupcakes, and a big Snickers candy bar from the pantry. She opened the freezer and removed a pint of strawberry ice cream.

  Olivia found one clean spoon in her silverware drawer before sitting at the kitchen table. Frantically, she ripped open the bag of chips and shoved handful after handful into her mouth. The sound of her crunching and the crinkling of the bag were the only noises in the room.

  After wiping crumbs from her face with the back of her hand, she grabbed the cupcake package. She fought to pull open the cellophane with her fingers, which were slippery from the greasy chips. In frustration, she pulled at the flap in the middle until it popped.

  The sweet smell of lemon wafted to her nostrils causing her to inhale deeply. She pulled one cupcake out and licked the frosting off the top. Oh, this is so good. She broke it in half to lick the cream filling from the middle. The moist cake seemed to melt in her mouth. She barely took the time to chew and devoured the second one quickly, after which she burped loudly.

  Taking a deep breath, she opened the Snickers bar and her teeth sunk into the chocolate. “Umm,” she said with her mouth full and her eyes closed. Caramel and peanuts stuck in her teeth from chewing the candy, bite after bite, until she finished it.

  Olivia took the lid off the ice cream and licked a drip from the side of the container where it had started to melt. Digging in deep with her spoon, she ate rapidly. “Ouch. Oww.” She cried out and held her head from the brain freeze. After shaking it off, she continued to eat until she hit the bottom of the box.

  She stuffed the empty wrappers and chips bag into the ice cream container to throw away. Olivia leaned back in her chair, moaning and rubbing her tight and queasy stomach. She heard it grumble loudly from the quick intake of sugary and greasy food.

  A juicy sounding belch slipped loudly from Olivia’s mouth. She stood from her chair and ran up the stairs two at a time to the bathroom. She lifted the toilet seat and stuck her finger in her throat. Immediately, she began gagging, which finally led to throwing up everything.

  The residue from the food combined with stomach acid filled her mouth when she wretched in the toilet. The taste and smell of throw up repulsed her, causing her to puke more.

  Her abdomen began to hurt from repeatedly contracting until she couldn’t get anything else to come out. She flushed the commode and closed the lid to keep from seeing the nasty mess. “Ugh. This stuff smells horrible,” she muttered. She grabbed the lavender air freshener and sprayed a choking amount to get rid of the stench.

  Olivia turned to the sink to rinse with mouthwash and wipe her face with a washcloth. Not satisfied, she pulled out a box of laxatives and popped a single pill out of a foil pack. She threw her head back and swallowed it dry.

  Next, she searched in the bathroom drawer to find her enema suppositories. After inserting one carefully and washing her hands, she was ready for a bowel movement in less than two minutes. She completely emptied her belly and ignored the painful cramps in her stomach.

  Relief flooded her emotionally once she finished the ritual she started the day after Dwain told her to lose weight.

  He seemed pleased with her progress, which encouraged her to stay the course. He often reminded her of the importance of her looks and how awesome she was for trying to be smaller.

  To help her achieve her goal of being perfect for Dwain, Olivia increased her running to five miles every weekday morning before class and fifteen miles on Saturdays and Sundays. She ended each day dead tired and weak most of the time. Yet, she began an exercise routine at night after work before going to bed.

  The first couple of weeks were a big success. Olivia started with fasting on liquids only and took diet and water pills. Now, with her new plan, she ate whatever she wanted and threw it back up.

  Olivia removed her clothes and examined herself in the full-length mirror. “I see exactly what Dwain means. My stomach is flabby. I can’t believe my thighs are like cottage cheese,” she mumbled. She turned around and peered over her shoulder at her reflection from the back. Who wants a girlfriend with a butt this big and love handles? She held her arms out to her side and imagined they shook back and forth.

  Overwhelmingly frustrated, she flopped onto her bed. Olivia had to figure out a way to lose even more weight so that Dwain would love her forever. She let out a sigh and popped a diet pill into her mouth.

  CHAPTER 8

  “She actually stole the swimsuit.” Savvy waved her hands in the air and recapped the incident at the mall to her roommate, Nicole. The two of them sat on the sofa in their living room.

  Nicole wore baggy pants and a t-shirt with ‘Fight the Power’ on it along with big silver Ankh earrings. Everything in her closet had something to do with fighting causes in the black community. Nicole, often called “Redbone” since she has Tuscan sun colored skin, has strong facial features with full lips, a wide nose, and a broad forehead. She wore her hair in a short box cut, which fit her sense of style.

  “No, she didn’t.” Nicole listened in shock. “I can’t believe she did that. She could’ve gotten both of you arrested.”

  “I know. She’s a thief. I told her I don’t want anything else to do with her,” Savvy said and shook her head. “I don’t have time for people like her in my life.”

  “Yeah, she sounds like bad news to me,” Nicole said.

  “She’s cool for the most part. There are some things about her I can’t seem to understand though.”

  “Like what?

  “Well, in addition to stealing, she seems to be too concerned about how she looks. She doesn’t even have any pictures of herself or her family in her apartment. She used to have them on the walls the first few times I visited. Now, they aren’t there for some reason.”

  “That’s strange.”

  “It is. She’s insecure about herself despite the fact she looks like a runway fashion model. At least, she used to. She’s always comparing herself to lighter-skinned women and seems to think she needs to lose weight.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me. She’s already too skinny. If she loses another pound, she’ll become a skeleton.”

  “Right. When we got together today, she ate like crazy. For some reason, she never seems to gain any weight. Her face looks swollen and bloated to me although her body is tiny. I wonder if she has a disease of some kind or something,” Savvy said.

  “You know, I would say perhaps she’s anorexic. However, you said she’s eating a lot of food,” Nicole said. “You don’t hear about black women having eating disorders, though.”

  “Right. With the amount of food she eats, there’
s no way she’s anorexic. What do they call the eating disorder where people eat a lot of food and throw it up?” Savvy asked.

  “I think it’s called bulimia. But, that’s more of a white girl’s disease, right?”

  “Black men like black women to keep our curves, which is why I can’t imagine Olivia doing that. Not to mention it’s gross to throw up.”

  “Eww. The thought of anyone making themselves throw up is nasty and makes me sick from thinking about it.” Nicole scrunched her nose. “Well, if I could be pretty like Olivia, I would have all the men chasing after me. She is freakin’ gorgeous.”

  “Exactly. I don’t know what her issue is. It seems to have gotten worse since she started dating Dwain. It’s like she doesn’t think he’s attracted to her and wants her to be perfect. I don’t get it.”

  “Me neither. If she’s trying to be a Barbie Doll to impress a man, she’s with the wrong guy. Olivia needs to get away from him fast,” Nicole said. “I don’t care how fine Dwain is; he’s not worth it.”

  “You know, that’s the problem with women sometimes. We try to change the way we are for a man and destroy ourselves instead. We need to love the skin we’re in and our bodies. It’s time to stop trying to be like models in a magazine to feel beautiful,” Savvy said.

  “You’re right. We gotta love ourselves before looking for others to love us. Men love my double D’s and my voluptuous booty. I make sure I switch it when I walk by them on campus. They can’t resist trying to reach out and grab it.” Nicole stood and sashayed her hips seductively.

  “Girl, you’re too funny,” Savvy laughed.

  “Shoot, they don’t want no skinny girls,” Nicole replied.

  “Well, if I ever speak to Olivia again, I’m going to have a conversation with her about this before she makes herself sick from losing too much weight. Right now, I have no intention of having anything to do with her for a while. I need some space right now,” Savvy explained.

  “I understand,” Nicole said.

  “Hey. On another subject, doesn’t Carl Greer work on the same shift you do?” Savvy asked. Carl invaded her dreams almost every night ever since he passed by her at Club Faces. His lean muscular body brushed against hers while gazing at her with his clear, light green eyes. It never failed, right when his succulent lips were about to kiss her lips, she woke in a sweat and out of breath.

 

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